the moscow census-第14章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


he　will　not　give　a　pedestrian　a　lift；　and　there　is　both　room　for　this
and　a　possibility　of　doing　it。　　But　the　richer　the　equipage；　the
farther　is　a　man　from　all　possibility　of　giving　a　seat　to　any　person
whatsoever。　　It　is　even　said　plainly；　that　the　most　stylish　equipages
are　those　meant　to　hold　only　one　person。

It　is　precisely　the　same　thing　with　the　manner　of　life　which　is
expressed　by　the　word　cleanliness。

Cleanliness！　　Who　is　there　that　does　not　know　people；　especially
women；　who　reckon　this　cleanliness　in　themselves　as　a　great　virtue？
and　who　is　not　acquainted　with　the　devices　of　this　cleanliness；　which
know　no　bounds；　when　it　can　command　the　labor　of　others？　　Which　of
the　people　who　have　become　rich　has　not　experienced　in　his　own　case；
with　what　difficulty　he　carefully　trained　himself　to　this
cleanliness；　which　only　confirms　the　proverb；　〃Little　white　hands
love　other　people's　work〃？

To…day　cleanliness　consists　in　changing　your　shirt　once　a　day；　to…
morrow；　in　changing　it　twice　a　day。　　To…day　it　means　washing　the
face；　and　neck；　and　hands　daily；　to…morrow；　the　feet；　and　day　after
to…morrow；　washing　the　whole　body　every　day；　and；　in　addition　and　in
particular；　a　rubbing…down。　　To…day　the　table…cloth　is　to　serve　for
two　days；　to…morrow　there　must　be　one　each　day；　then　two　a　day。　　To…
day　the　footman's　hands　must　be　clean；　to…morrow　he　must　wear　gloves；
and　in　his　clean　gloves　he　must　present　a　letter　on　a　clean　salver。
And　there　are　no　limits　to　this　cleanliness；　which　is　useless　to
everybody；　and　objectless；　except　for　the　purpose　of　separating
oneself　from　others；　and　of　rendering　impossible　all　intercourse　with
them；　when　this　cleanliness　is　attained　by　the　labors　of　others。

Moreover；　when　I　studied　the　subject；　I　because　convinced　that　even
that　which　is　commonly　called　education　is　the　very　same　thing。

The　tongue　does　not　deceive；　it　calls　by　its　real　name　that　which　men
understand　under　this　name。　　What　the　people　call　culture　is
fashionable　clothing；　political　conversation；　clean　hands；a　certain
sort　of　cleanliness。　　Of　such　a　man；　it　is　said；　in　contradistinction
to　others；　that　he　is　an　educated　man。　　In　a　little　higher　circle；
what　they　call　education　means　the　same　thing　as　with　the　people；
only　to　the　conditions　of　education　are　added　playing　on　the
pianoforte；　a　knowledge　of　French；　the　writing　of　Russian　without
orthographical　errors；　and　a　still　greater　degree　of　external
cleanliness。　　In　a　still　more　elevated　sphere；　education　means　all
this　with　the　addition　of　the　English　language；　and　a　diploma　from
the　highest　educational　institution。　　But　education　is　precisely　the
same　thing　in　the　first；　the　second；　and　the　third　case。　　Education
consists　of　those　forms　and　acquirements　which　are　calculated　to
separate　a　man　from　his　fellows。　　And　its　object　is　identical　with
that　of　cleanliness；to　seclude　us　from　the　herd　of　poor；　in　order
that　they；　the　poor；　may　not　see　how　we　feast。　　But　it　is　impossible
to　hide　ourselves；　and　they　do　see　us。

And　accordingly　I　have　become　convinced　that　the　cause　of　the
inability　of　us　rich　people　to　help　the　poor　of　the　city　lies　in　the
impossibility　of　our　establishing　intercourse　with　them；　and　that
this　impossibility　of　intercourse　is　caused　by　ourselves；　by　the
whole　course　of　our　lives；　by　all　the　uses　which　we　make　of　our
wealth。　　I　have　become　convinced　that　between　us；　the　rich　and　the
poor；　there　rises　a　wall；　reared　by　ourselves　out　of　that　very
cleanliness　and　education；　and　constructed　of　our　wealth；　and　that　in
order　to　be　in　a　condition　to　help　the　poor；　we　must　needs；　first　of
all；　destroy　this　wall；　and　that　in　order　to　do　this；　confrontation
after　Siutaeff's　method　should　be　rendered　possible；　and　the　poor
distributed　among　us。　　And　from　another　starting…point　also　I　came　to
the　same　conclusion　to　which　the　current　of　my　discussions　as　to　the
causes　of　the　poverty　in　towns　had　led　me：　　the　cause　was　our
wealth。＇　｛14｝



