the captives-第57章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！



〃Yes；　do；〃　said　Maggie。

When　Miss　Avies　had　gone　Maggie　realised　that　she　had　been　talking　with　bravadoin　fact　she　hid　her　head　in　the　cushion　of　the　chair　and　cried　for　at　least　five　minutes。　Then　she　sat　up　and　wiped　her　eyes　because　she　heard　Aunt　Anne　coming。　When　Aunt　Anne　came　towards　her　now　she　was　affected　with　a　strange　feeling　of　sickness。　She　told　herself　that　that　was　part　of　her　illness。　She　did　not　hate　Aunt　Anne。　For　some　weeks；　when　she　had　risen　slowly　from　the　nightmare　that　the　first　period　of　her　illness　had　been；　she　hated　Aunt　Anne；　hated　her　fiercely；　absorbingly；　desperately。　Then　suddenly　the　hatred　had　left　her；　and　had　she　only　known　it　she　was　from　that　moment　never　to　hate　any　one　again。　A　quite　new　love　for　Martin　was　suddenly　born　in　her；　a　love　that　was；　as　yet；　like　the　first　faint　stirring　of　the　child　in　the　mother's　womb。　This　new　love　was　quite　different　from　the　old；　that　had　been　acquisitive；　possessive；　urgent；　restless；　and　often　terribly　painful；　this　was　tranquil；　sure；　utterly　certain；　and　passive。　The　immediate　fruit　of　it　was　that　she　regarded　all　human　creatures　with　a　lively　interest；　an　interest　too　absorbing　to　allow　of　hatred　or　even　active　dislike。　Her　love　for　Martin　was　now　like　a　strong　current　in　her　soul　washing　away　all　sense　of　irritation　and　anger。　She　regarded　people　from　a　new　angle。　What　were　they　all　about？　What　were　they　thinking？　Had　they　too　had　some　experience　as　marvellous　as　her　meeting　with　and　parting　from　Martin？　Probably；　and　they　too　were　shy　of　speaking　of　it。　Her　love　for　Martin　slowly　grew；　a　love　now　independent　of　earthly　contact　and　earthly　desire；　a　treasure　that　would　be　hers　so　long　as　life　lasted；　that　no　one　could　take　from　her。

She　no　longer　hated　Aunt　Anne；　but　she　did　not　intend　to　live　with　her　any　more。　So　soon　as　she　was　well　enough　she　would　go。　That　moment　of　physical　contact　when　Aunt　Anne　had　held　her　back　made　any　more　relation　between　them　impossible。　There　was　now　a　great　gulf　fixed。

The　loneliness；　the　sense　of　desperate　loss；　above　all　the　agonising　longing　for　Martin；　his　step；　his　voice；　his　smileshe　faced　all　these　and　accepted　them　as　necessary　companions　now　on　her　life's　journey；　but　she　did　not　intend　to　allow　them　to　impede　progress。　She　wondered　now　about　everybody。　Her　own　experience　had　shown　her　what　strange　and　wonderful　things　occur　to　all　human　beings；　and；　in　the　face　of　this；　how　could　one　hate　or　grudge　or　despise？　She　had　a　fellowship　now　with　all　humanity。

But　she　was　as　ignorant　about　life　as　ever。　The　things　that　now　she　wanted　to　know！　About　Aunt　Anne；　for　instance。　How　had　she　been　affected　by　Mr。　Warlock's　death　and　the　disappointment　of　her　expectations？　The　Chapel　now　apparently　was　to　be　taken　over　by　Thurston；　who　had　married　Amy　Warlock　and　was　full　of　schemes　and　enterprises。　Maggie　knew　that　the　aunts　went　now　very　seldom　to　Chapel；　and　the　Inside　Saints　were　apparently　in　pieces。　Was　Aunt　Anne　utterly　broken　by　all　this？　She　did　not　seem　to　be　so。　She　seemed　to　be　very　much　as　she　had　been；　except　that　she　was　in　her　room　now　a　great　deal。　Her　health　appeared；　on　the　whole；　to　be　better　than　it　had　been。　And　what　was　Aunt　Elizabeth　thinking？　And　Martha？　And　Miss　Avies？　And　Caroline　Smith？　。　。　。

No；　she　must　get　out　into　the　world　and　discover　these　things　for　herself。　She　did　not　know　how　the　way　of　escape　would　come；　but　she　was　certain　of　its　arrival。

It　arrived；　and　through　her　third　visitor。　Her　third　visitor　was　Mrs。　Mark。

When　Katherine　Mark　came　in　Maggie　was　writing　to　Uncle　Mathew。　She　put　aside　her　writing…pad　with　a　little　exclamation　of　surprise。　Mrs。　Mark；　the　very　last　person　in　all　the　world　whom　she　had　expected　to　see！　As　she　saw　her　come　in　she　had　a　swift　intuition　that　this　was　Destiny　now　that　was　dealing　with　her；　and　that　a　new　scene；　involving　every　sort　of　new　experience　and　adventure；　was　opening　before　her。　More　than　ever　before　she　realised　how　far　Katherine　Mark　was　from　the　world　in　which　she；　Maggie；　had　during　all　these　months　been　living。　Katherine　Mark　was　RealReal　in　her　beautiful　quiet　clothes；　in　her　assurance；　her　ease；　the　sense　that　she　gave　that　she　knew　life　and　love　and　business　and　all　the　affairs　of　men　at　first　hand；　not　only　seen　through　a　mist　of　superstition　and　ignorance；　or　indeed　not　seen　at　all。

