the dust-第24章

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in　the　laboratory；　Dorothy　Hallowell　was　to　him　Newton　Hallowell's　daughter。

When　he　came　the　following　day；　with　his　original　purposes　and　plans　once　more　intact；　as　he　thought；　he　found　that　she　had　made　more　of　a　toilet　than　usual；　had　devised　a　new　way　of　doing　her　hair　that　enabled　him　to　hang　a　highly　prized　addition　in　his　memory　gallery　of　widely　varied　portraits　of　her。

The　afternoon　was　warm。　　They　sat　under　a　big　old　tree　at　the　end　of　the　garden。　　He　saw　that　she　was　much　disturbedand　that　it　had　to　do　with　him。　　From　time　to　time　she　looked　at　him；　studying　his　face　when　she　thought　herself　unobserved。　　As　he　had　learned　that　it　is　never　wise　to　open　up　the　disagreeable；　he　waited。　After　making　several　futile　efforts　at　conversation；　she　abruptly　said：

〃I　saw　Mr。　Tetlow　this　morningin　Twenty…third　Street。　　I　was　coming　out　of　a　chemical　supplies　store　where　father　had　sent　me。〃

She　paused。　　But　Norman　did　not　help　her。　　He　continued　to　wait。

〃HeMr。　Tetlowacted　very　strangely；〃　she　went　on。　　〃I　spoke　to　him。　　He　stared　at　me　as　if　he　weren't　going　to　speakas　if　I　weren't　fit　to　speak　to。〃

〃Oh！〃　said　Norman。

〃Then　he　came　hurrying　after　me。　　And　he　said；　‘Do　you　know　that　Norman　is　to　be　married　in　two　weeks？'　〃

〃So！〃　said　Norman。

〃And　I　said；　‘What　of　it？　　How　does　that　interest　me？'　〃

〃It　didn't　interest　you？〃

〃I　was　surprised　that　you　hadn't　spoken　of　it；〃　replied　she。　　〃But　I　was　more　interested　in　Mr。　Tetlow's　manner。　　What　do　you　think　he　said　next？〃

〃I　can't　imagine；〃　said　Norman。

〃Whythat　I　was　even　more　shameless　than　he　thought。　　He　said：　　‘Oh；　I　know　all　about　you。　　I　found　out　by　accident。　　I　shan't　tell　anyone；　for　I　can't　help　loving　you　still。　　But　it　has　killed　my　belief　in　woman　to　find　out　that　YOU　would　sell　yourself。'　〃

She　was　looking　at　Norman　with　eyes　large　and　grave。　　〃And　what　did　you　say？〃　he　inquired。

〃I　didn't　say　anything。　　I　looked　at　him　as　if　he　weren't　there　and　started　on。　　Then　he　said；　‘When　Norman　abandons　you；　as　he　soon　will；　you　can　count　on　me；　if　you　need　a　friend。'　〃

There　was　a　pause。　　Then　Norman　said；　〃And　that　was　all？〃

〃Yes；〃　replied　she。

Another　pause。　　Norman　said　musingly：　　〃Poor　Tetlow！　　I've　not　seen　him　since　he　went　away　to　Bermudaat　least　he　said　he　was　going　there。　　One　day　he　sent　the　firm　a　formal　letter　of　resignation。　。　。　。　Poor　Tetlow！　　Do　you　regret　not　having　married　him？〃

〃I　couldn't　marry　a　man　I　didn't　love。〃　　She　looked　at　him　with　sweet　friendly　eyes。　　〃I　couldn't　even　marry　you；　much　as　I　like　you。〃

Norman　laugheda　dismal　attempt　at　ease　and　raillery。

〃When　he　told　me　about　your　marrying；〃　she　went　on；　〃I　knew　how　I　felt　about　you。　　For　I　was　not　a　bit　jealous。　　Why　haven't　you　ever　said　anything　about　it？〃

He　disregarded　this。　　He　leaned　forward　and　with　curious　deliberateness　took　her　hand。　　She　let　it　lie　gently　in　his。　　He　put　his　arm　round　her　and　drew　her　close　to　him。　　She　did　not　resist。　　He　kissed　her　upturned　face；　kissed　her　upon　the　lips。　　She　remained　passive；　looking　at　him　with　calm　eyes。

〃Kiss　me；〃　he　said。

She　kissed　himwithout　hesitation　and　without　warmth。

〃Why　do　you　look　at　me　so？〃　he　demanded。

〃I　can't　understand。〃

〃Understand　what？〃

〃Why　you　should　wish　to　kiss　me　when　you　love　another　woman。　　What　would　she　say　if　she　knew？〃

〃I'm　sure　I　don't　know。　　And　I　rather　think　I　don't　care。　　You　are　the　only　person　on　earth　that　interests　me。〃

〃Then　why　are　you　marrying？〃

〃Let's　not　talk　about　that。　　Let's　talk　about　ourselves。〃　　He　clasped　her　passionately；　kissed　her　at　first　with　self…restraint；　then　in　a　kind　of　frenzy。　　〃How　can　you　be　so　cruel！〃　he　cried。　　〃Are　you　utterly　cold？〃

