the dwelling place of ligh-第71章

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must　be　absent；　in　the　village！　　Janet　was　disappointed；　she　had　looked
forward　to　seeing　him；　to　telling　him　how　great　had　been　her　pleasure　in
the　story　he　had　written；　at　the　same　time　doubting　her　courage　to　do　so。
She　had　never　been　able　to　speak　to　him　about　his　work　and　what　did　her
opinion　matter　to　him？　　As　she　turned　away　the　stillness　was　broken　by　a
humming　sound　gradually　rising　to　a　crescendo；　so　she　ventured　slowly
around　the　house　and　into　the　orchard　of　gnarled　apple　trees　on　the　slope
until　she　came　insight　of　a　little　white　building　beside　the　brook。　　The
weathervane　perched　on　the　gable；　and　veering　in　the　wet　breeze；　seemed
like　a　live　fish　swimming　in　its　own　element；　and　through　the　open　window
she　saw　Insall　bending　over　a　lathe；　from　which　the　chips　were　flying。
She　hesitated。　　Then　he　looked　up；　and　seeing　her；　reached　above　his　head
to　pull　the　lever　that　shut　off　the　power。

〃Come　in；〃　he　called　out；　and　met　her　at　the　doorway。　　He　was　dressed　in
a　white　duck　shirt；　open　at　the　neck；　and　a　pair　of　faded　corduroy
trousers。　　〃I　wasn't　looking　for　this　honour；〃　he　told　her；　with　a
gesture　of　self…deprecation；　〃or　I'd　have　put　on　a　dinner　coat。〃

And；　despite　her　eagerness　and　excitement；　she　laughed。

〃I　didn't　dare　to　leave　this　in　the　house；〃　she　explained。　　　Mrs。　Vesey
wasn't　home。　　And　I　thought　you　might　be　here。〃

〃You　haven't　made　the　copy　already！〃

〃Oh；　I　loved　doing　it！〃　she　replied；　and　paused；　flushing。　　She　might
have　known　that　it　would　be　simply　impossible　to　talk　to　him　about　it！
So　she　laid　it　down　on　the　workbench；　and；　overcome　by　a　sudden　shyness；
retreated　toward　the　door。

〃You're　not　going！〃　he　exclaimed。

〃I　mustand　you're　busy。〃

〃Not　at　all；〃　he　declared；　〃not　at　all；　I　was　just　killing　time　until
supper。　　Sit　down！〃　　And　he　waved　her　to　a　magisterial…looking　chair　of
Jacobean　design；　with　turned　legs；　sandpapered　and　immaculate；　that　stood
in　the　middle　of　the　shop。

〃Oh；　not　in　that！〃　Janet　protested。　　〃And　besides；　I'd　spoil　itI'm　sure
my　skirt　is　wet。〃

But　he　insisted；　thrusting　it　under　her。　　〃You've　come　along　just　in
time；　I　wanted　a　woman　to　test　itmen　are　no　judges　of　chairs。　　There's
a　vacuum　behind　the　small　of　your　back；　isn't　there？　　Augusta　will　have
to　put　a　cushion　in　it。〃

〃Did　you　make　it　for　Mrs。　Maturin？　　She　will　be　Pleased！〃　exclaimed
Janet；　as　she　sat　down。　　〃I　don't　think　it's　uncomfortable。〃

〃I　copied　it　from　an　old　one　in　the　Boston　Art　Museum。　　Augusta　saw　it
there；　and　said　she　wouldn't　be　happy　until　she　had　one　like　it。　　But
don't　tell　her。〃

〃Not　for　anything！〃　　Janet　got　to　her　feet　again。　　〃I　really　must　be
going。〃

〃Going　where？〃

〃I　told　Mrs。　Maturin　I'd　read　that　new　book　to　her。　　I　couldn't　go
yesterdayI　didn't　want　to　go；〃　she　added；　fearing　he　might　think　his
work　had　kept　her。

〃Well；　I'll　walk　over　with　you。　　She　asked　me　to　make　a　little　design　for
a　fountain；　you　know；　and　I'll　have　to　get　some　measurements。〃

As　they　emerged　from　the　shop　and　climbed　the　slope　Janet　tried　to　fight
off　the　sadness　that　began　to　invade　her。　　Soon　she　would　have　to　be
leaving　all　this！　　Her　glance　lingered　wistfully　on　the　old　farmhouse
with　its　great　centre　chimney　from　which　the　smoke　was　curling；　with　its
diamond…paned　casements　Insall　had　put　into　the　tiny　frames。

〃What　queer　windows！〃　she　said。　　〃But　they　seem　to　go　with　the　house；
beautifully。〃

〃You　think　so？〃　　His　tone　surprised　her；　it　had　a　touch　more　of
earnestness　than　she　had　ever　before　detected。　　〃They　belong　to　that　type
of　house　the　old　settlers　brought　the　leaded　glass　with　them。　　Some
people　think　they're　cold；　but　I've　arranged　to　make　them　fairly　tight。
You　see；　I've　tried　to　restore　it　as　it　must　have　been　when　it　was
built。〃

