an unsocial socialist-第11章

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with　his　head　bowed　and　his　countenance　averted　from　Mr。
Jansenius；　who；　attempting　to　scrutinize　his　features；　could　see
nothing　but　a　patch　of　red　handkerchief。

One　of　the　policemen　described　how　they　had　found　Smilash　in　the
act　of　entering　his　dwelling；　how　he　had　refused　to　give　any
information　or　to　go　to　the　college；　and　had　defied　them　to　take
him　there　against　his　will；　and　how；　on　their　at　last　proposing
to　send　for　the　inspector　and　Mr。　Jansenius；　he　had　called　them
asses；　and　consented　to　accompany　them。　The　policeman　concluded
by　declaring　that　the　man　was　either　drunk　or　designing；　as　he
could　not　or　would　not　speak　sensibly。

〃Look　here；　governor；〃　began　Smilash　to　the　inspector；　〃I　am　a
common　manno　commoner　goin'；　as　you　may　see　for〃

〃That's　'im；〃　cried　Wickens's　boy；　suddenly　struck　with　a　sense
of　his　own　importance　as　a　witness。　〃That's　'im　that　the　lady
kissed；　and　that　gev　me　tuppence　and　threatened　to　drownd　me。〃

〃And　with　a　'umble　and　contrite　'art　do　I　regret　that　I　did　not
drownd　you；　you　young　rascal；〃　said　Smilash。　〃It　ain't　manners　to
interrupt　a　man　who；　though　common；　might　be　your　father　for
years　and　wisdom。〃

〃Hold　your　tongue；〃　said　the　inspector　to　the　boy。　〃Now；　Smilash；
do　you　wish　to　make　any　statement？　Be　careful；　for　whatever　you
say　may　be　used　against　you　hereafter。〃

〃If　you　was　to　lead　me　straight　away　to　the　scaffold；　colonel；　I
could　tell　you　no　more　than　the　truth。　If　any　man　can　say　that　he
has　heard　Jeff　Smilash　tell　a　lie；　let　him　stand　forth。〃

〃We　don't　want　to　hear　about　that；〃　said　the　inspector。　〃As　you
are　a　stranger　in　these　parts；　nobody　here　knows　any　bad　of　you。
No　more　do　they　know　any　good　of　you　neither。〃

〃Colonel；〃　said　Smilash；　deeply　impressed；　〃you　have　a
penetrating　mind；　and　you　know　a　bad　character　at　sight。　Not　to
deceive　you；　I　am　that　given　to　lying；　and　laziness；　and
self…indulgence　of　all　sorts；　that　the　only　excuse　I　can　find　for
myself　is　that　it　is　the　nature　of　the　race　so　to　be；　for　most
men　is　just　as　bad　as　me；　and　some　of　'em　worsen　I　do　not　speak
pers'nal　to　you；　governor；　nor　to　the　honorable　gentlemen　here
assembled。　But　then　you；　colonel；　are　a　hinspector　of　police；
which　I　take　to　be　more　than　merely　human；　and　as　to　the
gentlemen　here；　a　gentleman　ain't　a　manleastways　not　a　common
manthe　common　man　bein'　but　the　slave　wot　feeds　and　clothes　the
gentleman　beyond　the　common。〃

〃Come；〃　said　the　inspector；　unable　to　follow　these　observations；
〃you　are　a　clever　dodger；　but　you　can't　dodge　me。　Have　you　any
statement　to　make　with　reference　to　the　lady　that　was　last　seen
in　your　company？〃

〃Take　a　statement　about　a　lady！〃　said　Smilash　indignantly。　〃Far
be　the　thought　from　my　mind！〃

〃What　have　you　done　with　her？〃　said　Agatha；　impetuously。　〃Don't
be　silly。〃

〃You're　not　bound　to　answer　that；　you　know；〃　said　the　inspector；
a　little　put　out　by　Agatha's　taking　advantage　of　her
irresponsible　unofficial　position　to　come　so　directly　to　the
point。　〃You　may　if　you　like；　though。　If　you've　done　any　harm；
you'd　better　hold　your　tongue。　If　not；　you'd　better　say　so。〃

〃I　will　set　the　young　lady's　mind　at　rest　respecting　her
honorable　sister；〃　said　Smilash。　〃When　the　young　lady　caught
sight　of　me　she　fainted。　Bein'　but　a　young　man；　and　not　used　to
ladies；　I　will　not　deny　but　that　I　were　a　bit　scared；　and　that　my
mind　were　not　open　to　the　sensiblest　considerations。　When　she
unveils　her　orbs；　so　to　speak；　she　ketches　me　round　the　neck；　not
knowin'　me　from　Adam　the　father　of　us　all；　and　sez；　'Bring　me
some　water；　and　don't　let　the　girls　see　me。'　Through　not　'avin'
the　intelligence　to　think　for　myself；　I　done　just　what　she　told
me。　I　ups　with　her　in　my　armsshe　bein'　a　light　weight　and　a
slender　figureand　makes　for　the　canal　as　fast　as　I　could。　When
I　got　there；　I　lays　her　on　the　bank　and　goes　for　the　water。　But
what　with　factories；　and　pollutions；　and　high　civilizations　of
one　sort　and　another；　English　canal　water　ain't　fit　to　sprinkle
on　a　lady；　much　less　for　her　to　drink。　Just　then；　as　luck　would
have　it；　a　barge　came　along　and　took　her　aboard；　and〃

