lavengro-第116章

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but　we　watched　the　poor　thing；　and　got　her　on　board　ship。　　Oh；　glad　

was　I　to　leave　that　fetish　country　and　old　Mumbo　behind　me！







CHAPTER　C







Nothing　but　gloom　…　Sporting　character　…　Gouty　Tory　…　Servants'　

Club　…　Politics　…　Reformado　footman　…　Peroration　…　Good…night。



'WE　arrived　in　England；　and　went　to　our　country　seat；　but　the　peace　

and　tranquillity　of　the　family　had　been　marred；　and　I　no　longer　

found　my　place　the　pleasant　one　which　it　had　formerly　been；　there　

was　nothing　but　gloom　in　the　house；　for　the　youngest　daughter　

exhibited　signs　of　lunacy；　and　was　obliged　to　be　kept　under　

confinement。　　The　next　season　I　attended　my　master；　his　son；　and　

eldest　daughter　to　London；　as　I　had　previously　done。　　There　I　left　

them；　for　hearing　that　a　young　baronet；　an　acquaintance　of　the　

family；　wanted　a　servant；　I　applied　for　the　place；　with　the　consent　

of　my　masters；　both　of　whom　gave　me　a　strong　recommendation；　and；　

being　approved　of；　I　went　to　live　with　him。



'My　new　master　was　what　is　called　a　sporting　character；　very　fond　

of　the　turf；　upon　which　he　was　not　very　fortunate。　　He　was　

frequently　very　much　in　want　of　money；　and　my　wages　were　anything　

but　regularly　paid；　nevertheless；　I　liked　him　very　much；　for　he　

treated　me　more　like　a　friend　than　a　domestic；　continually　

consulting　me　as　to　his　affairs。　　At　length　he　was　brought　nearly　

to　his　last　shifts；　by　backing　the　favourite　at　the　Derby；　which　

favourite　turned　out　a　regular　brute；　being　found　nowhere　at　the　

rush。　　Whereupon；　he　and　I　had　a　solemn　consultation　over　fourteen　

glasses　of　brandy　and　water；　and　as　many　cigars　…　I　mean；　between　

us　…　as　to　what　was　to　be　done。　　He　wished　to　start　a　coach；　in　

which　event　he　was　to　be　driver；　and　I　guard。　　He　was　quite　

competent　to　drive　a　coach；　being　a　first…rate　whip；　and　I　daresay　

I　should　have　made　a　first…rate　guard；　but；　to　start　a　coach　

requires　money；　and　we　neither　of　us　believed　that　anybody　would　

trust　us　with　vehicles　and　horses；　so　that　idea　was　laid　aside。　　We　

then　debated　as　to　whether　or　not　he　should　go　into　the　Church；　but　

to　go　into　the　Church　…　at　any　rate　to　become　a　dean　or　bishop；　

which　would　have　been　our　aim　…　it　is　necessary　for　a　man　to　

possess　some　education；　and　my　master；　although　he　had　been　at　the　

best　school　in　England；　that　is；　the　most　expensive；　and　also　at　

College；　was　almost　totally　illiterate；　so　we　let　the　Church　scheme　

follow　that　of　the　coach。　　At　last；　bethinking　me　that　he　was　

tolerably　glib　at　the　tongue；　as　most　people　are　who　are　addicted　

to　the　turf；　also　a　great　master　of　slang；　remembering　also　that　he　

had　a　crabbed　old　uncle；　who　had　some　borough　interest；　I　proposed　

that　he　should　get　into　the　House；　promising　in　one　fortnight　to　

qualify　him　to　make　a　figure　in　it；　by　certain　lessons　which　I　

would　give　him。　　He　consented；　and　during　the　next　fortnight　I　did　

little　else　than　give　him　lessons　in　elocution；　following　to　a　

tittle　the　method　of　the　great　professor；　which　I　had　picked　up；　

listening　behind　the　door。　　At　the　end　of　that　period　we　paid　a　

visit　to　his　relation；　an　old　gouty　Tory；　who　at　first　received　us　

very　coolly。　　My　master；　however；　by　flattering　a　predilection　of　

his　for　Billy　Pitt；　soon　won　his　affections　so　much　that　he　

promised　to　bring　him　into　Parliament；　and　in　less　than　a　month　was　

as　good　as　his　word。　　My　master；　partly　by　his　own　qualifications；　

and　partly　by　the　assistance　which　he　had　derived；　and　still　

occasionally　derived；　from　me；　cut　a　wonderful　figure　in　the　House；　

and　was　speedily　considered　one　of　the　most　promising　speakers；　he　

was　always　a　good　hand　at　promising　…　he　is　at　present；　I　believe；　

a　Cabinet　minister。



'But　as　he　got　up　in　the　world　he　began　to　look　down　on　me。　　I　

believe　he　was　ashamed　of　the　obligation　under　which　he　lay　to　me；　

and　at　last；　requiring　no　further　hints　as　to　oratory　from　a　poor　

servant　like　me；　he　took　an　opportunity　of　quarrelling　with　me　and　

discharging　me。　　However；　as　he　had　still　some　grace；　he　

recommended　me　to　a　gentleman　with　whom；　since　he　had　attached　

