the uncommercial traveller-第64章

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out　walking　with　him；　and　stayed　out　till　the　ten　o'clock　beer；

Greenwich　time。



There　was　now　a　truce；　even　as　to　the　troubled　waters　of　Mrs。

Saggers's　pail；　nothing　was　spoken　of　among　the　ladies　but　the

conduct　of　Mrs。　Mitts　and　its　blighting　influence　on　the　reputation

of　Titbull's。　　It　was　agreed　that　Mr。　Battens　'ought　to　take　it

up；'　and　Mr。　Battens　was　communicated　with　on　the　subject。　　That

unsatisfactory　individual　replied　'that　he　didn't　see　his　way　yet；'

and　it　was　unanimously　voted　by　the　ladies　that　aggravation　was　in

his　nature。



How　it　came　to　pass；　with　some　appearance　of　inconsistency；　that

Mrs。　Mitts　was　cut　by　all　the　ladies　and　the　Pensioner　admired　by

all　the　ladies；　matters　not。　　Before　another　week　was　out；

Titbull's　was　startled　by　another　phenomenon。　　At　ten　o'clock　in

the　forenoon　appeared　a　cab；　containing　not　only　the　Greenwich

Pensioner　with　one　arm；　but；　to　boot；　a　Chelsea　Pensioner　with　one

leg。　　Both　dismounting　to　assist　Mrs。　Mitts　into　the　cab；　the

Greenwich　Pensioner　bore　her　company　inside；　and　the　Chelsea

Pensioner　mounted　the　box　by　the　driver：　　his　wooden　leg　sticking

out　after　the　manner　of　a　bowsprit；　as　if　in　jocular　homage　to　his

friend's　sea…going　career。　　Thus　the　equipage　drove　away。　　No　Mrs。

Mitts　returned　that　night。



What　Mr。　Battens　might　have　done　in　the　matter　of　taking　it　up；

goaded　by　the　infuriated　state　of　public　feeling　next　morning；　was

anticipated　by　another　phenomenon。　　A　Truck；　propelled　by　the

Greenwich　Pensioner　and　the　Chelsea　Pensioner；　each　placidly

smoking　a　pipe；　and　pushing　his　warrior　breast　against　the　handle。



The　display　on　the　part　of　the　Greenwich　Pensioner　of　his

'marriage…lines；'　and　his　announcement　that　himself　and　friend　had

looked　in　for　the　furniture　of　Mrs。　G。　Pensioner；　late　Mitts；　by　no

means　reconciled　the　ladies　to　the　conduct　of　their　sister；　on　the

contrary；　it　is　said　that　they　appeared　more　than　ever　exasperated。

Nevertheless；　my　stray　visits　to　Titbull's　since　the　date　of　this

occurrence；　have　confirmed　me　in　an　impression　that　it　was　a

wholesome　fillip。　　The　nine　ladies　are　smarter；　both　in　mind　and

dress；　than　they　used　to　be；　though　it　must　be　admitted　that　they

despise　the　six　gentlemen　to　the　last　extent。　　They　have　a　much

greater　interest　in　the　external　thoroughfare　too；　than　they　had

when　I　first　knew　Titbull's。　　And　whenever　I　chance　to　be　leaning

my　back　against　the　pump　or　the　iron　railings；　and　to　be　talking　to

one　of　the　junior　ladies；　and　to　see　that　a　flush　has　passed　over

her　face；　I　immediately　know　without　looking　round　that　a　Greenwich

Pensioner　has　gone　past。







CHAPTER　XXX　…　THE　RUFFIAN







I　entertain　so　strong　an　objection　to　the　euphonious　softening　of

Ruffian　into　Rough；　which　has　lately　become　popular；　that　I　restore

the　right　word　to　the　heading　of　this　paper；　the　rather；　as　my

object　is　to　dwell　upon　the　fact　that　the　Ruffian　is　tolerated

among　us　to　an　extent　that　goes　beyond　all　unruffianly　endurance。

I　take　the　liberty　to　believe　that　if　the　Ruffian　besets　my　life；　a

professional　Ruffian　at　large　in　the　open　streets　of　a　great　city；

notoriously　having　no　other　calling　than　that　of　Ruffian；　and　of

disquieting　and　despoiling　me　as　I　go　peacefully　about　my　lawful

business；　interfering　with　no　one；　then　the　Government　under　which

I　have　the　great　constitutional　privilege；　supreme　honour　and

happiness；　and　all　the　rest　of　it；　to　exist；　breaks　down　in　the

discharge　of　any　Government's　most　simple　elementary　duty。



What　did　I　read　in　the　London　daily　papers；　in　the　early　days　of

