lecture03-第4章

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wait　for　me。　　I　then　sat　down　on　a　stone；　unable　to　stand　any



longer；　and　my　eyes　overflowed　with　tears。　　I　thanked　God　that　in



the　course　of　my　life　he　had　taught　me　to　know　him；　that　he



sustained　my　life　and　took　pity　both　on　the　insignificant



creature　and　on　the　sinner　that　I　was。　　I　begged　him　ardently



that　my　life　might　be　consecrated　to　the　doing　of　his　will。　　I



felt　his　reply；　which　was　that　I　should　do　his　will　from　day　to



day　in　humility　and　poverty；　leaving　him；　the　Almighty　God；　to　be



judge　of　whether　I　should　some　time　be　called　to　bear　witness



more　conspicuously。　　Then；　slowly；　the　ecstasy　left　my　heart；



that　is；　I　felt　that　God　had　withdrawn　the　communion　which　he　had



granted；　and　I　was　able　to　walk　on；　but　very　slowly；　so　strongly



was　I　still　possessed　by　the　interior　emotion。　Besides；　I　had



wept　uninterruptedly　for　several　minutes；　my　eyes　were　swollen；



and　I　did　not　wish　my　companions　to　see　me。　　The　state　of　ecstasy



may　have　lasted　four　or　five　minutes；　although　it　seemed　at　the



time　to　last　much　longer。　　My　comrades　waited　for　me　ten　minutes



at　the　cross　of　Barine；　but　I　took　about　twenty…five　or　thirty



minutes　to　join　them；　for　as　well　as　I　can　remember；　they　said



that　I　had　kept　them　back　for　about　half　an　hour。　　The　impression



had　been　so　profound　that　in　climbing　slowly　the　slope　I　asked



myself　if　it　were　possible　that　Moses　on　Sinai　could　have　had　a



more　intimate　communication　with　God。　　I　think　it　well　to　add



that　in　this　ecstasy　of　mine　God　had　neither　form；　color；　odor；



nor　taste；　moreover；　that　the　feeling　of　his　presence　was



accompanied　with　no　determinate　localization。　It　was　rather　as　if



my　personality　had　been　transformed　by　the　presence　of　a



SPIRITUAL　SPIRIT。　　But　the　more　I　seek　words　to　express　this



intimate　intercourse；　the　more　I　feel　the　impossibility　of



describing　the　thing　by　any　of　our　usual　images。　　At　bottom　the



expression　most　apt　to　render　what　I　felt　is　this：　　God　was



present；　though　invisible；　he　fell　under　no　one　of　my　senses；　yet



my　consciousness　perceived　him。〃







The　adjective　〃mystical〃　is　technically　applied；　most　often。　to



states　that　are　of　brief　duration。　　Of　course　such　hours　of



rapture　as　the　last　two　persons　describe　are　mystical



experiences；　of　which　in　a　later　lecture　I　shall　have　much　to



say。　　Meanwhile　here　is　the　abridged　record　of　another　mystical



or　semi…mystical　experience；　in　a　mind　evidently　framed　by　nature



for　ardent　piety。　　I　owe　it　to　Starbuck's　collection。　　The　lady



who　gives　the　account　is　the　daughter　of　a　man　well　known　in　his



time　as　a　writer　against　Christianity。　　The　suddenness　of　her



conversion　shows　well　how　native　the　sense　of　God's　presence　must



be　to　certain　minds。　　She　relates　that　she　was　brought　up　in



entire　ignorance　of　Christian　doctrine；　but；　when　in　Germany；



after　being　talked　to　by　Christian　friends；　she　read　the　Bible



and　prayed；　and　finally　the　plan　of　salvation　flashed　upon　her



like　a　stream　of　light。







　〃To　this　day；〃　she　writes；　〃I　cannot　understand　dallying



with　religion　and　the　commands　of　God。　　The　very　instant　I　heard



my　Father's　cry　calling　unto　me；　my　heart　bounded　in　recognition。







I　ran；　I　stretched　forth　my　arms；　I　cried　aloud；　'Here；　here　I



am；　my　Father。'　Oh；　happy　child；　what　should　I　do？　　'Love　me；'



