tales and fantasies-第5章

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enter　his　father's　house　by　means　of　the　pass…key；　which　he

had　piously　preserved　through　all　his　wanderings；　he　would

throw　down　the　borrowed　money；　there　would　be　a

reconciliation；　the　details　of　which　he　frequently　arranged；

and　he　saw　himself；　during　the　next　month；　made　welcome　in

many　stately　houses　at　many　frigid　dinner…parties；　taking　his

share　in　the　conversation　with　the　freedom　of　the　man　and　the

traveller；　and　laying　down　the　law　upon　finance　with　the

authority　of　the　successful　investor。　　But　this　programme　was

not　to　be　begun　before　evening　…　not　till　just　before　dinner；

indeed；　at　which　meal　the　reassembled　family　were　to　sit

roseate；　and　the　best　wine；　the　modern　fatted　calf；　should

flow　for　the　prodigal's　return。



Meanwhile　he　walked　familiar　streets；　merry　reminiscences

crowding　round　him；　sad　ones　also；　both　with　the　same

surprising　pathos。　　The　keen　frosty　air；　the　low；　rosy；

wintry　sun；　the　castle；　hailing　him　like　an　old　acquaintance；

the　names　of　friends　on　door…plates；　the　sight　of　friends

whom　he　seemed　to　recognise；　and　whom　he　eagerly　avoided；　in

the　streets；　the　pleasant　chant　of　the　north…country　accent；

the　dome　of　St。　George's　reminding　him　of　his　last

penitential　moments　in　the　lane；　and　of　that　King　of　Glory

whose　name　had　echoed　ever　since　in　the　saddest　corner　of　his

memory；　and　the　gutters　where　he　had　learned　to　slide；　and

the　shop　where　he　had　bought　his　skates；　and　the　stones　on

which　he　had　trod；　and　the　railings　in　which　he　had　rattled

his　clachan　as　he　went　to　school；　and　all　those　thousand　and

one　nameless　particulars；　which　the　eye　sees　without　noting；

which　the　memory　keeps　indeed　yet　without　knowing；　and　which；

taken　one　with　another；　build　up　for　us　the　aspect　of　the

place　that　we　call　home：　all　these　besieged　him；　as　he　went；

with　both　delight　and　sadness。



His　first　visit　was　for　Houston；　who　had　a　house　on　Regent

Terrace；　kept　for　him　in　old　days　by　an　aunt。　　The　door　was

opened　（to　his　surprise）　upon　the　chain；　and　a　voice　asked

him　from　within　what　he　wanted。



'I　want　Mr。　Houston　…　Mr。　Alan　Houston；'　said　he。



'And　who　are　ye？'　said　the　voice。



'This　is　most　extraordinary；'　thought　John；　and　then　aloud　he

told　his　name。



'No'　young　Mr。　John？'　cried　the　voice；　with　a　sudden　increase

of　Scotch　accent；　testifying　to　a　friendlier　feeling。



'The　very　same；'　said　John。



And　the　old　butler　removed　his　defences；　remarking　only　'I

thocht　ye　were　that　man。'　　But　his　master　was　not　there；　he

was　staying；　it　appeared；　at　the　house　in　Murrayfield；　and

though　the　butler　would　have　been　glad　enough　to　have　taken

his　place　and　given　all　the　news　of　the　family；　John；　struck

with　a　little　chill；　was　eager　to　be　gone。　　Only；　the　door

was　scarce　closed　again；　before　he　regretted　that　he　had　not

asked　about　'that　man。'