〃This　is　what　I　want；〃　something　in　Maggie　called　to　her。

〃This　will　make　me　busy　and　quiet　and　sensibleat　last〃

When　Katherine　Mark　sat　down　and　took　her　hand　for　a　moment；　smiling　at　her　in　the　kindliest　way；　Maggie　felt　as　though　she　had　known　her　all　her　life。

〃Oh！　I'm　so　glad　you've　come！〃　she　cried　spontaneously；　and　then；　as　though　she　felt　she'd　gone　too　far；　she　blushed　and　drew　back。

But　Katherine　held　her　hand　fast。

〃I　wrote；〃　she　said；　〃some　weeks　ago　to　you；　and　your　aunt　answered　the　letter　saying　you　were　very　ill。　Then；　as　I　heard　nothing　of　you；　I　was　anxious　and　came　to　see　what　had　happened。　You've　not　kept　your　word；　Maggie；　you　know。　We　were　to　have　been　great　friends；　and　you've　never　been　near　me。〃

At　the　use　of　her　Christian　name　Maggie　blushed　with　pleasure。

〃I　couldn't　come；〃　she　said。　〃I　didn't　want　to　untiluntiluntil　some　things　had　settled　themselves。〃

〃Welland　they　have？〃　asked　Katherine。

〃Yesthey　have；〃　said　Maggie。

〃What's　been　the　matter？〃　asked　Katherine。

〃I　was　worried　about　something；　and　then　I　was　ill；〃　said　Maggie。

〃And　you're　not　worried　now？〃　said　Katherine。

〃I'm　not　going　to　give　in　to　it；　anyway；〃　said　Maggie。　〃As　soon　as　I'm　well；　I'm　off。　I'll　find　some　work　somewhere。〃

〃I've　got　a　plan；〃　said　Katherine。　〃It　came　into　my　head　the　moment　I　saw　you　sitting　there。　Will　you　come　and　stay　with　us　for　a　little？〃

That　sense　that　Maggie　had　had　when　she　saw　Katherine　of　fate　having　a　hand　in　all　of　this　deepened　now　and　coloured　her　thoughts；　so　that　she　could　feel　no　surprise　but　only　a　curious　instinct　that　she　had　been　through　all　this　scene　before。

〃Stay　with　you！〃　she　cried。　〃Oh；　I　should　love　to！〃

〃That's　good；〃　said　Katherine。　〃Your　aunts　won't　mind；　will　they？〃

〃They　can't　keep　me；〃　said　Maggie。　〃I'm　free。　But　they　won't　want　to。　Our　time　together　is　over〃

〃I'll　come　and　fetch　you　to…morrow；〃　said　Katherine。　〃You　shall　stay　with　us　until　you're　quite　well；　and　then　we'll　find　some　work　for　you。〃

〃Why　are　you　good　to　me　like　this？〃　Maggie　asked。

〃I'm　not　good　to　you；〃　Katherine　answered；　laughing。　〃It's　simply　selfish。　It　will　be　lovely　for　me　having　you　with　me。〃

〃Oh；　you　don't　know；〃　said　Maggie；　throwing　up　her　head。

〃No；　I　don't　think　I'll　come。　I'm　frightened。　I'm　not　what　you　think。　I'm　untidy　and　careless　and　can't　talk　to　strangers。　Perhaps　I'll　lose　you　altogether　as　a　friend　if　I　come。〃

〃You'll　never　do　that；〃　said　Katherine；　suddenly　bending　forward　and　kissing　her。　〃I　don't　change　about　people。　It's　because　I　haven't　any　imagination；　Phil　says。〃

〃I　shall　make　mistakes；〃　Maggie　said。　〃I've　never　been　anywhere。　But　I　don't　care。　I　can　look　after　myself。〃

The　thought　of　her　three　hundred　pounds　（which　were　no　longer　three　hundred）　encouraged　her。　She　kissed　Katherine。

〃I　don't　change　either；〃　she　said。

She　had　a　strange　conversation　with　Aunt　Anne　that　night；　strange　as　every　talk　had　always　been　because　of　things　left　unsaid。　They　faced　one　another　across　the　fireplace　like　enemies　who　might　have　been　lovers；　there　had　been　from　the　very　first　moment　of　this　meeting　a　romantic　link　between　them　which　had　never　been　defined。　They　had　never　had　it　out　with　one　another；　and　they　were　not　going　to　have　it　out　now；　but　Maggie；　who　was　never　sentimental；　wondered　at　the　strange　mixture　of　tenderness；　pity；　affection；　irritation　and　hostility　that　she　felt。