〃And　these？〃　she　asked；　pointing　to　the　millstones　of　different　diameters
that　made　the　steps　leading　down　to　the　garden。

〃Oh；　that's　an　old　custom；　but　they　are　nice；〃　he　agreed。　　〃I'll　just　put
this　precious　manuscript　inside　and　get　my　foot　rule；〃　he　added；　opening
the　door；　and　she　stood　awaiting　him　on　the　threshold；　confronted　by　the
steep　little　staircase　that　disappeared　into　the　wall　half　way　up。　　At
her　left　was　the　room　where　he　worked；　and　which　once　had　been　the
farmhouse　kitchen。　　She　took　a　few　steps　into　it；　and　while　he　was
searching　in　the　table　drawer　she　halted　before　the　great　chimney　over
which；　against　the　panel；　an　old　bell…mouthed　musket　hung。　　Insall　came
over　beside　her。

〃Those　were　trees！〃　he　said。　　〃That　panel's　over　four　feet　across；　I
measured　it　once。　　I　dare　say　the　pine　it　was　cut　from　grew　right　where
we　are　standing；　before　the　land　was　cleared　to　build　the　house。〃

〃But　the　gun？〃　she　questioned。　　〃You　didn't　have　it　the　night　we　came　to
supper。〃

〃No；　I　ran　across　it　at　a　sale　in　Boston。　　The　old　settler　must　have
owned　one　like　that。　　I　like　to　think　of　him；　away　off　here　in　the
wilderness　in　those　early　days。〃

She　thought　of　how　Insall　had　made　those　early　days　live　for　her；　in　his
story　of　Basil　Grelott。　　But　to　save　her　soul；　wen　with　such　an　opening；
she　could　not　speak　of　it。

〃He　had　to　work　pretty　hard；　of　course；〃　Insall　continued；　〃but　I　dare
say　he　had　a　fairly　happy　life；　no　movies；　no　Sunday　supplements；　no
automobiles　or　gypsy　moths。　　His　only　excitement　was　to　trudge　ten　miles
to　Dorset　and　listen　to　a　three　hour　sermon　on　everlasting　fire　and
brimstone　by　a　man　who　was　supposed　to　know。　　No　wonder　he　slept　soundly
and　lived　to　be　over　ninety！〃

Insall　was　standing　with　his　head　thrown　back；　his　eyes　stilt　seemingly
fixed　on　the　musket　that　had　suggested　his　remarka　pose　eloquent；　she
thought；　of　the　mental　and　physical　balance　of　the　man。　　She　wondered
what　belief　gave　him　the　free　mastery　of　soul　and　body　he　possessed。
Some　firm　conviction；　she　was　sure；　must　energise　him　yet　she　respected
him　the　more　for　concealing　it。

〃It's　hard　to　understand　such　a　terrible　religion！〃　she　cried。　　〃I　don't
see　how　those　old　settlers　could　believe　in　it；　when　there　are　such
beautiful　things　in　the　world；　if　we　only　open　our　eyes　and　look　for
them。　　Oh　Mr。　Insall；　I　wish　I　could　tell　you　how　I　felt　when　I　read　your
story；　and　when　Mrs。　Maturin　read　me　those　other　books　of　yours　〃

She　stopped　breathlessly；　aghast　at　her　boldnessand　then；　suddenly；　a
barrier　between　them　seemed　to　break　down；　and　for　the　first　time　since
she　had　known　him　she　felt　near　to　him。　　He　could　not　doubt　the　sincerity
of　her　tribute。

〃You　like　them　as　much　as　that；　Janet？〃　he　said；　looking　at　her。

〃I　can't　tell　you　how　much；　I　can't　express　myself。　　And　I　want　to　tell
you　something　else；　Mr。　Insall；　while　I　have　the　chancehow　just　being
with　you　and　Mrs。　Maturin　has　changed　me。　　I　can　face　life　now；　you　have
shown　me　so　much　in　it　I　never　saw　before。〃

〃While　you　have　the　chance？〃　he　repeated。

〃Yes。〃　　She　strove　to　go　on　cheerfully；　〃Now　I've　said　it；　I　feel　better；
I　promise　not　to　mention　it　again。　　I　knewyou　didn't　think　me
ungrateful。　　It's　funny；〃　she　added；　〃the　more　people　have　done　for　you…
when　they've　given　you　everything；　life　and　hope；the　harder　it　is　to
thank　them。〃　　She　turned　her　face　away；　lest　he　might　see　that　her　eyes
were　wet。　　〃Mrs。　Maturin　will　be　expecting　us。〃

〃Not　yet；〃　she　heard　him　say；　and　felt　his　hand　on　her　arm。　　〃You　haven't
thought　of　what　you're　doing　for　me。〃

〃What　I'm　doing　for　you！〃　she　echoed。　　〃What　hurts　me　most；　when　I　think
about　it；　is　that　I'll　never　be　able　to　do　anything。〃

