thais-第26章

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on　the　eve　of　the　blessed　death；　which　God；　who　loved　him；　had　at　last
promised　him。

He　said　to　the　abbots　Ephrem　and　Serapion

〃You　command　large　armies；　and　you　are　both　great　generals。　Therefore；
you　shall　put　on　in　heaven　an　armour　of　gold；　and　the　Archangel
Michael　shall　give　you　the　title　of　kiliarchs　of　his　hosts。〃

Perceiving　the　old　man　Philemon；　he　embraced　him；　and　said

〃Behold；　the　kindest　and　best　of　all　my　children。　His　soul　exhales　a
perfume　as　sweet　as　the　flower　of　the　beans　he　sows　every　year。〃

To　Abbot　Zozimus　he　addressed　these　words

〃Thou　hast　never　mistrusted　divine　goodness；　and　therefore　the　peace
of　the　Lord　is　in　thee。　The　lily　of　thy　virtues　has　flowered　upon　the
dunghill　of　thy　corruption。〃

To　all　he　spoke　words　of　unerring　wisdom。

To　the　old　hermits　he　said

〃The　apostle　saw；　round　the　throne　of　God；　eighty　old　men　seated；　clad
in　white　robes；　and　wearing　crowns　on　their　heads。〃

To　the　young　men

〃Be　joyful；　leave　sadness　to　the　happy　ones　of　this　world。〃

Thus　he　passed　along　the　front　of　his　filial　army；　exhorting　and
comforting。　Paphnutius；　seeing　him　approach；　fell　on　his　knees；　his
heart　torn　by　fear　and　hope。

〃My　father！　my　father！〃　he　cried　in　his　agony。　〃My　father！　come　to　my
help；　for　I　perish。　I　have　given　to　God　the　soul　of　Thais；　I　have
lived　upon　the　top　of　a　column；　and　in　the　chamber　of　a　tomb。　My
forehead；　unceasingly　in　the　dust；　has　become　horny　as　a　camel's　knee。
And　yet　God　has　gone　from　me。　Bless　me；　my　father；　and　I　shall　be
saved；　shake　the　hyssop；　and　I　shall　be　washed；　and　I　shall　shine　as
the　snow。〃

Anthony　did　not　reply。　He　turned　to　the　monks　of　Antinoe　those　eyes
whose　looks　no　man　could　sustain。　He　gazed　for　a　long　time　at　Paul；
called　the　Fool；　then　he　made　a　sign　to　him　to　approach。　And；　as　all
were　astonished　that　the　saint　should　address　himself　to　a　man　who　was
not　in　his　senses；　Anthony　said

〃God　has　granted　to　him　more　grace　than　to　any　of　you。　Lift　thy　eyes；
my　son　Paul；　and　tell　me　what　thou　seest　in　heaven。〃

Paul　the　Fool　raised　his　eyes；　his　face　shone；　and　his　tongue　was
unloosed。

〃I　see　in　heaven；〃　he　said；　〃a　bed　adorned　with　hangings　of　purple　and
gold。　Around　it　three　virgins　keep　constant　watch　that　no　soul　may
approach　it；　except　the　chosen　one　for　whom　the　bed　is　prepared。〃

Believing　that　this　bed　was　the　symbol　of　his　glorification；
Paphnutius　had　already　begun　to　return　thanks　to　God。　But　Anthony　made
a　sign　to　him　to　be　silent；　and　to　listen　to　the　Fool；　who　murmured　in
his　ecstasy

〃The　three　virgins　speak　to　me；　they　say　unto　me：　'A　saint　is　about　to
quit　the　earth；　Thais　of　Alexandria　is　dying。　And　we　have　prepared　the
bed　of　her　glory；　for　we　are　her　virtuesFaith；　Fear；　and　Love。'　〃

Anthony　asked

〃Sweet　child；　what　else　seest　thou？〃

Paul　gazed　vacantly　from　the　zenith　to　the　nadir；　and　from　west　to
east；　when　suddenly　his　eyes　fell　on　the　Abbot　of　Antinoe。　His　face
grew　pale　with　a　holy　terror；　and　his　eyeballs　reflected　invisible
flames。

〃I　see；〃　he　murmured。　〃three　demons；　who；　full　of　joy；　prepare　to
seize　that　man。　One　of　them　is　like　unto　a　tower；　one　to　a　woman；　and
one　to　a　mage。　All　three　bear　their　name；　marked　with　redhot　iron；　the
first　on　the　forehead；　the　second　on　the　belly；　the　third　on　the
breast；　and　those　names　arePride；　Lust；　and　Doubt。　I　have　finished。〃

Having　spoken　thus；　Paul；　with　haggard　eyes　and　hanging　jaw；　returned
to　his　old　simple　ways。

And；　as　the　monks　of　Antinoe　looked　anxiously　at　Anthony；　the　saint
pronounced　these　words

