the dwelling place of ligh-第17章

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not　to　be　denied。

On　summer　evenings　it　had　been　Ditmar's　habit　when　in　Hampton　to　stroll　about
his　lawn；　from　time　to　time　changing　the　position　of　the　sprinkler；　smoking　a
cigar；　and　reflecting　pleasantly　upon　his　existence。　　His　house；　as　he　gazed　at
it　against　the　whitening　sky；　was　an　eminently　satisfactory　abode；　his　wife　was
dead；　his　children　gave　him　no　trouble；　he　felt　a　glow　of　paternal　pride　in　his
son　as　the　boy　raced　up　and　down　the　sidewalk　on　a　bicycle；　George　was　manly；
large　and　strong　for　his　age；　and　had　a　domineering　way　with　other　boys　that
gave　Ditmar　secret　pleasure。　　Of　Amy；　who　was　showing　a　tendency　to　stoutness；
and　who　had　inherited　her　mother's　liking　for　candy　and　romances；　Ditmar
thought　scarcely　at　all：　he　would　glance　at　her　as　she　lounged；　reading；　in　a
chair　on　the　porch；　but　she　did　not　come　within　his　range　of　problems。　　He　had；
in　short；　everything　to　make　a　reasonable　man　content；　a　life　nicely　compounded
of　sustenance；　pleasure；　and　business；business　naturally　being　the　greatest
of　these。　　He　wasthough　he　did　not　know　itethically　and　philosophically
right　in　squaring　his　morals　with　his　occupation；　and　his　had　been　the　good
fortune　to　live　in　a　world　whose　codes　and　conventions　had　been　carefully
adjusted　to　the　pursuit　of　that　particular　brand　of　happiness　he　had　made　his
own。　　Why；　then；　in　the　name　of　that　happiness；　of　the　peace　and　sanity　and
pleasurable　effort　it　had　brought　him；　had　he　allowed　and　even　encouraged　the
advent　of　a　new　element　that　threatened　to　destroy　the　equilibrium　achieved？　an
element　refusing　to　be　classified　under　the　head　of　property；　since　it　involved
something　he　desired　and　could　not　buy？　　A　woman　who　was　not　property；　who
resisted　the　attempt　to　be　turned　into　property；　was　an　anomaly　in　Ditmar's
universe。　　He　had　not；　of　course；　existed　for　more　than　forty　years　without
having　heard　and　read　of　and　even　encountered　in　an　acquaintance　or　two　the
species　of　sex　attraction　sentimentally　called　love　that　sometimes　made　fools
of　men　and　played　havoc　with　more　important　affairs；　but　in　his　experience　it
had　never　interfered　with　his　sanity　or　his　appetite　or　the　Chippering　Mill：　it
had　never　made　his　cigars　taste　bitter；　it　had　never　caused　a　deterioration　in
the　appreciation　of　what　he　had　achieved　and　held。　　But　now　he　was　experiencing
strange　symptoms　of　an　intensity　out　of　all　proportion　to　that　of　former
relations　with　the　other　sex。　　What　was　most　unusual　for　him；　he　was　alarmed
and　depressed；　at　moments　irritable。　　He　regretted　the　capricious　and
apparently　accidental　impulse　that　had　made　him　pretend　to　tinker　with　his
automobile　that　day　by　the　canal；　that　had　led　him　to　the　incomparable　idiocy
of　getting　rid　of　Miss　Ottway　and　installing　the　disturber　of　his　peace　as　his
private　stenographer。

What　the　devil　was　it　in　her　that　made　him　so　uncomfortable？　　When　in　his
office　he　had　difficulty　in　keeping　his　mind　on　matters　of　import；　he　would
watch　her　furtively　as　she　went　about　the　room　with　the　lithe　and　noiseless
movements　that　excited　him　the　more　because　he　suspected　beneath　her　outward
and　restrained　demeanour　a　fierceness　he　craved　yet　feared。　　He　thought　of　her
continually　as　a　panther；　a　panther　he　had　caught　and　could　not　tame；　he　hadn't
even　caught　her；　since　she　might　escape　at　any　time。　　He　took　precautions　not
to　alarm　her。　　When　she　brushed　against　him　he　trembled。　　Continually　she
baffled　and　puzzled　him；　and　he　never　could　tell　of　what　she　was　thinking。　　She
represented　a　whole　set　of　new　and　undetermined　values　for　which　he　had　no
precedents；　and　unlike　every　woman　he　had　knownincluding　his　wifeshe　had　an
integrity　of　her　own；　seemingly　beyond　the　reach　of　all　influences　economic　and
social。　　All　the　more　exasperating；　therefore；　was　a　propinquity　creating　an
intimacy　without　substance；　or　without　the　substance　he　craved　for　she　had
magically　become　for　him　a　sort　of　enveloping；　protecting　atmosphere。　　In　an
astonishingly　brief　time　he　had　fallen　into　the　habit　of　talking　things　over
with　her；　naturally　not　affairs　of　the　first　importance；　but　matters　such　as
the　economy　of　his　time：　when；　for　instance；　it　was　most　convenient　for　him　to
go　to　Boston；　and　he　would　find　that　she　had　telephoned；　without　being　told；　to
the　office　there　when　to　expect　him；　to　his　chauffeur　to　be　on　hand。　　He　never
had　to　tell　her　a　thing　twice；　nor　did　she　interruptas　Miss　Ottway　sometimes
had　donethe　processes　of　his　thought。　　Without　realizing　it　he　fell　into　the
habit　of　listening　for　the　inflections　of　her　voice；　and　though　he　had　never
lacked　the　power　of　making　decisions；　she　somehow　made　these　easier　for　him
especially　if；　a　human　equation　were　involved。

