the dwelling place of ligh-第24章

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It's　dark　and　ugly；　it　only　has　four　rooms；　and　it　smells　of　cooking。　　You
couldn't　come　theredon't　you　see　how　impossible　it　is？　　And　you　wouldn't　care
to　be　talked　about　yourself；　either；〃　she　added　vehemently。

This　defiant　sincerity　took　him　aback。　　He　groped　for　words。

〃Listen！〃　he　urged。　　〃I　don't　want　to　do　anything　you　wouldn't　like；　and
honestly　I　don't　know　what　I'd　do　if　you　left　me。　　I've　come　to　depend　on　you。
And　you　may　not　believe　it；　but　when　I　got　that　Bradlaugh　order　I　thought　of
you；　I　said　to　myself　'She'll　be　pleased；　she'll　help　me　to　put　it　over。'〃

She　thrilled　at　this；　she　even　suffered　him；　for　some　reason　unknown　to
herself；　to　take　her　arm　again。

〃How　could　I　help　you？〃

〃Oh；　in　a　thousand　waysyou　ought　to　know；　you　do　a　good　deal　of　thinking　for
me；　and　you　can　help　me　by　just　being　there。　　I　can't　explain　it；　but　I　feel
somehow　that　things　will　go　right。　　I've　come　to　depend　on　you。〃

He　was　a　little　surprised　to　find　himself　saying　these　things　he　had　not
intended　to　say；　and　the　lighter　touch　he　had　always　possessed　in　dealing　with
the　other　sex；　making　him　the　envied　of　his　friends；　had　apparently　abandoned
him。　　He　was　appalled　at　the　possibility　of　losing　her。

〃I've　never　met　a　woman　like　you；〃　he　went　on；　as　she　remained　silent。　　〃You're
differentI　don't　know　what　it　is　about　you；　but　you　are。〃　　His　voice　was　low；
caressing；　his　head　was　bent　down　to　her；　his　shoulder　pressed　against　her
shoulder。　　〃I've　never　had　a　woman　friend　before；　I've　never　wanted　one　until
now。〃

She　wondered　about　his　wife。

〃You've　got　brainsI've　never　met　a　woman　with　brains。〃

〃Oh；　is　that　why？〃　she　exclaimed。

〃You're　beautiful；〃　he　whispered。　　〃It's　queer；　but　I　didn't　know　it　at　first。
You're　more　beautiful　to…night　than　I've　ever　seen　you。〃

They　had　come　almost　to　Warren　Street。　　Suddenly　realizing　that　they　were
standing　in　the　light；　that　people　were　passing　to　and　fro　over　the　end　of　the
bridge；　she　drew　away　from　him　once　more；　this　time　more　gently。

〃Let's　walk　back　a　little　way；〃　he　proposed。

〃I　must　go　homeit's　late。〃

〃It's　only　nine　o'clock。〃

〃I　have　an　errand　to　do；　and　they'll　expect　me。　　Good　night。〃

〃Just　one　more　turn！〃　he　pleaded。

But　she　shook　her　head；　backing　away　from　him。

〃You'll　see　me　to…morrow；〃　she　told　him。　　She　didn't　know　why　she　said　that。
She　hurried　along　Warren　Street　without　once　looking　over　her　shoulder；　her
feet　seemed　scarcely　to　touch　the　ground；　the　sound　of　music　was　in　her　ears；
the　lights　sparkled。　　She　had　had　an　adventure；　at　last；　an　adventure　that
magically　had　transformed　her　life！　　She　was　beautiful！　　No　one　had　ever　told
her　that　before。　　And　he　had　said　that　he　needed　her。　　She　smiled　as；　with　an
access　of　tenderness；　in　spite　of　his　experience　and　power　she　suddenly　felt
years　older　than　Ditmar。　　She　could　help　him！。。。

She　was　breathless　when　she　reached　the　shop　in　Faber　Street。

〃I　hope　I　haven't　kept　you　waiting；〃　she　said。


〃Oh　no；　we　don't　close　until　ten；〃　answered　the　saleswoman。　　She　was　seated
quietly　sewing　under　the　lamp。

〃I　wonder　whether　you'd　mind　if　I　put　on　my　old　suit　again；　and　carried　this？〃
Janet　asked。

The　expression　of　sympathy　and　understanding　in　the　woman's　eyes；　as　she　rose；
brought　the　blood　swiftly　to　Janet's　face。　　She　felt　that　her　secret　had　been
guessed。　　The　change　effected；　Janet　went　homeward　swiftly；　to　encounter；　on
the　corner　of　Faber　Street；　her　sister　Lise；　whose　attention　was　immediately
attracted　by　the　bundle。

〃What　have　you　got　there；　angel　face？〃　she　demanded。

〃A　new　suit；〃　said　Janet。

〃You　don't　tell　mewhere'd　you　get　it？　at　the　Paris？〃

〃No；　at　Dowling's。〃

〃Say；　I'll　bet　it　was　that　plain　blue　thing　marked　down　to　twenty！〃

〃Well；　what　if　it　was？〃

Lise；　when　surprised　or　scornful；　had　a　peculiarly　irritating　way　of　whistling
through　her　teeth。

