the captives-第33章

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r　alarm　came　back　to　her。

〃Why　can't　I　go　out？　I'll　put　on　my　hat　and　just　walk　out。　No　one　can　stop　me。　No　one　。　。　。〃

But　she　knew　that　she　could　not。　Something　more　must　happen　first。　She　turned　from　the　window　with　a　little　shudder；　finished　very　clumsily　her　stocking；　and　as　the　cuckoo　clock　struck　halfpast　three　went　down　to　the　drawing…room。

There　to　her　surprise；　she　found　Caroline　Smith。　The　events　of　the　last　few　days　had；　a　little；　dimmed　Caroline　from　her　memory。　She　had　not　seen　Caroline　for　a　fortnight。　She　did　not　know　that　she　especially　wanted　to　see　Caroline　now。　However；　it　was　very　certain　that　Caroline　wanted　to　see　her。　The　young　woman　was　dressed　in　rose…coloured　silk　that　stood　out　from　her　slim　body　almost　like　a　crinoline；　and　she　had　a　straw　funnel…shaped　hat　with　roses　perched　on　the　side　of　her　lovely　head。　She　kissed　Maggie　many　times；　and　then　sitting　down　with　her　little　sharp　black　shoes　poked　out　in　front　of　her；　she　ran　on：

〃It's　been　too　bad；　Maggie；　dear；　it's　simply　ages　since　we　had　a　moment；　isn't　it；　but　it　hasn't　been　my　fault。　Father's　been　ill　bronchitisand　I've　had　to　help　Mother。　Father's　been　so　happy；　he's　just　been　able　to　lie　in　bed　for　days　and　think　about　God。　None　of　those　tiresome　people　at　the　Bank　to　interrupt　him；　and　chicken　and　jelly　as　much　as　he　liked。　He　was　so　unhappy　yesterday　when　he　had　to　go　back　to　work；　poor　dear　。　。　。　But；　Maggie；　I　hear　you　were　at　the　service　last　night。　How　did　you　like　it？〃

〃Like　it？〃　said　Maggie。　〃I　don't　know　that　it's　a　thing　one　likes；　exactly。〃

〃Doesn't　one？　I　don't　know。　I'm　not　one　of　the　Inside　Saints；　you　know；　and　I　wouldn't　be　if　they　wanted　me　to　he。　But　you're　one　now；　they　say；　and　I　never　would　have　thought　it。　You　don't　look　a　bit　like　one；　and　I　shouldn't　have　dreamt　that　you'd　ever　stand　that　sort　of　thing。　You　look　so　matter…of…fact。〃

Maggie　was　on　the　point　of　bursting　out　that　she　was　not　an　Inside　Saint；　and　would　never　be　one；　when　caution　restrained　her。　She　had　learnt　already　that　her　gay　young　companion　was　not　as　trustworthy　as　best　friends　ought　to　be。

〃It　was　the　first　time；　last　night；〃　she　said。

〃Yes；　I　know；　and　Miss　Cardinal　was　ill　and　had　to　come　away　in　the　middle；　didn't　she？　It　must　have　been　a　simply　awful　meeting；　because　Mother　came　back　as　limp　as　anything。　She'd　been　crying　buckets；　and　has　a　dreadful　headache　to…day。　I　suppose　Mr。　Crashaw　gave　it　them。　I've　never　heard　him；　but　I've　seen　him。　Horrid　old　monkeyI　hope　Miss　Cardinal's　better　to…day。〃

〃Yes；　thank　you；〃　said　Maggie。　〃She's　better。〃

〃Well；　that's　a　good　thing。　I'm　so　glad。　And　you；　you　darling；　what　did　you　think　of　it　all？　I'm　sure　you　didn't　cry　buckets。　I　can　see　you　sitting　there　as　quiet　as　anything；　like　a　little　Quaker。　I'd　like　to　have　gone　just　to　have　seen　you。　I　hear　Martin　Warlock　was　there　too。　Was　he？〃

〃He　was；〃　said　Maggie。

〃Fancy　that！　I　wonder　what　he　went　for。　His　father　made　him；　I　expect。　You　know　they　say　he's　getting　on　awfully　badly　at　home　and　that　there　are　quarrels　all　the　time。　I　don't　know；　of　course；　but　his　sister　can't　stand　him。　She's　always　showing　her　feelingsnot　very　good　taste；　I　think；　but　Mr。　Thurston　eggs　her　on。　They'll　be　making　a　match　of　it　one　day；　those　two　。　。　。　I　say；　Maggie〃　Caroline　drew　her　chair　close。　〃I'll　give　you　a　secret。　You　won't　tell　any　one；　will　you？〃

