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and one actions of daily life; walking; sitting down; standing up;

offering the arm; using the fan; listening and smiling; before eyes so

experienced and before such a refined public? This is to be the great

thing for them when they become men and women; and for this reason it

is the thing of chief importance for them as children。  Along with

graces of attitude and of gesture; they already have those of the mind

and of expression。  Scarcely is their tongue loosened when they speak

the polished language of their parents。  The latter amuse themselves

with them and use them as pretty dolls; the preaching of Rousseau;

which; during the last third of the last century; brought children

into fashion; produces no other effect。  They are made to recite their

lessons in public; to perform in proverbs; to take parts in pastorals。

Their sallies are encouraged。  They know how to turn a compliment; to

invent a clever or affecting repartee; to be gallant; sensitive; and

even spirituelle。  The little Duc d'Angoulême; holding a book in his

hand; receives Suffren; whom he addresses thus: 〃I was reading

Plutarch and his illustrious men。  You could not have entered more

apropos。〃'39' The children of M。 de Sabran; a boy and a girl; one

eight and the other nine; having taken lessons from the comedians

Sainval and Larive; come to Versailles to play before the king and

queen in Voltaire's 〃Oreste;〃 and on the little fellow being

interrogated about the classic authors; he replies to a lady; the

mother of three charming girls; 〃Madame; Anacreon is the only poet I

can think of here!〃 Another; of the same age; replies to a question of

Prince Henry of Prussia with an agreeable impromptu in verse。'40' To

cause witticisms; trivialities; and mediocre verse to germinate in a

brain eight years old; what a triumph for the culture of the day!  It

is the last characteristic of the régime which; after having stolen

man away from public affairs; from his own affairs; from marriage;

from the family; hands him over; with all his sentiments and all his

faculties; to social worldliness; him and all that belong to him。

Below him fine ways and forced politeness prevail; even with his

servants and tradesmen。  A Frontin has a gallant unconstrained air; and

he turns a compliment。'41' An Abigail needs only to be a kept mistress

to become a lady。  A shoemaker is a 〃monsieur in black;〃 who says to a

mother on saluting the daughter; 〃Madame; a charming young person; and

I am more sensible than ever of the value of your kindness;〃 on which

the young girl; just out of a convent; takes him for a suitor and

blushes scarlet。  Undoubtedly less unsophisticated eyes would

distinguish the difference between this pinchbeck louis d'or and a

genuine one; but their resemblance suffices to show the universal

action of the central mint…machinery which stamps both with the same

effigy; the base metal and the refined gold。



IV。  ENJOYMENT。



The charm of this life。  … Etiquette in the 18th Century。  … Its

perfection and its resources。  …Taught and prescribed under feminine

authority。



A society which obtains such ascendancy must possess some charm; in

no country; indeed; and in no age has so perfect a social art rendered

life so agreeable。  Paris is the school…house of Europe; a school of

urbanity to which the youth of Russia; Germany; and England resort to

become civilized。  Lord Chesterfield in his letters never tires of

reminding his son of this; and of urging him into these drawing…rooms;

which will remove 〃his Cambridge rust。〃 Once familiar with them they

are never abandoned; or if one is obliged to leave them; one always

sighs for them。  〃Nothing is comparable;〃 says Voltaire;'42' 〃to the

genial life one leads there in the bosom of the arts and of a calm and

refined voluptuousness; strangers and monarchs have preferred this

repose; so agreeably occupied in it and so enchanting to their own

countries and thrones。  The heart there softens and melts away like

aromatics slowly dissolving in moderate heat; evaporating in

delightful perfumes。〃 Gustavus III; beaten by the Russians; declares

that he will pass his last days in Paris in a house on the boulevards;

and this is not merely complimentary; for he sends for plans and an

estimate。'43' A supper or an evening entertainment brings people two

hundred leagues away。  Some friends of the Prince de Ligne 〃leave

Brussels after breakfast; reach the opera in Paris just in time to see

the curtain rise; and; after the spectacle is over; return immediately

to Brussels; traveling all night。〃  …  Of this delight; so eagerly

sought; we have only imperfect copies; and we are obliged to revive it

intellectually。  It consists; in the first place; in the pleasure of

living with perfectly polite people; there is no enjoyment more

subtle; more lasting; more inexhaustible。  Man's self…esteem or vanity

being infinite; intelligent people are always able to produce some

refinement of attention to gratify it。  Worldly sensibility being

infinite there is no imperceptible shade of it permitting

indifference。  After all; Man is still the greatest source of happiness

or of misery to Man; and in those days this everflowing fountain

brought to him sweetness instead of bitterness。  Not only was it

essential not to offend; but it was essential to please; one was

expected to lose sight of oneself in others; to be always cordial and

good…humored; to keep one's own vexations and grievances in one's own

breast; to spare others melancholy ideas and to supply them with

cheerful ideas。





 〃Was any one old in those days? It is the Revolution which brought

old age into the world; Your grandfather; my child;'44' was handsome;

