the complete plays-第98章
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LIEUT。 And how came you to leave your last employ？
POINT Why； sir； it was in this wise。 My Lord was the
Archbishop of Canterbury； and it was considered that
one of my jokes was unsuited to His Grace's family
circle。 In truth； I ventured to ask a poor riddle；
sir Wherein lay the difference between His Grace and
poor Jack Point？ His Grace was pleased to give it up；
sir。 And thereupon I told him that whereas His Grace
was paid 10；000 a year for being good； poor Jack Point
was good for nothing。 'Twas but a harmless jest； but
it offended His Grace； who whipped me and set me in
the stocks for a scurril rogue； and so we parted。 I
had as lief not take post again with the dignified
clergy。
LIEUT。 But I trust you are very careful not to give offence。
I have daughters。
POINT Sir； my jests are most carefully selected； and
anything objectionable is expunged。 If your honour
pleases； I will try then first on your honour's
chaplain。
LIEUT。 Can you give me an example？ Say that I had sat me down
hurriedly on something sharp？
POINT Sir； I should say that you had sat down on the spur of
the moment。
LIEUT。 Humph！ I don't think much of that。 Is that the best
you can do？
POINT It has always been much admired； sir； but we will try
again。
LIEUT。 Well； then； I am at dinner； and the joint of meat is
but half cooked。
POINT Why then； sir； I should say that what is underdone
cannot be helped。
LIEUT。 I see。 I think that manner of thing would be somewhat
irritating。
POINT At first； sir； perhaps； but use is everything； and you
would come in time to like it。
LIEUT。 We will suppose that I caught you kissing the kitchen
wench under my very nose。
POINT Under her very nose； good sir not under yours！ That
is where I would kiss her。 Do you take me？ Oh； sir； a
pretty wit a pretty； pretty wit！
LIEUT。 The maiden comes。 Follow me； friend； and we will
discuss this matter at length in my library。
POINT I am your worship's servant。 That is to say； I trust
I soon shall be。 But； before proceeding to a more
serious topic； can you tell me； sir； why a cook's
brain…pan is like an overwound clock？
LIEUT。 A truce to this fooling follow me。
POINT Just my luck； my best conundrum wasted！
＇Exeunt LIEUTENANT and POINT。 Enter ELSIE from Tower； led
by WILFRED； who removes the bandage from her eyes； and
exits。
No。 10。 'Tis done！ I am a bride！
（RECITATIVE AND SONG）
Elsie
ELSIE 'Tis done！ I am a bride！ Oh； little ring；
That bearest in thy circlet all the gladness
That lovers hope for； and that poets sing；
What bringest thou to me but gold and sadness？
A bridegroom all unknown； save in this wise；
To…day he dies！ To…day； alas； he dies！
Though tear and long…drawn sigh
Ill fit a bride；
No sadder wife than I
The whole world wide！
Ah me！ Ah me！
Yet maids there be
Who would consent to lose
The very rose of youth；
The flow'r of life；
To be； in honest truth；
A wedded wife；
No matter whose！
No matter whose！
Ah me！ what profit we；
O maids that sigh；
Though gold； though gold should live
If wedded love must die？
Ere half an hour has rung；
A widow I！
Ah； heaven； he is too young；
Too brave to die！
Ah me！ Ah me！
Yet wives there be
So weary worn； I trow；
That they would scarce complain；
So that they could
In half an hour attain
To widowhood；
No matter how！
No matter how！
O weary wives
Who widowhood would win；
Rejoice； rejoice； that ye have time
To weary in。
O weary wives
Who widowhood would win；
Rejoice； rejoice； rejoice；
that ye have time
O weary； weary wives； rejoice！
＇Exit ELSIE as WILFRED re…enters。
WILFRED ＇looking after ELSIE＇ 'Tis an odd freak for a dying
man and his confessor to be closeted alone with a
strange singing girl。 I would fain have espied them；
but they stopped up the keyhole。 My keyhole！
＇Enter PHOEBE with SERGEANT MERYLL。 MERYLL remains in the
background； unobserved by WILFRED。
PHOEBE ＇aside＇ Wilfred and alone！
