the garden of allah-第35章

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bewilders　you。〃

She　remembered　what　she　had　felt　during　her　first　ride　with　Androvsky。

〃I　believe　you　are　afraid　of　it；〃　she　said　challengingly。

〃Fear　is　sometimes　the　beginning　of　wisdom；〃　he　answered。　〃But　you　are
without　it；　I　know。〃

〃How　do　you　know？〃

〃Every　day　I　see　you　galloping　away　into　the　sun。〃

She　thought　there　was　a　faint　sound　of　warningor　was　it　of　rebuke
in　his　voice。　It　made　her　feel　defiant。

〃I　think　you　lose　a　great　deal　by　not　galloping　into　the　sun　too；〃　she
said。

〃But　if　I　don't　ride？〃

That　made　her　think　of　Androvsky　and　his　angry　resolution。　It　had　not
been　the　resolution　of　a　day。　Wearied　and　stiffened　as　he　had　been　by
the　expedition　to　Sidi…Zerzour；　actually　injured　by　his　fallshe　knew
from　Batouch　that　he　had　been　obliged　to　call　in　the　Beni…Mora　doctor
to　bandage　his　shouldershe　had　been　roused　at　dawn　on　the　day
following　by　his　tread　on　the　verandah。　She　had　lain　still　while　it
descended　the　staircase；　but　then　the　sharp　neighing　of　a　horse　had
awakened　an　irresistible　curiosity　in　her。　She　had　got　up；　wrapped
herself　in　a　fur　coat　and　slipped　out　on　to　the　verandah。　The　sun　was
not　above　the　horizon　line　of　the　desert；　but　the　darkness　of　night
was　melting　into　a　luminous　grey。　The　air　was　almost　cold。　The　palms
looked　spectral；　even　terrible；　the　empty　and　silent　gardens
melancholy　and　dangerous。　It　was　not　an　hour　for　activity；　for
determination；　but　for　reverie；　for　apprehension。

Below；　a　sleepy　Arab　boy；　his　hood　drawn　over　his　head；　held　the
chestnut　horse　by　the　bridle。　Androvsky　came　out　from　the　arcade。　He
wore　a　cap　pulled　down　to　his　eyebrows　which　changed　his　appearance；
giving　him；　as　seen　from　above；　the　look　of　a　groom　or　stable　hand。　He
stood　for　a　minute　and　stared　at　the　horse。　Then　he　limped　round　to
the　left　side　and　carefully　mounted；　following　out　the　directions
Domini　had　given　him　the　previous　day：　to　avoid　touching　the　animal
with　his　foot；　to　have　the　rein　in　his　fingers　before　leaving　the
ground；　and　to　come　down　in　the　saddle　as　lightly　as　possible。　She
noted　that　all　her　hints　were　taken　with　infinite　precaution。　Once　on
the　horse　he　tried　to　sit　up　straight；　but　found　the　effort　too　great
in　his　weary　and　bruised　condition。　He　leaned　forward　over　the　saddle
peak；　and　rode　away　in　the　luminous　greyness　towards　the　desert。　The
horse　went　quietly；　as　if　affected　by　the　mystery　of　the　still　hour。
Horse　and　rider　disappeared。　The　Arab　boy　wandered　off　in　the
direction　of　the　village。　But　Domini　remained　looking　after　Androvsky。
She　saw　nothing　but　the　grim　palms　and　the　spectral　atmosphere　in
which　the　desert　lay。　Yet　she　did　not　move　till　a　red　spear　was　thrust
up　out　of　the　east　towards　the　last　waning　star。

He　had　gone　to　learn　his　lesson　in　the　desert。

Three　days　afterwards　she　rode　with　him　again。　She　did　not　let　him
know　of　her　presence　on　the　verandah；　and　he　said　nothing　of　his
departure　in　the　dawn。　He　spoke　very　little　and　seemed　much　occupied
with　his　horse；　and　she　saw　that　he　was　more　than　determinedthat　he
was　apt　at　acquiring　control　of　a　physical　exercise　new　to　him。　His
great　strength　stood　him　in　good　stead。　Only　a　man　hard　in　the　body
could　have　so　rapidly　recovered　from　the　effects　of　that　first　day　of
defeat　and　struggle。　His　absolute　reticence　about　his　efforts　and　the
iron　will　that　prompted　them　pleased　Domini。　She　found　them　worthy　of
a　man。

