lavender and old lace-第14章

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〃Yes'm。　'Twill　so。　Your　writin'　ain't　nothin'　like　Joe's；〃　she　continued；　scanning　it　closely；　〃but　it's　real　pretty。〃　Then　a　bright　idea　illuminated　her　countenance。　〃Miss　Thorne；　if　you'll　write　it　out　on　the　note　paper　with　a　pencil；　I　can　go　over　it　with　the　ink；　and　afterward；　when　it's　dry；　I'll　rub　out　the　pencil。　It'll　be　my　writin'　then；　but　it'll　look　jest　like　yours。〃

〃All　right；　Hepsey。〃

She　found　it　difficult　to　follow　the　lines　closely；　but　at　length　achieved　a　respectable　result。　〃I'll　take　good　care　of　it；〃　Hepsey　said；　wrapping　the　precious　missive　in　a　newspaper；　〃and　this　afternoon；　when　I　get　my　work　done　up；　I'll　fix　it。　Joe'll　be　surprised；　won't　he？〃

Late　in　the　evening；　when　Hepsey　came　to　Ruth；　worn　with　the　unaccustomed　labours　of　correspondence；　and　proudly　displayed　the　nondescript　epistle；　she　was　compelled　to　admit　that　unless　Joe　had　superhuman　qualities　he　would　indeed　〃be　surprised。〃


The　next　afternoon　Ruth　went　down　to　Miss　Ainslie's。　〃You've　been　neglecting　me；　dear；〃　said　that　gentle　soul；　as　she　opened　the　door。

〃I　haven't　meant　to；〃　returned　Ruth；　conscience…stricken；　as　she　remembered　how　long　it　had　been　since　the　gate　of　the　old…　fashioned　garden　had　swung　on　its　hinges　for　her。

A　quiet　happiness　had　settled　down　upon　Ruth　and　the　old　perturbed　spirit　was　gone；　but　Miss　Ainslie　was　subtly　different。　〃I　feel　as　if　something　was　going　to　happen；〃　she　said。

〃Something　nice？〃

〃Idon't　know。〃　The　sweet　face　was　troubled　and　there　were　fine　lines　about　the　mouth；　such　as　Ruth　had　never　seen　there　before。

〃You're　nervous；　Miss　Ainslieit's　my　turn　to　scold　now。〃

〃I　never　scolded　you；　did　I　deary？〃

〃You　couldn't　scold　anybodyyou're　too　sweet。　You're　not　unhappy；　are　you；　Miss　Ainslie？〃

〃I？　Why；　no！　Why　should　I　be　unhappy？〃　Her　deep　eyes　were　fixed　upon　Ruth。

〃II　didn't　know；〃　Ruth　answered；　in　confusion。

〃I　learned　long　ago；〃　said　Miss　Ainslie；　after　a　little；　〃that　we　may　be　happy　or　not；　just　as　we　choose。　Happiness　is　not　a　circumstance；　nor　a　set　of　circumstances；　it's　only　a　light；　and　we　may　keep　it　burning　if　we　will。　So　many　of　us　are　like　children；　crying　for　the　moon；　instead　of　playing　contentedly　with　the　few　toys　we　have。　We're　always　hoping　for　something；　and　when　it　does　n't　come　we　fret　and　worry　；　when　it　does；　why　there's　always　something　else　we'd　rather　have。　We　deliberately　make　nearly　all　of　our　unhappiness；　with　our　own　unreasonable　discontent；　and　nothing　will　ever　make　us　happy；　deary；　except　the　spirit　within。〃

〃But；　Miss　Ainslie；〃　Ruth　objected；　〃do　you　really　think　everybody　can　be　happy？〃

〃Of　courseeverybody　who　wishes　to　be。　Some　people　are　happier　when　they're　miserable。　I　don't　mean；　deary；　that　it's　easy　for　any　of　us；　and　it's　harder　for　some　than　for　others；　all　because　we　never。　grow　up。　We're　always　childrenour　playthings　are　a　little　different；　that's　all。〃