WILFRED Now what could he have wanted with her？ That's what
puzzles me！
PHOEBE ＇aside＇ Now to get the keys from him。
＇Aloud＇ Wilfred has no reprieve arrived？
WILFRED None。 Thine adored Fairfax is to die。
PHOEBE Nay； thou knowest that I have naught but pity for the
poor condemned gentleman。
WILFRED I know that he who is about to die is more to thee
than I； who am alive and well。
PHOEBE Why； that were out of reason； dear Wilfred。 Do they
not say that a live ass is better than a dead lion？
No； I didn't mean that！
WILFRED Oh； they say that； do they？
PHOEBE It's unpardonably rude of them； but I believe they put
it in that way。 Not that it applies to thee； who art
clever beyond all telling！
WILFRED Oh yes； as an assistant…tormentor。
PHOEBE Nay； as a wit； as a humorist； as a most philosophic
commentator on the vanity of human resolution。
＇PHOEBE slyly takes bunch of keys from WILFRED's waistband
and hands them to MERYLL； who enters the Tower； unnoticed
by WILFRED。
WILFRED Truly； I have seen great resolution give way under my
persuasive methods ＇working with a small thumbscrew＇。
In the nice regulation of a thumbscrew in the
hundredth part of a single revolution lieth all the
difference between stony reticence and a torrent of
impulsive unbosoming that the pen can scarcely follow。
Ha！ ha！ I am a mad wag。
PHOEBE ＇with a grimace＇ Thou art a most light…hearted and
delightful companion； Master Wilfred。 Thine anecdotes
of the torture…chamber are the prettiest hearing。
WILFRED I'm a pleasant fellow an' I choose。 I believe I am the
merriest dog that barks。 Ah； we might be passing happy
together
PHOEBE Perhaps。 I do not know。
WILFRED For thou wouldst make a most tender and loving wife。
PHOEBE Aye； to one whom I really loved。 For there is a wealth
of love within this little heart saving up for I
wonder whom？ Now； of all the world of men； I wonder
whom？ To think that he whom I am to wed is now alive
and somewhere！ Perhaps far away； perhaps close at
hand！ And I know him not！ It seemeth that I am wasting
time in not knowing him。
WILFRED Now say that it is I nay！ suppose it for the nonce。
Say that we are wed suppose it only say that thou
art my very bride； and I thy cherry； joyous； bright；
frolicsome husband and that； the day's work being
done； and the prisoners stored away for the night；
thou and I are alone together with a long； long
evening before us！
PHOEBE ＇with a grimace＇ It is a pretty picture but I
scarcely know。 It cometh so unexpectedly and yetand
yet were I thy bride
WILFRED Aye！ wert thou my bride？
PHOEBE Oh； how I would love thee！
No。 11。 Were I thy bride
（SONG）
Phoebe
PHOEBE Were I thy bride；
Then all the world beside
Were not too wide
To hold my wealth of love
Were I thy bride！
Upon thy breast
My loving head would rest；
As on her nest
The tender turtle dove
Were I thy bride！
This heart of mine
Would be one heart with thine；
And in that shrine
Our happiness would dwell
Were I thy bride！
And all day long
Our lives should be a song：
No grief； no wrong
Should make my heart rebel
Were I thy bride！
The silvery flute；
The melancholy lute；
Were night…owl's hoot
To my low…whispered coo
Were I thy bride！
The skylark's trill
Were but discordance shrill
To the soft thrill
Of wooing as I'd woo
Were I thy bride！
＇MERYLL re…enters； gives keys to PHOEBE； who replaces
them at WILFRED's girdle； unnoticed by him。 Exit
MERYLL。
The rose's sigh
Were as a carrion's cry
To lullaby
Such as I'd sing to thee；
Were I thy bride！
A feather's press
Were leaden heaviness to my caress。
But then； of course； you see；
I'm not thy bride。
＇Exit PHOEBE
WILFRED No； thou'rt not not yet！ But； Lord； how she woo'd； I
should be no mean judge of wooing； seeing that I have
been more hotly woo'd than most men。 I have been woo'd
by maid； widow； and wife。 I have been woo'd boldly；
timidly； tearfully； shyly by direct assault； by
suggestion； by implication； by inference； and by
innuend