〃I　do　not　love　you；〃　she　said。

〃Why　not？〃

〃There's　no　reason。　　Ijust　don't。　　I've　sometimes　thought　perhaps　it　was　because　you　don't　love　me。〃

〃Good　God；　Dorothy！　　What　do　you　want　me　to　say　or　do？〃

〃Nothing；〃　replied　she　calmly。　　〃You　asked　me　why　I　didn't　love　you；　and　I　was　trying　to　explain。　I　don't　want　anything　more　than　I'm　getting。　　I　am　contentaren't　you？〃

〃Content！〃　　He　laughed　sardonically。　　〃As　well　ask　Tantalus　if　he　is　content；　with　the　water　always　before　his　eyes　and　always　out　of　reach。　　I　want　you　all　you　have　to　give。　　I　couldn't　be　content　with　less。〃

〃You　ought　not　to　talk　to　me　this　way；〃　she　reproved　gently；　〃when　you　are　engaged。〃

He　flung　her　hand　into　her　lap。　　〃You　are　making　a　fool　of　me。　　And　I　don't　wonder。　　I've　invited　it。　Surely；　never　since　man　was　created　has　there　been　such　another　ass　as　I。〃　　He　drew　her　to　her　feet；　seized　her　roughly　by　the　shoulders。　　〃When　are　you　coming　to　your　senses？〃　he　demanded。

〃What　do　you　mean？〃　she　inquired；　in　her　child…　like　puzzled　way。

He　shook　her；　kissed　her　violently；　held　her　at　arm's　length。　　〃Do　you　think　it　wise　to　trifle　with　me？〃　he　asked。　　〃Don't　your　good　sense　tell　you　there's　a　limit　even　to　such　folly　as　mine？〃

〃What　IS　the　matter？〃　she　asked　pathetically。　〃What　do　you　want？　　I　can't　give　you　what　I　haven't　got　to　give。〃

〃No；〃　he　cried。　　〃But　I　want　what　you　HAVE　got　to　give。〃

She　shook　her　head　slowly。　　〃Really；　I　haven't；　Mr。　Norman。〃

He　eyed　her　with　cynical　amused　suspicion。　　〃Why　did　you　call　me　MR。　Norman　just　then？　　Usually　you　don't　call　me　at　all。　　It's　been　weeks　since　you　have　called　me　Mister。　　Was　your　doing　it　just　then　one　of　those　subtle；　adroit；　timely　tricks　of　yours？〃

She　was　the　picture　of　puzzled　innocence。　　〃I　don't　understand；〃　she　said。

〃Wellperhaps　you　don't；〃　said　he　doubtfully。　〃At　any　rate；　don't　call　me　Mr。　Norman。　　Call　me　Fred。〃

〃I　can't。　　It　isn't　natural。　　You　seem　Mister　to　me。　　I　always　think　of　you　as　Mr。　Norman。〃

〃That's　it。　　And　it　must　stop！〃

She　smiled　with　innocent　gayety。　　〃Very　well　Fred。　。　。　。　　Fred。　。　。　。　　Now　that　I've　said　it；　I　don't　find　it　strange。〃　　She　looked　at　him　with　an　expression　between　appeal　and　mockery。　　〃If　you'd　only　let　me　get　acquainted　with　you。　　But　you　don't。　　You　make　me　feel　that　I've　got　to　be　careful　with　youthat　I　must　be　on　my　guard。　　I　don't　know　against　whatfor　you　are　certainly　the　very　best　friend　that　I've　ever　had　the　only　real　friend。〃

He　frowned　and　bit　his　lipand　felt　uncomfortable；　though　he　protested　to　himself　that　he　was　simply　irritated　at　her　slyness。　　Yes；　it　must　be　slyness。

〃So；〃　she　went　on；　〃there's　no　REASON　for　being　on　guard。　　Still；　I　feel　that　way。〃　　She　looked　at　him　with　sweet　gravity。　　〃Perhaps　I　shouldn't　if　you　didn't　talk　about　love　to　me　and　kiss　me　in　a　way　I　feel　you've　no　right　to。〃

Again　he　laid　his　hands　upon　her　shoulders。　　This　time　he　gazed　angrily　into　her　eyes。　　〃Are　you　a　fool？　Or　are　you　making　a　fool　of　me？〃　he　said。　　〃I　can't　decide　which。〃

〃I　certainly　am　very　foolish；〃　was　her　apologetic　answer。　　〃I　don't　know　a　lot　of　things；　like　you　and　father。　　I'm　only　a　girl。〃

And　he　had　the　maddening　sense　of　being　baffled　againof　having　got　nowhere；　of　having　demonstrated　afresh　to　himself　and　to　her　his　own　weakness　where　she　was　concerned。　　What　unbelievable　weakness！　　Had　there　ever　been　such　another　case？　　Yes；　there　must　have　been。　　How　little　he　had　known　of　the　possibil…　ities　of　the　relations　of　men　and　womenhe　who　had　prided　himself　on　knowing　all！

