the dwelling place of ligh-第55章

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individual　discipline　and　restraint。　　And　while　she　had　never　considered
these　things；　the　spectacle　of　a　philosophyembodied　in　himthat
frankly　and　cynically　threw　them　overboard　was　disconcerting。　　He
regarded　her　as　his　proselyte；　he　called　her　a　Puritan；　and　he　seemed
more　concerned　that　she　should　shed　these　relics　of　an　ancestral　code
than　acquire　the　doctrines　of　Sorel　and　Pouget。　　And　yet　association　with
him　presented　the　allurement　of　a　dangerous　adventure。　　Intellectually　he
fascinated　her；　and　still　another　motivewhich　she　partially　disguised
from　herselfprevented　her　from　repelling　him。　　That　motive　had　to　do
with　Ditmar。　　She　tried　to　put　Ditmar　from　her　mind；　she　sought　in
desperation；　not　only　to　keep　busy；　but　to　steep　and　lose　herself　in　this
fierce　creed　as　an　antidote　to　the　insistent；　throbbing　pain　that　lay
ambushed　against　her　moments　of　idleness。　　The　second　evening　of　her
installation　at　Headquarters　she　had　worked　beyond　the　supper　hour；
helping　Sanders　with　his　accounts。　　She　was　loath　to　go　home。　　And　when
at　last　she　put　on　her　hat　and　coat　and　entered　the　hall　Rolfe；　who　had
been　talking　to　Jastro；　immediately　approached　her。　　His　liquid　eyes
regarded　her　solicitously。

〃You　must　be　hungry；〃　he　said。　　〃Come　out　with　me　and　have　some　supper。〃

But　she　was　not　hungry；　what　she　needed　was　air。　　Then　he　would　walk　a
little　way　with　herhe　wanted　to　talk　to　her。　　She　hesitated；　and　then
consented。　　A　fierce　hope　had　again　taken　possession　of　her；　and　when
they　came　to　Warren　Street　she　turned　into　it。

〃Where　are　you　going？〃　Rolfe　demanded。

〃For　a　walk；〃　she　said。　　〃Aren't　you　coming？〃

〃Will　you　have　supper　afterwards？〃

〃Perhaps。〃

He　followed　her；　puzzled；　yet　piqued　and　excited　by　her　manner；　as　with
rapid　steps　she　hurried　along　the　pavement。　　He　tried　to　tell　her　what
her　friendship　meant　to　him；　they　were；　he　declared；　kindred　spirits
from　the　first　time　he　had　seen　her；　on　the　Common；　he　had　known　this。
She　scarcely　heard　him；　she　was　thinking　of　Ditmar；　and　this　was　why　she
had　led　Rolfe　into　Warren　Street　they　might　meet　Ditmar！　　It　was　possible
that　he　would　be　going　to　the　mill　at　this　time；　after　his　dinner！　　She
scrutinized　every　distant　figure；　and　when　they　reached　the　block　in
which　he　lived　she　walked　more　slowly。　　From　within　the　house　came　to
her；　faintly；　the　notes　of　a　pianohis　daughter　Amy　was　practising。　　It
was　the　music；　a　hackneyed　theme　of　Schubert's　played　heavily；　that
seemed　to　arouse　the　composite　emotion　of　anger　and　hatred；　yet　of
sustained　attraction　and　wild　regret　she　had　felt　before；　but　never　so
poignantly　as　now。　　And　she　lingered；　perversely　resolved　to　steep
herself　in　the　agony。

〃Who　lives　here〃　Rolfe　asked。

〃Mr。　Ditmar；〃　she　answered。

〃The　agent　of　the　Chippering　Mill？〃

She　nodded。

〃He's　the　worst　of　the　lot；〃　Rolfe　said　angrily。　　〃If　it　weren't　for　him；
we'd　have　this　strike　won　to…day。　　He　owns　this　town；　he's　run　it　to　suit
himself；　He　stiffens　up　the　owners　and　holds　the　other　mills　in　line。
He's　a　type；　a　driver；　the　kind　of　man　we　must　get　rid　of。　　Look　at　him
he　lives　in　luxury　while　his　people　are　starving。〃

〃Get　rid　of！〃　repeated　Janet；　in　an　odd　voice。

〃Oh；　I　don't　mean　to　shoot　him；〃　Rolfe　declared。　　〃But　he　may　get　shot；
for　all　I　know；　by　some　of　these　slaves　he's　made　desperate。〃

〃They　wouldn't　dare　shoot　him；〃　Janet　said。　　〃And　whatever　he　is；　he
isn't　a　coward。　　He's　stronger　than　the　others；　he's　more　of　a　man。〃