〃To　such　a　thing；〃　said　Wickens's　boy　stubbornly；　emboldened　by
witnessing　the　effrontery　of　one　apparently　of　his　own　class。　〃I
sor　you　two　standin'　together；　and　her　a　kissin'　of　you。　There
worn's　no　barge。〃

〃Is　the　maiden　modesty　of　a　born　lady　to　be　disbelieved　on　the
word　of　a　common　boy　that　only　walks　the　earth　by　the　sufferance
of　the　landlords　and　moneylords　he　helps　to　feed？〃　cried　Smilash
indignantly。　〃Why；　you　young　infidel；　a　lady　ain't　made　of　common
brick　like　you。　She　don't　know　what　a　kiss　means；　and　if　she　did；
is　it　likely　that　she'd　kiss　me　when　a　fine　man　like　the
inspector　here　would　be　only　too　happy　to　oblige　her。　Fie；　for
shame！　The　barge　were　red　and　yellow；　with　a　green　dragon　for　a
figurehead；　and　a　white　horse　towin'　of　it。　Perhaps　you're
color…blind；　and　can't　distinguish　red　and　yellow。　The　bargee　was
moved　to　compassion　by　the　sight　of　the　poor　faintin'　lady；　and
the　offer　of　'arf…a…crown；　and　he　had　a　mother　that　acted　as　a
mother　should。　There　was　a　cabin　in　that　barge　about　as　big　as
the　locker　where　your　ladyship　keeps　your　jam　and　pickles；　and　in
that　locker　the　bargee　lives；　quite　domestic；　with　his　wife　and
mother　and　five　children。　Them　canal　boats　is　what　you　may　call
the　wooden　walls　of　England。〃

〃Come；　get　on　with　your　story；〃　said　the　inspector。　〃We　know　what
barges　is　as　well　as　you。〃

〃I　wish　more　knew　of　'em；〃　retorted　Smilash；　〃perhaps　it　'ud
lighten　your　work　a　bit。　However；　as　I　was　sayin'；　we　went　right
down　the　canal　to　Lyvern；　where　we　got　off；　and　the　lady　she　took
the　railway　omnibus　and　went　away　in　it。　With　the　noble
openhandedness　of　her　class；　she　gave　me　sixpence；　here　it　is；　in
proof　that　my　words　is　true。　And　I　wish　her　safe　home；　and　if　I
was　on　the　rack　I　could　tell　no　more；　except　that　when　I　got　back
I　were　laid　hands　on　by　these　here　bobbies；　contrary　to　the
British　constitooshun；　and　if　your　ladyship　will　kindly　go　to
where　that　constitooshun　is　wrote　down；　and　find　out　wot　it　sez
about　my　rights　and　libertiesfor　I　have　been　told　that　the
working…man　has　his　liberties；　and　have　myself　seen　plenty　took
with　him　you　will　oblige　a　common　chap　more　than　his　education
will　enable　him　to　express。〃

〃Sir；〃　cried　Mr。　Jansenius　suddenly；　〃will　you　hold　up　your　head
and　look　me　in　the　face？〃

Smilash　did　so；　and　immediately　started　theatrically；　exclaiming；
〃Whom　do　I　see？〃

〃You　would　hardly　believe　it；〃　he　continued；　addressing　the
company　at　large；　〃but　I　am　well　beknown　to　this　honorable
gentleman。　I　see　it　upon　your　lips；　governor；　to　ask　after　my
missus；　and　I　thank　you　for　your　condescending　interest。　She　is
well；　sir；　and　my　residence　here　is　fully　agreed　upon　between　us。
What　little　cloud　may　have　rose　upon　our　domestic　horizon　has
past　away；　and；　governor〃…here　Smilash's　voice　fell　with　graver
emphasis〃them　as　interferes　betwixt　man　and　wife　now　will　incur
a　nevvy　responsibility。　Here　I　am；　such　as　you　see　me；　and　here　I
mean　to　stay；　likewise　such　as　you　see　me。　That　is；　if　what　you
may　call　destiny　permits。　For　destiny　is　a　rum　thing；　governor。　I
came　here　thinking　it　was　the　last　place　in　the　world　I　should
ever　set　eyes　on　you　in；　and　blow　me　if　you　ain't　a'most　the
first　person　I　pops　on。〃

