an unsocial socialist-第23章

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conduct　and　language　in　the　doctor's　presence。　There　was　a　brief
pause；　and　then　Trefusis；　too　far　out　of　sympathy　with　them　to　be
able　to　lead　the　conversation　into　a　kinder　vein；　left　the　room。
In　the　act　of　putting　on　his　overcoat　in　the　hall；　he　hesitated；
and　hung　it　up　again　irresolutely。　Suddenly　he　ran　upstairs。　At
the　sound　of　his　steps　a　woman　came　from　one　of　the　rooms　and
looked　inquiringly　at　him。

〃Is　it　here？〃　he　said。

〃Yes；　sir；〃　she　whispered。

A　painful　sense　of　constriction　came　in　his　chest；　and　he　turned
pale　and　stopped　with　his　hand　on　the　lock。

〃Don't　be　afraid；　sir；〃　said　the　woman；　with　an　encouraging
smile。　〃She　looks　beautiful。〃

He　looked　at　her　with　a　strange　grin；　as　if　she　had　uttered　a
ghastly　but　irresistible　joke。　Then　he　went　in；　and；　when　he
reached　the　bed；　wished　he　had　stayed　without。　He　was　not　one　of
those　who；　seeing　little　in　the　faces　of　the　living　miss　little
in　the　faces　of　the　dead。　The　arrangement　of　the　black　hair　on
the　pillow；　the　soft　drapery；　and　the　flowers　placed　there　by　the
nurse　to　complete　the　artistic　effect　to　which　she　had　so
confidently　referred；　were　lost　on　him；　he　saw　only　a　lifeless
mask　that　had　been　his　wife's　face；　and　at　sight　of　it　his　knees
failed；　and　he　had　to　lean　for　support　on　the　rail　at　the　foot　of
the　bed。

When　he　looked　again　the　face　seemed　to　have　changed。　It　was　no
longer　a　waxlike　mask；　but　Henrietta；　girlish　and　pathetically　at
rest。　Death　seemed　to　have　cancelled　her　marriage　and　womanhood；
he　had　never　seen　her　look　so　young。　A　minute　passed；　and　then　a
tear　dropped　on　the　coverlet。　He　started；　shook　another　tear　on
his　hand；　and　stared　at　it　incredulously。

〃This　is　a　fraud　of　which　I　have　never　even　dreamed；〃　he　said。
〃Tears　and　no　sorrow！　Here　am　I　crying！　growing　maudlin！　whilst　I
am　glad　that　she　is　gone　and　I　free。　I　have　the　mechanism　of
grief　in　me　somewhere；　it　begins　to　turn　at　sight　of　her　though　I
have　no　sorrow；　just　as　she　used　to　start　the　mechanism　of
passion　when　I　had　no　love。　And　that　made　no　difference　to　her；
whilst　the　wheels　went　round　she　was　satisfied。　I　hope　the
mechanism　of　grief　will　flag　and　stop　in　its　spinning　as　soon　as
the　other　used　to。　It　is　stopping　already；　I　think。　What　a
mockery！　Whilst　it　lasts　I　suppose　I　am　really　sorry。　And　yet；
would　I　restore　her　to　life　if　I　could？　Perhaps　so；　I　am
therefore　thankful　that　I　cannot。〃　He　folded　his　arms　on　the　rail
and　gravely　addressed　the　dead　figure；　which　still　affected　him
so　strongly　that　he　had　to　exert　his　will　to　face　it　with
composure。　〃If　you　really　loved　me；　it　is　well　for　you　that　you
are　deadidiot　that　I　was　to　believe　that　the　passion　you　could
inspire；　you　poor　child；　would　last。　We　are　both　lucky；　I　have
escaped　from　you；　and　you　have　escaped　from　yourself。〃

Presently　he　breathed　more　freely　and　looked　round　the　room　to
help　himself　into　a　matter…of…fact　vein　by　a　little　unembarrassed
action；　and　the　commonplace　aspect　of　the　bedroom　furniture。　He
went　to　the　pillow；　and　bent　over　it；　examining　the　face　closely。

〃Poor　child！〃　he　said　again；　tenderly。　Then；　with　sudden
reaction；　apostrophizing　himself　instead　of　his　wife；　〃Poor　ass！
Poor　idiot！　Poor　jackanapes！　Here　is　the　body　of　a　woman　who　was
nearly　as　old　as　myself；　and　perhaps　wiser；　and　here　am　I
moralizing　over　it　as　if　I　were　God　Almighty　and　she　a　baby！　The
more　you　remind　a　man　of　what　he　is；　the　more　conceited　he
becomes。　Monstrous！　I　shall　feel　immortal　presently。〃

He　touched　the　cheek　with　a　faint　attempt　at　roughness；　to　feel
how　cold　it　was。　Then　he　touched　his　own；　and　remarked：