Rolfe　looked　at　her　curiously。

〃What　do　you　know　about　him？〃　he　asked。

〃II　know　all　about　him。　　I　was　his　stenographer。〃

〃You！　　His　stenographer！　　Then　why　are　you　herewith　us？〃

〃Because　I　hate　him！〃　she　cried　vehemently。　　〃Because　I've　learned　that
it's　truewhat　you　say　about　the　mastersthey　only　think　of　themselves
and　their　kind；　and　not　of　us。　　They　use　us。〃

〃He　tried　to　use　you！　　You　loved　him！〃

〃How　dare　you　say　that！〃

He　fell　back　before　her　anger。

〃I　didn't　mean　to　offend　you；〃　he　exclaimed。　　〃I　was　jealousI'm　jealous
of　every　man　you've　known。　　I　want　you。　　I've　never　met　a　woman　like
you。〃

They　were　the　very　words　Ditmar　had　used！　　She　did　not　answer；　and　for　a
while　they　walked　along　in　silence；　leaving　Warren　Street　and　cutting
across　the　city　until　they　canoe　in　sight　of　the　Common。　　Rolfe　drew
nearer　to　her。

〃Forgive　me！〃　he　pleaded。　　〃You　know　I　would　not　offend　you。　　Come；　we'll
have　supper　together；　and　I　will　teach　you　more　of　what　you　have　to
know。〃

〃Where？〃　she　asked。

〃At　the　Hamptonit　is　a　little　cafe　where　we　all　go。　　Perhaps　you've
been　there。〃

〃No；〃　said　Janet。

〃It　doesn't　compare　with　the　cafes　of　Europeor　of　New　York。　　Perhaps　we
shall　go　to　them　sometime；　together。　　But　it　is　cosy；　and　warm；　and　all
the　leaders　will　be　there。　　You'll　comeyes？〃

〃Yes；　I'll　come；〃　she　said。。。。

The　Hampton　was　one　of　the　city's　second…class　hotels；　but　sufficiently
pretentious　to　have；　in　its　basement；　a　〃cafe〃　furnished　in　the　〃mission〃
style　of　brass　tacks　and　dull　red　leather。　　In　the　warm；　food…scented　air
fantastic　wisps　of　smoke　hung　over　the　groups；　among　them　Janet　made　out
several　of　the　itinerant　leaders　of　Syndicalism；　loose…tied；　debonnair；
giving　a　tremendous　impression　of　freedom　as　they　laughed　and　chatted
with　the　women。　　For　there　were　women；　ranging　from　the　redoubtable
Nellie　Bond　herself　down　to　those　who　may　be　designated　as　campfollowers。
Rolfe；　as　he　led　Janet　to　a　table　in　a　corner　of　the　room；　greeted　his
associates　with　easy　camaraderie。　　From　Miss　Bond　he　received　an
illuminating　smile。　　Janet　wondered　at　her　striking　good　looks；　at　the
boldness　and　abandon　with　which　she　talked　to　Jastro　or　exchanged　sallies
across　the　room。　　The　atmosphere　of　this　tawdry　resort；　formerly
frequented　by　shop　girls　and　travelling　salesmen；　was　magically
transformed　by　the　presence　of　this　company；　made　bohemian；　cosmopolitan；
exhilarating。　　And　Janet；　her　face　flushed；　sat　gazing　at　the　scene；
while　Rolfe　consulted　the　bill　of　fare　and　chose　a　beefsteak　and　French
fried　potatoes。　　The　apathetic　waiter　in　the　soiled　linen　jacket　he
addressed　as　〃comrade。〃　　Janet　protested　when　he　ordered　cocktails。

〃You　must　learn　to　live；　to　relax；　to　enjoy　yourself；〃　he　declared。

But　a　horror　of　liquor　held　her　firm　in　her　refusal。　　Rolfe　drank　his；
and　while　they　awaited　the　beefsteak　she　was　silent；　the　prey　of　certain
misgivings　that　suddenly　assailed　her。　　Lise；　she　remembered；　had
sometimes　mentioned　this　place；　though　preferring　Gruber's：　and　she　was
struck　by　the　contrast　between　this　spectacle　and　the　grimness　of　the
strike　these　people　had　come　to　encourage　and　sustain；　the　conflict　in
the　streets；　the　suffering　in　the　tenements。　　She　glanced　at　Rolfe；
noting　the　manner　in　which　he　smoked　cigarettes；　sensually；　as　though
seeking　to　wring　out　of　each　all　there　was　to　be　got　before　flinging　it
down　and　lighting　another。　　Again　she　was　struck　by　the　anomaly　of　a
religion　that　had　indeed　enthusiasms；　sacrifices　perhaps；　but　no
disciplines。　　He　threw　it　out　in　snatches；　this　religion；　while　relating
the　histories　of　certain　persons　in　the　room：　of　Jastro；　for　instance；
letting　fall　a　hint　to　the　effect　that　this　evangelist　and　bliss　Bond
were　dwelling　together　in　more　than　amity。