He　had；　at　least；　the　consolationif　it　were　oneof　reflecting　that　his
reputation　was　safe；　that　there　would　be　no　scandal；　since　two　are　necessary　to
make　the　kind　of　scandal　he　had　always　feared；　and　Miss　Bumpus；　apparently；　had
no　intention　of　being　the　second　party。　　Yet　she　was　not　virtuous；　as　he　had
hitherto　defined　the　word。　　Of　this　he　was　sure。　　No　woman　who　moved　about　as
she　did；　who　had　such　an　effect　on　him；　who　had　on　occasions；　though
inadvertently；　returned　the　lightning　of　his　glances；　whose　rare　laughter
resembled　grace　notes；　and　in　whose　hair　was　that　almost　imperceptible　kink；
could　be　virtuous。　　This　instinctive　conviction　inflamed　him。　　For　the　first
time　in　his　life　he　began　to　doubt　the　universal　conquering　quality　of　his　own
charms；and　when　such　a　thing　happens　to　a　man　like　Ditmar　he　is　in　danger　of
hell…fire。　　He　indulged　less　and　less　in　the　convivial　meetings　and　excursions
that　hitherto　had　given　him　relaxation　and　enjoyment；　and　if　his　cronies
inquired　as　to　the　reasons　for　his　neglect　of　them　he　failed　to　answer　with　his
usual　geniality。

〃Everything　going　all　right　up　at　the　mills；　Colonel？〃　he　was　asked　one　day　by
Mr。　Madden；　the　treasurer　of　a　large　shoe　company；　when　they　met　on　the　marble
tiles　of　the　hall　in　their　Boston　club。

〃All　right。　　Why？〃

〃Well；〃　replied　Madden；　conciliatingly；　〃you　seem　kind　of　preoccupied；　that's
all。　　I　didn't　know　but　what　the　fifty…four　hour　bill　the　legislature's　just
put　through　might　be　worrying　you。〃

〃We'll　handle　that　situation　when　the　time　comes；〃　said　Ditmar。　　He　accepted　a
gin　rickey；　but　declined　rather　curtly　the　suggestion　of　a　little　spree　over
Sunday　to　a　resort　on　the　Cape　which　formerly　he　would　have　found　enticing。　　On
another　occasion　he　encountered　in　the　lobby　of　the　Parker　House　a　more
intimate　friend；　Chester　Sprole；　sallow；　self…made；　somewhat　corpulent；　one　of
those　lawyers　hail　fellows　well　met　in　business　circles　and　looked　upon　askance
by　the　Brahmins　of　their　profession；　more　than　half　politician；　he　had　been　in
Congress；　and　from　time　to　time　was　retained　by　large　business　interests
because　of　his　persuasive　gifts　with　committees　of　the　legislaturethough
these　had　been　powerless　to　avert　the　recent　calamity　of　the　women　and
children's　fifty…four　hour　bill。　　Mr。　Sprole's　hair　was　prematurely　white；　and
the　crow's…feet　at　the　corners　of　his　eyes　were　not　the　result　of　legal
worries。

〃Hullo；　Dit；〃　he　said　jovially。

〃Hullo；　Ches；〃　said　Ditmar。

〃Now　you're　the　very　chap　I　wanted　to　see。　　Where　have　you　been　keeping
yourself　lately？　　Come　out　to　the　farm　to…night；same　of　the　boys'll　be
there。〃　　Mr。　Sprole；　like　many　a　self…made　man；　was　proud　of　his　farm；　though
he　did　not　lead　a　wholly　bucolic　existence。