She　rode　with　him　on　three　occasions；　twice　in　the　oasis　through　the
brown　villages；　once　out　into　the　desert　on　the　caravan　road　that
Batouch　had　told　her　led　at　last　to　Tombouctou。　They　did　not　travel
far　along　it；　but　Domini　knew　at　once　that　this　route　held　more
fascination　for　her　than　the　route　to　Sidi…Zerzour。　There　was　far　more
sand　in　this　region　of　the　desert。　The　little　humps　crowned　with　the
scrub　the　camels　feed　on　were　fewer；　so　that　the　flatness　of　the
ground　was　more　definite。　Here　and　there　large　dunes　of　golden…
coloured　sand　rose；　some　straight　as　city　walls；　some　curved　like
seats　in　an　amphitheatre；　others　indented；　crenellated　like
battlements；　undulating　in　beastlike　shapes。　The　distant　panorama　of
desert　was　unbroken　by　any　visible　oasis　and　powerfully　suggested
Eternity　to　Domini。

〃When　I　go　out　into　the　desert　for　my　long　journey　I　shall　go　by　this
road；〃　she　said　to　Androvsky。

〃You　are　going　on　a　journey？〃　he　said；　looking　at　her　as　if　startled。

〃Some　day。〃

〃All　alone？〃

〃I　suppose　I　must　take　a　caravan；　two　or　three　Arabs；　some　horses；　a
tent　or　two。　It's　easy　to　manage。　Batouch　will　arrange　it　for　me。〃

Androvsky　still　looked　startled；　and　half　angry；　she　thought。

They　had　pulled　up　their　horses　among　the　sand　dunes。　It　was　near
sunset；　and　the　breath　of　evening　was　in　the　sir；　making　its　coolness
even　more　ethereal；　more　thinly　pure　than　in　the　daytime。　The
atmosphere　was　so　clear　that　when　they　glanced　back　they　could　see　the
flag　fluttering　upon　the　white　of　the　great　hotel　of　Beni…Mora；　many
kilometres　away　among　the　palms；　so　still　that　they　could　hear　the
bark　of　a　Kabyle　off　near　a　nomad's　tent　pitched　in　the　green　land　by
the　water…springs　of　old　Beni…Mora。　When　they　looked　in　front　of　them
they　seemed　to　see　thousands　of　leagues　of　flatness；　stretching　on　and
on　till　the　pale　yellowish　brown　of　it　grew　darker；　merged　into　a
strange　blueness；　like　the　blue　of　a　hot　mist　above　a　southern　lake；
then　into　violet；　then　intothe　thing　they　could　not　see；　the
summoning　thing　whose　voice　Domini's　imagination　heard；　like　a　remote
and　thrilling　echo；　whenever　she　was　in　the　desert。

〃I　did　not　know　you　were　going　on　a　journey；　Madame；〃　Androvsky　said。

〃Don't　you　remember？〃　she　rejoined　laughingly；　〃that　I　told　you　on　the
tower　I　thought　peace　must　dwell　out　there。　Well；　some　day　I　shall　set
out　to　find　it。〃

〃That　seems　a　long　time　ago；　Madame；〃　he　muttered。

Sometimes；　when　speaking　to　her；　he　dropped　his　voice　till　she　could
scarcely　hear　him；　and　sounded　like　a　man　communing　with　himself。

A　red　light　from　the　sinking　sun　fell　upon　the　dunes。　As　they　rode
back　over　them　their　horses　seemed　to　be　wading　through　a　silent　sea
of　blood。　The　sky　in　the　west　looked　like　an　enormous　conflagration；
in　which　tortured　things　were　struggling　and　lifting　twisted　arms。

Domini's　acquaintance　with　Androvsky　had　not　progressed　as　easily　and
pleasantly　as　her　intercourse　with　Count　Anteoni。　She　recognised　that
he　was　what　is　called　a　〃difficult　man。〃　Now　and　then；　as　if　under　the
prompting　influence　of　some　secret　and　violent　emotion；　he　spoke　with
apparent　naturalness；　spoke　perhaps　out　of　his　heart。　Each　time　he　did
so　she　noticed　that　there　was　something　of　either　doubt　or　amazement
in　what　he　said。　She　gathered　that　he　was　slow　to　rely；　quick　to
mistrust。　She　gathered；　too；　that　very　many　things　surprised　him；　and
felt　sure　that　he　hid　nearly　all　of　them　from　her；　and　wouldhad　not
his　own　will　sometimes　betrayed　himhave　hidden　all。　His　reserve　was
as　intense　as　everything　about　him。　There　was　a　fierceness　in　it　that
revealed　its　existence。　He　always　conveyed　to　her　a　feeling　of
strength；　physical　and　mental。　Yet　he　always　conveyed；　too；　a　feeling
of　uneasiness。　To　a　woman　of　Domini's　temperament　uneasiness　usually
implies　a　public　or　secret　weakness。　In　Androvsky's　she　seemed　to　be
aware　of　passion；　as　if　it　were　one　to　dash　obstacles　aside；　to　break
through　doors　of　iron；　to　rush　out　into　the　open。　And　thenwhat　then？
To　tremble　at　the　world　before　him？　At　what　he　had　done？　She　did　not
know。　But　she　did　know　that　even　in　his　uneasiness　there　seemed　to　be
fibre；　muscle；　sinew；　nerveall　which　goes　to　make　strength；
swiftness。