this　last　September？　　That　the　Police　had　'AT　LENGTH　SUCCEEDED　IN

CAPTURING　TWO　OF　THE　NOTORIOUS　GANG　THAT　HAVE　SO　LONG　INVESTED　THE

WATERLOO　ROAD。'　　Is　it　possible？　　What　a　wonderful　Police！　　Here　is

a　straight；　broad；　public　thoroughfare　of　immense　resort；　half　a

mile　long；　gas…lighted　by　night；　with　a　great　gas…lighted　railway

station　in　it；　extra　the　street　lamps；　full　of　shops；　traversed　by

two　popular　cross　thoroughfares　of　considerable　traffic；　itself　the

main　road　to　the　South　of　London；　and　the　admirable　Police　have；

after　long　infestment　of　this　dark　and　lonely　spot　by　a　gang　of

Ruffians；　actually　got　hold　of　two　of　them。　　Why；　can　it　be　doubted

that　any　man　of　fair　London　knowledge　and　common　resolution；　armed

with　the　powers　of　the　Law；　could　have　captured　the　whole

confederacy　in　a　week？



It　is　to　the　saving　up　of　the　Ruffian　class　by　the　Magistracy　and

Police　…　to　the　conventional　preserving　of　them；　as　if　they　were

Partridges　…　that　their　number　and　audacity　must　be　in　great　part

referred。　　Why　is　a　notorious　Thief　and　Ruffian　ever　left　at　large？

He　never　turns　his　liberty　to　any　account　but　violence　and　plunder；

he　never　did　a　day's　work　out　of　gaol；　he　never　will　do　a　day's

work　out　of　gaol。　　As　a　proved　notorious　Thief　he　is　always

consignable　to　prison　for　three　months。　　When　he　comes　out；　he　is

surely　as　notorious　a　Thief　as　he　was　when　he　went　in。　　Then　send

him　back　again。　　'Just　Heaven！'　cries　the　Society　for　the

protection　of　remonstrant　Ruffians。　　'This　is　equivalent　to　a

sentence　of　perpetual　imprisonment！'　　Precisely　for　that　reason　it

has　my　advocacy。　　I　demand　to　have　the　Ruffian　kept　out　of　my　way；

and　out　of　the　way　of　all　decent　people。　　I　demand　to　have　the

Ruffian　employed；　perforce；　in　hewing　wood　and　drawing　water

somewhere　for　the　general　service；　instead　of　hewing　at　her

Majesty's　subjects　and　drawing　their　watches　out　of　their　pockets。

If　this　be　termed　an　unreasonable　demand；　then　the　tax…gatherer's

demand　on　me　must　be　far　more　unreasonable；　and　cannot　be　otherwise

than　extortionate　and　unjust。



It　will　be　seen　that　I　treat　of　the　Thief　and　Ruffian　as　one。　　I　do

so；　because　I　know　the　two　characters　to　be　one；　in　the　vast

majority　of　cases；　just　as　well　as　the　Police　know　it。　　（As　to　the

Magistracy；　with　a　few　exceptions；　they　know　nothing　about　it　but

what　the　Police　choose　to　tell　them。）　　There　are　disorderly　classes

of　men　who　are　not　thieves；　as　railway…navigators；　brickmakers；

wood…sawyers；　costermongers。　　These　classes　are　often　disorderly

and　troublesome；　but　it　is　mostly　among　themselves；　and　at　any　rate

they　have　their　industrious　avocations；　they　work　early　and　late；

and　work　hard。　　The　generic　Ruffian　…　honourable　member　for　what　is

tenderly　called　the　Rough　Element　…　is　either　a　Thief；　or　the

companion　of　Thieves。　　When　he　infamously　molests　women　coming　out

of　chapel　on　Sunday　evenings　（for　which　I　would　have　his　back

scarified　often　and　deep）　it　is　not　only　for　the　gratification　of

his　pleasant　instincts；　but　that　there　may　be　a　confusion　raised　by

which　either　he　or　his　friends　may　profit；　in　the　commission　of

highway　robberies　or　in　picking　pockets。　　When　he　gets　a　police…

constable　down　and　kicks　him　helpless　for　life；　it　is　because　that

constable　once　did　his　duty　in　bringing　him　to　justice。　　When　he

rushes　into　the　bar　of　a　public…house　and　scoops　an　eye　out　of　one

of　the　company　there；　or　bites　his　ear　off；　it　is　because　the　man

he　maims　gave　evidence　against　him。　　When　he　and　a　line　of　comrades

extending　across　the　footway　…　say　of　that　solitary　mountain…spur

of　the　Abruzzi；　the　Waterloo　Road　…　advance　towards　me　'skylarking'