〃This　is　what　I　am　hastening　toward　at　the　express　speed　of　sixty
minutes　an　hour！〃　He　stood　looking　down　at　the　face　and　tasting
this　sombre　reflection　for　a　long　time。　When　it　palled　on　him；　he
roused　himself；　and　exclaimed　more　cheerfully：

〃After　all；　she　is　not　dead。　Every　word　she　utteredevery　idea
she　formed　and　expressed；　was　an　inexhaustible　and　indestructible
impulse。〃　He　paused；　considered　a　little　further；　and　relapsed
into　gloom；　adding；　〃and　the　dozen　others　whose　names　will　be
with　hers　in　the　'Times'　to…morrow？　Their　words　too　are　still　in
the　air；　to　endure　there　to　all　eternity。　Hm！　How　the　air　must　be
crammed　with　nonsense！　Two　sounds　sometimes　produce　a　silence；
perhaps　ideas　neutralize　one　another　in　some　analogous　way。　No；
my　dear；　you　are　dead　and　gone　and　done　with；　and　I　shall　be　dead
and　gone　and　done　with　too　soon　to　leave　me　leisure　to　fool
myself　with　hopes　of　immortality。　Poor　Hetty！　Well；　good…by；　my
darling。　Let　us　pretend　for　a　moment　that　you　can　hear　that；　I
know　it　will　please　you。〃

All　this　was　in　a　half…articulate　whisper。　When　he　ceased　he
still　bent　over　the　body；　gazing　intently　at　it。　Even　when　he　had
exhausted　the　subject；　and　turned　to　go；　he　changed　his　mind；　and
looked　again　for　a　while。　Then　he　stood　erect；　apparently　nerved
and　refreshed；　and　left　the　room　with　a　firm　step。　The　woman　was
waiting　outside。　Seeing　that　he　was　less　distressed　than　when　he
entered；　she　said：

〃I　hope　you　are　satisfied；　sir！〃

〃Delighted！　Charmed！　The　arrangements　are　extremely　pretty　and
tasteful。　Most　consolatory。〃　And　he　gave　her　half　a　sovereign。

〃I　thank　you；　sir；〃　she　said；　dropping　a　curtsey。　〃The　poor　young
lady！　She　was　anxious　to　see　you；　sir。　To　hear　her　say　that　you
were　the　only　one　that　cared　for　her！　And　so　fretful　with　her
mother；　too。　'Let　him　be　told　that　I　am　dangerously　ill；'　says
she；　'and　he'll　come。'　She　didn't　know　how　true　her　word　was；
poor　thing；　and　she　went　off　without　being　aware　of　it。〃

〃Flattering　herself　and　flattering　me。　Happy　girl！〃

〃Bless　you；　I　know　what　her　feelings　were；　sir；　I　have　had
experience。〃　Here　she　approached　him　confidentially；　and
whispered：　〃The　family　were　again'　you；　sir；　and　she　knew　it。　But
she　wouldn't　listen　to　them。　She　thought　of　nothing；　when　she　was
easy　enough　to　think　at　all；　but　of　your　coming。　Andhush！
Here's　the　old　gentleman。〃

Trefusis　looked　round　and　saw　Mr。　Jansenius；　whose　handsome　face
was　white　and　seamed　with　grief　and　annoyance。　He　drew　back　from
the　proffered　hand　of　his　son…in…law；　like　an　overworried　child
from　an　ill…timed　attempt　to　pet　it。　Trefusis　pitied　him。　The
nurse　coughed　and　retired。

〃Have　you　been　speaking　to　Mrs。　Jansenius？〃　said　Trefusis。

〃Yes；〃　said　Jansenius　offensively。

〃So　have　I；　unfortunately。　Pray　make　my　apologies　to　her。　I　was
rude。　The　circumstances　upset　me。〃

〃You　are　not　upset；　sir；〃　said　Jansenius　loudly。　〃You　do　not　care
a　damn。〃

Trefusis　recoiled。

〃You　damned　my　feelings；　and　I　will　damn　yours；〃　continued
Jansenius　in　the　same　tone。　Trefusis　involuntarily　looked　at　the
door　through　which　he　had　lately　passed。　Then；　recovering
himself；　he　said　quietly：

〃It　does　not　matter。　She　can't　hear　us。〃

Before　Jansenius　could　reply　his　wife　hurried　upstairs；　caught
him　by　the　arm；　and　said；　〃Don't　speak　to　him；　John。　And　you；〃
she　added；　to　Trefusis；　〃WILL　you　begone？〃

〃What！〃　he　said；　looking　cynically　at　her。　〃Without　my　dead！
Without　my　property！　Well；　be　it　so。〃

〃What　do　you　know　of　the　feelings　of　a　respectable　man？〃
persisted　Jansenius；　breaking　out　again　in　spite　of　his　wife。
〃Nothing　is　sacred　to　you。　This　shows　what　Socialists　are！〃

