the captives-第84章

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er　and　strange；〃　but　Paul　was　not　blamed；　he　was　rather；　pitied　and　even　liked　the　more。　But　Grace　could　not　forget。　Maggie　intended　perhaps　to　murder　her　in　revenge　for　her　uncle's　death；　well；　then；　she　must　be　murdered　。　。　。　She　would　not　leave　her　brother。　She　could　not　consider　the　future。　She　knew　that　she　could　not　live　in　the　same　house　with　Maggie　for　long；　but　she　would　not　go　and　Maggie　would　not　go　。　。　。　What　was　to　happen？

Poor　Grace；　the　tortures　that　she　suffered　during　those　weeks　will　not　be　understood　by　persons　with　self…confidence　and　a　hearty　contempt　for　superstition。

She　paid　the　penalty　now　for　the　ghosts　of　her　childhoodand　no　one　could　help　her。

Maggie　saw　that　Paul　was；　with　every　day；　increasingly　unhappy。　He　had　never　been　trained　to　conceal　his　feelings；　and　although　he　tried　now　he　succeeded　very　badly。　He　would　come　into　her　room　in　the　early　morning　hours　and　lie　down　beside　her。　He　would　put　his　arms　around　her　and　kiss　her；　and；　desperately；　as　though　he　were　doing　it　for　a　wager；　make　love　to　her。　She　felt；　desperate　also　on　her　side；　that　she　could　comfort　and　make　him　happy；　if　only　he　would　want　something　less　from　her　than　passion。　But　always　after　an　hour　or　a　little　more；　he　crept　away　again　to　his　own　room；　disappointed；　angered；　frustrated。　These　hours　were　the　stranger　because；　during　the　day；　he　showed　her　nothing　of　this　mood；　but　was　kindly　and　friendly　and　distant。

She　would　have　done　anything　for　him；　she　tried　sometimes　to　be　affectionate　to　him；　but　always；　at　once；　he　turned　upon　her　with　a　hungry；　impassioned　look　。　。　。

She　knew；　without　any　kind　of　doubt；　that　the　only　way　that　she　could　make　him　happy　again　was　to　leave　him。　His　was　not　a　nature　to　brood；　for　the　rest　of　his　days；　on　something　that　he　had　lost。

Only　once　did　he　make　any　allusion　to　the　coming　Revival　services。　He　burst　out　one　day；　at　luncheon：　〃The　most　scandalous　thing！〃　he　said。　〃We　had　them　here　once；　years　ago；　and　the　harm　they　did　no　one　would　believe。　I've　been　to　Tamar　about　it；　he　can　do　nothing；　unless　they　disturb　the　public　peace；　of　course。　He　had　the　impertinence　to　tell　me　that　they　behaved　very　well　last　time　they　were　here！〃

〃I　don't　like　that　man；〃　said　Grace。　〃I　don't　believe　he　makes　his　money　properly。　Look　at　the　clothes　Mrs。　Tamar　wears！　What　I　mean　is；　I　don't　like　his　wife　at　all。〃

〃It's　very　hard；〃　said　Paul；　his　voice　trembling　with　indignation；〃　that　when　men　and　women　have　been　working　for　years　to　bring　Christ　into　the　hearts　of　mankind　that　mountebanks　and　hypocrites　should　be　allowed　to　undo　the　work　in　the　space　of　a　night。　I　know　this　man　Thurston。　They've　had　letters　in　the　Church　Times　about　him。〃　〃Fancy！〃　said　Grace；　〃and　still　he　dares　show　his　face。〃

〃But　do　they　really　do　so　much　harm？〃　asked　Maggie。　〃I　should　have　thought　if　they　only　came　once　for　a　week　in　ten　years　they　couldn't　make　any　real　effect　on　anybody〃

〃Maggie；　dear；〃　said　Paul　gently；　〃you　don't　understand。〃

As　the　day　of　the　Revival　approached；　Maggie　knew　that　she　would　go　to　one　of　the　services。　She　was　now　in　a　strange　state　of　excitement。　The　shock　of　her　uncle's　death　had　undoubtedly　shaken　her　whole　balance；　moral；　physical；　and　mental。　The　fortnight　that　had　followed　it；　when　she　had　clung　like　a　man　falling　from　a　height　and　held　by　a　rocky　ledge　to　the　one　determination　not　to　look　either　behind　or　in　front　of　her；　had　been　a　strain　beyond　her　strength。

She　did　not　know；　she　did　not　feel　any　weakness；　she　felt　rather　a　curious　atmosphere　of　light　and　expectation　as　though　that　cry　to　Martin　in　her　bedroom　had　truly　been　answered。　And　she　felt　more　than　this。　Old　Magnus　had　once　said　to　her：　〃I　don't　know　what　religion　is　except　that　it　is　a　fightand　some　people　join　in　because　they　want　to；　some　are　forced　to　join　in　whether　they　want　to　or　no；　some　just　leave　it　alone；　and　some　（most）　don't　know　there's　one　going　on　at　all。　But　if　you　don't　join　in　you　seem　to　me　to　have　wasted　your　time。〃