〃'Owning　ourselves　forever　children；'　quoted　Ruth；　〃'gathering　pebbles　on　a　boundless　shore。'〃

〃Yes；　I　was　just　thinking　of　that。　A　little　girl　breaks　her　doll；　and　though　the　new　one　may　be　much　prettier；　it　never　wholly　fills　the　vacant　place；　and　it's　that　way　with　a　woman's　dream。〃　The　sweet　voice　sank　into　a　whisper；　followed　by　a　lingering　sigh。

〃Miss　Ainslie；〃　said　Ruth；　after　a　pause；　〃did　you　know　my　mother？〃

〃No；　I　didn't；　dearyI'm　sorry。　I　saw　her　once　or　twice；　but　she　went　away；　soon　after　we　came　here。〃

〃Never　mind；〃　Ruth　said；　hurriedly；　for　Mrs。　Thorne's　family　had　never　forgiven　her　runaway　marriage。

〃Come　into　the　garden；〃　Miss　Ainslie　suggested；　and　Ruth　followed　her；　willingly；　into　the　cloistered　spot　where　golden　lilies　tinkled；　thrushes　sang；　and　every　leaf　breathed　peace。

Miss　Ainslie　gathered　a　bit　of　rosemary；　crushing　it　between　her　white　fingers。　〃See；〃　she　said；　〃some　of　us　are　like　that　it　takes　a　blow　to　find　the　sweetness　in　our　souls。　Some　of　us　need　dry；　hard　places；　like　the　poppies　〃pointing　to　a　mass　of　brilliant　bloom〃and　some　of　us　are　always　thorny；　like　the　cactus；　with　only　once　in　a　while　a　rosy　star。

〃I've　always　thought　my　flowers　had　souls；　dear；〃　she　went　on；　〃they　seem　like　real　people　to　me。　I've　seen　the　roses　rubbing　their　cheeks　together　as　if　they　loved　each　other；　and　the　forget…me…nots　are　little　blue…eyed　children；　half　afraid　of　the　rest。

〃Over　there；　it　always　seems　to　me　as　if　the　lavender　was　a　little　woman　in　a　green　dress；　with　a　lavender　bonnet　and　a　white　kerchief。　She's　one　of　those　strong；　sweet；　wholesome　people；　who　always　rest　you；　and　her　sweetness　lingers　long　after　she　goes　away。　I　gather　all　the　flowers；　and　every　leaf；　though　the　flowers　are　sweetest。　I　put　the　leaves　away　with　my　linen　and　the　flowers　among　my　laces。　I　have　some　beautiful　lace；　deary。〃

〃I　know　you　haveI've　often　admired　it。〃

〃I'm　going　to　show　it　to　you　some　day；〃　she　said；　with　a　little　quiver　in　her　voice；　〃and　some　other　day；　when　I　can't　wear　it　any　more；　you　shall　have　some　of　it　for　your　own。〃

〃Don't；　Miss　Ainslie；〃　cried　Ruth；　the　quick　tears　coming　to　her　eyes；　〃I　don't　want　any　laceI　want　you！〃

〃I　know；〃　she　answered；　but　there　was　a　far…away　look　in　her　eyes；　and　something　in　her　voice　that　sounded　like　a　farewell。

〃Miss　Thorne；〃　called　Joe　from　the　gate；　〃here's　a　package　for　yer。　It　come　on　the　train。〃

He　waited　until　Ruth　went　to　him　and　seemed　disappointed　when　she　turned　back　into　the　garden。　〃Say；〃　he　shouted；　〃is　Hepsey　to　home？〃

Ruth　was　busy　with　the　string　and　did　not　hear。　〃Oh；　look！〃　she　exclaimed；　〃what　roses！〃

〃They're　beautiful；　deary。　I　do　not　think　I　have　ever　seen　such　large　ones。　Do　you　know　what　they　are？〃

