three men on the bummel(三个闲逛的人)-第6章
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nothing there but space。 He jumped； or rather fell off； and looked back
up the road； it stretched white and straight through the dark wood； and not
a living soul could be seen upon it。 He remounted； and rode back up the
hill。 In ten minutes he came to where the road broke into four； there he
dismounted and tried to remember which fork he had come down。
While he was deliberating a man passed； sitting sideways on a horse。
Harris stopped him； and explained to him that he had lost his wife。 The
man appeared to be neither surprised nor sorry for him。 While they were
talking another farmer came along； to whom the first man explained the
matter； not as an accident； but as a good story。 What appeared to surprise
the second man most was that Harris should be making a fuss about the
thing。 He could get no sense out of either of them； and cursing them he
mounted his machine again； and took the middle road on chance。 Half…
way up； he came upon a party of two young women with one young man
between them。 They appeared to be making the most of him。 He asked
them if they had seen his wife。 They asked him what she was like。 He
did not know enough Dutch to describe her properly； all he could tell them
was she was a very beautiful woman； of medium size。 Evidently this did
not satisfy them； the description was too general； any man could say that；
and by this means perhaps get possession of a wife that did not belong to
him。 They asked him how she was dressed； for the life of him he could
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not recollect。
I doubt if any man could tell how any woman was dressed ten minutes
after he had left her。 He recollected a blue skirt； and then there was
something that carried the dress on； as it were； up to the neck。 Possibly；
this may have been a blouse； he retained a dim vision of a belt； but what
sort of a blouse？ Was it green； or yellow； or blue？ Had it a collar； or
was it fastened with a bow？ Were there feathers in her hat； or flowers？
Or was it a hat at all？ He dared not say； for fear of making a mistake and
being sent miles after the wrong party。 The two young women giggled；
which in his then state of mind irritated Harris。 The young man； who
appeared anxious to get rid of him； suggested the police station at the next
town。 Harris made his way there。 The police gave him a piece of paper；
and told him to write down a full description of his wife； together with
details of when and where he had lost her。 He did not know where he had
lost her； all he could tell them was the name of the village where he had
lunched。 He knew he had her with him then； and that they had started
from there together。
The police looked suspicious； they were doubtful about three matters：
Firstly； was she really his wife？ Secondly； had he really lost her？
Thirdly； why had he lost her？ With the aid of a hotel…keeper； however；
who spoke a little English； he overcame their scruples。 They promised to
act； and in the evening they brought her to him in a covered wagon；
together with a bill for expenses。 The meeting was not a tender one。
Mrs。 Harris is not a good actress； and always has great difficulty in
disguising her feelings。 On this occasion； she frankly admits； she made
no attempt to disguise them。
The wheel business settled； there arose the ever…lasting luggage
question。
〃The usual list； I suppose；〃 said George； preparing to write。
That was wisdom I had taught them； I had learned it myself years ago
from my Uncle Podger。
〃Always before beginning to pack；〃 my Uncle would say； 〃make a
list。〃
He was a methodical man。
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〃Take a piece of paper〃he always began at the beginning〃put down
on it everything you can possibly require； then go over it and see that it
contains nothing you can possibly do without。 Imagine yourself in bed；
what have you got on？ Very well； put it down together with a change。
You get up； what do you do？ Wash yourself。 What do you wash
yourself with？ Soap； put down soap。 Go on till you have finished。
Then take your clothes。 Begin at your feet； what do you wear on your
feet？ Boots； shoes； socks； put them down。 Work up till you get to your
head。 What else do you want besides clothes？ A little brandy； put it
down。 A corkscrew； put it down。 Put down everything； then you don't
forget anything。〃
That is the plan he always pursued himself。 The list made； he would
go over it carefully； as he always advised； to see that he had forgotten