answered　my　God。　　'I　do；　I　do；'　I　cried　passionately。　'Come　unto



me；'　called　my　Father。　　'I　will；'　my　heart　panted。　　Did　I　stop　to



ask　a　single　question？　　Not　one。　　It　never　occurred　to　me　to　ask



whether　I　was　good　enough；　or　to　hesitate　over　my　unfitness；　or



to　find　out　what　I　thought　of　his　church；　or　。　。　。　to　wait　until



I　should　be　satisfied。　　Satisfied！　I　was　satisfied。　　Had　I　not



found　my　God　and　my　Father？　　Did　he　not　love　me？　　Had　he　not



called　me？　　Was　there　not　a　Church　into　which　I　might　enter？　　。　。



。　Since　then　I　have　had　direct　answers　to　prayerso　significant



as　to　be　almost　like　talking　with　God　and　hearing　his　answer。　



The　idea　of　God's　reality　has　never　left　me　for　one　moment。〃







Here　is　still　another　case；　the　writer　being　a　man　aged



twenty…seven；　in　which　the　experience；　probably　almost　as



characteristic；　is　less　vividly　described：







〃I　have　on　a　number　of　occasions　felt　that　I　had　enjoyed　a　period



of　intimate　communion　with　the　divine。　　These　meetings　came



unasked　and　unexpected；　and　seemed　to　consist　merely　in　the



temporary　obliteration　of　the　conventionalities　which　usually



surround　and　cover　my　life。　。　。　。　　Once　it　was　when　from　the



summit　of　a　high　mountain　I　looked　over　a　gashed　and　corrugated



landscape　extending　to　a　long　convex　of　ocean　that　ascended　to



the　horizon；　and　again　from　the　same　point　when　I　could　see



nothing　beneath　me　but　a　boundless　expanse　of　white　cloud；　on　the



blown　surface　of　which　a　few　high　peaks；　including　the　one　I　was



on；　seemed　plunging　about　as　if　they　were　dragging　their　anchors。







What　I　felt　on　these　occasions　was　a　temporary　loss　of　my　own



identity；　accompanied　by　an　illumination　which　revealed　to　me　a



deeper　significance　than　I　had　been　wont　to　attach　to　life。　　It



is　in　this　that　I　find　my　justification　for　saying　that　I　have



enjoyed　communication　with　God。　　Of　course　the　absence　of　such　a



being　as　this　would　be　chaos。　I　cannot　conceive　of　life　without



its　presence。〃







Of　the　more　habitual　and　so　to　speak　chronic　sense　of　God's



presence　the　following　sample　from　Professor　Starbuck's



manuscript　collection　may　serve　to　give　an　idea。　　It　is　from　a



man　aged　forty…nineprobably　thousands　of　unpretending



Christians　would　write　an　almost　identical　account。







〃God　is　more　real　to　me　than　any　thought　or　thing　or　person。　　I



feel　his　presence　positively；　and　the　more　as　I　live　in　closer



harmony　with　his　laws　as　written　in　my　body　and　mind。　　I　feel　him



in　the　sunshine　or　rain；　and　awe　mingled　with　a　delicious



restfulness　most　nearly　describes　my　feelings。　　I　talk　to　him　as



to　a　companion　in　prayer　and　praise；　and　our　communion　is



delightful。　　He　answers　me　again　and　again；　often　in　words　so



clearly　spoken　that　it　seems　my　outer　ear　must　have　carried　the



tone；　but　generally　in　strong　mental　impressions。　　Usually　a　text



of　Scripture；　unfolding　some　new　view　of　him　and　his　love　for　me；



and　care　for　my　safety。　　I　could　give　hundreds　of　instances；　in



school　matters；　social　problems；　financial　difficulties；　etc。　



That　he　is　mine　and　I　am　his　never　leaves　me；　it　is　an　abiding



joy。　　Without　it　life　would　be　a　blank；　a　desert；　a　shoreless；



trackless　waste。〃







I　subjoin　some　more　examples　from　writers　of　different　ages　and



sexes。　　They　are　also　from　Professor　Starbuck's　collection；　and



their　number　might　be　greatly　multiplied。　　The　first　is　from　a



man　twenty…seven　years　old：







〃God　is　quite　real　to　me。　　I　talk　to　him　and　often　get　answers。