〃Twenty　bucks！　　Gee；　you'll　be　getting　your　clothes　in　Boston　next。　　Well；　as
sure　as　I　live　when　I　went　by　that　window　the　other　day　when　they　first　knocked
it　down　I　said　to　Sadie；　‘those　are　the　rags　Janet　would　buy　if　she　had　the
ready。'　　Have　you　got　another　raise　out　of　Ditmar？〃

〃If　I　have；　it　isn't　any　business　of　yours；〃　Janet　retorted。　　〃I've　got　a　right
to　do　as　I　please　with　my　own　money。〃

〃Oh　sure；〃　said　Lise；　and　added　darkly：　〃I　guess　Ditmar　likes　to　see　you　look
well。〃

After　this　Janet　refused　obstinately　to　speak　to　Lise；　to　answer；　when　they
reached　home；　her　pleadings　and　complaints　to　their　mother　that　Janet　had
bought　a　new　suit　and　refused　to　exhibit　it。　　And　finally；　when　they　had　got　to
bed；　Janet　lay　long　awake　in　passionate　revolt　against　this　new　expression　of
the　sordidness　and　lack　of　privacy　in　which　she　was　forced　to　live；　made　the
more　intolerable　by　the　close；　sultry　darkness　of　the　room　and　the　snoring　of
Lise。

In　the　morning；　however；　after　a　groping　period　of　semiconsciousness　during　the
ringing　of　the　bells；　the　siren　startled　her　into　awareness　and　alertness。　　It
had　not　wholly　lost　its　note　of　terror；　but　the　note　had　somehow　become
exhilarating；　an　invitation　to　adventure　and　to　life；　and　Lise's　sarcastic
comments　as　to　the　probable　reasons　why　she　did　not　put　on　the　new　suit　had
host　their　power　of　exasperation。　　Janet　compromised；　wearing　a　blouse　of　china
silk　hitherto　reserved　for　〃best。〃　　The　day　was　bright；　and　she　went　rapidly
toward　the　mill；　glorying　in　the　sunshine　and　the　autumn　sharpness　of　the　air；
and　her　thoughts　were　not　so　much　of　Ditmar　as　of　something　beyond　him；　of
which　he　was　the　medium。　　She　was　going；　not　to　meet　him；　but　to　meet　that。
When　she　reached　the　office　she　felt　weak；　her　fingers　trembled　as　she　took　off
her　hat　and　jacket　and　began　to　sort　out　the　mail。　　And　she　had　to　calm　herself
with　the　assurance　that　her　relationship　with　Ditmar　had　undergone　no　change。
She　had　merely　met　him　by　the　canal；　and　he　had　talked　to　her。　　That　was　all。
He　had；　of　course；　taken　her　arm：　it　tingled　when　she　remembered　it。　　But　when
he　suddenly　entered　the　room　her　heart　gave　a　bound。　　He　closed　the　door；　he
took　off　his　hat；　and　stood　gazing　at　herwhile　she　continued　arranging
letters。　　Presently　she　was　forced　to　glance　at　him。　　His　bearing；　his　look；
his　confident　smile　all　proclaimed　that　he；　at　least；　believed　things　to　be
changed。　　He　glowed　with　health　and　vigour；　with　an　aggressiveness　from　which
she　shrank；　yet　found　delicious。

〃How　are　you　this　morning？〃　　he　said　at　lastthis　morning　as　distinguished
from　all　other　mornings。

〃I'm　well；　as　usual；〃　she　answered。　　She　herself　was　sometimes　surprised　by　her
ability　to　remain　outwardly　calm。

〃Why　did　you　run　away　from　me　last　night？〃

〃I　didn't　run　away；　I　had　to　go　home；〃　she　said；　still　arranging　the　letters。

〃We　could　have　had　a　little　walk。　　I　don't　believe　you　had　to　go　home　at　all。
You　just　wanted　an　excuse　to　get　away　from　me。〃

〃I　didn't　need　an　excuse；〃　she　told　him。　　He　moved　toward　her；　but　she　took　a
paper　from　the　desk　and　carried　it　to　a　file　across　the　room。

〃I　thought　we　were　going　to　be　friends；〃　he　said。

〃Being　friends　doesn't　mean　being　foolish；〃　she　retorted。　　〃And　Mr。　Orcutt's
waiting　to　see　you。〃