nothing。 Then he would go over it again； and strike out everything it was
possible to dispense with。
Then he would lose the list。
Said George： 〃Just sufficient for a day or two we will take with us on
our bikes。 The bulk of our luggage we must send on from town to town。〃
〃We must be careful；〃 I said； 〃I knew a man once〃
Harris looked at his watch。
〃We'll hear about him on the boat；〃 said Harris； 〃I have got to meet
Clara at Waterloo Station in half an hour。〃
〃It won't take half an hour；〃 I said； 〃it's a true story； and〃
〃Don't waste it；〃 said George： 〃I am told there are rainy evenings in
the Black Forest； we may he glad of it。 What we have to do now is to
finish this list。〃
Now I come to think of it； I never did get off that story； something
always interrupted it。 And it really was true。
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CHAPTER III
Harris's one faultHarris and the AngelA patent bicycle lamp The
ideal saddleThe 〃Overhauler〃His eagle eyeHis methodHis cheery
confidenceHis simple and inexpensive tastesHis appearanceHow to
get rid of himGeorge as prophetThe gentle art of making oneself
disagreeable in a foreign tongueGeorge as a student of human natureHe
proposes an experimentHis Prudence Harris's support secured； upon
conditions。
On Monday afternoon Harris came round； he had a cycling paper in
his hand。
I said： 〃If you take my advice； you will leave it alone。〃
Harris said： 〃Leave what alone？〃
I said： 〃That brand…new； patent； revolution in cycling； record…
breaking； Tomfoolishness； whatever it may be； the advertisement of which
you have there in your hand。〃
He said： 〃Well； I don't know； there will be some steep hills for us to
negotiate； I guess we shall want a good brake。〃
I said： 〃We shall want a brake； I agree； what we shall not want is a
mechanical surprise that we don't understand； and that never acts when it
is wanted。〃
〃This thing；〃 he said； 〃acts automatically。〃
〃You needn't tell me；〃 I said。 〃I know exactly what it will do； by
instinct。 Going uphill it will jamb the wheel so effectively that we shall
have to carry the machine bodily。 The air at the top of the hill will do it
good； and it will suddenly come right again。 Going downhill it will start
reflecting what a nuisance it has been。 This will lead to remorse； and
finally to despair。 It will say to itself： 'I'm not fit to be a brake。 I don't
help these fellows； I only hinder them。 I'm a curse； that's what I am；' and；
without a word of warning； it will 'chuck' the whole business。 That is what
that brake will do。 Leave it alone。 You are a good fellow；〃 I continued；
〃but you have one fault。〃
〃What？〃 he asked； indignantly。
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〃You have too much faith；〃 I answered。 〃If you read an
advertisement； you go away and believe it。 Every experiment that every
fool has thought of in connection with cycling you have tried。 Your
guardian angel appears to be a capable and conscientious spirit； and
hitherto she has seen you through； take my advice and don't try her too far。
She must have had a busy time since you started cycling。 Don't go on till
you make her mad。〃
He said： 〃If every man talked like that there would be no
advancement made in any department of life。 If nobody ever tried a new
thing the world would come to a standstill。 It is by〃
〃I know all that can be said on that side of the argument；〃 I interrupted。
〃I agree in trying new experiments up to thirty…five； AFTER thirty…five I
consider a man is entitled to think of himself。 You and I have done our
duty in this direction； you especially。 You have been blown up by a patent
gas lamp〃
He said： 〃I really think； you know； that was my fault； I think I must
have screwed it up too tight。〃
I said： 〃I am quite willing to believe that if there was a wrong way of
handling the thing that is the way you handle it。 You should take that
tendency of yours into consideration； it bears upon the argument。 Myself；
I did not notice what you did； I only know we were riding peacefully and
pleasantly along the Whitby Road； discussing the Thirty Years' War； when
your lamp went off like a pistol…shot。 The start sent me into the ditch；
and your wife's face； when I told her there was nothing the matter and that
she was not to worry； because the two men would carry you upstairs； and
the doctor would be round in a minute bringing the nurse with him； still
lingers in my memory。〃
He said： 〃I wish you had thought to pick up the lamp。 I should like
to have found out what was the cause of its going off like that。〃
I said： 〃There was not time to pick up
