the law and the lady-第7章

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_not_　lawfully　married；　my　son　（whatever　his　faults　and　failings
may　be）　is　a　gentleman。　He　is　incapable　of　willfully　deceiving　a
woman　who　loves　and　trusts　him。　He　will　do　you　justice。　On　my
side；　I　will　do　you　justice；　too。　If　the　legal　opinion　is　adverse
to　your　rightful　claims；　I　will　promise　to　answer　any　questions
which　you　may　choose　to　put　to　me。　As　it　is；　I　believe　you　to　be
lawfully　my　son's　wife；　and　I　say　again；　make　the　best　of　your
position。　Be　satisfied　with　your　husband's　affectionate　devotion
to　you。　If　you　value　your　peace　of　mind　and　the　happiness　of　your
life　to　come；　abstain　from　attempting　to　know　more　than　you　know
now。〃

She　sat　down　again　with　the　air　of　a　woman　who　had　said　her　last
word。

Further　remonstrance　would　be　useless；　I　could　see　it　in　her
face；　I　could　hear　it　in　her　voice。　I　turned　round　to　open　the
drawing…room　door。

〃You　are　hard　on　me；　madam；〃　I　said　at　parting。　〃I　am　at　your
mercy；　and　I　must　submit。〃

She　suddenly　looked　up；　and　answered　me　with　a　flush　on　her　kind
and　handsome　old　face。

〃As　God　is　my　witness；　child；　I　pity　you　from　the　bottom　of　my
heart！〃

After　that　extraordinary　outburst　of　feeling；　she　took　up　her
work　with　one　hand；　and　signed　to　me　with　the　other　to　leave　her。

I　bowed　to　her　in　silence；　and　went　out。

I　had　entered　the　house　far　from　feeling　sure　of　the　course　I
ought　to　take　in　the　future。　I　left　the　house　positively
resolved；　come　what　might　of　it；　to　discover　the　secret　which　the
mother　and　son　were　hiding　from　me。　As　to　the　question　of　the
name；　I　saw　it　now　in　the　light　in　which　I　ought　to　have　seen　it
from　the　first。　If　Mrs。　Macallan　_had_　been　twice　married　（as　I
had　rashly　chosen　to　suppose）；　she　would　certainly　have　shown
some　signs　of　recognition　when　she　heard　me　addressed　by　her
first　husband's　name。　Where　all　else　was　mystery；　there　was　no
mystery　here。　Whatever　his　reasons　might　be；　Eustace　had
assuredly　married　me　under　an　assumed　name。

Approaching　the　door　of　our　lodgings；　I　saw　my　husband　walking
backward　and　forward　before　it；　evidently　waiting　for　my　return。
If　he　asked　me　the　question；　I　decided　to　tell　him　frankly　where
I　had　been；　and　what　had　passed　between　his　mother　and　myself。

He　hurried　to　meet　me　with　signs　of　disturbance　in　his　face　and
manner。

〃I　have　a　favor　to　ask　of　you；　Valeria；〃　he　said。　〃Do　you　mind
returning　with　me　to　London　by　the　next　train？〃

I　looked　at　him。　In　the　popular　phrase；　I　could　hardly　believe　my
own　ears。

〃It's　a　matter　of　business；〃　he　went　on；　〃of　no　interest　to　any
one　but　myself；　and　it　requires　my　presence　in　London。　You　don't
wish　to　sail　just　yet；　as　I　understand？　I　can't　leave　you　here　by
yourself。　Have　you　any　objection　to　going　to　London　for　a　day　or
two？〃

I　made　no　objection。　I　too　was　eager　to　go　back。

In　London　I　could　obtain　the　legal　opinion　which　would　tell　me
whether　I　were　lawfully　married　to　Eustace　or　not。　In　London　I
should　be　within　reach　of　the　help　and　advice　of　my　father's
faithful　old　clerk。　I　could　confide　in　Benjamin　as　I　could
confide　in　no　one　else。　Dearly　as　I　loved　my　uncle　Starkweather；
I　shrank　from　communicating　with　him　in　my　present　need。　His　wife
had　told　me　that　I　made　a　bad　beginning　when　I　signed　the　wrong
name　in　the　marriage　register。　Shall　I　own　it？　My　pride　shrank
from　acknowledging；　before　the　honeymoon　was　over；　that　his　wife
was　right。

　In　two　hours　more　we　were　on　the　railway　again。　Ah；　what　a
contrast　that　second　journey　presented　to　the　first！　On　our　way
to　Ramsgate　everybody　could　see　that　we　were　a　newly　wedded
couple。　On　our　way　to　London　nobody　noticed　us；　nobody　would　have
doubted　that　we　had　been　married　for　years。

