confidence-第32章

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〃I　thought　my　fault　had　been　that　I　was　too　frank。〃

〃I　was　densely　stupid；　and　you　might　have　made　me　understand　better。〃

〃Ah；〃　said　Angela；　〃you　ask　a　great　deal　of　a　girl！〃

〃Why　have　you　let　me　go　on　so　long　thinking　that　my　deluded　words　had　had　an　effect　upon　Gordonfeeling　that　I　had　done　you　a　brutal　wrong？　It　was　real　to　me；　the　wrongand　I　have　told　you　of　the　pangs　and　the　shame　which；　for　so　many　months；　it　has　cost　me！　　Why　have　you　never　undeceived　me　until　to…day；　and　then　only　by　accident？〃

At　this　question　Angela　blushed　a　little；　then　she　answered；　smiling

〃It　was　my　vengeance。〃

Bernard　shook　his　head。

〃That　won't　doyou　don't　mean　it。　　You　never　caredyou　were　too　proud　to　care；　and　when　I　spoke　to　you　about　my　fault；　you　did　n't　even　know　what　I　meant。　　You　might　have　told　me；　therefore；　that　my　remorse　was　idle；　that　what　I　said　to　Gordon　had　not　been　of　the　smallest　consequence；　and　that　the　rupture　had　come　from　yourself。〃

For　some　time　Angela　said　nothing；　then　at　last　she　gave　him　one　of　the　deeply　serious　looks　with　which　her　face　was　occasionally　ornamented。

〃If　you　want　really　to　know；　thencan't　you　see　that　your　remorse　seemed　to　me　connected　in　a　certain　way　with　your　affection；　a　sort　of　guarantee　of　it？　You　thought　you　had　injured　some　one　or　other；　and　that　seemed　to　be　mixed　up　with　your　loving　me；　and　therefore　I　let　it　alone。〃

〃Ah；〃　said　Bernard；　〃my　remorse　is　all　gone；　and　yet　I　think　I　love　you　about　as　much　as　ever！　　So　you　see　how　wrong　you　were　not　to　tell　me。〃

〃The　wrong　to　you　I　don't　care　about。　　It　is　very　true　I　might　have　told　you　for　Mr。　Wright's　sake。　　It　would　perhaps　have　made　him　look　better。　But　as　you　never　attacked　him　for　deserting　me；　it　seemed　needless　for　me　to　defend　him。〃



〃I　confess；〃　said　Bernard；　〃I　am　quite　at　sea　about　Gordon's　look　in　the　matter。　　Is　he　looking　better　nowor　is　he　looking　worse？　　You　put　it　very　well　just　now；　I　was　attending　to　you；　though　you　said　I　was　not。　If　he　hoped　you　would　refuse　him；　with　whom　is　his　quarrel　at　present？　And　why　was　he　so　cool　to　me　for　months　after　we　parted　at　Baden？　If　that　was　his　state　of　mind；　why　should　he　accuse　me　of　inconsistency？〃

〃There　is　something　in　it；　after　all；　that　a　woman　can　understand。　I　don't　know　whether　a　man　can。　　He　hoped　I　would　refuse　him；　and　yet　when　I　had　done　so　he　was　vexed。　　After　a　while　his　vexation　subsided；　and　he　married　poor　Blanche；　but；　on　learning　to…day　that　I　had　accepted　you；　it　flickered　up　again。　　I　suppose　that　was　natural　enough；　but　it　won't　be　serious。〃

〃What　will　not　be　serious；　my　dear？〃　asked　Mrs。　Vivian；　who　had　come　back　to　the　drawing…room；　and　who；　apparently；　could　not　hear　that　the　attribute　in　question　was　wanting　in　any　direction；　without　some　alarm。

〃Shall　I　tell　mamma；　Bernard？〃　said　Angela。

〃Ah；　my　dear　child；　I　hope　it　's　nothing　that　threatens　your　mutual　happiness；〃　mamma　murmured；　with　gentle　earnestness。

〃Does　it　threaten　our　mutual　happiness；　Bernard？〃　the　girl　went　on；　smiling。

〃Let　Mrs。　Vivian　decide　whether　we　ought　to　let　it　make　us　miserable；〃　said　Bernard。　　〃Dear　Mrs。　Vivian；　you　are　a　casuist；　and　this　is　a　nice　case。〃

〃Is　it　anything　about　poor　Mr。　Wright？〃　the　elder　lady　inquired。

〃Why　do　you　say　'poor'　Mr。　Wright？〃　asked　Bernard。

〃Because　I　am　sadly　afraid　he　is　not　happy　with　Blanche。〃

〃How　did　you　discover　thatwithout　seeing　them　together？〃

〃Well；　perhaps　you　will　think　me　very　fanciful；〃　said　Mrs。　Vivian；　〃but　it　was　by　the　way　he　looked　at　Angela。　　He　has　such　an　expressive　face。〃

〃He　looked　at　me　very　kindly；　mamma；〃　Angela　observed。

〃He　regularly　stared；　my　daughter。　　In　any　one　else　I　should　have　said　it　was　rude。　　But　his　situation　is　so　peculiar；　and　one　could　see　that　he　admired　you　still。〃　　And　Mrs。　Vivian　gave　a　little　soft　sigh。