among　themselves；　my　purse　or　shirt…pin　is　in　predestined　peril

from　his　playfulness。　　Always　a　Ruffian；　always　a　Thief。　　Always　a

Thief；　always　a　Ruffian。



Now；　when　I；　who　am　not　paid　to　know　these　things；　know　them　daily

on　the　evidence　of　my　senses　and　experience；　when　I　know　that　the

Ruffian　never　jostles　a　lady　in　the　streets；　or　knocks　a　hat　off；

but　in　order　that　the　Thief　may　profit；　is　it　surprising　that　I

should　require　from　those　who　ARE　paid　to　know　these　things；

prevention　of　them？



Look　at　this　group　at　a　street　corner。　　Number　one　is　a　shirking

fellow　of　five…and…twenty；　in　an　ill…favoured　and　ill…savoured

suit；　his　trousers　of　corduroy；　his　coat　of　some　indiscernible

groundwork　for　the　deposition　of　grease；　his　neckerchief　like　an

eel；　his　complexion　like　dirty　dough；　his　mangy　fur　cap　pulled　low

upon　his　beetle　brows　to　hide　the　prison　cut　of　his　hair。　　His

hands　are　in　his　pockets。　　He　puts　them　there　when　they　are　idle；

as　naturally　as　in　other　people's　pockets　when　they　are　busy；　for

he　knows　that　they　are　not　roughened　by　work；　and　that　they　tell　a

tale。　　Hence；　whenever　he　takes　one　out　to　draw　a　sleeve　across　his

nose　…　which　is　often；　for　he　has　weak　eyes　and　a　constitutional

cold　in　his　head　…　he　restores　it　to　its　pocket　immediately

afterwards。　　Number　two　is　a　burly　brute　of　five…and…thirty；　in　a

tall　stiff　hat；　is　a　composite　as　to　his　clothes　of　betting…man　and

fighting…man；　is　whiskered；　has　a　staring　pin　in　his　breast；　along

with　his　right　hand；　has　insolent　and　cruel　eyes：　　large　shoulders；

strong　legs　booted　and　tipped　for　kicking。　　Number　three　is　forty

years　of　age；　is　short；　thick…set；　strong；　and　bow…legged；　wears

knee　cords　and　white　stockings；　a　very　long…sleeved　waistcoat；　a

very　large　neckerchief　doubled　or　trebled　round　his　throat；　and　a

crumpled　white　hat　crowns　his　ghastly　parchment　face。　　This　fellow

looks　like　an　executed　postboy　of　other　days；　cut　down　from　the

gallows　too　soon；　and　restored　and　preserved　by　express　diabolical

agency。　　Numbers　five；　six；　and　seven；　are　hulking；　idle；　slouching

young　men；　patched　and　shabby；　too　short　in　the　sleeves　and　too

tight　in　the　legs；　slimily　clothed；　foul…spoken；　repulsive　wretches

inside　and　out。　　In　all　the　party　there　obtains　a　certain　twitching

character　of　mouth　and　furtiveness　of　eye；　that　hint　how　the　coward

is　lurking　under　the　bully。　　The　hint　is　quite　correct；　for　they

are　a　slinking　sneaking　set；　far　more　prone　to　lie　down　on　their

backs　and　kick　out；　when　in　difficulty；　than　to　make　a　stand　for

it。　　（This　may　account　for　the　street　mud　on　the　backs　of　Numbers

five；　six；　and　seven；　being　much　fresher　than　the　stale　splashes　on

their　legs。）



These　engaging　gentry　a　Police…constable　stands　contemplating。　　His

Station；　with　a　Reserve　of　assistance；　is　very　near　at　hand。　　They

cannot　pretend　to　any　trade；　not　even　to　be　porters　or　messengers。

It　would　be　idle　if　they　did；　for　he　knows　them；　and　they　know　that

he　knows　them；　to　be　nothing　but　professed　Thieves　and　Ruffians。

He　knows　where　they　resort；　knows　by　what　slang　names　they　call　one

another；　knows　how　often　they　have　been　in　prison；　and　how　long；

and　for　what。　　All　this　is　known　at　his　Station；　too；　and　is　（or

ought　to　be）　known　at　Scotland　Yard；　too。　　But　does　he　know；　or

does　his　Station　know；　or　does　Scotland　Yard　know；　or　does　anybody

know；　why　these　fellows　should　be　here　at　liberty；　when；　as　reputed

Thieves　to　whom　a　whole　Division　of　Police　could　swear；　they　might

all　be　under　lock　and　key　at　hard　labour？　　Not　he；　truly　he　would

be　a　wise　man　if　he　did！　　He　only　kn