We　went　to　a　private　hotel　in　the　neighborhood　of　Portland　Place。

After　breakfast　the　next　morning　Eustace　announced　that　he　must
leave　me　to　attend　to　his　business。　I　had　previously　mentioned　to
him　that　I　had　some　purchases　to　make　in　London。　He　was　quite
willing　to　let　me　go　out　alone；　on　the　condition　that　I　should
take　a　carriage　provided　by　the　hotel。

My　heart　was　heavy　that　morning：　I　felt　the　unacknowledged
estrangement　that　had　grown　up　between　us　very　keenly。　My　husband
opened　the　door　to　go　out；　and　came　back　to　kiss　me　before　he
left　me　by　myself。　That　little　after…thought　of　tenderness
touched　me。　Acting　on　the　impulse　of　the　moment；　I　put　my　arm
round　his　neck；　and　held　him　to　me　gently。

〃My　darling；〃　I　said；　〃give　me　all　your　confidence。　I　know　that
you　love　me。　Show　that　you　can　trust　me　too。〃

He　sighed　bitterly；　and　drew　back　from　mein　sorrow；　not　in
anger。

〃I　thought　we　had　agreed；　Valeria；　not　to　return　to　that　subject
again；〃　he　said。　〃You　only　distress　yourself　and　distress　me。〃

He　left　the　room　abruptly；　as　if　he　dare　not　trust　himself　to　say
more。　It　is　better　not　to　dwell　on　what　I　felt　after　this　last
repulse。　I　ordered　the　carriage　at　once。　I　was　eager　to　find　a
refuge　from　my　own　thoughts　in　movement　and　change。

I　drove　to　the　shops　first；　and　made　the　purchases　which　I　had
mentioned　to　Eustace　by　way　of　giving　a　reason　for　going　out。
Then　I　devoted　myself　to　the　object　which　I　really　had　at　heart。
I　went　to　old　Benjamin's　little　villa；　in　the　by…ways　of　St。
John's　Wood。

As　soon　as　he　had　got　over　the　first　surprise　of　seeing　me；　he
noticed　that　I　looked　pale　and　care…worn。　I　confessed　at　once
that　I　was　in　trouble。　We　sat　down　together　by　the　bright
fireside　in　his　little　library　（Benjamin；　as　far　as　his　means
would　allow；　was　a　great　collector　of　books）；　and　there　I　told　my
old　friend；　frankly　and　truly；　all　that　I　have　told　here。

He　was　too　distressed　to　say　much。　He　fervently　pressed　my　hand；
he　fervently　thanked　God　that　my　father　had　not　lived　to　hear
what　he　had　heard。　Then；　after　a　pause；　he　repeated　my
mother…in…law's　name　to　himself　in　a　doubting；　questioning　tone。
〃Macallan？〃　he　said。　〃Macallan？　Where　have　I　heard　that　name？　Why
does　it　sound　as　if　it　wasn't　strange　to　me？〃

He　gave　up　pursuing　the　lost　recollection；　and　asked；　very
earnestly；　what　he　could　do　for　me。　I　answered　that　he　could　help
me；　in　the　first　place；　to　put　an　end　to　the　doubtan
unendurable　doubt　to　_me_whether　I　were　lawfully　married　or
not。　His　energy　of　the　old　days　when　he　had　conducted　my　father's
business　showed　itself　again　the　moment　I　said　those　words。

〃Your　carriage　is　at　the　door；　my　dear；〃　he　answered。　〃Come　with
me　to　my　own　lawyer；　without　wasting　another　moment。〃

We　drove　to　Lincoln's　Inn　Fields。

At　my　request　Benjamin　put　my　case　to　the　lawyer　as　the　case　of　a
friend　in　whom　I　was　interested。　The　answer　was　given　without
hesitation。　I　had　married；　honestly　believing　my　husband's　name
to　be　the　name　under　which　I　had　known　him。　The　witnesses　to　my
marriagemy　uncle；　my　aunt；　and　Benjaminhad　acted；　as　I　had
acted；　in　perfect　good　faith。　Under　those　circumstances；　there
was　no　doubt　about　the　law。　I　was　legally　married。　Macallan　or
Woodville；　I　was　his　wife。

This　decisive　answer　relieved　me　of　a　heavy　anxiety。　I　accepted
my　old　friend's　invitation　to　return　with　him　to　St。　John's　Wood；
and　to　make　my　luncheon　at　his　early　dinner。

On　our　way　back　I　reverted　to　the　one　other　subject　which　was　now
uppermost　in　my　mind。　I　reiterated　my　resolution　to　discover　why
Eustace　had
　not　married　me　under　the　name　that　was　really　his　own。