She　had　not　understood　in　the　least　what　he　meant；　she　did　not　understand　now；　but；　thinking　of　his　words；　it　did　seem　to　her　that　she　was　sharing　in　some　conflict。　The　vast　armies　hidden　from　her　by　mist；　the　contested　ground　also　hidden；　but　the　clash　of　arms　clearly　to　be　heard。　Her　own　part　of　a　struggle　seemed　to　be　round　her　love　for　Martin；　it　was　as　though；　if　she　could　get　some　realisation　of　that；　she　would　have　won　her　way　to　a　vantage…point　whence　she　could　visualise　the　next　place。　She　did　not　think　this　out。　She　only　felt　in　her　heart　a　little　less　lonely；　a　little　less　wicked　and　selfish；　a　little　less　deserted；　as　though　she　were　drawing　nearer　to　some　hidden　fire　and　could　feel　the　first　warm　shadow　of　the　flames。

She　made　one　more　appeal　to　Grace　on　the　very　morning　of　the　first　day　of　the　Revival。

After　breakfast　Maggie　came　into　the　drawing…room　and　found　Grace　sitting　there　sewing。

She　stood；　timidly；　in　her　old　attitude；　her　hands　clasped　in　front　of　her；　like　a　child　saying　her　lesson。

〃I　beg　your　pardon；　Grace。〃

Grace　looked　up。　She　had　of　course　been　conscious　of　Maggie　ever　since　her　entrance　into　the　room。　Her　hands　had　trembled　and　her　heart　leapt　furiously。

〃Why；　Maggie〃　she　said。

〃I'm　afraid　I'm　disturbing　you；〃　said　Maggie；　〃but　we　haven't　really　said　anything　to　one　another　for　the　last　fortnight。　I　don't　suppose　that　you　want　me　to　say　anything　now；　but　things　get　worse　and　worse　if　no　one　says　anything；　don't　they？〃　Now　that　she　had　begun　she　went　on　quickly：　〃I　wanted　to　say；　Grace；　how　sorry　I　am　for　the　trouble　and　unhappiness　that　you　and　Paul　have　had　during　the　last　fortnight　through　me。　I've　been　nothing　but　a　trouble　to　you　since　I　first　came　here；　but　it　wasn't　that　that　I　wanted　to　say。　I　couldn't　bear　that　you　should　think　that　I　was　just　selfishly　full　of　my　own　affairs　and　didn't　understand　how　you　and　Paul　must　feel　about　about　my　uncle。　Not　that　I　mean；〃　she　went　on　rather　fiercely；　raising　her　head；　〃that　he　was　to　blame。　No　one　ever　understood　him。　He　could　have　done　great　things　ififsome　one　had　looked　after　him　a　little。　But　he　hadn't　any　one。　That　was　my　fault。　I　didn't　want　you　and　Paul　to　think　I　don't　blame　myself。　I　do　all　the　time。　I　can't　promise　to　be　better　in　the　future　because　I've　promised　so　often　and　I　never　am。　But　I　am　sorry。〃

Grace　said　nothing　for　a　moment。　Her　hands　trembled　more　than　ever。　Then；　without　looking　up；　she　murmured　as　though　to　her　sewing：

〃Oh　no。　Maggie　。　。　。　　no　one　blames　you；　I'm　sure。〃

There　was　another　pause；　then　Grace　said：

〃I　think　I'm　not　well。　No；　I　can't　be　well　because　I'm　not　sleeping；　although　I've　taken　aspirin　more；　I'm　sure；　than　I　ought　to。　What　I　mean　is　that　they　say　it's　bad　for　your　heart。　Of　course　things　have　been　very　unfortunate；　from　the　beginning　one　might　say；　but　I'm　sure　it's　not　been　any　one's　fault　exactly。　What　I　mean　is　that　these　things　never　are　。　。　。　No；　they　aren't　really。　I　expect　we　all　want　a　change。〃

〃What　are　you　frightened　of　me　for；　Grace；〃　asked　Maggie。

Grace　started　as　though　Maggie　had　indeed　dropped　a　bomb　at　her　feet。　She　looked　up　at　Maggie；　wildly；　her　eyes　staring　about　the　room　as　though　she　were　looking　for　some　exit　of　escape。

〃Frightened？〃　she　repeated。

〃Yes；　you　are；〃　said　Maggie。　〃That's　what　worries　me　most。　No　one's　ever　been　frightened　of　me　beforeat　least　I　don't　think　any　one　has。〃　Maggie　laughed。　〃Why；　Grace；　it　seems　so　funny　any　one　being　frightened　of　me。　I　couldn't　hurt　any　one　if　I　wanted　to；　and　I'm　sure　I　never　want　to　unless　it's　Mrs。　Maxse。　Be　angry　with　me　as　much　as　you　like；　Grace；　but　don't　be　frightened　of　me。　Why；　that's　ridiculous！〃