〃God　has　made　known　His　just　judgment。　Let　us　bow　to　Him　and　hold　our
peace。〃

He　passed。　He　bestowed　blessings　as　he　went。　The　sun；　now　descended　to
the　horizon；　enveloped　him　in　its　glory；　and　his　shadow；　immeasurably
elongated　by　a　miracle　from　heaven；　unrolled　itself　behind　him　like　an
endless　carpet；　as　a　sign　of　the　long　remembrance　this　great　saint
would　leave　amongst　men。

Upright；　but　thunderstruck；　Paphnutius　saw　and　heard　nothing　more。　One
word　alone　rang　in　his　ears；　〃Thais　is　dying！〃　The　thought　had　never
occurred　to　him。　Twenty　years　had　he　contemplated　a　mummy's　head；　and
yet　the　idea　that　death　would　close　the　eyes　of　Thais　astonished　him
hopelessly。

〃Thais　is　dying！〃　An　incomprehensible　saying！　〃Thais　is　dying！〃　In
those　three　words　what　a　new　and　terrible　sense！　〃Thais　is　dying！〃
Then　why　the　sun；　the　flowers；　the　brooks；　and　all　creation？　〃Thais　is
dying！〃　What　good　was　all　the　universe？　Suddenly　he　sprang　forward。
〃To　see　her　again；　to　see　her　once　more！〃　He　began　to　run。　He　knew　not
where　he　was；　or　whither　he　went；　but　instinct　conducted　him　with
unerring　certainty；　he　went　straight　to　the　Nile。　A　swarm　of　sails
covered　the　upper　waters　of　the　river。　He　sprang　on　board　a　barque
manned　by　Nubians；　and　lying　in　the　forepart　of　the　boat；　his　eyes
devouring　space；　he　cried；　in　grief　and　rage

〃Fool；　fool；　that　I　was；　not　to　have　possessed　Thais　whilst　there　was
yet　time！　Fool　to　have　believed　that　there　was　anything　else　in　the
world　but　her！　Oh；　madness！　I　dreamed　of　God；　of　the　salvation　of　my
soul；　of　life　eternalas　if　all　that　counted　for　anything　when　I　had
seen　Thais！　Why　did　I　not　feel　that　blessed　eternity　was　in　a　single
kiss　of　that　woman；　and　that　without　her　life　was　senseless；　and　no
more　than　an　evil　dream？　Oh；　stupid　fool！　thou　hast　seen　her；　and　thou
hast　desired　the　good　things　of　the　other　world！　Oh；　coward！　thou　hast
seen　her；　and　thou　hast　feared　God！　God！　heaven！　what　are　they？　And
what　have　they　to　offer　thee　which　are　worth　the　least　tittle　of　that
which　she　would　have　given　thee？　Oh；　miserable；　senseless　fool；　who
sought　divine　goodness　elsewhere　than　on　the　lips　of　Thais！　What　hand
was　upon　thy　eyes？　Cursed　be　he　who　blinded　thee　then！　Thou　couldst
have　bought；　at　the　price　of　thy　damnation；　one　moment　of　her　love；
and　thou　hast　not　done　it！　She　opened　to　thee　her　armsflesh　mingled
with　the　perfume　of　flowersand　thou　wast　not　engulfed　in　the
unspeakable　enchantments　of　her　unveiled　breast。　Thou　hast　listened　to
the　jealous　voice　which　said　to　thee；　'Refrain！'　Dupe；　dupe；　miserable
dupe！　Oh；　regrets！　Oh；　remorse！　Oh；　despair！　Not　to　have　the　joy　to
carry　to　hell　the　memory　of　that　never…to…be…forgotten　hour；　and　to
cry　to　God；　'Burn　my　flesh；　dry　up　all　the　blood　in　my　veins；　break
all　my　bones；　thou　canst　not　take　from　me　the　remembrance　which
sweetens　and　refreshes　me　for　ever　and　ever！'　。　。　。　Thais　is　dying！
Preposterous　God；　if　thou　knewest　how　I　laugh　at　Thy　hell！　Thais　is
dying；　and　she　will　never　be　minenever！　never！〃

And　as　the　boat　came　down　the　river　with　the　current；　he　remained
whole　days　lying　on　his　face；　and　repeating

〃Never！　never！　never！〃

Then；　at　the　idea　that　she　had　given　herself　to　others；　and　not　to
him；　that　she　had　poured　forth　an　ocean　of　love；　and　he　had　not　wetted
his　lips　therein；　he　stood　up；　savagely　wild；　and　howled　with　grief。
He　tore　his　breast　with　his　nails；　and　bit　the　flesh　of　his　arms。　He
thought

〃If　I　could　but　kill　all　those　she　has　loved！〃

The　idea　of　these　murders　filled　him　with　delicious　fury。　He　dreamed
of　killing　Nicias　slowly　and　leisurely；　looking　him　full　in　the　eyes
whilst　he　murdered　him。　Then　suddenly　his　fury　melted　away。　He　wept；
he　sobbed。　He　became　feeble　and　meek。　An　unknown　tenderness　softened
his　soul。　He　longed　to　throw　his　arms　round　the　neck　of　the　companion
of　his　childhood　and　say　to　him；　〃Nicias；　I　love　thee；　because　thou
hast　loved　her。　Talk　to　me　about　her。　Tell　me　what　she　said　to　thee。〃
And　still；　without　ceasing；　the　iron　of　that　phrase　entered　into　his
soul〃Thais　is　dying！〃

