three men on the bummel(三个闲逛的人)-第4章
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tincture of rhubarb three times a day； forget there are such things in life as
cooks； and house decorators； and next…door dogs； and butchers' bills。 Go
away to some green corner of the earth； where all is new and strange to
you； where your over…wrought mind will gather peace and fresh ideas。
Go away for a space and give me time to miss you； and to reflect upon
your goodness and virtue； which； continually present with me； I may；
human…like； be apt to forget； as one； through use； grows indifferent to the
blessing of the sun and the beauty of the moon。 Go away； and come back
refreshed in mind and body； a brighter； better manif that be possible
than when you went away。〃
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But even when we obtain our desires they never come to us garbed as
we would wish。 To begin with； Ethelbertha did not seem to remark that I
was irritable； I had to draw her attention to it。 I said：
〃You must forgive me； I'm not feeling quite myself to…night。〃
She said： 〃Oh！ I have not noticed anything different； what's the
matter with you？〃
〃I can't tell you what it is；〃 I said； 〃I've felt it coming on for weeks。〃
〃It's that whisky；〃 said Ethelbertha。 〃You never touch it except when
we go to the Harris's。 You know you can't stand it； you have not a strong
head。〃
〃It isn't the whisky；〃 I replied； 〃it's deeper than that。 I fancy it's more
mental than bodily。〃
〃You've been reading those criticisms again；〃 said Ethelbertha； more
sympathetically； 〃why don't you take my advice and put them on the fire？〃
〃And it isn't the criticisms；〃 I answered； 〃they've been quite flattering
of lateone or two of them。〃
〃Well； what is it？〃 said Ethelbertha； 〃there must be something to
account for it。〃
〃No； there isn't；〃 I replied； 〃that's the remarkable thing about it； I can
only describe it as a strange feeling of unrest that seems to have taken
possession of me。〃
Ethelbertha glanced across at me with a somewhat curious expression；
I thought； but as she said nothing； I continued the argument myself。
〃This aching monotony of life； these days of peaceful； uneventful
felicity； they appal one。〃
〃I should not grumble at them；〃 said Ethelbertha； 〃we might get some
of the other sort； and like them still less。〃
〃I'm not so sure of that；〃 I replied。 〃In a life of continuous joy； I can
imagine even pain coming as a welcome variation。 I wonder sometimes
whether the saints in heaven do not occasionally feel the continual serenity
a burden。 To myself a life of endless bliss； uninterrupted by a single
contrasting note； would； I feel； grow maddening。 I suppose；〃 I continued；
〃I am a strange sort of man； I can hardly understand myself at times。
There are moments；〃 I added； 〃when I hate myself。〃
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Often a little speech like this； hinting at hidden depths of indescribable
emotion has touched Ethelbertha； but to…night she appeared strangely
unsympathetic。 With regard to heaven and its possible effect upon me；
she suggested my not worrying myself about that； remarking it was always
foolish to go half…way to meet trouble that might never come； while as to
my being a strange sort of fellow； that； she supposed； I could not help； and
if other people were willing to put up with me； there was an end of the
matter。 The monotony of life； she added； was a common experience；
there she could sympathise with me。
〃You don't know I long；〃 said Ethelbertha； 〃to get away occasionally；
even from you； but I know it can never be； so I do not brood upon it。〃
I had never heard Ethelbertha speak like this before； it astonished and
grieved me beyond measure。
〃That's not a very kind remark to make；〃 I said； 〃not a wifely remark。〃
〃I know it isn't；〃 she replied； 〃that is why I have never said it before。
You men never can understand；〃 continued Ethelbertha； 〃that； however
fond a woman may be of a man； there are times when he palls upon her。
You don't know how I long to be able sometimes to put on my bonnet and
go out； with nobody to ask me where I am going； why I am going； how
long I am going to be； and when I shall be back。 You don't know how I
sometimes long to order a dinner that I should like and that the children
would like； but at the sight of which you would put on your hat and be off
to the Club。 You don't know how much I feel inclined sometimes to invite
some woman here that I like； and that I know you don't； to go and see the
people that I want to see； to go to bed when _I_ am tired； and to get up
when _I_ feel I want to get up。 Two people living together are bound