Thoughts　sudden　and　distinct　from　any　I　have　been　entertaining



come　to　my　mind　after　asking　God　for　his　direction。　　Something



over　a　year　ago　I　was　for　some　weeks　in　the　direst　perplexity。



When　the　trouble　first　appeared　before　me　I　was　dazed；　but　before



long　（two　or　three　hours）　I　could　hear　distinctly　a　passage　of



Scripture：　　'My　grace　is　sufficient　for　thee。'　　Every　time　my



thoughts　turned　to　the　trouble　I　could　hear　this　quotation。　　I



don't　think　I　ever　doubted　the　existence　of　God；　or　had　him　drop



out　of　my　consciousness。　　God　has　frequently　stepped　into　my



affairs　very　perceptibly；　and　I　feel　that　he　directs　many　little



details　all　the　time。　　But　on　two　or　three　occasions　he　has



ordered　ways　for　me　very　contrary　to　my　ambitions　and　plans。〃







Another　statement　（none　the　less　valuable　psychologically　for



being　so　decidedly　childish）　is　that　of　a　boy　of　seventeen：







〃Sometimes　as　I　go　to　church；　I　sit　down；　join　in　the　service；



and　before　I　go　out　I　feel　as　if　God　was　with　me；　right　side　of



me；　singing　and　reading　the　Psalms　with　me。　。　。　。　And　then　again



I　feel　as　if　I　could　sit　beside　him；　and　put　my　arms　around　him；



kiss　him；　etc。　　When　I　am　taking　Holy　Communion　at　the　altar；　I



try　to　get　with　him　and　generally　feel　his　presence。〃







I　let　a　few　other　cases　follow　at　random：







〃God　surrounds　me　like　the　physical　atmosphere。　　He　is　closer　to



me　than　my　own　breath。　　In　him　literally　I　live　and　move　and　have



my　being。〃







〃There　are　times　when　I　seem　to　stand　in　his　very　presence；　to



talk　with　him。　　Answers　to　prayer　have　come；　sometimes　direct　and



overwhelming　in　their　revelation　of　his　presence　and　powers。　



There　are　times　when　God　seems　far　off；　but　this　is　always　my　own



fault。〃







〃I　have　the　sense　of　a　presence；　strong；　and　at　the　same　time



soothing；　which　hovers　over　me。　　Sometimes　it　seems　to　enwrap　me



with　sustaining　arms。〃







Such　is　the　human　ontological　imagination；　and　such　is　the



convincingness　of　what　it　brings　to　birth。　　Unpicturable　beings



are　realized；　and　realized　with　an　intensity　almost　like　that　of



an　hallucination。　　They　determine　our　vital　attitude　as



decisively　as　the　vital　attitude　of　lovers　is　determined　by　the



habitual　sense；　by　which　each　is　haunted；　of　the　other　being　in



the　world。　　A　lover　has　notoriously　this　sense　of　the　continuous



being　of　his　idol；　even　when　his　attention　is　addressed　to　other



matters　and　he　no　longer　represents　her　features。　　He　cannot



forget　her；　she　uninterruptedly　affects　him　through　and　through。　



I　spoke　of　the　convincingness　of　these　feelings　of　reality；　and　I



must　dwell　a　moment　longer　on　that　point。　　They　are　as　convincing



to　those　who　have　them　as　any　direct　sensible　experiences　can　be；



and　they　are；　as　a　rule；　much　more　convincing　than　results



established　by　mere　logic　ever　are。　　One　may　indeed　be　entirely



without　them；　probably　more　than　one　of　you　here　present　is



without　them　in　any　marked　degree；　but　if　you　do　have　them；　and



have　them　at　all　strongly；　the　probability　is　that　you　cannot



help　regarding　them　as　genuine　perceptions　of　truth；　as



revelations　of　a　kind　of　reality　which　no　adverse　argument；



however　unanswerable　by　you　in　words；　can　expel　from　your　belief。







The　opinion　opposed　to　mysticism　in　philosophy　is　sometimes



spoken　of　as　RATIONALISM。　　Rationalism　insists　that　all　our



beliefs　ought　ultimately　to　find　for　themselves　articulate



grounds。　　Such　gro