〃Aunt　Anne；　I'm　going　away　to…morrow；〃　said　Maggie。

〃To…morrow！〃　Aunt　Anne　looked　up　with　her　strange　hostile　arrogance。　〃Oh　no；　Maggie。　You're　not　well　yet。〃

〃Mrs。　Mark；〃　said　Maggie；　〃the　lady　I　told　you　about；　is　coming　in　a　motor　to　fetch　me。　She　will　take　me　straight　to　her　house；　and　then　I　shall　go　to　bed。〃

Aunt　Anne　said　nothing。

〃You　know　that　it's　better　for　me　to　go；〃　said　Maggie。　〃We　can't　live　together　any　more　after　what　happened。　You　and　Aunt　Elizabeth　have　been　very　very　good　to　me；　but　you　know　now　that　I'm　a　disappointment。　I　haven't　ever　fitted　into　the　life　here。　I　never　shall。〃

〃The　life　here　is　over；〃　said　Aunt　Anne。　〃Everything　is　overthe　house　is　dead。　Of　course　you　must　go。　If　you　feel　anger　with　me　now　or　afterwards　remember　that　I　have　lost　every　hope　or　desire　I　ever　had。　I　don't　want　your　pity。　I　want　no　one's　pity。　I　wanted　once　your　affection；　but　I　wanted　it　on　my　own　terms。　That　was　wrong。　I　do　not　want　your　affection　any　longer；　you　were　never　the　girl　I　thought　you。　You're　a　strange　girl；　Maggie；　and　you　will　have；　I　am　afraid；　a　very　unhappy　life。〃

〃No；　I　will　not；〃　said　Maggie。　〃I　will　have　a　happy　life。〃

〃That　is　for　God　to　say；〃　said　Aunt　Anne。

〃No；　it　is　not；〃　said　Maggie。　〃I　can　make　my　own　happiness。　God　can't　touch　it；　if　I　don't　let　Him。〃

〃Maggie；　you're　blasphemous；〃　said　Aunt　Anne；　but　not　in　anger。

〃I'm　not；〃　said　Maggie。　〃When　I　came　here　first　I　didn't　believe　in　God；　but　nowI'm　not　sure。　There's　something　strange；　which　may　be　God　for　all　I　know。　I'm　going　to　find　out。　If　He　has　the　doing　of　everything　then　He's　taken　away　all　I　cared　for；　and　I'm　not　going　to　give　Him　the　satisfaction　of　seeing　that　it　hurt；　if　He　didn't　do　it；　then　it　doesn't　matter。〃

〃You'll　believe　in　Him　before　you　die；　Maggie；〃　said　Aunt　Anne。　〃It's　in　you；　and　you　won't　escape　it。　I　thought　it　was　I　who　was　to　bring　you　to　Him；　but　I　was　going　too　fast。　The　Lord　has　His　own　time。　You'll　come　to　Him　afterwards。〃

〃Oh；〃　cried　Maggie。　〃I'm　so　glad　I'm　going　somewhere　where　it　won't　be　always　religion；　where　they'll　think　of　something　else　than　the　Lord　and　His　Coming。　I　want　real　life；　banks　and　motor…cars　and　shops　and　clothes　and　work　。　。　。〃

She　stopped　suddenly。

Aunt　Anne　was　doing　what　Maggie　had　never　seen　her　do　before；　even　in　the　worst　bouts　of　her　painshe　was　crying　。　。　。　cold　solitary　lonely　tears　that　crept　slowly；　reluctantly　down　her　thin　cheeks。

〃I　meant　to　do　well。　In　everything　I　have　done　ill　。　。　。　Everything　has　failed　in　my　hands〃

Once　again；　as　long　before　at　St。　Dreot's；　Maggie　could　do　nothing。

There　was　a　long　miserable　silence；　then　Aunt　Anne　got　up　and　went　away。

Next　day　Katherine　came　in　a　beautiful　motor…car　to　fetch　Maggie。　Maggie　had　packed　her　few　things。　Bound　her　neck　next　her　skin　was　the　ring　with　three　pearls　。　。　。

She　said　good…bye　to　the　house：　her　bedroom　beneath　which　the　motor…　omnibuses　clanged；　the　sitting…room　with　the　family　group；　the　passage　with　the　Armed　Men；　the　dark　hall　with　the　green　baize　door　。　。　。　then　good…bye　to　Aunt　Elizabeth　（two　kisses）；　Aunt　Anne　（one　kiss）；　Martha；　Thomas　the　cat；　the　parrot　。　。　。　all；　everything；　good…bye；　good…bye；　good…bye！

May　I　never　see　any　of　you　again。　Never；　never；　never；　never！　。　。　。

She　was　helped　into　the　car；　rugs　were　wrapped　round　her；　there　was　a　warm　cosy　smell　of　rich　leather；　a　little　clock　ticked　away；　a　silver　vase　with　red　and　blue　flowers　winked　at　her；　and　Katherine　was　there　cl