〃Let　him　wait。〃

He　sat　down　at　his　desk；　but　his　blood　was　warm；　and　he　read　the　typewritten
words　of　the　topmost　letter　of　the　pile　without　so　much　as　grasping　the　meaning
of　them。　　From　time　to　time　he　glanced　up　at　Janet　as　she　flitted　about　the
room。　　By　George；　she　was　more　desirable　than　he　had　ever　dared　to　imagine！　　He
felt　temporarily　balked；　but　hopeful。　　On　his　way　to　the　mill　he　had　dwelt　with
Epicurean　indulgence　on　this　sight　of　her；　and　he　had　not　been　disappointed。
He　had　also　thought　that　he　might　venture　upon　more　than　the　mere　feasting　of
his　eyes；　yet　found　an　inspiring　alleviation　in　the　fact　that　she　by　no　means
absolutely　repulsed　him。　　Her　attitude　toward　him　had　undergone　a　subtle
transformation。　　There　could　be　no　doubt　of　that。　　She　was　almost　coquettish。
His　eyes　lingered。　　The　china　silk　blouse　was　slightly　open　at　the　neck；
suggesting　the　fullness　of　her　throat；　it　clung　to　the　outline　of　her
shoulders。　　Overcome　by　an　impulse　he　could　not　control；　he　got　up　and　went
toward　her；　but　she　avoided　him。

〃I'll　tell　Mr。　Orcutt　you've　come；〃　she　said；　rather　breathlessly；　as　she
reached　the　door　and　opened　it。　　Ditmar　halted　in　his　steps　at　the　sight　of　the
tall；　spectacled　figure　of　the　superintendent　on　the　threshold。

Orcutt　hesitated；　looking　from　one　to　the　other。

〃I've　been　waiting　for　you；〃　he　said；　after　a　moment；　〃the　rest　of　that　lot
didn't　come　in　this　morning。　　I've　telephoned　to　the　freight　agent。〃

Ditmar　stared　at　him　uncomprehendingly。　　Orcutt　repeated　the　information。

〃Oh　well；　keep　after　him；　get　him　to　trace　them。〃

〃I'm　doing　that；〃　replied　the　conscientious　Orcutt。

〃How's　everything　else　going？〃　Ditmar　demanded；　with　unlooked…for　geniality。
〃You　mustn't　take　things　too　hard；　Orcutt；　don't　wear　yourself　out。〃

Mr。　Orcutt　was　relieved。　　He　had　expected　an　outburst　of　the　exasperation　that
lately　had　characterized　his　superior。　　They　began　to　chat。　　Janet　had　escaped。

〃Miss　Bumpus　told　me　you　wanted　to　see　me。　　I　was　just　going　to　ring　you　up；〃
Ditmar　informed　him。

〃She's　a　clever　young　woman；　seems　to　take　such　an　interest　in　things；〃　Orcutt
observed。　　〃And　she's　always　on　the　job。　　Only　yesterday　I　saw　her　going
through　the　mill　with　young　Caldwell。〃

Ditmar　dropped　the　paper…weight　he　held。

〃Oh；　she　went　through；　did　she？〃

After　Orcutt　departed　he　sat　for　awhile　whistling　a　tune；　from　a　popular
musical　play；　keeping　time　by　drumming　with　his　fingers　on　the　desk。

That　Mr。　Semple；　the　mill　treasurer；　came　down　from　Boston　that　morning　to
confer　with　Ditmar　was　for　Janet　in　the　nature　of　a　reprieve。　　She　sat　by　her
window；　and　as　her　fingers　flew　over　the　typewriter　keys　she　was　swept　by
surges　of　heat　in　which　ecstasy　and　shame　and　terror　were　strangely　commingled。
A　voice　within　her　said；　〃This　can't　go　on；　this　can't　go　on！　　It's　too
terrible！　　Everyone　in　the　office　will　notice　itthere　will　be　a　scandal。　　I
ought　to　go　away　while　there　is　yet　timeto…day。〃　　Though　the　instinct　of
flight　was　strong　within　her；　she　was　filled　with　rebellion　at　the　thought　of
leaving　when　Adventure　was　flooding　her　drab　world　with　light；　even　as　the　mill
across　the　waters　was　transfigured　by　the　heavy　golden　wash　of　the　autumn　sun。
She　had　made　at　length　the　discovery　that　Adventure　had　to　do　with　Man；　was
inconceivable　without　him。

Racked　by　these　conflicting　impulses　of　self…preservation　on　the　one　hand　and
what　seemed　self…realization　on　the　other；　she　started　when；　toward　the　middle
of　the　afternoon；　she　heard　Ditmar's　voice　summoning　her　to　take　his　letters；
and　went　palpitating；　leaving　the　door　open　behind　her；　seating　herself　on　the
far　side　of　the　desk；　her　head　bent　over　her　book。　　Her　neck；　where　her　hair
grew　in　wisps　behind　her　ear；　seemed　to　burn：　Ditmar's　glance　was　focussed
there。　　Her　hands　were　cold　as　she　wrote。。。。　　Then；　like　a　deliverer；　she　saw
young　Caldwell　coming　in　from　the　outer　office；　holding　a　card　in　his　hand
which　he　gave　to　Ditmar；　who　sat　staring　a