〃American　Beautiesthey're　from　Mr。　Winfield。　He　knows　I　love　them。〃

Miss　Ainslie　started　violently。　〃From　whom；　dear？〃　she　asked；　in　a　strange　tone。

〃Mr。　Winfieldhe's　going　to　be　on　the　same　paper　with　me　in　the　Fall。　He's　here　for　the　Summer；　on　account　of　his　eyes。〃

Miss　Ainslie　was　bending　over　the　lavender。

〃It　is　a　very　common　name；　is　it　not？〃　she　asked。

〃Yes；　quite　common；〃　answered　Ruth；　absently；　taking　the　roses　out　of　the　box。

〃You　must　bring　him　to　see　me　some　time；　dear；　I　should　like　to　know　him。〃

〃Thank　you；　Miss　Ainslie；　I　will。〃

They　stood　at　the　gate　together；　and　Ruth　put　a　half　blown　rose　into　her　hand。　〃I　wouldn't　give　it　to　anybody　but　you；〃　she　said；　half　playfully；　and　then　Miss　Ainslie　knew　her　secret。　She　put　her　hand　on　Ruth's　arm　and　looked　down　into　her　face；　as　if　there　was　something　she　must　say。

〃I　don't　forget　the　light；　Miss　Ainslie。〃

〃I　know；〃　she　breathed；　in　answer。　She　looked　long　and　searchingly　into　Ruth's　eyes；　then　whispered　brokenly；　〃God　bless　you；　dear。　Good　bye！〃



XI。　The　Rose　of　all　the　World

〃He　didn't　forget　me！　He　didn't　forget　me！〃　Ruth's　heart　sang　in　time　with　her　step　as　she　went　home。　Late　afternoon　flooded　all　the　earth　with　gold；　and　from　the　other　side　of　the　hill　came　the　gentle　music　of　the　sea。

The　doors　were　open；　but　there　was　no　trace　of　Hepsey。　She　put　the　roses　in　her　water　pitcher；　and　locked　her　door　upon　them　as　one　hides　a　sacred　joy。　She　went　out　again；　her　heart　swelling　like　the　throat　of　a　singing　bird；　and　walked　to　the　brow　of　the　cliff；　with　every　sense　keenly　alive。　Upon　the　surface　of　the　ocean　lay　that　deep；　translucent　blue　which　only　Tadema　has　dared　to　paint。

〃I　must　go　down；〃　she　murmured。

Like　a　tawny　ribbon　trailed　upon　the　green；　the　road　wound　down　the　hill。　She　followed　it　until　she　reached　the　side　path　on　the　right；　and　went　down　into　the　woods。　The　great　boughs　arched　over　her　head　like　the　nave　of　a　cathedral；　and　the　Little　People　of　the　Forest；　in　feathers　and　fur；　scattered　as　she　approached。　Bright　eyes　peeped　at　her　from　behind　tree　trunks；　or　the　safe　shelter　of　branches；　and　rippling　bird　music　ended　in　a　frightened　chirp；

〃Oh；〃　she　said　aloud；　〃don't　be　afraid！〃

Was　this　love；　she　wondered；　that　lay　upon　her　eyes　like　the　dew　of　a　Spring　morning；　that　made　the　air　vocal　with　rapturous　song；　and　wrought　white　magic　in　her　soul？　It　had　all　the　mystery　ind　freshness　of　the　world's　beginning；　it　was　the　rush　of　waters　where　sea　and　river　meet；　the　perfume　of　a　flower；　and　the　far　light　trembling　from　a　star。　It　was　sunrise　where　there　had　been　no　day；　the　ecstasy　of　a　thousand　dawns；　a　new　sun　gleaming　upon　noon。　All　the　joy　of　the　world　surged　and　beat　in　her　pulses；　till　it　seemed　that　her　heart　had　wings。