CHAPTER　XV。



I　began　to　examine　the　matter　from　a　third　and　wholly　personal　point
of　view。　　Among　the　phenomena　which　particularly　impressed　me；　during
the　period　of　my　charitable　activity；　there　was　yet　another；　and　a
very　strange　one；　for　which　I　could　for　a　long　time　find　no
explanation。　　It　was　this：　　every　time　that　I　chanced；　either　on　the
street　on　in　the　house；　to　give　some　small　coin　to　a　poor　man；
without　saying　any　thing　to　him；　I　saw；　or　thought　that　I　saw；
contentment　and　gratitude　on　the　countenance　of　the　poor　man；　and　I
myself　experienced　in　this　form　of　benevolence　an　agreeable
sensation。　　I　saw　that　I　had　done　what　the　man　wished　and　expected
from　me。　　But　if　I　stopped　the　poor　man；　and　sympathetically
questioned　him　about　his　former　and　his　present　life；　I　felt　that　it
was　no　longer　possible　to　give　three　or　twenty　kopeks；　and　I　began　to
fumble　in　my　purse　for　money；　in　doubt　as　to　how　much　I　ought　to
give；　and　I　always　gave　more；　and　I　always　noticed　that　the　poor　man
left　me　dissatisfied。　　But　if　I　entered　into　still　closer　intercourse
with　the　poor　man；　then　my　doubts　as　to　how　much　to　give　increased
also；　and；　no　matter　how　much　I　gave；　the　poor　man　grew　ever　more
sullen　and　discontented。　　As　a　general　rule；　it　always　turned　out
thus；　that　if　I　gave；　after　conversation　with　a　poor　man；　three
rubles　or　even　more；　I　almost　always　beheld　gloom；　displeasure；　and
even　ill…will；　on　the　countenance　of　the　poor　man；　and　I　have　even
known　it　to　happen；　that；　having　received　ten　rubles；　he　went　off
without　so　much　as　saying　〃Thank　you；〃　exactly　as　though　I　had
insulted　him。

And　thereupon　I　felt　awkward　and　ashamed；　and　almost　guilty。　　But　if
I　followed　up　a　poor　man　for　weeks　and　months　and　years；　and　assisted
him；　and　explained　my　views　to　him；　and　associated　with　him；　our
relations　became　a　torment；　and　I　perceived　that　the　man　despised　me。
And　I　felt　that　he　was　in　the　right。

If　I　go　out　into　the　street；　and　he；　standing　in　that　street；　begs　of
me　among　the　number　of　the　other　passers…by；　people　who　walk　and　ride
past　him；　and　I　give　him　money；　I　then　am　to　him　a　passer…by；　and　a
good；　kind　passer…by；　who　bestows　on　him　that　thread　from　which　a
shirt　is　made　for　the　naked　man；　he　expects　nothing　more　than　the
thread；　and　if　I　give　it　he　thanks　me　sincerely。　　But　if　I　stop　him；
and　talk　with　him　as　man　with　man；　I　thereby　show　him　that　I　desire
to　be　something　more　than　a　mere　passer…by。　　If；　as　often　happens；　he
weeps　while　relating　to　me　his　woes；　then　he　sees　in　me　no　longer　a
passer…by；　but　that　which　I　desire　that　he　should　see：　　a　good　man。
But　if　I　am　a　good　man；　my　goodness　cannot　pause　at　a　twenty…kopek
piece；　nor　at　ten　rubles；　nor　at　ten　thousand；　it　is　impossible　to　be
a　little　bit　of　a　good　man。　　Let　us　suppose　that　I　have　given　him　a
great　deal；　that　I　have　fitted　him　out；　dressed　him；　set　him　on　his
feet　so　that　the　can　live　without　outside　assistance；　but　for　some
reason　or　other；　though　misfortune　or　his　own　weakness　or　vices；　he
is　again　without　that　coat；　that　linen；　and　that　money　which　I　have
given　him；　he　is　again　cold　and　hungry；　and　he　has　come　again　to　me；…
…how　can　I　refuse　him？　　＇For　if　the　cause　of　my　action　consisted　in
the　attainment　of　a　definite；　material　end；　on　giving　him　so　many
rubles　or　such　and　such　a　coat　I　might　be　at　ease　after　having
bestowed　them。　　But　the　cause　of　my　action　is　not　this：　　the　cause
is；　that　I　want　to　be　a　good　man；　that　is　to　say；　I　want　to　see
myself　in　every　other　man。　　Every　man　understands　goodness　thus；　and
in　no　other　manner。＇　｛15｝　　And　therefore；　if　he　should　drink　away
every　thing　that　you　had　given　him　twenty　times；　and　if　he　should
again　be　cold　and　hungry；　you　cannot　do　otherwise　than　give　him　more；
if　you　are　a　good　man；　you　can　never　cease　giving　to　him；　if　you　have
more　than　he　has。　　And　if　you　draw　back；　you　will　thereby　show　that
every　thing　that　you　have　done；　you　have　done　not　because　you　are　a
good　man；　but　because　you　wished　to　appear　a　good　man　in　his　sight；
and　in　the　sight　of　men。