It　was　the　worst　word　to　have　chosen。　Grace　flushed　a　dull　unwholesome　purple。

〃I'm　sorry　you　think　me　ridiculous；　Maggie；〃　she　said。　〃Perhaps　I　am。　I'm　sure　I　don't　know。　Yes；　perhaps　I　am。　What　I　mean　is　that　what's　ridiculous　to　one　is　not　ridiculous　to　another。　You're　a　strange　girl；　Maggie；　and　you　and　I　will　never　get　on。　No；　never。　But　all　I　ask　is　that　you　should　make　Paul　happy。　That　is　enough　for　me。　I　care　for　nothing　else。　He　isn't　very　happy　just　now。　What　I　mean　is　that　any　one　can　see　he　isn't　eating　his　meals　properly。〃

〃Oh；　Grace；〃　cried　Maggie。　〃I　didn't　mean　that　you　were　ridiculous。　I　meant　that　any　one　being　frightened　of　me　was　ridiculous。　Anyway；　I'm　very　sorry　that　I've　made　you　and　Paul　unhappy。　That's　all。〃

She　turned　and　went。

It　was　the　most　lovely　of　April　days；　soft；　primrose…coloured；　the　sea…breeze　gently　tempered　by　mist…veiled　sun。　Maggie　sat　at　her　bedroom　window　overlooking　the　drive　and　the　blue…grey　field　that　ran　to　the　woods。　She　knew　that　there　would　be　no　difficulty　about　her　escape　to　the　Revival　meeting。　Paul　had　arranged　that　there　should　be　an　evening　service　at　the　Church　at　the　same　hour；　an　act　of　rather　Un…Christian　defiance。　Maggie　sat　there；　looking　down　in　a　condition　of　strange　bewildering　excitement　on　to　the　laurel　bushes。　It　was　wonderful　to　think　that　in　another　half…hour　she　would　see　Miss　Avies　once　more；　hear　those　wild　hymns　again；　catch　the　stridency　of　Thurston's　voice；　all　these　things　spoke　of　Martin。　She　felt　as　though　he　were　stealing　towards　her　out　of　the　dusk；　it　was　as　though；　without　any　reason；　she　expected　to　find　him　at　the　service　。　。　。　although　she　knew　that　he　could　not　be　there。

She　heard　the　Church　bell　begin　to　ring；　then　the　hall…door　opened　and　Paul　came　out。　He　had　on　his　soft　black　hat；　he　was　carrying　his　Bible　and　prayer…book　under　his　arm。　He　stood；　for　a　moment；　beside　the　hall…door　as　though　he　were　listening　or　expecting　something。　She　had　a　strange　impulse　to　run　down　to　him；　so　strong　was　it　that　she　got　up　and　moved　to　the　door。　Then　slowly　she　came　back　to　the　window　and　stood　looking　down　upon　him。　Suddenly；　as　though　he　felt　her　gaze；　he　glanced　up；　saw　her；　and　waved　to　her。　She　waved　back　to　him。　He　turned　and　walked　quickly　away；　she　heard　the　gate　swing；　screaming　behind　him。

She　waited　for　a　little；　then　put　on　her　hat　and　coat　and　went　out。　She　knew　the　Flower　Street　Hall；　a　place　occasionally　used　by　touring　Companies；　Wandering　Lecturers；　Charitable　Concerts；　and　other　casual　festivals。　It　was　at　the　far　end　of　the　town　towards　the　end　of　the　Promenade。

The　town；　dim　in　the　first　dusk；　hummed　with　loiterers；　girls　released　from　the　shops　walking　with　their　young　men；　middle…aged　couples　sauntering　out　to　take　a　last　whiff　of　the　sea　before　going　in　to　the　evening　meal；　one　or　two　visitors　from　the　Hotel　strolling　across　to　the　beach　to　watch　the　first　evening　stars　and　the　rising　moon。　Pianos　were　playing；　children　shouting　over　the　last　game　of　the　day；　all　hushed　into　a　coloured　mild　tranquillity。　In　the　fields　beyond　the　houses　the　quiet　was　absolute。

Maggie　found　the　building。　The　facade　was　blazing　with　electric　light。　A　huge　poster；　of　the　now　familiar　pink；　declared：

　GRAND　RELIGIOUS　FESTIVAL。　All　are　invited。　IS　ALL　WELL　WITH　YOU；　BROTHER？

There　was　a　crowd　about　the　doors；　and　continually；　with　giggles　and　shamefaced　laughter；　couples　broke　away　and　climbed　the　steps　into　the　Hall。　Maggie；　feeling　that　all　eyes　were　upon　her；　entered　the　building。　In　the　vestibule　two　grave…faced　women　in　black　bonnets