〃I　can't；　Ches；〃　answered　Ditmar。　　〃I've　got　to　go　back　to　Hampton。〃

This　statement　Mr。　Sprole　unwisely　accepted　as　a　fiction。　　He　took　hold　of
Ditmar's　arm。

〃A　ladyehwhat？〃

〃I've　got　to　go　back　to　Hampton；〃　repeated　Ditmar；　with　a　suggestion　of
truculence　that　took　his　friend　aback。　　Not　for　worlds　would　Mr。　Sprole　have
offended　the　agent　of　the　Chippering　Mill。

〃I　was　only　joking；　Claude；〃　he　hastened　to　explain。　　Ditmar；　somewhat
mollified　but　still　dejected；　sought　the　dining…room　when　the　lawyer　had　gone。

〃All　alone　to…night；　Colonel？〃　asked　the　coloured　head　waiter；　obsequiously。

Ditmar　demanded　a　table　in　the　corner；　and　consumed　a　solitary　meal。

Very　naturally　Janet　was　aware　of　the　change　in　Ditmar；　and　knew　the　cause　of
it。　　Her　feelings　were　complicated。　　He；　the　most　important　man　in　Hampton；　the
self…sufficient；　the　powerful；　the　hitherto　distant　and　unattainable　head　of
the　vast　organization　known　as　the　Chippering　Mill；　of　which　she　was　an
insignificant　unit；　at　times　became　for　her　just　a　mana　man　for　whom　she　had
achieved　a　delicious　contempt。　　And　the　knowledge　that　she；　if　she　chose；　could
sway　and　dominate　him　by　the　mere　exercise　of　that　strange　feminine　force
within　her　was　intoxicating　and　terrifying。　　She　read　this　in　a　thousand　signs；
in　his　glances；　in　his　movements　revealing　a　desire　to　touch　her；　in　little
things　he　said；　apparently　insignificant；　yet　fraught　with　meaning；　in　a
constant　recurrence　of　the　apologetic　attitudeso　alien　to　the　Ditmar　formerly
conceivedof　which　he　had　given　evidence　that　day　by　the　canal：　and　from　this
attitude　emanated；　paradoxically；　a　virile　and　galvanic　current　profoundly
disturbing。　　Sometimes　when　he　bent　over　her　she　experienced　a　commingled
ecstasy　and　fear　that　he　would　seize　her　in　his　arms。　　Yet　the　tension　was　not
constant；　rising　and　falling　with　his　moods　and　struggles；　all　of　which　she
readunguessed　by　himas　easily　as　a　printed　page　by　the　gift　that　dispenses
with　laborious　processes　of　the　intellect。　　On　the　other　hand；　a　resentment
boiled　within　her　his　masculine　mind　failed　to　fathom。　　Stevenson　said　of　John
Knox　that　many　women　had　come　to　learn　from　him；　but　he　had　never　condescended
to　become　a　learner　in　returna　remark　more　or　less　applicable　to　Ditmar。　　She
was；　perforce；　thrilled　that　he　was　virile　and　wanted　her；　but　because　he
wanted　her　clandestinely　her　pride　revolted；divining　his　fear　of　scandal　and
hating　him　for　it　like　a　thoroughbred。　　To　do　her　justice；　marriage　never
occurred　to　her。　　She　was　not　so　commonplace。

There　were　times；　however；　when　the　tension　between　them　would　relax；　when　some
incident　occurred　to　focus　Ditmar's　interest　on　the　enterprise　that　had
absorbed　and　unified　his　life；　the　Chippering　Mill。　　One　day　in　September；　for
instance；　after　an　absence　in　New　York；　he　returned　to　the　office　late　in　the
afternoon；　and　she　was　quick　to　sense　his　elation；　to　recognize　in　him　the
restored　presence　of　the　quality　of　elan；　of　command；　of　singleness　of　purpose
that　had　characterized　him　before　she　had　become　his　stenographer。　　At　first；
as　he　read　his　mail；　he　seemed　scarcely　conscious　of　her　presence。　　She　stood
by　the　window；　awaiting　his　pleasure；　watching　the　white　mist　as　it　rolled　over
the　floor　of　the　river；　catching　glimpses　in　vivid；　saffron　blurs　of　the　lights
of　the　Arundel　Mill　on　the　farther　shore。　　Autumn　was　at　hand。　　Suddenly　she
heard　Ditmar　speaking。

〃Would　you　mind　staying　a　little　while　longer　this　evening；　Miss　Bumpus？〃

〃Not　at　all；〃　she　replied；　turning。

On　his　face　was　a　smile；　almost　boyish。

〃The　fact　is；　I　think　I've　got　hold　of　the　biggest　single　order　that　ever　came
into　any　mill　in　New　England；〃　he　declared。