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GHOSTS
SIR RUPERT MURGATROYD ��the First Baronet��
SIR JASPER MURGATROYD ��the Third Baronet��
SIR LIONEL MURGATROYD ��the Sixth Baronet��
SIR CONRAD MURGATROYD ��the Twelfth Baronet��
SIR DESMOND MURGATROYD ��the Sixteenth Baronet��
SIR GILBERT MURGATROYD ��the Eighteenth Baronet��
SIR MERVYN MURGATROYD ��the Twentieth Baronet��
and
SIR RODERIC MURGATROYD ��the Twenty´first Baronet��
Chorus of Officers�察�Ancestors�察�Professional Bridesmaids�察�and
Villagers
ACT I
The Fishing Village of Rederring�察�in Cornwall
ACT II
The Picture Gallery in Ruddigore Castle
TIME
Early in the 19th Century
ACT I
SCENE。 The fishing village of Rederring ��in Cornwall��。 Rose
Maybud's cottage is seen L。
Enter Chorus of Bridesmaids。 They range themselves in front of
Rose's cottage。
CHORUS OF BRIDESMAIDS。
Fair is Rose as bright May´day��
Soft is Rose as the warm west´wind��
Sweet is Rose as the new´mown hay
Rose is queen of maiden´kind��
Rose�察�all glowing
With virgin blushes�察�say
Is anybody going
To marry you to´day��
SOLOZORAH。
Every day�察�as the days roll on��
Bridesmaids' garb we gaily don��
Sure that a maid so fairly famed
Can't long remain unclaimed。
Hour by hour and day by day��
Several months have passed away��
Though she's the fairest flower that blows��
No one has married Rose��
CHORUS。
Rose�察�all glowing
With virgin blushes�察�say
Is anybody going
To marry you to´day��
ZORAH。 Hour by hour and day by day��
Months have passed away。
CHORUS。 Fair is Rose as bright Mayday�察�etc。
��Enter Dame Hannah�察�from cottage。��
HANNAH。 Nay�察�gentle maidens�察�you sing well but vainly�察�for
Rose is still heart´free�察�and looks but coldly upon her many
suitors。
ZORAH。 It's very disappointing。 Every young man in the
village is in love with her�察�but they are appalled by her beauty
and modesty�察�and won't declare themselves�察�so�察�until she makes
her own choice�察�there's no chance for anybody else。
RUTH。 This is�察�perhaps�察�the only village in the world that
possesses an endowed corps of professional bridesmaids who are
bound to be on duty every day from ten to fourand it is at
least six months since our services were required。 The pious
charity by which we exist is practically wasted��
ZOR。 We shall be disendowedthat will be the end of it� �
Dame Hannahyou're a nice old personyou could marry if you
liked。 There's old AdamRobin's faithful servanthe loves you
with all the frenzy of a boy of fourteen。
HAN。 Naythat may never be�察�for I am pledged��
ALL。 To whom��
HAN。 To an eternal maidenhood� �Many years ago I was
betrothed to a god´like youth who woo'd me under an assumed name。
But on the very day upon which our wedding was to have been
celebrated�察�I discovered that he was no other than Sir Roderic
Murgatroyd�察�one of the bad Baronets of Ruddigore�察�and the uncle
of the man who now bears that title。 As a son of that accursed
race he was no husband for an honest girl�察�so�察�madly as I loved
him�察�I left him then and there。 He died but ten years since�察�but
I never saw him again。
ZOR。 But why should you not marry a bad Baronet of
Ruddigore��
RUTH。 All baronets are bad�察�but was he worse than other
baronets��
HAN。 My child�察�he was accursed。
ZOR。 But who cursed him�拭 �Not you�察�I trust��
HAN。 The curse is on all his line and has been�察�ever since
the time of Sir Rupert�察�the first Baronet。 Listen�察�and you shall
hear the legend��
LEGENDHANNAH。
Sir Rupert Murgatroyd
His leisure and his riches
He ruthlessly employed
In persecuting witches。
With fear he'd make them quake
He'd duck them in his lake
He'd break their bones
With sticks and stones��
And burn them at the stake��
CHORUS。 This sport he much enjoyed��
Did Rupert Murgatroyd
No sense of shame
Or pity came
To Rupert Murgatroyd��
Once�察�on the village green��
A palsied hag he roasted��
And what took place�察�I ween��
Shook his composure boasted��
For�察�as the torture grim
Seized on each withered limb��
The writhing dame
`Mid fire and flame
Yelled forth this curse on him��
;Each lord of Ruddigore��
Despite his best endeavour��
Shall do one crime�察�or more��
Once�察�every day�察�for ever��
This doom he can't defy��
However he may try��
For should he stay
His hand�察�that day
In torture he shall die� �
The prophecy came true��
Each heir who held the title
Had�察�every day�察�to do
Some crime of import vital��
Until�察�with guilt o'erplied��
;I'll Sin no more� ─�he cried��
And on the day
He said that say��
In agony he died��
CHORUS。 And thus�察�with sinning cloyed��
Has died each Murgatroyd��
And so shall fall��
Both one and all��
Each coming Murgatroyd��
��Exeunt Chorus of Bridesmaids。��
��Enter Rose Maybud from cottage�察�with small basket on her arm。��
HAN。 Whither away�察�dear Rose�拭 �On some errand of charity��
as is thy wont��
ROSE。 A few gifts�察�dear aunt�察�for deserving villagers。 Lo��
here is some peppermint rock for old gaffer Gadderby�察�a set of
false teeth for pretty little Ruth Rowbottom�察�and a pound of
snuff for the poor orphan girl on the hill。
HAN。 Ah�察�Rose�察�pity that so much goodness should not help
to make some gallant youth happy for life� �Rose�察�why dost thou
harden that little heart of thine�拭 �Is there none hereaway whom
thou couldst love��
ROSE。 And if there were such an one�察�verily it would ill
become me to tell him so。
HAN。 Nay�察�dear one�察�where true love is�察�there is little
need of prim formality。
ROSE。 Hush�察�dear aunt�察�for thy words pain me sorely。 Hung
in a plated dish´cover to the knocker of the workhouse door�察�with
naught that I could call mine own�察�save a change of baby´linen
and a book of etiquette�察�little wonder if I have always regarded
that work as a voice from a parent's tomb。 This hallowed volume
��producing a book of etiquette���察�composed�察�if I may believe the
title´page�察�by no less an authority than the wife of a Lord
Mayor�察�has been�察�through life�察�my guide and monitor。 By its
solemn precepts I have learnt to test the moral worth of all who
approach me。 The man who bites his bread�察�or eats peas with a
knife�察�I look upon as a lost creature�察�and he who has not
acquired the proper way of entering and leaving a room is the
object of my pitying horror。 There are those in this village who
bite their nails�察�dear aunt�察�and nearly all are wont to use their
pocket combs in public places。 In truth I could pursue this
painful theme much further�察�but behold�察�I have said enough。
HAN。 But is there not one among them who is faultless�察�in
thine eyes�拭 �For exampleyoung Robin。 He combines the manners
of a Marquis with the morals of a Methodist。 Couldst thou not
love him��
ROSE。 And even if I could�察�how should I confess it unto
him�拭 �For lo�察�he is shy�察�and sayeth naught��
BALLADROSE。
If somebody there chanced to be
Who loved me in a manner true��
My heart would point him out to me��
And I would point him out to you。
��Referring But here it says of those who point
to book。�� Their manners must be out of joint
You may not point
You must not point
It's manners out of joint�察�to point��
Ah� �Had I the love of such as he��
Some quiet spot he'd take me to��
Then he could whisper it to me��
And I could whisper it to you。
��Referring But whispering�察�I've somewhere met�察�
to book。�� Is contrary to etiquette��
Where can it be ��Searching book。��
Now let me see��Finding reference。��
Yes�察�yes��
It's contrary to etiquette� �
��Showing it to Dame Hannah。��
If any well´bred youth I knew��
Polite and gentle�察�neat and trim��
Then I would hint as much to you��
And you could hint as much to him。
��Referring But here it says�察�in plainest print��
to book。�� ;It's most unladylike to hint;
You may not hint��
You must not hint
It says you mustn't hint�察�in print��
Ah� �And if I loved him through and through
��True love and not a passing whim����
Then I could speak of it to you��
And you could speak of it to him。
��Referring But here I find it doesn't do
to book。�� To speak until you're spoken to。
Where can it be�拭 。�Searching book。��
Now let me see��Finding reference。��
Yes�察�yes��
;Don't speak until you're spoken to� �
��Exit Dame Hannah。��
ROSE。 Poor aunt� �Little did the good soul think�察�when she
breathed the hallowed name of Robin�察�that he would do even as
well as another。 But he resembleth all the youths in this
village�察�in that he is unduly bashful in my presence�察�and lo�察�it
is hard to bring him to the point。 But soft�察�he is here� �
��Rose is about to go when Robin enters and calls her。��
ROBIN。 Mistress Rose��
ROSE。