〃Why　do　you　say　that？〃　he　asked。

〃If　I　only　could　believe　that　some　day　I　might　be　able　to　help　youjust
a　littleI　should　be　happier。　　All　I　have；　all　I　am　I　owe　to　you　and
Mrs。　Maturin。〃

〃No；　Janet；〃　he　answered。　　〃What　you　are　is　you；　and　it's　more　real　than
anything　we　could　have　put　into　you。　　What　you　have　to　give　is
yourself。〃　His　fingers　trembled　on　her　arm；　but　she　saw　him　smile　a
little　before　he　spoke　again。　　〃Augusta　Maturin　was　right　when　she　said
that　you　were　the　woman　I　needed。　　I　didn't　realize　it　then　perhaps　she
didn'tbut　now　I'm　sure　of　it。　　Will　you　come　to　me？〃

She　stood　staring　at　him；　as　in　terror；　suddenly　penetrated　by　a　dismay
that　sapped　her　strength；　and　she　leaned　heavily　against　the　fireplace；
clutching　the　mantel…shelf。

〃Don't！〃　she　pleaded。　　〃Please　don'tI　can't。〃

〃You　can't！。。。　　Perhaps；　after　a　while；　you　may　come　to　feel　differently
I　didn't　mean　to　startle　you；〃　she　heard　him　reply　gently。　　This
humility；　in　him；　was　unbearable。

〃Oh；　it　isn't　thatit　isn't　that！　　If　I　could；　I'd　be　willing　to　serve
you　all　my　lifeI　wouldn't　ask　for　anything　more。　　I　never　thought　that
this　would　happen。　　I　oughtn't　to　have　stayed　in　Silliston。〃

〃You　didn't　suspect　that　I　loved　you？〃

〃How　could　I？　　Oh；　I　might　have　loved　you；　if　I'd　been　fortunateif　I'd
deserved　it。　　But　I　never　thought；　I　always　looked　up　to　youyou　are　so
far　above　me！〃　　She　lifted　her　face　to　him　in　agony。　　〃I'm　sorryI'm
sorry　for　youI'll　never　forgive　myself！〃

〃It'ssome　one　else？〃　he　asked。

〃I　wasgoing　to　be　married　toto　Mr。　Ditmar；〃　she　said　slowly；
despairingly。

〃But　even　then〃　Insall　began。

〃You　don't　understand！〃　she　cried。　　〃What　will　you　think　of　me？Mrs。
Maturin　was　to　have　told　you；　after　I'd　gone。　　It'sit's　the　same　as　if
I　were　married　to　himonly　worse。〃

〃Worse！〃　Insall　repeated　uncomprehendingly。。。。　　And　then　she　was　aware
that　he　had　left　her　side。　　He　was　standing　by　the　window。

A　thrush　began　to　sing　in　the　maple。　　She　stole　silently　toward　the　door；
and　paused　to　look　back　at　him；　once　to　meet　his　glance。　　He　had　turned。

〃I　can'tI　can't　let　you　go　like　this！〃　she　heard　him　say；　but　she　fled
from　him；　out　of　the　gate　and　toward　the　Common。。。。

When　Janet　appeared；　Augusta　Maturin　was　in　her　garden。　　With　an　instant
perception　that　something　was　wrong；　she　went　to　the　girl　and　led　her　to
the　sofa　in　the　library。　　There　the　confession　was　made。

〃I　never　guessed　it；〃　Janet　sobbed。　　〃Oh；　Mrs。　Maturin；　you'll　believe
mewon't　you？〃

〃Of　course　I　believe　you；　Janet；〃　Augusta　Maturity　replied；　trying　to
hide　her　pity；　her　own　profound　concern　and　perplexity。　　〃I　didn't
suspect　it　either。　　If　I　had〃

〃You　wouldn't　have　brought　me　here；　you　wouldn't　have　asked　me　to　stay
with　you。　　But　I　was　to　blame；　I　oughtn't　to　have　stayed；　I　knew　all
along　that　something　would　happensomething　terrible　that　I　hadn't　any
right　to　stay。〃

〃Who　could　have　foreseen　it！〃　　her　friend　exclaimed　helplessly。　　〃Brooks
isn't　like　any　other　man　I've　ever　knownone　can　never　tell　what　he　has
in　mind。　　Not　that　I'm　surprised　as　I　look　back　upon　it　all！〃

〃I've　hurt　him！〃

Augusta　Maturity　was　silent　awhile。　　〃Remember；　my　dear；〃　she　begged；
〃you　haven't　only　yourself　to　think　about；　from　now　on。〃

But　comfort　was　out　of　the　question；　the　task　of　calming　the　girl
impossible。　　Finally　the　doctor　was　sent　for；　and　she　was　put　to　bed。。。。

Augusta　Maturity　spent　an　agonized；　sleepless　night；　a　prey　of　many
emotions；　of　self…reproach；　seeing　now　that　she　had　been　wrong　in　not
telling　Brooks　Insall　of　the　girl's　secret；　of　sorrow　and　sympathy　for
him；　of　tenderness　toward　the　girl；　despite　the　suffering　she　had
brought；　of　unwonted