both to be continually sacrificing their own desires to the other one。 It is
sometimes a good thing to slacken the strain a bit。〃
On thinking over Ethelbertha's words afterwards； have come to see
their wisdom； but at the time I admit I was hurt and indignant。
〃If your desire；〃 I said； 〃is to get rid of me〃
〃Now； don't be an old goose；〃 said Ethelbertha； 〃I only want to get rid
of you for a little while； just long enough to forget there are one or two
corners about you that are not perfect； just long enough to let me
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remember what a dear fellow you are in other respects； and to look
forward to your return； as I used to look forward to your coming in the old
days when I did not see you so often as to become； perhaps； a little
indifferent to you； as one grows indifferent to the glory of the sun； just
because he is there every day。〃
I did not like the tone that Ethelbertha took。 There seemed to be a
frivolity about her； unsuited to the theme into which we had drifted。 That
a woman should contemplate cheerfully an absence of three or four weeks
from her husband appeared to me to be not altogether nice； not what I call
womanly； it was not like Ethelbertha at all。 I was worried； I felt I didn't
want to go this trip at all。 If it had not been for George and Harris； I
would have abandoned it。 As it was； I could not see how to change my
mind with dignity。
〃Very well； Ethelbertha；〃 I replied； 〃it shall be as you wish。 If you
desire a holiday from my presence； you shall enjoy it； but if it be not
impertinent curiosity on the part of a husband； I should like to know what
you propose doing in my absence？〃
〃We will take that house at Folkestone；〃 answered Ethelbertha； 〃and
I'll go down there with Kate。 And if you want to do Clara Harris a good
turn；〃 added Ethelbertha； 〃you'll persuade Harris to go with you； and then
Clara can join us。 We three used to have some very jolly times together
before you men ever came along； and it would be just delightful to renew
them。 Do you think；〃 continued Ethelbertha； 〃that you could persuade
Mr。 Harris to go with you？〃
I said I would try。
〃There's a dear boy；〃 said Ethelbertha； 〃try hard。 You might get
George to join you。〃
I replied there was not much advantage in George's coming； seeing he
was a bachelor； and that therefore nobody would be much benefited by his
absence。 But a woman never understands satire。 Ethelbertha merely
remarked it would look unkind leaving him behind。 I promised to put it
to him。
I met Harris at the Club in the afternoon； and asked him how he had
got on。
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He said； 〃Oh； that's all right； there's no difficulty about getting away。〃
But there was that about his tone that suggested incomplete
satisfaction； so I pressed him for further details。
〃She was as sweet as milk about it；〃 he continued； 〃said it was an
excellent idea of George's； and that she thought it would do me good。〃
〃That seems all right；〃 I said； 〃what's wrong about that？〃
〃There's nothing wrong about that；〃 he answered； 〃but that wasn't all。
She went on to talk of other things。〃
〃I understand；〃 I said。
〃There's that bathroom fad of hers；〃 he continued。
〃I've heard of it；〃 I said； 〃she has started Ethelbertha on the same
idea。〃
〃Well； I've had to agree to that being put in hand at once； I couldn't
argue any more when she was so nice about the other thing。 That will cost
me a hundred pounds； at the very least。〃
〃As much as that？〃 I asked。
〃Every penny of it；〃 said Harris； 〃the estimate alone is sixty。〃
I was sorry to hear him say this。
〃Then there's the kitchen stove；〃 continued Harris； 〃everything that has
gone wrong in the house for the last two years has been the fault of that
kitchen stove。〃
〃I know；〃 I said。 〃We have been in seven houses since we were
married； and every kitchen stove has been worse than the last。 Our
present one is not only incompetent； it is spiteful。 It knows when we are
giving a party； and goes out of its way to do its worst。〃
〃WE are going to have a new one；〃 said Harris； but he did not say it
proudly。 〃Clara thought it would be such a saving of expense； having the
two things done at the same time。 I believe；〃 said Harris； 〃if a woman
wanted a diamond tiara； she would explain that it was to save the expense
of a bonnet。〃
〃How much do you reckon the stove is going to cost you？〃 I asked。 I
felt interested in the subject。
〃I don't know；〃 answered Harris； 〃another twenty； I suppose。 Then
we talked about the piano。 Could you ever notice；〃 said Harris； 〃any
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