〃Ah！　she　is　thinking　of　the　thirty　thousand　a　year；〃　Bernard　said　to　himself。

〃I　am　sure　I　hope　he　admires　me　still；〃　the　girl　cried；　laughing。　〃There　is　no　great　harm　in　that。〃

〃He　was　comparing　you　with　Blancheand　he　was　struck　with　the　contrast。〃

〃It　could　n't　have　been　in　my　favor。　　If　it　's　a　question　of　being　looked　at；　Blanche　bears　it　better　than　I。〃

〃Poor　little　Blanche！〃　murmured　Mrs。　Vivian；　sweetly。

〃Why　did　you　tell　me　he　was　so　happy　with　her？〃　　Angela　asked；　turning　to　Bernard；　abruptly。

Bernard　gazed　at　her　a　moment；　with　his　eyebrows　raised。

〃I　never　saw　any　one　ask　such　sudden　questions！〃　he　exclaimed。

〃You　can　answer　me　at　your　leisure；〃　she　rejoined；　turning　away。

〃It　was　because　I　adored　you。〃

〃You　would　n't　say　that　at　your　leisure；〃　said　the　girl。

Mrs。　Vivian　stood　watching　them。

〃You；　who　are　so　happy　together；　you　ought　to　think　kindly　of　others　who　are　less　fortunate。〃

〃That　is　very　true；　Mrs。　Vivian；　and　I　have　never　thought　of　any　one　so　kindly　as　I　have　of　Gordon　for　the　last　year。〃

Angela　turned　round　again。

〃Is　Blanche　so　very　bad；　then？〃

〃You　will　see　for　yourself！〃

〃Ah；　no；〃　said　Mrs。　Vivian；　〃she　is　not　bad；　she　is　only　very　light。　I　am　so　glad　she　is　to　be　near　us　again。　　I　think　a　great　deal　can　be　done　by　association。　　We　must　help　her；　Angela。　　I　think　we　helped　her　before。〃

〃It　is　also　very　true　that　she　is　light；　Mrs。　Vivian；〃　Bernard　observed；　〃and　if　you　could　make　her　a　little　heavier；　I　should　be　tremendously　grateful。〃

Bernard's　prospective　mother…in…law　looked　at　him　a　little。

〃I　don't　know　whether　you　are　laughing　at　meI　always　think　you　are。　But　I　shall　not　give　up　Blanche　for　that。　　I　never　give　up　any　one　that　I　have　once　tried　to　help。　　Blanche　will　come　back　to　me。〃

Mrs。　Vivian　had　hardly　spoken　when　the　sharp　little　vibration　of　her　door…bell　was　heard　in　the　hall。　　Bernard　stood　for　a　moment　looking　at　the　door　of　the　drawing…room。

〃It　is　poor　Gordon　come　to　make　a　scene！〃　he　announced。

〃Is　that　what　you　meanthat　he　opposed　your　marriage？〃　asked　Mrs。　Vivian；　with　a　frightened　air。

〃I　don't　know　what　he　proposes　to　do　with　Blanche；〃　said　Bernard；　laughing。

There　were　voices　in　the　hall。　　Angela　had　been　listening。

〃You　say　she　will　come　back　to　you；　mamma；〃　she　exclaimed。　〃Here　she　is　arrived！〃






CHAPTER　XXVII

At　the　same　moment　the　door　was　thrown　open；　and　Mrs。　Gordon　appeared　on　the　threshold　with　a　gentleman　behind　her。　Blanche　stood　an　instant　looking　into　the　lighted　room　and　hesitating　flushed　a　little；　smiling；　extremely　pretty。

〃May　I　come　in？〃　she　said；　〃and　may　I　bring　in　Captain　Lovelock？〃

The　two　ladies；　of　course；　fluttering　toward　her　with　every　demonstration　of　hospitality；　drew　her　into　the　room；　while　Bernard　proceeded　to　greet　the　Captain；　who　advanced　with　a　certain　awkward　and　bashful　majesty；　almost　sweeping　with　his　great　stature　Mrs。　Vivian's　humble　ceiling。　There　was　a　tender　exchange　of　embraces　between　Blanche　and　her　friends；　and　the　charming　visitor；　losing　no　time；　began　to　chatter　with　her　usual　volubility。　　Mrs。　Vivian　and　Angela　made　her　companion　graciously　welcome；　but　Blanche　begged　they　would　n't　mind　himshe　had　only　brought　him　as　a　watch…dog。

〃His　place　is　on　the　rug；〃　she　said。　　〃Captain　Lovelock；　go　and　lie　down　on　the　rug。〃

〃Upon　my　soul；　there　is　nothing　else　but　rugs　in　these　French　places！〃　the　Captain　rejoined；　looking　round　Mrs。　Vivian's　salon。　　〃Which　rug　do　you　mean？〃

Mrs。　Vivian　had　remarked　to　Blanche　that　it　was　very　kind　of　her　to　come　first；　and　Blanche　declared　that　she　could　not　have　laid　her　head　on　her　pillow　before　she　had　seen　her　dear　Mrs。　Vivian。