Speech　was　singularly　difficult　to　him。　Silence　seemed　to　be　natural；
not　irksome。　After　a　few　words　he　fell　into　it　and　remained　in　it。　And
he　was　less　self…conscious　in　silence　than　in　speech。　He　seemed；　she
fancied；　to　feel　himself　safer；　more　a　man　when　he　was　not　speaking。
To　him　the　use　of　words　was　surely　like　a　yielding。

He　had　a　peculiar　faculty　of　making　his　presence　felt　when　he　was
silent；　as　if　directly　he　ceased　from　speaking　the　flame　in　him　was
fanned　and　leaped　up　at　the　outside　world　beyond　its　bars。

She　did　not　know　whether　he　was　a　gentleman　or　not。

If　anyone　had　asked　her；　before　she　came　to　Beni…Mora；　whether　it
would　be　possible　for　her　to　take　four　solitary　rides　with　a　man；　to
meet　himif　only　for　a　few　minutesevery　day　of　ten　days；　to　sit
opposite　to　him；　and　not　far　from　him；　at　meals　during　the　same　space
of　time；　and　to　be　unable　to　say　to　herself　whether　he　was　or　was　not
a　gentleman　by　birth　and　educationfeeling　set　asideshe　would　have
answered　without　hesitation　that　it　would　be　utterly　impossible。　Yet
so　it　was。　She　could　not　decide。　She　could　not　place　him。　She　could
not　imagine　what　his　parentage；　what　his　youth；　his　manhood　had　been。
She　could　not　fancy　him　in　any　environmentsave　that　golden　light；
that　blue　radiance；　in　which　she　had　first　consciously　and　fully　met
him　face　to　face。　She　could　not　hear　him　in　converse　with　any　set　of
men　or　women；　or　invent；　in　her　mind；　what　he　might　be　likely　to　say
to　them。　She　could　not　conceive　him　bound　by　any　ties　of　home；　or
family；　mother；　sister；　wife；　child。　When　she　looked　at　him；　thought
about　him；　he　presented　himself　to　her　alone；　like　a　thing　in　the　air。

Yet　he　was　more　male　than　other　men；　breathed　humanityof　some　kind
as　fire　breathes　heat。

The　child　there　was　in　him　almost　confused　her；　made　her　wonder
whether　long　contact　with　the　world　had　tarnished　her　own　original
simplicity。　But　she　only　saw　the　child　in　him　now　and　then；　and　she
fancied　that　it；　too；　he　was　anxious　to　conceal。

This　man　had　certainly　a　power　to　rouse　feeling　in　others。　She　knew　it
by　her　own　experience。　By　turns　he　had　made　her　feel　motherly；
protecting；　curious；　constrained；　passionate；　energetic；　timidyes；
almost　timid　and　shy。　No　other　human　being　had　ever；　even　at　moments；
thus　got　the　better　of　her　natural　audacity；　lack　of　self…
consciousness；　and　inherent；　almost　boyish；　boldness。　Nor　was　she
aware　what　it　was　in　him　which　sometimes　made　her　uncertain　of
herself。

She　wondered。　But　he　often　woke　up　wonder　in　her。

Despite　their　rides；　their　moments　of　intercourse　in　the　hotel；　on　the
verandah；　she　scarcely　felt　more　intimate　with　him　than　she　had　at
first。　Sometimes　indeed　she　thought　that　she　felt　less　so；　that　the
moment　when　the　train　ran　out　of　the　tunnel　into　the　blue　country　was
the　moment　in　which　they　had　been　nearest　to　each　other　since　they
trod　the　verges　of　each　other's　lives。

She　had　never　definitely　said　to　herself：　〃Do　I　like　him　or　dislike
him？〃

Now；　as　she　sat　with　Count　Anteoni　watching　the　noon；　the　half…drowsy；
half…imaginative　expression　had　gone　out　of　her　face。　She　looked
rather　rigid；　rather　formidable。

Androvsky　and　Count　Anteoni　had　never　met。　The　Count　had　seen
Androvsky　in　the　distance　from　his　garden　more　than　once；　but
Androvsky　had　not　seen　him。　The　meeting　that　was　about　to　take　place
was　due　to　Domini。　She　had　spoken　to　Androvsky　on　several　occasions　of
the　romantic　beauty　of　this　desert　garden。

〃It　is　like　a　garden　of　the　/Arabian　Nights/；〃　she　had　sa