My　companion　shook　his　head；　and　entreated　me　to　consider　well
beforehand　what　I　proposed　doing。　His　advice　to　meso　strangely
do　extremes　meet！was　my　mother…in…law's　advice；　repeated　almost
word　for　word。　〃Leave　things　as　they　are；　my　dear。　In　the
interest　of　your　own　peace　of　mind　be　satisfied　with　your
husband's　affection。　You　know　that　you　are　his　wife；　and　you　know
that　he　loves　you。　Surely　that　is　enough？〃

I　had　but　one　answer　to　this。　Life；　on　such　conditions　as　my　good
friend　had　just　stated；　would　be　simply　unendurable　to　me。
Nothing　could　alter　my　resolutionfor　this　plain　reason；　that
nothing　could　reconcile　me　to　living　with　my　husband　on　the　terms
on　which　we　were　living　now。　It　only　rested　with　Benjamin　to　say
whether　he　would　give　a　helping　hand　to　his　master's　daughter　or
not。

The　old　man's　answer　was　thoroughly　characteristic　of　him。

〃Mention　what　you　want　of　me；　my　dear；〃　was　all　he　said。

We　were　then　passing　a　street　in　the　neighborhood　of　Portman
Square。　I　was　on　the　point　of　speaking　again；　when　the　words　were
suspended　on　my　lips。　I　saw　my　husband。

He　was　just　descending　the　steps　of　a　houseas　if　leaving　it
after　a　visit。　His　eyes　were　on　the　ground：　he　did　not　look　up
when　the…carriage　passed。　As　the　servant　closed　the　door　behind
him；　I　noticed　that　the　number　of　the　house　was　Sixteen。　At　the
next　corner　I　saw　the　name　of　the　street。　It　was　Vivian　Place。

〃Do　you　happen　to　know　who　lives　at　Number　Sixteen　Vivian　Place？〃
I　inquired　of　my　companion。

Benjamin　started。　My　question　was　certainly　a　strange　one；　after
what　he　had　just　said　to　me。

〃No；〃　he　replied。　〃Why　do　you　ask？〃

〃I　have　just　seen　Eustace　leaving　that　house。〃

〃Well；　my　dear；　and　what　of　that？〃

〃My　mind　is　in　a　bad　way；　Benjamin。　Everything　my　husband　does
that　I　don't　understand　rouses　my　suspicion　now。〃

Benjamin　lifted　his　withered　old　hands；　and　let　them　drop　on　his
knees　again　in　mute　lamentation　over　me。

〃I　tell　you　again；〃　I　went　on；　〃my　life　is　unendurable　to　me。　I
won't　answer　for　what　I　may　do　if　I　am　left　much　longer　to　live
in　doubt　of　the　one　man　on　earth　whom　I　love。　You　have　had
experience　of　the　world。　Suppose　you　were　shut　out　from　Eustace's
confidence；　as　I　am？　Suppose　you　were　as　fond　of　him　as　I　am；　and
felt　your　position　as　bitterly　as　I　feel　itwhat　would　you　do？〃

The　question　was　plain。　Benjamin　met　it　with　a　plain　answer。

〃I　think　I　should　find　my　way；　my　dear；　to　some　intimate　friend
of　your　husband's；〃　he　said；　〃and　make　a　few　discreet　inquiries
in　that　quarter　first。〃

Some　intimate　friend　of　my　husband's？　I　considered　with　myself。
There　was　but　one　friend　of　his　whom　I　knew　ofmy　uncle's
correspondent；　Major　Fitz…David。　My　heart　beat　fast　as　the　name
recurred　to　my　memory。　Suppose　I　followed　Benjamin's　advice？
Suppose　I　applied　to　Major　Fitz…David？　Even　if　he；　too；　refused
to　answer　my　questions；　my　position　would　not　be　more　helpless
than　it　was　now。　I　determined　to　make　the　attempt。　The　only
difficulty　in　the　way；　so　far；　was　to　discover　the　Major's
address。　I　had　given　back　his　letter　to　Doctor　Starkweather；　at
my　uncle's　own　request。　I　remembered　that　the　address　from　which
the　Major　wrote　was　somewhere　in　Londonand　I　remembered　no
more。

〃Thank　you；　old　friend；　you　have　given　me　an　idea　already；〃　I
said　to　Benjamin。　〃Have　you　got　a　Directory　in　your　house？〃

〃No；　my　dear；〃　he　rejoined；　looking　very　much　puzzled。　〃But　I　can
easily　send　out　and　borrow　one。〃

We　returned　to　the　villa。　The　servant　was　sent　at　once　to　the
nearest　stationer's　to　borrow　a　Directory。　She　returned　with　the
book　just　as　we　sat　down　to　dinner。　Searching　for　the　Major's
name　under　the　letter　F；　I　was　startled　by　a　new　discovery。

〃Benjamin！〃　I　said。　〃This　is　a　strange　coincidence。　Look　here！〃

He　looked　where　I　pointed。　Major　Fitz…David's　address　was　Num