a dream of armageddom-第4章

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〃She　began　to　weep；　saying；　between　her　sobs；　and　clinging　to

my　arm　as　she　said　it；　'Go　backGo　back。'



〃Then　suddenly　she　fell　mute；　and；　glancing　down　at　her　face；

I　read　in　an　instant　the　thing　she　had　thought　to　do。　　It　was　one

of　those　moments　when　one　sees。



〃'No！'　I　said。



〃'No？'　she　asked；　in　surprise　and　I　think　a　little　fearful　at

the　answer　to　her　thought。



〃'Nothing；'　I　said；　'shall　send　me　back。　　Nothing！　　I　have

chosen。　　Love；　I　have　chosen；　and　the　world　must　go。　　Whatever

happens　I　will　live　this　lifeI　will　live　for　you！　　Itnothing

shall　turn　me　aside；　nothing；　my　dear　one。　　Even　if　you　diedeven

if　you　died'



〃'Yes？'　she　murmured；　softly。



〃'ThenI　also　would　die。'



〃And　before　she　could　speak　again　I　began　to　talk；　talking

eloquentlyas　I　could　do　in　that　lifetalking　to　exalt　love；　to

make　the　life　we　were　living　seem　heroic　and　glorious；　and　the

thing　I　was　deserting　something　hard　and　enormously　ignoble　that　it

was　a　fine　thing　to　set　aside。　　I　bent　all　my　mind　to　throw　that

glamour　upon　it；　seeking　not　only　to　convert　her　but　myself　to

that。　　We　talked；　and　she　clung　to　me；　torn　too　between　all　that

she　deemed　noble　and　all　that　she　knew　was　sweet。　　And　at　last　I

did　make　it　heroic；　made　all　the　thickening　disaster　of　the　world

only　a　sort　of　glorious　setting　to　our　unparalleled　love；　and　we

two　poor　foolish　souls　strutted　there　at　last；　clad　in　that

splendid　delusion；　drunken　rather　with　that　glorious　delusion；

under　the　still　stars。



〃And　so　my　moment　passed。



〃It　was　my　last　chance。　　Even　as　we　went　to　and　fro　there；　the

leaders　of　the　south　and　east　were　gathering　their　resolve；　and　the

hot　answer　that　shattered　Evesham's　bluffing　for　ever；　took　shape

and　waited。　　And；　all　over　Asia；　and　the　ocean；　and　the　South；　the

air　and　the　wires　were　throbbing　with　their　warnings　to　prepare

prepare。



〃No　one　living；　you　know；　knew　what　war　was；　no　one　could

imagine；　with　all　these　new　inventions；　what　horror　war　might

bring。　　I　believe　most　people　still　believed　it　would　be　a　matter

of　bright　uniforms　and　shouting　charges　and　triumphs　and　flags　and

bandsin　a　time　when　half　the　world　drew　its　food　supply　from

regions　ten　thousand　miles　away〃



The　man　with　the　white　face　paused。　　I　glanced　at　him；　and　his

face　was　intent　on　the　floor　of　the　carriage。　　A　little　railway

station；　a　string　of　loaded　trucks；　a　signal…box；　and　the　back　of

a　cottage；　shot　by　the　carriage　window；　and　a　bridge　passed　with　a

clap　of　noise；　echoing　the　tumult　of　the　train。



〃After　that；〃　he　said；　〃I　dreamt　often。　　For　three　weeks　of

nights　that　dream　was　my　life。　　And　the　worst　of　it　was　there　were