himself　to　politics；　he　had　formed　an　acquaintance；　the　editor　of　a　

grand　Tory　Review。　　I　lost　caste　terribly　amongst　the　servants　for　

entering　the　service　of　a　person　connected　with　a　profession　so　

mean　as　literature；　and　it　was　proposed　at　the　Servants'　Club；　in　

Park　Lane；　to　eject　me　from　that　society。　　The　proposition；　

however；　was　not　carried　into　effect；　and　I　was　permitted　to　show　

myself　among　them；　though　few　condescended　to　take　much　notice　of　

me。　　My　master　was　one　of　the　best　men　in　the　world；　but　also　one　

of　the　most　sensitive。　　On　his　veracity　being　impugned　by　the　

editor　of　a　newspaper；　he　called　him　out；　and　shot　him　through　the　

arm。　　Though　servants　are　seldom　admirers　of　their　masters；　I　was　a　

great　admirer　of　mine；　and　eager　to　follow　his　example。　　The　day　

after　the　encounter；　on　my　veracity　being　impugned　by　the　servant　

of　Lord　C…　in　something　I　said　in　praise　of　my　master；　I　determined　

to　call　him　out；　so　I　went　into　another　room　and　wrote　a　challenge。　　

But　whom　should　I　send　it　by？　　Several　servants　to　whom　I　applied　

refused　to　be　the　bearers　of　it；　they　said　I　had　lost　caste；　and　

they　could　not　think　of　going　out　with　me。　　At　length　the　servant　

of　the　Duke　of　B…　consented　to　take　it；　but　he　made　me　to　

understand　that；　though　he　went　out　with　me；　he　did　so　merely　

because　he　despised　the　Whiggish　principles　of　Lord　C…'s　servant；　

and　that　if　I　thought　he　intended　to　associate　with　me　I　should　be　

mistaken。　　Politics；　I　must　tell　you；　at　that　time　ran　as　high　

amongst　the　servants　as　the　gentlemen；　the　servants；　however；　being　

almost　invariably　opposed　to　the　politics　of　their　respective　

masters；　though　both　parties　agreed　in　one　point；　the　scouting　of　

everything　low　and　literary；　though　I　think；　of　the　two；　the　

liberal　or　reform　party　were　the　most　inveterate。　　So　he　took　my　

challenge；　which　was　accepted；　we　went　out；　Lord　C…'s　servant　being　

seconded　by　a　reformado　footman　from　the　palace。　　We　fired　three　

times　without　effect；　but　this　affair　lost　me　my　place；　my　master　

on　hearing　it　forthwith　discharged　me；　he　was；　as　I　have　said　

before；　very　sensitive；　and　he　said　this　duel　of　mine　was　a　parody　

of　his　own。　　Being；　however；　one　of　the　best　men　in　the　world；　on　

his　discharging　me　he　made　me　a　donation　of　twenty　pounds。



'And　it　was　well　that　he　made　me　this　present；　for　without　it　I　

should　have　been　penniless；　having　contracted　rather　expensive　

habits　during　the　time　that　I　lived　with　the　young　baronet。　　I　now　

determined　to　visit　my　parents；　whom　I　had　not　seen　for　years。　　I　

found　them　in　good　health；　and；　after　staying　with　them　for　two　

months；　I　returned　again　in　the　direction　of　town；　walking；　in　

order　to　see　the　country。　　On　the　second　day　of　my　journey；　not　

being　used　to　such　fatigue；　I　fell　ill　at　a　great　inn　on　the　north　

road；　and　there　I　continued　for　some　weeks　till　I　recovered；　but　by　

that　time　my　money　was　entirely　spent。　　By　living　at　the　inn　I　had　

contracted　an　acquaintance　with　the　master　and　the　people；　and　

become　accustomed　to　inn　life。　　As　I　thought　that　I　might　find　some　

difficulty　in　procuring　any　desirable　situation　in　London；　owing　to　

my　late　connection　with　literature；　I　determined　to　remain　where　I　

was；　provided　my　services　would　be　accepted。　　I　offered　them　to　the　

master；　who；　finding　I　knew　something　of　horses；　engaged　me　as　a　

postilion。　　I　have　remained　there　since。　　You　have　now　heard　my　

story。



'Stay；　you　shan't　say　that　I　told　my　tale　without　a　per　…　

peroration。　　What　shall　it　be？　　Oh；　I　remember　something　which　will　

serve　for　one。　　As　I　was　driving　my　chaise　some　weeks　ago；　I　saw　

standing　at　the　gate　of　an　avenue；　which　led　up　to　an　old　mansion；　

a　figure　which　I　thought　I　recognised。　　I　looked　at　it　attentively；　

and　the　figure；　as　I　passed；　looked　at　me；　whether　it　remembered　me　

I　do　not　know；　but　I　recognised　the　face　it　showed　me　full　well。



'If　it　was　not　the　identical　face　of　the　red…haired　priest　whom　I　

had　seen　at　Rome；　may　I　catch　cold！



'Young　gentleman；　I　will　now　take　a　spell　on　your　blanket　…　young　

lady；　good…night。'










End