〃Certainly　notif　you　tell　me　not　to；〃　said　Maggie。

〃Well；　Martin　Warlock　and　Iever　since　he　came　back。　Oh！　I　don't　say　it's　anything　really。　But　he's　attracted　by　me　and　would　like　to　go　farther。　He'll　be　asking　me　to　marry　him　one　of　these　days；　and　then　I'll　have　fun。　He　would　have　done　the　other　day　if　I'd　let　him。　I　like　him　rather；　don't　you？　He's　getting　a　bit　fat；　of　course；　but　he's　got　nice　eyes；　and　then　he's　a　real　man。　I　like　real　men。　But　there；　you'll　be　thinking　me　coarse；　I　know　you　will。　I'm　not　coarse　really；　only　impulsive。　You　don't　like　me；　honestly；　if　it　were　known。　Oh　no！　you　don't！　I　can　tell。　I　always　know。　But　I　don't　careI　love　you。　You're　a　darlingand　what　I　say　is　if　you　love　some　one；　just　love　them。　Never　mind　what　they　think。　Don't　you　agree　with　me？　But　you　wouldn't。　You　wouldn't　think　of　loving　anybody。　But　I'm　not　really　badonly　careless；　Mother　says〃

What　Mother　said　could　not　be　known；　because　the　door　opened　and　Martha　announced　Mr。　Crashaw。　The　old　man；　leaning　on　a　walking　stick；　came　forward　and　greeted　Maggie　and　Caroline　with　good…temper　and　amiability。　He　was　indeed　in　day…time　a　very　mild　old　man；　and　it　was　difficult　for　Maggie　to　believe　that　this　was　the　same　who　last　night　had　frightened　her　out　of　her　wits　and　led　her　to　the　edge　of　such　strange　suspicions。　He　was　more　than　ever　like　a　monkey；　with　his　bony　brown　forehead；　protuberant　eyes　and　large　mottled　nose；　and　he　sat　there　all　huddled　up　by　his　rheumatism；　a　living　example　of　present　physical　torments　rather　than　future　spiritual　ones。　It　was　apparent　at　once　that　he　liked　pretty　young　women；　and　he　paid　Caroline　a　number　of　flattering　attentions；　disregarding　Maggie　with　a　frankness　that　witnessed　to　a　life　that　had　taught　one　lesson　at　least；　never　on　any　occasion　to　waste　time。　Maggie　did　not　mindit　amused　her　to　see　her　terror　of　the　night　before　transformed　into　a　mere　serenading　crippled　old　gentleman；　and　to　see；　too；　the　excited　pleasure　with　which　Caroline　accepted　even　such　decayed　attentions　as　these。　But　what　was　it　that　had　persuaded　her　last　night？　Why　did　she　now　spend　her　time　half　in　one　world　and　half　in　another？　Which　world　was　the　real　one？

Aunt　Anne　very　soon　joined　them；　and　this　quiet；　composed　figure　only　added　to　Maggie's　scorn　of　her　last　night's　terrors。　Was　this　the　same　who　had　struggled　with　such　agony；　who　had　made　Maggie　feel　that　she　was　caught　in　a　trap　and　imprisoned　for　ever？

The　sun　beat　hotly　upon　the　carpet。　Caroline's　rose…coloured　silk　shone　and　glowed；　the　tea　was　poured　out；　and　there　was　chatter　about　the　warm　winter　that　it　was　and　how　time　passed；　and　how　fashions　changed；　and　how　you　never　saw　a　four…wheeler　now；　and　what　they　were　turning　Kingsway　into；　and　what　they　were　turning　the　Law　Courts　out　of；　and　even　once；　by　Mr。　Crashaw；　a　word　about　the　Lyceum　Theatre；　where　some　one　was　playing　the　Merchant　of　Venice；　which　was　a　fine　play　and　could　do　no　one　any　harm。

〃But　I　daresay；〃　said　Mr。　Crashaw；　〃that　this　young　lady　here　goes　to　nothing　but　plays　every　night　of　her　life。〃

〃Why；　Mr。　Crashaw；〃　said　Caroline；　tossing　her　head。　〃If　that's　the　kind　of　life　you　fancy　I　lead　you're　completely　mistaken。　Theatres　indeed！　Never　do　I　put　so　much　as　the　tip　of　my　nose　inside　one。　Father　thinks　they're　wrong　and　so　does　Mother　say　she　does；　although　I　know　she　likes　them；　really；　but　any　way　that　doesn't　matter　because　I　never　have　a　moment　to　myselfsitting　at　home　sewing；　that's　the　way　I　spend　my　days；　Mr。　Crashaw。〃

It　was　the　very　last　way　she　really　spent　them；　as　Maggie　perfectly　well　knew。　It　is　not　to　be　supposed　that　Mr。　Crashaw　either　was　deceived。　However；　he　gave　a　wicked　wink　with　the　eye　that　was　least　rheumatic　and　said　something　about　〃a　beautiful　young　lady　like　Miss　Smith　wasted　on　sewing　and　darning；〃　and　Caroline　smiled　and　said　something　about　〃one　day　perhaps〃and　Aunt　Anne　looked　remotely　benevolent。　What　did　she　think　of　all　this；　Maggie　wondered？　What　did　she　think　of　her　great　preacher；　her　prophet；　wasting　the　few　hours　of　life　that　remained　to　him　over　such　a　business？　They　had　some　secret　understanding；　perhaps；　as　though　they　said　to　one　another；　〃We　know；　you　and　I；　what　are　our　real　intentions　beneath　all　this。　We　only　do　what　we　must。〃