nights　when　I　could　not　dream；　when　I　lay　tossing　on　a　bed　in　this

accursed　life；　and　theresomewhere　lost　to　methings　were

happeningmomentous；　terrible　things　。　。　。　I　lived　at　nightsmy

days；　my　waking　days；　this　life　I　am　living　now；　became　a　faded；

far…away　dream；　a　drab　setting；　the　cover　of　the　book。〃



He　thought。



〃I　could　tell　you　all；　tell　you　every　little　thing　in　the

dream；　but　as　to　what　I　did　in　the　daytimeno。　　I　could　not

tellI　do　not　remember。　　My　memorymy　memory　has　gone。　　The

business　of　life　slips　from　me〃



He　leant　forward；　and　pressed　his　hands　upon　his　eyes。　　For　a

long　time　he　said　nothing。



〃And　then？〃　said　I。



〃The　war　burst　like　a　hurricane。〃



He　stared　before　him　at　unspeakable　things。



〃And　then？〃　I　urged　again。



〃One　touch　of　unreality；〃　he　said；　in　the　low　tone　of　a　man

who　speaks　to　himself；〃　and　they　would　have　been　nightmares。　　But

they　were　not　nightmaresthey　were　not　nightmares。　　No！〃



He　was　silent　for　so　long　that　it　dawned　upon　me　that　there

was　a　danger　of　losing　the　rest　of　the　story。　　But　he　went　on

talking　again　in　the　same　tone　of　questioning　self…communion。



〃What　was　there　to　do　but　flight？　　I　had　not　thought　the　war

would　touch　CapriI　had　seemed　to　see　Capri　as　being　out　of　it

all；　as　the　contrast　to　it　all；　but　two　nights　after　the　whole

place　was　shouting　and　bawling；　every　woman　almost　and　every　other

man　wore　a　badgeEvesham's　badgeand　there　was　no　music　but　a

jangling　war…song　over　and　over　again；　and　everywhere　men

enlisting；　and　in　the　dancing　halls　they　were　drilling。　　The　whole

island　was　awhirl　with　rumours；　it　was　said；　again　and　again；　that

fighting　had　begun。　　I　had　not　expected　this。　　I　had　seen　so　little

of　the　life　of　pleasure　that　I　had　failed　to　reckon　with　this

violence　of　the　amateurs。　　And　as　for　me；　I　was　out　of　it。　　I　was

like　the　man　who　might　have　prevented　the　firing　of　a　magazine。　

The　time　had　gone。　　I　was　no　one；　the　vainest　stripling　with　a

badge　counted　for　more　than　I。　　The　crowd　jostled　us　and　bawled　in

our　ears；　that　accursed　song　deafened　us；　a　woman　shrieked　at　my

lady　because　no　badge　was　on　her；　and　we　two　went　back　to　our　own

place　again；　ruffled　and　insultedmy　lady　white　and　silent；　and　I

aquiver　with　rage。　　So　furious　was　I；　I　could　have　quarrelled　with

her　if　I　could　have　found　one　shade　of　accusation　in　her　eyes。



〃All　my　magnificence　had　gone　from　me。　　I　walked　up　and　down

our　rock　cell；　and　outside　was　the　darkling　sea　and　a　light　to　the

southward　that　flared　and　passed　and　came　again。



〃'We　must　get　out　of　this　place；'　I　said　over　and　over。　　'I

have　made　my　choice；　and　I　will　have　no　hand　in　these　troubles。　　I

will　have　nothing　of　this　war。　　We　have　taken　our　lives　out　of　all

these　things。　　This　is　no　refuge　for　us。　　Let　us　go。'