〃I　do　not　choose　to　be　a　party　to　this　mummery　of〃

〃Asking　your　leave　to　take　the　word　out　of　your　mouth；　governor；
I　make　you　a　party　to　nothink。　Respecting　my　past　conduct；　you
may　out　with　it　or　you　may　keep　it　to　yourself。　All　I　say　is　that
if　you　out　with　some　of　it　I　will　out　with　the　rest。　All　or　none。
You　are　free　to　tell　the　inspector　here　that　I　am　a　bad　'un。　His
penetrating　mind　have　discovered　that　already。　But　if　you　go　into
names　and　particulars；　you　will　not　only　be　acting　against　the
wishes　of　my　missus；　but　you　will　lead　to　my　tellin'　the　whole
story　right　out　afore　everyone　here；　and　then　goin'　away　where　no
one　won't　never　find　me。〃

〃I　think　the　less　said　the　better；〃　said　Mrs。　Jansenius；　uneasily
observant　of　the　curiosity　and　surprise　this　dialogue　was
causing。　〃But　understand　this；　Mr。〃

〃Smilash；　dear　lady；　Jeff　Smilash。〃

〃Mr。　Smilash；　whatever　arrangement　you　may　have　made　with　your
wife；　it　has　nothing　to　do　with　me。　You　have　behaved　infamously；
and　I　desire　to　have　as　little　as　possible　to　say　to　you　in
future！　I　desire　to　have　nothing　to　say　to　younothing〃　said　Mr。
Jansenius。　〃I　look　on　your　conduct　as　an　insult　to　me；
personally。　You　may　live　in　any　fashion　you　please；　and　where　you
please。　All　England　is　open　to　you　except　one　placemy　house。
Come；　Ruth。〃　He　offered　his　arm　to　his　wife；　she　took　it；　and
they　turned　away；　looking　about　for　Agatha；　who；　disgusted　at　the
gaping　curiosity　of　the　rest；　had　pointedly　withdrawn　beyond
earshot　of　the　conversation。

Miss　Wilson　looked　from　Smilashwho　had　watched　Mr。　Jansenius's
explosion　of　wrath　with　friendly　interest；　as　if　it　concerned　him
as　a　curious　spectator　onlyto　her　two　visitors　as　they
retreated。　〃Pray；　do　you　consider　this　man's　statement
satisfactory？〃　she　said　to　them。　〃I　do　not。〃

〃I　am　far　too　common　a　man　to　be　able　to　make　any　statement　that
could　satisfy　a　mind　cultivated　as　yours　has　been；〃　said　Smilash；
〃but　I　would　'umbly　pint　out　to　you　that　there　is　a　boy　yonder
with　a　telegram　trying　to　shove　hisself　through　the　'iborn
throng。〃

〃Miss　Wilson！〃　cried　the　boy　shrilly。

She　took　the　telegram；　read　it；　and　frowned。　〃We　have　had　all　our
trouble　for　nothing；　ladies　and　gentlemen；〃　she　said；　with
suppressed　vexation。　〃Mrs。　Trefusis　says　here　that　she　has　gone
back　to　London。　She　has　not　considered　it　necessary　to　add　any
explanation。〃

There　was　a　general　murmur　of　disappointment。　

〃Don't　lose　heart；　ladies；〃　said　Smilash。　〃She　may　be　drowned　or
murdered　for　all　we　know。　Anyone　may　send　a　telegram　in　a　false
name。　Perhaps　it's　a　plant。　Let's　hope　for　your　sakes　that　some
little　accidenton　the　railway；　for　instancemay　happen　yet。〃

Miss　Wilson　turned　upon　him；　glad　to　find　someone　with　whom　she
might　justly　be　angry。　〃You　had　better　go　about　your　business；〃
she　said。　〃And　don't　let　me　see　you　here　again。〃

〃This　is　'ard；〃　said　Smilash　plaintively。　〃My　intentions　was
nothing　but　good。　But　I　know　wot　it　is。　It's　that　young　varmint
a…saying　that　the　young　lady　kissed　me。〃

〃Inspector；〃　said　Miss　Wilson；　〃will　you　oblige　me　by　seeing　that
he　leaves　the　college　as　soon　as　possible？〃

〃Where's　my　wages？〃　he　retorted　reproachfully。　〃Where's　my　lawful
wages？　I　am　su'prised　at　a　lady　like　you；　chock　full　o'　moral
science　and　political　economy；　wanting　to　put　a　poor　man　off。
Where's　your　wages　fund？　Where's　your　remuneratory　capital？〃

〃Don't　you　give　him　anything；　ma'am；〃　said　the　inspector。　〃The
money　he's　had　from　the　lady　will　pay　him　very　well。　Move　on
here；　or　we'll　precious　soon　hurry　you。〃

〃Very　well；〃　grumbled　Smilash。　〃I　bargained　for　ninepence；　and
what　with　the　roller；　and　opening　the　soda　water；　and　shoving
them　heavy　tables　about；　there　was　a　decomposition　of　tissue　in
me　to　the　tune　of　two　shillings。　But　all　I　ask　is　the　ninepence；
and　let　the　lady　keep　t