She　said；　〃You　are　going　to　marry？〃

〃I　suppose　so；〃　replied　he　sourly。

〃Are　you　worried　about　the　expense？　　Is　it　costing　you　too　much；　this　helping　father？　　Are　you　sorry　you　went　into　it？〃

He　was　silent。

〃You　are　sorry？〃　she　exclaimed。　　〃You　feel　that　you　are　wasting　your　money？〃

His　generosity　forbade　him　to　keep　up　the　pretense　that　might　aid　him　in　his　project。　　〃No；〃　he　said　hastily。　　〃No；　indeed。　　This　expenseit's　nothing。〃　He　flushed；　hung　his　head　in　shame　before　his　own　weakness；　as　he　added；　in　complete　surrender；　〃I'm　very　glad　to　be　helping　your　father。〃

〃I　knew　you　would　be！〃　she　cried　triumphantly。　〃I　knew　it！〃　　And　she　flung　her　arms　round　his　neck　and　kissed　him。

〃That's　better！〃　he　said　with　a　foolishly　delighted　laugh。　　〃I　believe　we　are　beginning　to　get　acquainted。〃

〃Yes；　indeed。　　I　feel　quite　different　already。〃

〃I　hoped　so。　　You　are　coming　to　your　senses？〃

〃Perhaps。　　Only〃　　She　laid　a　beautiful　white　pleading　hand　upon　his　shoulder　and　gazed　earnestly　into　his　eyes〃please　don't　frighten　me　with　that　talk　and　those　other　kisses。〃

He　looked　at　her　uncertainly。　　〃Come　round　in　your　own　way；〃　he　said　at　last。　　〃I　don't　want　to　hurry　you。　　I　suppose　every　bird　has　its　own　way　of　dropping　from　a　perch。〃

〃You　don't　like　my　way？〃　she　inquired。

It　was　said　archly　but　also　in　the　way　that　always　made　him　vaguely　uneasy；　made　him　feel　like　one　facing　a　mystery　which　should　be　explored　cautiously。　　〃It　is　graceful；〃　he　admitted；　with　a　smile　since　he　could　not　venture　to　frown。　　〃Gracefulbut　slow。〃

She　laughedand　he　could　not　but　feel　that　the　greater　laughter　in　her　too　innocent　eyes　was　directed　at　him。　　She　talked　of　other　thingsand　he　let　her　charmed；　yet　cursing　his　folly；　his　slavery；　the　while。


X

MANY　a　time　he　had　pitied　a　woman　for　letting　him　get　away　from　her；　when　she　obviously　wished　to　hold　him　and　failed　solely　because　she　did　not　understand　her　business。　　Like　every　other　man；　he　no　sooner　began　to　be　attracted　by　a　woman　than　he　began　to　invest　her　with　a　mystery　and　awe　which　she　either　could　dissipate　by　forcing　him　to　see　the　truth　of　her　commonplaceness　or　could　increase　into　a　power　that　would　enslave　him　by　keeping　him　agitated　and　interested　and　ever　satisfied　yet　ever　baffled。　　But　no　woman　had　shown　this　supreme　skill　in　the　art　of　loveuntil　Dorothy　Hallowell。　　She　exasperated　him。　　She　fascinated　him。　She　kept　him　so　restless　that　his　professional　work　was　all　but　neglected。　　Was　it　her　skill？　　Was　it　her　folly？　Was　she　simply　leading　him　on　and　on；　guided　blindly　by　woman's　instinct　to　get　as　much　as　she　could　and　to　give　as　little　as　she　dared？　　Or　was　she　protected　by　a　real　indifference　to　himthe　strongest；　indeed　the　only　invulnerable　armor　a　woman　can　wear？　　Was　she　protecting　herself？　　Or　was　it　merely　that　he；　weakened　by　his　infatuation；　was　doing　the　protecting　for　her？

Beside　these　distracting　questions；　the　once　all…　important　matter　of　professional　and　worldly　ambition　seemed　not　worth　troubling　about。　　They　even　so　vexed　him　that　he　had　become　profoundly　indifferent　as　to　Josephine。　　He　saw　her　rarely。　　When　they　were　alone　he　either　talked　neutral　subjects　or　sat　almost　mute；　hardly　conscious　of　her　presence。　　He　received　her　efforts　at　the　customary　caressings　with　such　stolidity　that　she　soon　ceased　to　annoy　him。　　They　reduced　their　outward　show　of　affection　to　a　kiss　when　they　met；　another　when　they　separated。　　He　was　tiredalways　tired　worn　outhalf　sickharassed　by　business　concerns。　He　did　not　trouble　himself　about　whether　his　listless　excuses　would　be　accepted　or　not。　　He　did　not　care　what　she　thoughtor　might　thinkor　might　do。

Josephine　was　typical　of　the　women　of　the　comfortable　class。　　For　them　the　fundamentally　vital　matters　of　lifethe　profoundly　harassing　questions　of　food；　clothing；　and　shelterare　arranged　and　settled。　　What　is　there　left　to　occupy　their　minds？　　Little　but　the　idle　emotions　they　manufacture　and　spread　foglike　over　their　true　n