elegant; neat; gracious; perfumed; playful; amiable; affectionate; and

good…tempered to the day of his death。  People then knew how to live

and how to die; there was no such thing as troublesome infirmities。  If

any one had the gout; 'he walked along all the same and made no faces;

people well brought up concealed their sufferings。  There was none of

that absorption in business which spoils a man inwardly and dulls his

brain。  People knew how to ruin themselves without letting it appear;

like good gamblers who lose their money without showing uneasiness or

spite。  A man would be carried half dead to a hunt。  It was thought

better to die at a ball or at the play than in one's bed; between four

wax candles and horrid men in black。  People were philosophers; they

did not assume to be austere; but often were so without making a

display of it。  If one was discreet; it was through inclination and

without pedantry or prudishness。  People enjoyed this life; and when

the hour of departure came they did not try to disgust others with

living。  The last request of my old husband was that I would survive

him as long as possible and live as happily as I could。〃







When; especially; women are concerned it is not sufficient to be

polite; it is important to be gallant。  Each lady invited by the Prince

de Conti to Ile…Adam 〃finds a carriage and horses at her disposal; she

is free to give dinners every day in her own rooms to her own

friends。〃'45' Mme。  de Civrac having to go to the springs; her friends

undertake to divert her on the journey; they keep ahead of her a few

posts; and; at every place where she rests for the night; they give

her a little féte champêtre disguised as villagers and in bourgeois

attire; with bailiff and scrivener; and other masks all singing and

reciting verses。  A lady on the eve of Longchamp; knowing that the

Vicomte de V …  possesses two calèches; makes a request for one of

them; it is disposed of; but he is careful not to decline; and

immediately has one of the greatest elegance purchased to lend it for

three hours; he is only too happy that anybody should wish to borrow

from him; his prodigality appearing amiable but not astonishing。'46'

The reason is that women then were queens in the drawing…room; it is

their right; this is the reason why; in the eighteenth century; they

prescribe the law and the fashion in all things。'47' Having formed the

code of usages; it is quite natural that they should profit by it; and

see that all its prescriptions are carried out。  In this respect any

circle 〃of the best company 〃 is a superior tribunal; serving as a

court of last appeal。'48' The Maréchale de Luxembourg is an authority;

there is no point of manners which she does not justify with an

ingenious argument。  Any expression; any neglect of the standard; the

slightest sign of pretension or of vanity incurs her disapprobation;

from which there is no appeal; and the delinquent is for ever banished

from refined society。  Any subtle observation; any well…timed silence;

an 〃 oh〃 uttered in an appropriate place instead of an 〃 Ah;〃 secures

from her; as from M。 Talleyrand; a diploma of good breeding which is

the commencement of fame and the promise of a fortune。  Under such an

〃instructress〃 it is evident that deportment; gesture; language; every

act or omission in this mundane sphere; becomes; like a picture or

poem; a veritable work of art; that is to say; infinite in refinement;

at once studied and easy; and so harmonious in its details that its

perfection conceals the difficulty of combining them。



A great lady 〃receives ten persons with one courtesy; bestowing on

each; through the head or by a glance; all that he is entitled

to;〃'49' meaning by this the shade of regard due to each phase of

position; consideration; and birth。  〃She has always to deal with

easily irritated amour…propres; consequently the slightest deficiency

in proportion would be promptly detected;〃'50' But she is never

mistaken; and never hesitates in these subtle distinctions; with

incomparable tact; dexterity; and flexibility of tone; she regulates

the degrees of her welcome。  She has one 〃for women of condition; one

for women of quality; one for women of the court; one for titled

women; one for women of historic names; another for women of high

birth personally; but married to men beneath them; another for women

who by marriage have changed a common into a distinguished name;

another still for women of reputable names in the law; and; finally;

another for those whose relief consists chiefly of expensive houses

and good suppers。〃 A stranger would be amazed on seeing with what

certain and adroit steps she circulates among so many watchful

vanities without ever hurting or being hurt。  〃She knows how to express

all through the style of her salutations; a varied style; extending

through imperceptible gradations; from the accessory of a single shrug

of the shoulder; almost an impertinence; to that noble and deferential

reverence which so few women; even of the court; know how to do well;

that slow bending forward; with lowered eyes and straightened figure;

gradually recovering and modestly glancing at the person w

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