〃Light　of　day；　silvery　shadows　of　night　stars；　heavens；　trees　with
trembling　crests；　savage　beasts；　domestic　animals；　all　the　anxious
souls　of　men；　do　you　not　hear？　'Thais　is　dying！'　Disappear；　ye　lights；
breezes；　and　perfumes！　Hide　yourselves；　ye　shapes　and　thoughts　of　the
universe！　'Thais　is　dying！'　She　was　the　beauty　of　the　world；　and　all
that　drew　near　to　her　grew　fairer　in　the　reflection　of　her　grace。　The
old　man　and　the　sages　who　sat　near　her；　at　the　banquet　at　Alexandria；
how　pleasant　they　were；　and　how　fascinating　was　their　conversation！　A
host　of　brilliant　thoughts　sprang　to　their　lips；　and　all　their　ideas
were　steeped　in　pleasure。　And　it　was　because　the　breath　of　Thais　was
on　them　that　all　they　said　was　love；　beauty；　truth。　A　delightful
impiety　lent　its　grace　to　their　discourse。　They　thoroughly　expressed
all　human　splendour。　Alas！　all　that　is　but　a　dream。　Thais　is　dying！
Oh；　how　easy　it　will　be　to　me　to　die　of　her　death！　But　canst　thou　only
die；　withered　embryo；　fetus　steeped　in　gall　and　scalding　tears？
Miserable　abortion；　dost　thou　think　thou　canst　taste　death；　thou　who
hast　never　known　life？　If　only　God　exists；　that　he　may　damn　me。　I　hope
for　itI　wish　it。　God；　I　hate　Theedost　Thou　hear？　Overwhelm　me　with
Thy　damnation。　To　compel　Thee　to；　I　spit　in　Thy　face。　I　must　find　an
eternal　hell；　to　exhaust　the　eternity　of　rage　which　consumes　me。〃

*****

The　next　day；　at　dawn；　Albina　received　the　Abbot　of　Antinoe　at　the
nunnery。

〃Thou　art　welcome　to　our　tabernacles　of　peace；　venerable　father；　for
no　doubt；　thou　comest　to　bless　the　saint　thou　hast　given　us。　Thou
knowest　that　God；　in　his　mercy；　has　called　her　to　Him；　how　couldst
thou　fail　to　know　tidings　that　the　angels　have　carried　from　desert　to
desert？　It　is　true　that　Thais　is　about　to　meet　her　blessed　death。　Her
labours　are　accomplished；　and　I　ought　to　inform　thee；　in　a　few　words；
as　to　her　conduct　whilst　she　was　still　amongst　us。　After　thy
departure；　when　she　was　confined　in　a　cell　sealed　with　thy　seal；　I
sent　her；　with　her　food；　a　flute；　similar　to　those　which　girls　of　her
profession　play　at　banquets。　I　did　that　to　prevent　her　from　falling
into　a　melancholy　mood；　and　that　she　should　not　show　less　skill　and
talent　before　God　than　she　had　shown　before　men。　In　this　I　showed
prudence　and　foresight；　for　all　day　long　Thais　praised　the　Lord　upon
the　flute；　and　the　virgins；　who　were　attracted　by　the　sound　of　this
invisible　flute；　said；　'We　hear　the　nightingale　of　the　heavenly
groves；　the　dying　swan　of　Jesus　crucified。'　Thus　did　Thais　perform　her
penance；　when；　after　sixty　days；　the　door　which　thou　hadst　sealed
opened　of　itself；　and　the　clay　seal　was　broken　without　being　touched
by　any　human　hand。　By　that　sign　I　knew　that　the　trial　thou　hadst
imposed　upon　her　was　at　an　end；　and　that　God　had　pardoned　the　sins　of
the　flute…player。　From　that　time　she　has　shared　the　ordinary　life　of
my　nuns；　working　and　praying　with　them。　She　was　an　example　to　them　by
the　modesty　of　her　acts　and　words；　and　seemed　like　a　statue　of　purity
amongst　them。　Sometimes　she　was　sad；　but　those　clouds　soon　passed。
When　I　saw　that　she　was　really　drawn　towards　God　by　faith；　hope；　and
love；　I　did　not　hesitate　to　employ　her　talent；　and　even　her　beauty；
for　the　improvement　of　her　sisters。　I　asked　her　to　represent　before　us
the　actions　of　the　famous　women　and　wise　virgins　of　the　Scriptures。
She　acted　Esther；　Deborah；　Judith；　Mary；　the　sister　of　Lazarus；　and
Mary；　the　mother　of　Jesus。　I　know；　venerable　father；　that　thy　austere
mind　is　alarmed　at　the　idea　of　these　performances。　But