Understanding　or　no；　Mr。　Crashaw　sprang　up　with　unexpected　activity　when　Caroline　departed　and　announced　his　intention　of　conducting　her　to　her　door。　He　made　his　adieus　and　then　hobbled　along　after　the　rose…coloured　silk　as　though　this　was　his　last　chance　of　warming　his　hands　at　the　flame　of　life。

When　they　were　gone；　Aunt　Anne　said：

〃I　am　going　back　to　bed；　Maggie；　dear。　Martha　will　send　me　up　some　supper　later。　Elizabeth　has　gone　to　Lambeth　to　see　a　friend；　so　make　yourself　busy　until　seven；　dear。　If　I　want　anything　I'll　ring。〃

When　she　was　left　alone　in　the　darkening　room　she　stood　there　thinking。　Why　should　she　not　go　out　and　find　Martin？　She　did　not　care　what　any　one　thought。　She　would　go　to　his　house　and　ask　for　him。　She　had　waited　and　waited　。　。　。　She　wanted　him　so；　she　wanted　him　so　desperately！

Then　Martha　opened　the　door　and　announced　him；　yes；　really　announced　him；　saying：　〃It's　young　Mr。　Warlock；　Miss；　and　he　says　if　your　aunts　isn't　in　you'll　do。〃

〃Ask　him　to　come　up；　Martha；〃　said　Maggie；　and　then　held　herself　there；　rooted；　where　she　stood　so　that　she　should　not　run　to　him　and　fling　her　arms　round　his　neck。　She　felt　at　once　with　that　quick　perception　that　was　hers；　in　spite　of　her　ignorance　of　life；　that　this　was　no　moment　for　love…making；　and　that　he　wanted　something　quite　other　from　her。

He　closed　the　door　behind　him；　looked　round　the　room；　didn't　come　to　her；　but　stayed　where　he　was。

〃I've　been　trying　to　see　you　all　day；〃　he　said。　〃How　long　have　we　got　alone　do　you　think？〃　She　never　took　her　eyes　from　his　face。　〃Until　seven　probably。　Aunt　Elizabeth's　in　Lambeth　and　Aunt　Anne's　in　bed。〃

〃That's　luck。〃　He　drew　a　breath　of　relief；　then　moved　over　to　the　fireplace。　〃Maggie；　I've　come　to　say　we　mustn't　see　one　another　any　more。〃

Some　one；　some　vast　figure　shadowy　behind　her；　moved　suddenly　forward　and　caught　her　in　his　arms　and　his　embrace　was　deadly　cold。　She　stood　where　she　was；　her　hands　at　her　side；　looking　steadfastly　at　him。

〃Why？〃　she　said。　〃Becausebecausethe　fact　is；　I've　been　wrong　altogether。　Maggie；　I'm　not　the　sort　of　man　for　you　to　have　anything　to　do　with。　You　don't　know　much　about　life　yet；　do　you？　I'm　about　the　first　man　you've　ever　met；　aren't　I？　If　you'd　met　another　man　before　me；　you'd　have　cared　for　him　as　much。〃

She　said　nothing　and　he　seemed　to　be　confused　by　her　steady　gaze；　because　he　looked　down　and　continued　to　speak　as　though　to　himself：

〃I　knew　at　once　that　there　was　danger　in　our　meeting。　With　other　girls　they　can　look　after　themselves。　One　hasn't　any　responsibility　to　them。　It's　their　own　affair；　but　you　believe　every　word　a　fellow　says。　And　if　we'd　been　friends　it　wouldn't　have　mattered；　but　from　the　very　first　we　weren't　thatwe　were　something　more。〃

〃You　were　so　different　from　any　other　girl。　I've　wanted　to　be　good　to　you　from　the　beginning；　but　now　I　see　that　if　we　go　on　I　shall　only　be　bad。　It　all　comes　in　the　end　to　my　being　badreally　bad　and　I　want　you　to　know　it。〃　〃I　don't　know；〃　said　Maggie；　〃that　I've　thought　very　much　whether　you're　good　or　bad。　And　it　doesn't　matter。　I　can　look　after　myself。〃

〃No；　you　can't；〃　he　said　vehemently；　making　a　step　towards　her　and　then　suddenly　stopping。　〃That's　just　ityou　can't。　I've　been　thinking　all　the　time　since　the　other　evening　when　we　were　together；　and　I've　seen　that　you　believe　every　word　I　say　and　you　trust　me。　I　don't　mean　to　tell　liesI　don't　know　that　I'm　worse　than　most　other　menbut　I'm　not　good　enough　for　you　to　trust　in　all　the　same。　I've　been　knocking　about　for　years；　and　I　suppose　I've　had　most　of　my　idealism　knocked　out　of　me。　Anyway