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Charles Dickens                                                       ElecBook Classics 


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                               Barnaby Rudge                                     336 



which he swigged such copious draughts�察�that most of his faculties 

were     utterly  drowned      and   washed     away�察   �except    the  one   great 

faculty   of   sleep�察  �which   he   retained   in   surprising   perfection。   The 

creaking Lion over the house´door was�察�therefore�察�to say the truth�察�

rather     a  drowsy�察    �tame�察   �and   feeble    lion�察 �and    as  these    social 

representatives       of  a   savage  class   are  usually    of  a  conventional 

character      ��being    depicted�察    �for  the   most     part�察  �in  impossible 

attitudes and of unearthly colours���察�he was frequently supposed by 

the   more   ignorant and   uninformed   among   the   neighbours�察  �to   be 

the veritable portrait of the host as he appeared on the occasion of 

some great funeral ceremony or public mourning。 

    `What noisy fellow is that in the next room�拭� said Joe�察�when he 

had    disposed     of  his   breakfast�察   �and   had    washed     and   brushed 

himself。 

    `A recruiting serjeant�察� replied the Lion。 

   Joe started involuntarily。 Here was the very thing he had been 

dreaming of�察�all the way along。 

    `And I wish�察� said the Lion�察 �he was anywhere else but here。 The 

party  make   noise   enough�察  �but   don¨t   call   for   much。   There¨s   great 

cry there�察�Mr Willet�察�but very little wool。 Your father wouldn¨t like 

¨em�察�I know。¨ 

    Perhaps      not  much     under    any   circumstances。      Perhaps     if  he 

could have known what was passing at that moment in Joe¨s mind�察�

he would have liked them still less。 

    `Is he recruiting for a!for a fine regiment�拭� said Joe�察�glancing 

at a little round mirror that hung in the bar。 

    `I   believe   he   is�察�   replied   the   host。   `It¨s   much   the   same   thing�察�

whatever regiment he¨s recruiting for。 I¨m told there an¨t a deal of 

difference between a fine man and another one�察�when they¨re shot 



Charles Dickens                                                     ElecBook Classics 


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                               Barnaby Rudge                                     337 



through and through。¨ 

    `They¨re not all shot�察� said Joe。 

    `No�察� the Lion answered�察 �not all。 Those that are!supposing it¨s 

done easy!are the best off in my opinion。¨ 

    `Ah� � retorted Joe�察 �but you don¨t care for glory。¨ 

    `For what�拭� said the Lion。 

    `Glory。¨ 

    `No�察�   returned    the   Lion�察  �with   supreme     indifference。     `I  don¨t。 

You¨re right in that�察�Mr Willet。 When Glory comes here�察�and calls 

for anything to drink and changes a guinea to pay for it�察�I¨ll give it 

him for nothing。 It¨s my belief�察�sir�察�that the Glory¨s arms wouldn¨t 

do a very strong business。¨ 

    These     remarks     were   not   at  all  comforting。     Joe   walked    out�察�

stopped at  the   door  of   the   next  room�察  �and   listened。   The   serjeant 

was describing a military life。 It was   all drinking�察  �he   said�察 �except 

that   there   were   frequent   intervals   of   eating   and   love´making。   A 

battle was the finest thing in the world!when your side won it! 

and Englishmen always did that。 `Supposing you should be killed�察�

sir�拭�   said   a   timid   voice   in   one   corner。   `Well�察  �sir�察  �supposing   you 

should be�察� said the serjeant�察 �what then�拭�Your country loves you�察�

sir�察�his Majesty King George the Third loves you�察�your memory is 

honoured�察      �revered�察    �respected�察    �everybody¨s      fond   of   you�察  �and 

grateful to you�察�your name¨s wrote down at full length in a book in 

the War Office。 Damme�察�gentlemen�察�we must all die some time�察�or 

another�察�eh�拭� 

    The voice coughed�察�and said no more。 

    Joe walked into the room。 A group of half´a´dozen fellows had 

gathered together in the taproom�察�and were listening with greedy 

ears。 One of them�察�a carter in a smock frock�察�seemed wavering and 



Charles Dickens                                                     ElecBook Classics 


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                                Barnaby Rudge                                      338 



disposed      to  enlist。  The    rest�察 �who    were   by   no   means     disposed�察�

strongly urged him to do so ��according to the custom of mankind���察�

backed the serjeant¨s arguments�察�and grinned among themselves。 

`I   say  nothing�察    �boys�察�  said   the   serjeant�察   �who    sat  a  little  apart�察�

drinking   his   liquor。   `For   lads   of   spirit¨!here   he   cast   an   eye   on 