〃Then　you　don't　believe　in　marriage？〃　she　demanded；　suddenly。

Rolfe　laughed。

〃What　is　it；〃　he　exclaimed；　〃but　the　survival　of　the　system　of　property？
It's　slavery；　taboo；　a　device　upheld　by　the　master　class　to　keep　women　in
bondage；　in　superstition；　by　inducing　them　to　accept　it　as　a　decree　of
God。

Did　the　masters　themselves　ever　respect　it；　or　any　other　decrees　of　God
they　preached　to　the　slaves？　　Read　history；　and　you　will　see。　　They　had
their　loves；　their　mistresses。　　Read　the　newspapers；　and　you　will　find
out　whether　they　respect　it　to…day。　　But　they　are　very　anxious　to　have
you　and　me　respect　it　and　all　the　other　Christian　commandments；　because
they　will　prevent　us　from　being　discontented。　　They　say　that　we　must　be
satisfied　with　the　situation　in　this　world　in　which　God　has　placed　us；
and　we　shall　have　our　reward　in　the　next。〃

She　shivered　slightly；　not　only　at　the　ideas　thus　abruptly　enunciated；
but　because　it　occurred　to　her　that　those　others　must　be　taking　for
granted　a　certain　relationship　between　herself　and　Rolfe。。。。　　But
presently；　when　the　supper　arrived；　these　feelings　changed。　　She　was　very
hungry；　and　the　effect　of　the　food；　of　the　hot　coffee　was　to　dispel　her
doubt　and　repugnance；　to　throw　a　glamour　over　the　adventure；　to　restore
to　Rolfe's　arguments　an　exciting　and　alluring　appeal。　　And　with　renewed
physical　energy　she　began　to　experience　once　more　a　sense　of　fellowship
with　these　free　and　daring　spirits　who　sought　to　avenge　her　wrongs　and
theirs。

〃For　us　who　create　there　are　no　rules　of　conduct；　no　conventions；〃　Rolfe
was　saying；　〃we　do　not　care　for　the　opinions　of　the　middle　class；　of　the
bourgeois。　　With　us　men　and　women　are　on　an　equality。　　It　is　fear　that
has　kept　the　workers　down；　and　now　we　have　cast　that　offwe　know　our
strength。　　As　they　say　in　Italy；　il　mondo　e　a　chi　se　lo　piglia；　the　world
belongs　to　him　who　is　bold。〃

〃Italian　is　a　beautiful　language；〃　she　exclaimed。

〃I　will　teach　you　Italian；〃　he　said。

〃I　want　to　learnso　much！〃　she　sighed。

〃Your　soul　is　parched；〃　he　said；　in　a　commiserating　tone。　　〃I　will　water
it；　I　will　teach　you　everything。〃　　His　words　aroused　a　faint；　derisive
echo：　Ditmar　had　wish　to　teach　her；　too！　　But　now　she　was　strongly　under
the　spell　of　the　new　ideas　hovering　like　shining；　gossamer　spirits　just
beyond　her　reach；　that　she　sought　to　grasp　and　correlate。　　Unlike　the
code　which　Rolfe　condemned；　they　seemed　not　to　be　separate　from　life；
opposed　to　it；　but　entered　even　into　that　most　important　of　its　elements；
sex。　　In　deference　to　that　other　code　Ditmar　had　made　her　his　mistress；
and　because　he　was　concerned　for　his　position　and　the　security　of　the
ruling　class　had　sought　to　hide　the　fact。。。。　　Rolfe；　with　a　cigarette
between　his　red　lips；　sat　back　in　his　chair；　regarding　with　sensuous
enjoyment　the　evident　effect　of　his　arguments。

〃But　love？〃　she　interrupted；　when　presently　he　had　begun　to　talk　again。
She　strove　inarticulately　to　express　an　innate　feminine　objection　to
relationships　that　were　made　and　broken　at　pleasure。

〃Love　is　nothing　but　attraction　between　the　sexes；　the　life…force　working
in　us。　　And　when　that　attraction　ceases；　what　is　left？　　Bondage。　　The
hideous　bondage　of　Christian　marriage；　in　which　women　promise　to　love　and
obey　forever。〃

〃But　womenwomen　are　not　like　men。　　When　once　they　give　themselves　they
do　not　so　easily　cease　to　love。　　Theythey　suffer。〃

He　did　not　seem　to　observe　the　bitterness　in　her　voice。

〃Ah；　that　is　sentiment；〃　he　declared；　〃something　that　will　not　trouble
women　when　they　have　work　to　do；　inspiring　work。　　It　takes　time　to　change
our　ideas；　to　learn　to　see　things　as　they　are。〃　　He　leaned　forward
eagerly。　　〃But　you　will　learn；　you　are　like　some　of　those　rare　women　in
history　who　have　had　the　courage　to　cast　off　traditions。　　You　were　not
made　to　be　a　drudge。。。。〃

But　now　her　own　words；　not　his；　were　ringing　in　her　headwomen