three men on the bummel(三个闲逛的人)-第24章
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serious。〃
〃It's hereditary； so he has explained to me；〃 I answered。 〃It seems his
family have always been thirsty。〃
〃There is Apollinaris water；〃 replied Harris； 〃which； I believe； with a
little lemon squeezed into it； is practically harmless。 What I am thinking
about is his figure。 He will lose all his natural elegance。〃
We talked the matter over； and； Providence aiding us； we fixed upon a
plan。 For the ornamentation of the town a new statue had just been cast。
I forget of whom it was a statue。 I only remember that in the essentials it
was the usual sort of street statue； representing the usual sort of gentleman；
with the usual stiff neck； riding the usual sort of horsethe horse that
always walks on its hind legs； keeping its front paws for beating time。
But in detail it possessed individuality。 Instead of the usual sword or
baton； the man was holding； stretched out in his hand； his own plumed hat；
and the horse； instead of the usual waterfall for a tail； possessed a
somewhat attenuated appendage that somehow appeared out of keeping
with his ostentatious behaviour。 One felt that a horse with a tail like that
would not have pranced so much。
It stood in a small square not far from the further end of the
Karlsbrucke； but it stood there only temporarily。 Before deciding finally
where to fix it； the town authorities had resolved； very sensibly； to judge
by practical test where it would look best。 Accordingly； they had made
three rough copies of the statuemere wooden profiles； things that would
not bear looking at closely； but which； viewed from a little distance；
produced all the effect that was necessary。 One of these they had set up
at the approach to the Franz…Josefsbrucke； a second stood in the open
space behind the theatre； and the third in the centre of the Wenzelsplatz。
〃If George is not in the secret of this thing；〃 said Harriswe were
walking by ourselves for an hour； he having remained behind in the hotel
to write a letter to his aunt；〃if he has not observed these statues； then by
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their aid we will make a better and a thinner man of him； and that this very
evening。〃
So during dinner we sounded him； judiciously； and finding him
ignorant of the matter； we took him out； and led him by side… streets to the
place where stood the real statue。 George was for looking at it and
passing on； as is his way with statues； but we insisted on his pulling up
and viewing the thing conscientiously。 We walked him round that statue
four times； and showed it to him from every possible point of view。 I
think； on the whole； we rather bored him with the thing； but our object was
to impress it upon him。 We told him the history of the man who rode
upon the horse； the name of the artist who had made the statue； how much
it weighed； how much it measured。 We worked that statue into his
system。 By the time we had done with him he knew more about that
statue； for the time being； than he knew about anything else。 We soaked
him in that statue； and only let him go at last on the condition that he
would come again with us in the morning； when we could all see it better；
and for such purpose we saw to it that he made a note in his pocket…book
of the place where the statue stood。
Then we accompanied him to his favourite beer hall； and sat beside
him； telling him anecdotes of men who； unaccustomed to German beer；
and drinking too much of it； had gone mad and developed homicidal
mania； of men who had died young through drinking German beer； of
lovers that German beer had been the means of parting for ever from
beautiful girls。
At ten o'clock we started to walk back to the hotel。 It was a stormy…
looking night； with heavy clouds drifting over a light moon。 Harris said：
〃We won't go back the same way we came； we'll walk back by the
river。 It is lovely in the moonlight。〃
Harris told a sad history； as we walked； about a man he once knew；
who is now in a home for harmless imbeciles。 He said he recalled the
story because it was on just such another night as this that he was walking
with that man the very last time he ever saw the poor fellow。 They were
strolling down the Thames Embankment； Harris said； and the man
frightened him then by persisting that he saw the statue of the Duke of
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Wellington at the corner of Westminster Bridge； when； as everybody
knows； it stands in Piccadilly。
It was at this exact instant that we came in sight of the first of these
wooden copies。 It occupied the centre of a small； railed…in square a little
above us on the opposite side of the way。 George suddenly stood still
and leant against the wall of the quay。
〃What's the matter？〃 I said； 〃feeling giddy？〃
He said： 〃I do； a little。 Let's rest here a moment。〃
He stood there with his eyes glued to the thing。
He said； speaking huskily：
〃Talking of statues； what always strikes me is how very much one
statue is like another statue。〃
Harris said： 〃I cannot agree with you therepictures； if you like。
Some pictures are very like other pictures； but with a statue there is always
something distinctive。 Take that statue we saw early in the evening；〃
continued Harris； 〃before we went into the concert hall。 It represented a
man sitting on a horse。 In Prague you will see other statues of men on
horses； but nothing at all like that one。〃
〃Yes they are；〃 said George； 〃they are all alike。 It's always the same
horse； and it's always the same man。 They are all exactly alike。 It's
idiotic nonsense to say they are not。〃
He appeared to be angry with Harris。
〃What makes you think so？〃 I asked。
〃What makes me think so？〃 retorted George； now turning upon me。
〃Why； look at that damned thing over there！〃
I said： 〃What damned thing？〃
〃Why； that thing；〃 said George； 〃look at it！ There is the same horse
with half a tail； standing on its hind legs； the same man without his hat； the
same〃
Harris said： 〃You are talking now about the statue we saw in the
Ringplatz。〃
〃No； I'm not；〃 replied George； 〃I'm talking about the statue over
there。〃
〃What statue？〃 said Harris。
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George looked at Harris； but Harris is a man who might； with care；
have been a fair amateur actor。 His face merely expressed friendly
sorrow； mingled with alarm。 Next； George turned his gaze on me。 I
endeavoured； so far as lay with me； to copy Harris's expression； adding to
it on my own account a touch of reproof。
〃Will you have a cab？〃 I said as kindly as I could to George。 〃I'll run
and get one。〃
〃What the devil do I want with a cab？〃 he answered； ungraciously。
〃Can't you fellows understand a joke？ It's like being out with a couple of
confounded old women；〃 saying which； he started off across the bridge；
leaving us to follow。
〃I am so glad that was only a joke of yours；〃 said Harris； on our
overtaking him。 〃I knew a case of softening of the brain that began〃
〃Oh； you're a silly ass！〃 said George； cutting him short； 〃you know
everything。〃
He was really most unpleasant in his manner。
We took him round by the riverside of the theatre。 We told him it was
the shortest way； and； as a matter of fact； it was。 In the open space
behind the theatre stood the second of these wooden apparitions。 George
looked at it； and again stood still。
〃What's the matter？〃 said Harris； kindly。 〃You are not ill； are you？〃
〃I don't believe this is the shortest way；〃 said George。
〃I assure you it is；〃 persisted Harris。
〃Well； I'm going the other；〃 said George； and he turned and went； we；
as before； following him。
Along the Ferdinand Strasse Harris and I talked about private lunatic
asylums； which； Harris said； were not well managed in England。 He said
a friend of his； a patient in a lunatic asylum …
George said； interrupting： 〃You appear to have a large number of
friends in lunatic asylums。〃
He said it in a most insulting tone； as though to imply that that is
where one would look for the majority of Harris's friends。 But Harris did
not get angry； he merely replied； quite mildly：
〃Well； it really is extraordinary； when one comes to think of it； how
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many of them have gone that way sooner or later。 I get quite nervous
sometimes； now。〃
At the corner of the Wenzelsplatz； Harris； who was a few steps ahead
of us； paused。
〃It's a fine street； isn't it？〃 he said； sticking his hands in his pockets；
and gazing up at it admiringly。
George and I followed suit。 Two hundred yards away from us； in its
very centre； was the third of these ghostly statues。 I think it was the best
of the threethe most like； the most deceptive。 It stood boldly outlined
against the wild sky： the horse on