Joe!`this is the time。 I don¨t want to inveigle you。 The king¨s not 

come to that�察�I hope。 Brisk young blood is what we want�察�not milk 

and     water。   We    won¨t    take   five  men    out   of  six。  We    want    top´ 

sawyers�察  �we   do。   I¨m   not   a´going   to   tell   tales   out   of   school�察  �but�察�

damme�察  �if  every   gentleman¨s   son   that   carries   arms   in   our   corps�察�

through being under a cloud and having little differences with his 

relations�察�was counted up¨!here his eye fell on Joe again�察�and so 

good´naturedly�察�that Joe beckoned him out。 He came directly。 

    `You¨re     a  gentleman�察     �by   G!� �    was    his  first  remark�察    �as   he 

slapped him on the back。 `You¨re a gentleman in disguise。 So am I。 

Let¨s swear a friendship。¨ 

    Joe   didn¨t   exactly  do   that�察  �but   he   shook   hands   with   him�察  �and 

thanked him for his good opinion。 

    `You  want  to  serve�察�   said   his  new  friend。   `You shall。   You   were 

made for it。 You¨re one of us by nature。 What¨ll you take to drink�拭� 

    `Nothing just now�察� replied Joe�察�smiling faintly。 `I haven¨t quite 

made up my mind。¨ 

    `A mettlesome fellow like you�察�and not made up his mind� � cried 

the serjeant。 `Here!let me give the bell a pull�察�and you¨ll make up 

your mind in half a minute�察�I know。¨ 

    `You¨re right so far¨!answered Joe�察 �for if you pull the bell here�察�

where I¨m known�察�there¨ll be an end of my soldiering inclinations 

in no time。 Look in my face。 You see me�察�do you�拭� 

    `I   do�察�   replied   the  serjeant   with   an   oath�察   �and   a  finer   young 



Charles Dickens                                                      ElecBook Classics 


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                               Barnaby Rudge                                      339 



fellow or one better qualified to serve his king and country�察�I never 

set my!¨ he used an adjective in this place!`eyes on。¨ 

    `Thank      you�察�   said   Joe�察    �I  didn¨t   ask    you    for  want     of  a 

compliment�察�but thank you all the same。 Do I look like a sneaking 

fellow or a liar�拭� 

    The   serjeant   rejoined   with   many   choice   asseverations   that   he 

didn¨t�察�and that if his ��the serjeant¨s�� own father were to say he did�察�

he would run the old gentleman through the body cheerfully�察�and 

consider it a meritorious action。 

    Joe expressed his obligations�察�and continued�察 �You can trust me 

then�察�and credit what I say。 I believe I shall enlist in your regiment 

to´night。   The   reason   I   don¨t   do   so   now   is�察  �because   I   don¨t   want 

until to´night�察�to do what I can¨t recall。 Where shall I find you�察�this 

evening�拭� 

    His   friend    replied   with   some    unwillingness�察     �and   after   much 

ineffectual entreaty having for its object the immediate settlement 

of the business�察�that his quarters would be at the Crooked Billet in 

Tower   Street�察  �where   he   would   be   found   waking   until   midnight�察�

and sleeping until breakfast time to´morrow。 

    `And if I do come!which it¨s a million to one�察�I shall!when will 

you take me out of London�拭� demanded Joe。 

    `To´morrow   morning�察        �at   half  after   eight   o¨clock�察�  replied   the 

serjeant。 `You¨ll go abroad!a country where it¨s all sunshine and 

plunder!the finest climate in the world。¨ 

    `To  go  abroad�察�  said   Joe�察  �shaking   hands   with   him�察   �is   the   very 

thing I want。 You may expect me。¨ 

    `You¨re the kind of lad for us�察� cried the serjeant�察�holding Joe¨s 

hand   in   his�察  �in   the   excess   of   his   admiration。   `You¨re   the   boy   to 

push your fortune。 I don¨t say it because I bear  you  any  envy�察  �or 



Charles Dickens                                                      ElecBook Classics 


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                                Barnaby Rudge                                        340 



would   take away  from   the   credit   of   the   rise   you¨ll   make�察  �but   if  I 

had been bred and taught like you�察�I¨d have been a colonel by this 

time。¨ 

    `Tush�察  �man� �   said   Joe�察   �I¨m   not   so   young   as   that。   Needs   must 

when   the   devil   drives�察  �and   the   devil   that   drives   me   is   an   empty 

pocket and an unhappy home。 For the present�察�good´bye。¨ 

    `For king and country� � cried the serjeant�察�flourishing his cap。 

    `For  bread   and   meat� �   cried   Joe�察  �snapping   his   fingers。   And   so 

they parted。 

    He   had   very   little   money   in   his   pocket�察  �so   little   indeed�察  �that 

after    paying     for  his   breakfast     ��which     he   was   too   honest     and 

perhaps too proud to score up to his father¨s charge�� he had but a 

penny      left。  He   had    courage�察    �notwithstanding�察       �to  resist   all  the 

affectionate importunities of the serjeant�察�who waylaid him at the 

door   with   many   protestations          of   eternal  friendship�察  �and      did  in 

particular   request   that   he   would   do   him   the   favour   to   accept   of 

only   one   shilling   as   a   temporary   accommodation。   Rejecting   his 

offers   both   of   cash   and   credit�察  �Joe   walked   away   with   stick   and 

bundle   as   before�察  �bent   upon   getting   through   the   day   as   he   best 

could�察    �and   going    down     to   the  locksmith¨s      in  the   dusk    of   the 

evening�察�for it should go hard�察�he had resolved�察�but he would have 

a parting word with charming Dolly Varden。 

    He   went   out   by   Islington   and   so   on   to   Highgate�察  �and   sat   on 

many stones and gates�察�but there were no voices in the bells to bid 

him     turn。   Since    the   time    of  noble    Whittington�察     �fair  flower    of 

merchants�察        �bells   have     come      to   have     less    sympathy       with 

humankind。         They   only   ring   for   money   and      on   state   occasions。 

Wanderers have increased in number�察�ships leave the Thames for 

distant   regions�察  �carrying   from   stem   to   stern   no   other   cargo�察  �the 

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