〃And　the　next　day　we　were　already　in　flight　from　the　war　that

covered　the　world。



〃And　all　the　rest　was　Flightall　the　rest　was　Flight。〃



He　mused　darkly。



〃How　much　was　there　of　it？〃



He　made　no　answer。



〃How　many　days？〃



His　face　was　white　and　drawn　and　his　hands　were　clenched。　　He

took　no　heed　of　my　curiosity。



I　tried　to　draw　him　back　to　his　story　with　questions。



〃Where　did　you　go？〃　I　said。



〃When？〃



〃When　you　left　Capri。〃



〃South…west；〃　he　said；　and　glanced　at　me　for　a　second。　　〃We

went　in　a　boat。〃



〃But　I　should　have　thought　an　aeroplane？〃



〃They　had　been　seized。〃



I　questioned　him　no　more。　Presently　I　thought　he　was　beginning

again。　　He　broke　out　in　an　argumentative　monotone：



〃But　why　should　it　be？　　If；　indeed；　this　battle；　this

slaughter　and　stress　is　life；　why　have　we　this　craving　for　pleasure

and　beauty？　　If　there　is　no　refuge；　if　there　is　no　place　of　peace；

and　if　all　our　dreams　of　quiet　places　are　a　folly　and　a　snare；　why

have　we　such　dreams？　　Surely　it　was　no　ignoble　cravings；　no　base

intentions；　had　brought　us　to　this；　it　was　Love　had　isolated　us。　

Love　had　come　to　me　with　her　eyes　and　robed　in　her　beauty；　more

glorious　than　all　else　in　life；　in　the　very　shape　and　colour　of

life；　and　summoned　me　away。　　I　had　silenced　all　the　voices；　I　had

answered　all　the　questionsI　had　come　to　her。　　And　suddenly　there

was　nothing　but　War　and　Death！〃



I　had　an　inspiration。　　〃　After　all；〃　I　said；　〃it　could　have

been　only　a　dream。〃



〃A　dream！〃　he　cried；　flaming　upon　me；　〃a　dreamwhen；　even

now〃



For　the　first　time　he　became　animated。　　A　faint　flush　crept

into　his　cheek。　　He　raised　his　open　hand　and　clenched　it；　and

dropped　it　to　his　knee。　　He　spoke；　looking　away　from　me；　and　for

all　the　rest　of　the　time　he　looked　away。　　〃We　are　but　phantoms！〃　he

said；　〃and　the　phantoms　of　phantoms；　desires　like　cloud…shadows　and

wills　of　straw　that　eddy　in　the　wind；　the　days　pass；　use　and　wont

carry　us　through　as　a　train　carries　the　shadow　of　its　lightsso　be

it！　　But　one　thing　is　real　and　certain；　one　thing　is　no　dream…

stuff；　but　eternal　and　enduring。　　It　is　the　centre　of　my　life；　and

all　other　things　about　it　are　subordinate　or　altogether　vain。　　I

loved　her；　that　woman　of　a　dream。　　And　she　and　I　are　dead　together！



〃A　dream！　　How　can　it　be　a　dream；　when　it　drenched　a　living

life　with　unappeasable　sorrow；　when　it　makes　all　that　I　have　lived

for　and　cared　for；　worthless　and　unmeaning？



〃Until　that　very　moment　when　she　was　killed　I　believed　we　had

still　a　chance　of　getting　away；〃　he　said。　　〃All　through　the　night

and　morning　that　we　sailed　across　the　sea　from　Capri　to　Salerno；　we

talked　of　escape。　　We　were　full　of　hope；　and　it　clung　about　us　to

the　end；　hope　for　the　life　together　we　should　lead；　out　of　it　all；

out　of　the　battle　and　struggle；　the　wild　and　empty　passions；　the

empty　arbitrary　'thou　shalt'　and　'thou　shalt　not'　of　the　world。　　We

were　uplifted；　as　though　our　quest　was　a　holy　thing；　as　though　love

for　another　was　a　mission　。　。　。　。



〃Even　when　from　our　boat　we　saw　the　fair　face　of　that　great

rock　Caprialready　scarred　and　gashed　by　the　gun　emplacements　and

hiding…places　that　were　to　make　it　a　fastnesswe　reckoned　nothing

of　the　imminent　slaughter；　though　the　fury　of　preparation　hung

about　in　the　puffs　and　clouds　of　dust　at　a　hundred　points　amidst

the　gray；　but；　indeed；　I　made　a　text　of　that　and　talked。　　There；

you　know；　was　the　rock；　still　beautiful　for　all　its　scars；　with　its

countless　windows　and　arches　and　ways；　tier　upon　tier；　for　a

thousand　feet；　a　vast　carving　of　gray；　broken　by　vine…clad

terraces；　and　lemon　and　orange　groves；　and　masses　of　agave　and

prickly　pear；　and　puffs　of　almond　blossom。　　And　out　under　the

archway　that　is　built　over　the　Piccola　Marina　other　boats　were

coming；　and　as　we　came　round　the　cape　and　within　sight　of　the

mainland；　another　little　string　of　boats　came　into　view；　driving

before　the　wind　towards　the　south…west。　　In　a　little　while　a

multitude　had　come　out；　the　remoter　just　little　specks　of

ultramarine　in　the　shadow　of　the　eastward　cliff。



〃'It　is　love　and　reason；'　I　said；　'fleeing　from　all　this

madness　of　war。'



〃And　though　we　presently　saw　a　squadron　of　aeroplanes　flying

across　the　southern　sky　we　did　not　heed　it。　　There　it　wasa　line

of　little　dots　in　the　skyand　then　more；　dotting　the　south…eastern

horizon；　and　then　still　more；　until　all　that　quarter　of　the　sky　was

stippled　with　blue　specks。　　Now　they　were　all　thin　little　strokes

of　blue；　and　now　one　and　now　a　multitude　would　heel　and　catch　the

sun　and　become　short　flashes　of　light。　　They　came；　rising　and

falling　and　growing　larger；　like　some　huge　flight　of　gulls　or　rooks

or　such…like　birds；　moving　with　a　marvellous　uniformity；　and　ever

as　they　drew　nearer　they　spread　over　a　greater　width　of　sky。　　The

southward　wind　flung　itself　in　an　arrow…headed　cloud　athwart　the

sun。　　And　then　suddenly　they　swept　round　to　the　eastward　and

streamed　eastward；　growing　smaller　and　smaller　and　clearer　and

clearer　again　until　they　vanished　from　the　sky。　　And　after　that　we

noted　to　the　northward　and　very　high　Evesham's　fighting　machines

hanging　high　over　Naples　like　an　evening　swarm　of　gnats。



〃It　seemed　to　have　no　more　to　do　with　us　than　a　flight　of

birds。



〃Even　the　mutter　of　guns　far　away　in　the　south…e