And　thus　in　the　case　with　the　men　from　whom　I　chanced　to　recede；　to
whom　I　ceased　to　give；　and；　by　this　action；　denied　good；　I
experienced　a　torturing　sense　of　shame。

What　sort　of　shame　was　this？　　This　shame　I　had　experienced　in　the
Lyapinsky　house；　and　both　before　and　after　that　in　the　country；　when
I　happened　to　give　money　or　any　thing　else　to　the　poor；　and　in　my
expeditions　among　the　city　poor。

A　mortifying　incident　that　occurred　to　me　not　long　ago　vividly
reminded　me　of　that　shame；　and　led　me　to　an　explanation　of　that　shame
which　I　had　felt　when　bestowing　money　on　the　poor。

＇This　happened　in　the　country。　　I　wanted　twenty　kopeks　to　give　to　a
poor　pilgrim；　I　sent　my　son　to　borrow　them　from　some　one；　he　brought
the　pilgrim　a　twenty…kopek　piece；　and　told　me　that　he　had　borrowed　it
from　the　cook。　　A　few　days　afterwards　some　more　pilgrims　arrived；　and
again　I　was　in　want　of　a　twenty…kopek　piece。　　I　had　a　ruble；　I
recollected　that　I　was　in　debt　to　the　cook；　and　I　went　to　the
kitchen；　hoping　to　get　some　more　small　change　from　the　cook。　　I　said：
〃I　borrowed　a　twenty…kopek　piece　from　you；　so　here　is　a　ruble。〃　　I
had　not　finished　speaking；　when　the　cook　called　in　his　wife　from
another　room：　　〃Take　it；　Parasha；〃　said　he。　　I；　supposing　that　she
understood　what　I　wanted；　handed　her　the　ruble。　　I　must　state　that
the　cook　had　only　lived　with　me　a　week；　and；　though　I　had　seen　his
wife；　I　had　never　spoken　to　her。　　I　was　just　on　the　point　of　saying
to　her　that　she　was　to　give　me　some　small　coins；　when　she　bent
swiftly　down　to　my　hand；　and　tried　to　kiss　it；　evidently　imaging　that
I　had　given　her　the　ruble。　　I　muttered　something；　and　quitted　the
kitchen。　　I　was　ashamed；　ashamed　to　the　verge　of　torture；　as　I　had
not　been　for　a　long　time。　　I　shrank　together；　I　was　conscious　that　I
was　making　grimaces；　and　I　groaned　with　shame　as　I　fled　from　the
kitchen。　　This　utterly　unexpected；　and；　as　it　seemed　to　me；　utterly
undeserved　shame；　made　a　special　impression　on　me；　because　it　was　a
long　time　since　I　had　been　mortified；　and　because　I；　as　an　old　man；
had　so　lived；　it　seemed　to　me；　that　I　had　not　merited　this　shame。　　I
was　forcibly　struck　by　this。　　I　told　the　members　of　my　household
about　it；　I　told　my　acquaintances；　and　they　all　agreed　that　they
should　have　felt　the　same。　　And　I　began　to　reflect：　　why　had　this
caused　me　such　shame？　　To　this；　something　which　had　happened　to　me　in
Moscow　furnished　me　with　an　answer。

I　meditated　on　that　incident；　and　the　shame　which　I　had　experienced
in　the　presence　of　the　cook's　wife　was　explained　to　me；　and　all　those
sensations　of　mortification　which　I　had　undergone　during　the　course
of　my　Moscow　benevolence；　and　which　I　now　feel　incessantly　when　I
have　occasion　to　give　any　one　any　thing　except　that　petty　alms　to　the
poor　and　to　pilgrims；　which　I　have　become　accustomed　to　bestow；　and
which　I　consider　a　deed　not　of　charity　but　of　courtesy。　　If　a　man
asks　you　for　a　light；　you　must　strike　a　match　for　him；　if　you　have
one。　　If　a　man　asks　for　three　or　for　twenty　kopeks；　or　even　for
several　rubles；　you　must　give　them　if　you　have　them。　　This　is　an　act
of　courtesy　and　not　of　charity。＇　｛16｝