〃Do　you　suppose　I　would　wait　because　I　am　married？〃　she　inquired；　with　a　keen　little　smile　in　her　charming　eyes。　〃I　am　not　so　much　married　as　that；　I　can　tell　you！　　Do　you　think　I　look　much　as　if　I　were　married；　with　no　one　to　bring　me　here　to…night　but　Captain　Lovelock？〃

〃I　am　sure　Captain　Lovelock　is　a　very　gallant　escort；〃　said　Mrs。　Vivian。

〃Oh；　he　was　not　afraidthat　is；　he　was　not　afraid　of　the　journey；　though　it　lay　all　through　those　dreadful　wild　Champs　Elysees。　But　when　we　arrived；　he　was　afraid　to　come　into　come　up　here。　Captain　Lovelock　is　so　modest；　you　knowin　spite　of　all　the　success　he　had　in　America。　　He　will　tell　you　about　the　success　he　had　in　America；　it　quite　makes　up　for　the　defeat　of　the　British　army　in　the　Revolution。　They　were　defeated　in　the　Revolution；　the　British；　were　n't　they？　I　always　told　him　so；　but　he　insists　they　were　not。　　'How　do　we　come　to　be　free；　then？'　　I　always　ask　him；　'I　suppose　you　admit　that　we　are　free。'　　Then　he　becomes　personal　and　says　that　I　am　free　enough；　certainly。　　But　it　's　the　general　fact　I　mean；　I　wish　you　would　tell　him　about　the　general　fact。　　I　think　he　would　believe　you；　because　he　knows　you　know　a　great　deal　about　history　and　all　that。　I　don't　mean　this　evening；　but　some　time　when　it　is　convenient。　He　did　n't　want　to　come　inhe　wanted　to　stay　in　the　carriage　and　smoke　a　cigar；　he　thought　you　would　n't　like　it；　his　coming　with　me　the　first　time。　　But　I　told　him　he　need　n't　mind　that；　for　I　would　certainly　explain。　　I　would　be　very　careful　to　let　you　know　that　I　brought　him　only　as　a　substitute。　　A　substitute　for　whom？　A　substitute　for　my　husband；　of　course。　　My　dear　Mrs。　Vivian；　of　course　I　ought　to　bring　you　some　pretty　message　from　Gordon　that　he　is　dying　to　come　and　see　you；　only　that　he　had　nineteen　letters　to　write　and　that　he　could　n't　possibly　stir　from　his　fireside。　I　suppose　a　good　wife　ought　to　invent　excuses　for　her　husband　ought　to　throw　herself　into　the　breach；　is　n't　that　what　they　call　it？　But　I　am　afraid　I　am　not　a　good　wife。　　Do　you　think　I　am　a　good　wife；　Mr。　Longueville？　　You　once　stayed　three　months　with　us；　and　you　had　a　chance　to　see。　　I　don't　ask　you　that　seriously；　because　you　never　tell　the　truth。　　I　always　do；　so　I　will　say　I　am　not　a　good　wife。　And　then　the　breach　is　too　big；　and　I　am　too　little。　　Oh；　I　am　too　little；　Mrs。　Vivian；　I　know　I　am　too　little。　　I　am　the　smallest　woman　living；　Gordon　can　scarcely　see　me　with　a　microscope；　and　I　believe　he　has　the　most　powerful　one　in　America。　　He　is　going　to　get　another　here；　that　is　one　of　the　things　he　came　abroad　for；　perhaps　it　will　do　better。　　I　do　tell　the　truth；　don't　I；　Mrs。　Vivian？　I　have　that　merit；　if　I　have　n't　any　other。　　You　once　told　me　so　at　Baden；　you　said　you　could　say　one　thing　for　me；　at　any　rate　that　I　did　n't　tell　fibs。　　You　were　very　nice　to　me　at　Baden；〃　Blanche　went　on；　with　her　little　intent　smile；　laying　her　hand　in　that　of　her　hostess。　　〃You　see；　I　have　never　forgotten　it。　So；　to　keep　up　my　reputation；　I　must　tell　the　truth　about　Gordon。　He　simply　said　he　would　n't　comevoila！　　He　gave　no　reason　and　he　did　n't　send　you　any　pretty　message。　　He　simply　declined；　and　he　went　out　somewhere　else。　　So　you　see　he　is　n't　writing　letters。　I　don't　know　where　he　can　have　gone；　perhaps　he　has　gone　to　the　theatre。　I　know　it　is　n't　proper　to　go　to　the　theatre　on　Sunday　evening；　but　they　say　charity　begins　at　home；　and　as　Gordon's　does　n't　begin　at　home；　perhaps　it　does　n't　begin　anywhere。　　I　told　him　that　if　he　would　n't　come　with　me　I　would　come　alone；　and　he　said　I　might　do　as　I　chosethat　he　was　not　in　a　humor　for　making　visits。　I　wanted　to　come　to　you　very　much；　I　had　been　thinking　about　it　all　day；　and　I　am　so　fond　of　a　visit　like　th