Sunset　came　upon　the　water；　the　colour　on　the　horizon　reflecting　soft　iridescence　upon　the　blue。　Slow　sapphire　surges　broke　at　her　feet；　tossing　great　pearls　of　spray　against　the　cliff。　Suddenly；　as　if　by　instinct；　she　turnedand　faced　Winfield。

〃Thank　you　for　the　roses；〃　she　cried；　with　her　face　aglow。

He　gathered　her　into　his　arms。　〃Oh；　my　Rose　of　All　the　World；〃　he　murmured；　〃have　I　found　you　at　last？〃

It　was　almost　dusk　when　they　turned　to　go　home；　with　their　arms　around　each　other；　as　if　they　were　the　First　Two；　wandering　through　the　shaded　groves　of　Paradise；　before　sin　came　into　the　world。

〃Did　you　think　it　would　be　like　this？〃　she　asked；　shyly。

〃No；　I　didn't；　darling。　I　thought　it　would　be　very　prim　and　proper。　I　never　dreamed　you'd　let　me　kiss　youyes；　I　did；　too；　but　I　thought　it　was　too　good　to　be　true。〃

〃I　had　toto　let　you；〃　she　explained；　crimsoning；　〃but　nobody　ever　did　before。　I　always　thought〃　Then　Ruth　hid　her　face　against　his　shoulder；　in　maidenly　shame。

When　they　came　to　the　log　across　the　path；　they　sat　down；　very　close　together。　〃You　said　we'd　fight　if　we　came　here；〃　Ruth　whispered。

〃We're　not　going　to；　though。　I　want　to　tell　you　something；　dear；　and　I　haven't　had　the　words　for　it　till　now。〃

〃What　is　it？〃　she　asked；　in　alarm。

〃It's　only　that　I　love　you；　Ruth；〃　he　said；　holding　her　closer；　〃and　when　I've　said　that；　I've　said　all。　It　isn't　an　idle　word；　it's　all　my　life　that　I　give　you；　to　do　with　as　you　will。　It　isn't　anything　that's　apart　from　you；　or　ever　could　be；　it's　as　much　yours　as　your　hands　or　eyes　are。　I　didn't　know　it　for　a　little　whilethat's　because　I　was　blind。　To　think　that　I　should　go　up　to　see　you；　even　that　first　day；　without　knowing　you　for　my　sweetheartmy　wife！〃

〃No；　don't　draw　away　from　me。　You　little　wild　bird；　are　you　afraid　of　Love？　It's　the　sweetest　thing　God　ever　let　a　man　dream　of；　Ruththere's　nothing　like　it　in　all　the　world。　Look　up；　Sweet　Eyes；　and　say　you　love　me！〃

Ruth's　head　drooped；　and　he　put　his　hand　under　her　chin；　turning　her　face　toward　him；　but　her　eyes　were　downcast　still。　〃Say　it；　darling；〃　he　pleaded。

〃II　can't；〃　she　stammered。

〃Why；　dear？〃

〃Becausebecauseyou　know。〃

〃I　want　you　to　say　it；　sweetheart。　Won't　you？〃

〃Sometime；　perhaps。〃

〃When？〃

〃Whenwhen　it's　dark。〃

〃It's　dark　now。〃

〃No　it　isn't。　How　did　you　know？〃

〃How　did　I　know　what；　dear？〃

〃That　Ithat　Icared。〃

〃I　knew　the　day　you　cried。　I　didn't　know　myself　until　then；　but　it　all　came　in　a　minute。〃

〃I　was　afraid　you　were　going　to　stay　away　a　whole　week。〃

〃I　couldn't；　darlingI　just　had　to　come。〃

〃Did　you　see　everybody　you　wanted　to　see？〃

〃I　couldn't　see　anything　but　your　face；　Ruth；　with　the　tears　on　it。　I've　got　to　go　back　to…morrow　and　have　another　try　at　the　oculist。〃

〃Oh！〃　she　exclaimed；　in　acute