He　was　to　pay　no　more　visits　till　he　had　seen　his　father　and

made　all　well　at　home；　Alan　had　been　the　only　possible

exception；　and　John　had　not　time　to　go　as　far　as　Murrayfield。

But　here　he　was　on　Regent　Terrace；　there　was　nothing　to

prevent　him　going　round　the　end　of　the　hill；　and　looking　from

without　on　the　Mackenzies'　house。　　As　he　went；　he　reflected

that　Flora　must　now　be　a　woman　of　near　his　own　age；　and　it

was　within　the　bounds　of　possibility　that　she　was　married；

but　this　dishonourable　doubt　he　dammed　down。



There　was　the　house；　sure　enough；　but　the　door　was　of　another

colour；　and　what　was　this　…　two　door…plates？　　He　drew　nearer；

the　top　one　bore；　with　dignified　simplicity；　the　words；　'Mr。

Proudfoot'；　the　lower　one　was　more　explicit；　and　informed　the

passer…by　that　here　was　likewise　the　abode　of　'Mr。　J。　A。

Dunlop　Proudfoot；　Advocate。'　　The　Proudfoots　must　be　rich；

for　no　advocate　could　look　to　have　much　business　in　so　remote

a　quarter；　and　John　hated　them　for　their　wealth　and　for　their

name；　and　for　the　sake　of　the　house　they　desecrated　with

their　presence。　　He　remembered　a　Proudfoot　he　had　seen　at

school；　not　known：　a　little；　whey…faced　urchin；　the

despicable　member　of　some　lower　class。　　Could　it　be　this

abortion　that　had　climbed　to　be　an　advocate；　and　now　lived　in

the　birthplace　of　Flora　and　the　home　of　John's　tenderest

memories？　　The　chill　that　had　first　seized　upon　him　when　he

heard　of　Houston's　absence　deepened　and　struck　inward。　　For　a

moment；　as　he　stood　under　the　doors　of　that　estranged　house；

and　looked　east　and　west　along　the　solitary　pavement　of　the

Royal　Terrace；　where　not　a　cat　was　stirring；　the　sense　of

solitude　and　desolation　took　him　by　the　throat；　and　he　wished

himself　in　San　Francisco。



And　then　the　figure　he　made；　with　his　decent　portliness；　his

whiskers；　the　money　in　his　purse；　the　excellent　cigar　that　he

now　lighted；　recurred　to　his　mind　in　consolatory　comparison

with　that　of　a　certain　maddened　lad　who；　on　a　certain　spring

Sunday　ten　years　before；　and　in　the　hour　of　church…time

silence；　had　stolen　from　that　city　by　the　Glasgow　road。　　In

the　face　of　these　changes；　it　were　impious　to　doubt　fortune's

kindness。　　All　would　be　well　yet；　the　Mackenzies　would　be

found；　Flora；　younger　and　lovelier　and　kinder　than　before；

Alan　would　be　found；　and　would　have　so　nicely　discriminated

his　behaviour　as　to　have　grown；　on　the　one　hand；　into　a

valued　friend　of　Mr。　Nicholson's；　and　to　have　remained；　upon

the　other；　of　that　exact　shade　of　joviality　which　John

desired　in　his　companions。　　And　so；　once　more；　John　fell　to

work　discounting　the　delightful　future：　his　first　appearance

in　the　family　pew；　his　first　visit　to　his　uncle　Greig；　who

thought　himself　so　great　a　financier；　and　on　whose　purblind

Edinburgh　eyes　John　was　to　let　in　the　dazzling　daylight　of

the　West；　and　the　details　in　general　of　that　unrivalled

transformation　scene；　in　which　he　was　to　display　to　all

Edinburgh　a　portly　and　successful　gentleman　in　the　shoes　of

the　derided　fugitive。



The　time　began　to　draw　near　when　his　father　would　have

returned　from　the　office；　and　it　would　be　the　prodigal's　cue

to　enter。　　He　strolled　westward　by　Albany　Street；　facing　the

sunset　embers；　pleased；　he　knew　not　why；　to　move　in　that　cold

air　and　indigo　twilight；　starred　with　street…lamps。　　But

there　was　one　more　disenchantment　waiting　him　by　the　way。



At　the　corner　of　Pitt　Street　he　paused　to　light　a　fresh

cigar；　the　vesta　threw；　as　he　did　so；　a　strong　light　upon　his

features；　and　a　man　of　about　his　own　age　stopped　at　sight　of

it。



'I　think　your　name　must　be　Nicholson；'　said　the　stranger。



It　was　too　late　to　avoid　recognition；　and　besides；　as　John

was　now　actually　on　the　way　home；　it　hardly　mattered；　and　he

gave　way　to　the　impulse　of　his　nature。



'Great　Scott！'　he　cried；　'Beatson！'　and　shook　hands　with

warmth。　　It　scarce　seemed　he　was　repaid　in　kind。



'So　you're　home　again？'　said　Beatson。　　'Where　have　you　been

all　this　long　time？'



'In　the　States；'　said　John　…　'California。　　I've　made　my　pile

though；　and　it　suddenly　struck　me　it　would　be　a　noble　scheme

to　come　home　for　Christmas。'



'I　see；'　said　Beatson。　　'Well；　I　hope　we'll　see　something　of

you　now　you're　here。'