〃And　what　fathers　are；　and　what　mothers　are；〃　retorted　Trefusis；
giving　way　to　his　temper。　〃I　thought　you　loved　Hetty；　but　I　see
that　you　only　love　your　feelings　and　your　respectability。　The
devil　take　both！　She　was　right；　my　love　for　her；　incomplete　as　it
was；　was　greater　than　yours。〃　And　he　left　the　house　in　dudgeon。

But　he　stood　awhile　in　the　avenue　to　laugh　at　himself　and　his
father…in…law。　Then　he　took　a　hansom　and　was　driven　to　the　house
of　his　solicitor；　whom　he　wished　to　consult　on　the　settlement　of
his　late　wife's　affairs。



CHAPTER　X

The　remains　of　Henrietta　Trefusis　were　interred　in　Highgate
Cemetery　the　day　before　Christmas　Eve。　Three　noblemen　sent　their
carriages　to　the　funeral；　and　the　friends　and　clients　of　Mr。
Jansenius；　to　a　large　number；　attended　in　person。　The　bier　was
covered　with　a　profusion　of　costly　Bowers。　The　undertaker；
instructed　to　spare　no　expense；　provided　long…tailed　black
horses；　with　black　palls　on　their　backs　and　black　plumes　upon
their　foreheads；　coachmen　decorated　with　scarves　and　jack…boots；
black　hammercloths；　cloaks；　and　gloves；　with　many　hired　mourners；
who；　however；　would　have　been　instantly　discharged　had　they
presumed　to　betray　emotion；　or　in　any　way　overstep　their　function
of　walking　beside　the　hearse　with　brass…tipped　batons　in　their
hands。

Among　the　genuine　mourners　were　Mr。　Jansenius；　who　burst　into
tears　at　the　ceremony　of　casting　earth　on　the　coffin；　the　boy
Arthur；　who；　preoccupied　by　the　novelty　of　appearing　in　a　long
cloak　at　the　head　of　a　public　procession；　felt　that　he　was　not　so
sorry　as　he　ought　to　be　when　he　saw　his　papa　cry；　and　a　cousin
who　had　once　asked　Henrietta　to　marry　him；　and　who　now；　full　of
tragic　reflections；　was　enjoying　his　despair　intensely。

The　rest　whispered；　whenever　they　could　decently　do　so；　about　a
strange　omission　in　the　arrangements。　The　husband　of　the　deceased
was　absent。　Members　of　the　family　and　intimate　friends　were　told
by　Daniel　Jansenius　that　the　widower　had　acted　in　a　blackguard
way；　and　that　the　Janseniuses　did　not　care　two…pence　whether　he
came　or　stayed　at　home；　that；　but　for　the　indecency　of　the　thing；
they　were　just　as　glad　that　he　was　keeping　away。　Others；　who　had
no　claim　to　be　privately　informed；　made　inquiries　of　the
undertaker's　foreman；　who　said　he　understood　the　gentleman
objected　to　large　funerals。　Asked　why；　he　said　he　supposed　it　was
on　the　ground　of　expense。　This　being　met　by　a　remark　that　Mr。
Trefusis　was　very　wealthy；　he　added　that　he　had　been　told　so；　but
believed　the　money　had　not　come　from　the　lady；　that　people　seldom
cared　to　go　to　a　great　expense　for　a　funeral　unless　they　came
into　something　good　by　the　death；　and　that　some　parties　the　more
they　had　the　more　they　grudged。　Before　the　funeral　guests
dispersed；　the　report　spread　by　Mr。　Jansenius's　brother　had　got
mixed　with　the　views　of　the　foreman；　and　had　given　rise　to　a
story　of　Trefusis　expressing　joy　at　his　wife's　death　with
frightful　oaths　in　her　father's　house　whilst　she　lay　dead　there；
and　refusing　to　pay　a　farthing　of　her　debts　or　funeral　expenses。

Some　days　later；　when　gossip　on　the　subject　was　subsiding；　a
fresh　scandal　revived　it。　A　literary　friend　of　Mr。　Jansenius's
helped　him　to　compose　an　epitaph；　and　added　to　it　a　couple　of
pretty　and　touching　stanzas；　setting　forth　that　Henrietta's
character　had　been　one　of　rare　sweetness　and　virtue；　and　that　her
friends　would　never　cease　to　sorrow　for　her　loss。　A　tradesman　who
described　himself　as　a　〃monumental　mason〃　furnished　a　book　of
tomb　designs；　and　Mr。　Jansenius　selected　a　highly　ornamental　one；
and　proposed　to　defray　half　the　cost　of　its　erection。　Trefusis
objected　that　the　epitaph　was　untrue；　and　said　that　he　did　not
see　why　tombstones　should　be　privileged　to　publish　false
statements。　It　was　reported　that　he　had　followed　up　his　former
misconduct　by　calling　his　father…in…law　a　liar；　and　that　he　had
ord