'Oh；　I　guess　so；'　said　John；　a　little　frozen。



'Well；　ta…ta；'　concluded　Beatson；　and　he　shook　hands　again

and　went。



This　was　a　cruel　first　experience。　　It　was　idle　to　blink

facts：　here　was　John　home　again；　and　Beatson　…　Old　Beatson　…

did　not　care　a　rush。　　He　recalled　Old　Beatson　in　the　past　…

that　merry　and　affectionate　lad　…　and　their　joint　adventures

and　mishaps；　the　window　they　had　broken　with　a　catapult　in

India　Place；　the　escalade　of　the　castle　rock；　and　many

another　inestimable　bond　of　friendship；　and　his　hurt　surprise

grew　deeper。　　Well；　after　all；　it　was　only　on　a　man's　own

family　that　he　could　count；　blood　was　thicker　than　water；　he

remembered；　and　the　net　result　of　this　encounter　was　to　bring

him　to　the　doorstep　of　his　father's　house；　with　tenderer　and

softer　feelings。



The　night　had　come；　the　fanlight　over　the　door　shone　bright；

the　two　windows　of　the　dining…room　where　the　cloth　was　being

laid；　and　the　three　windows　of　the　drawing…room　where　Maria

would　be　waiting　dinner；　glowed　softlier　through　yellow

blinds。　　It　was　like　a　vision　of　the　past。　　All　this　time　of

his　absence　life　had　gone　forward　with　an　equal　foot；　and　the

fires　and　the　gas　had　been　lighted；　and　the　meals　spread；　at

the　accustomed　hours。　　At　the　accustomed　hour；　too；　the　bell

had　sounded　thrice　to　call　the　family　to　worship。　　And　at　the

thought；　a　pang　of　regret　for　his　demerit　seized　him；　he

remembered　the　things　that　were　good　and　that　he　had

neglected；　and　the　things　that　were　evil　and　that　he　had

loved；　and　it　was　with　a　prayer　upon　his　lips　that　he　mounted

the　steps　and　thrust　the　key　into　the　key…hole。



He　stepped　into　the　lighted　hall；　shut　the　door　softly　behind

him；　and　stood　there　fixed　in　wonder。　　No　surprise　of

strangeness　could　equal　the　surprise　of　that　complete

familiarity。　　There　was　the　bust　of　Chalmers　near　the　stair…

railings；　there　was　the　clothes…brush　in　the　accustomed

place；　and　there；　on　the　hat…stand；　hung　hats　and　coats　that

must　surely　be　the　same　as　he　remembered。　　Ten　years　dropped

from　his　life；　as　a　pin　may　slip　between　the　fingers；　and　the

ocean　and　the　mountains；　and　the　mines；　and　crowded　marts　and

mingled　races　of　San　Francisco；　and　his　own　fortune　and　his

own　disgrace；　became；　for　that　one　moment；　the　figures　of　a

dream　that　was　over。



He　took　off　his　hat；　and　moved　mechanically　toward　the　stand；

and　there　he　found　a　small　change　that　was　a　great　one　to

him。　　The　pin　that　had　been　his　from　boyhood；　where　he　had

flung　his　balmoral　when　he　loitered　home　from　the　Academy；

and　his　first　hat　when　he　came　briskly　back　from　college　or

the　office　…　his　pin　was　occupied。　　'They　might　have　at　least

respected　my　pin！'　he　thought；　and　he　was　moved　as　by　a

slight；　and　began　at　once　to　recollect　that　he　was　here　an

interloper；　in　a　strange　house；　which　he　had　entered　almost

by　a　burglary；　and　where　at　any　moment　he　might　be

scandalously　challenged。



He　moved　at　once；　his　hat　still　in　his　hand；　to　the　door　of

his　father's　room；　opened　it；　and　entered。　　Mr。　Nicholson　sat

in　the　same　place　and　posture　as　on　that　last　Sunday　morning；

only　he　was　older；　and　greyer；　and　sterner；　and　as　he　now

glanced　up　and　caught　the　eye　of　his　son；　a　strange　commotion

and　a　dark　flush　sprung　into　his　face。



'Father；'　said　John；　steadily；　and　even　cheerfully；　for　this

was　a　moment　against　which　he　was　long　ago　prepared；　'father；

here　I　am；　and　here　is　the　money　that　I　took　from　you。　　I

have　come　back　to　ask　your　forgiveness；　and　to　stay　Christmas

with　you　and　the　children。'



'Keep　your　money；'　said　the　father；　'and　go！'



'Father！'　cried　John；　'for　God's　sake　don't　receive　me　this

way。　　I've　come　for　…　'



'Understand　me；'　interrupted　Mr。　Nicholson；　'you　are　no　s