苔斯-第5章

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She　had　not　thought　of　that，　but　remembered　the　story　of　Adam　and　Eve　in　the　Bible．Because　they　did　wrong　together，　God　said　they　would　live　in　sorrow　for　the　rest　of　their　lives．

She　said　firmly，‘SORROW，I　baptize　you　in　the　name　of　the　Father，and　of　the　Son，and　of　the　Holy　Ghost．’

She　splashed　some　water　on　the　child，and　there　was　silence．

‘Say　Amen，children．’

‘Amen，’they　replied．

Tess　put　her　hand　into　the　water，and　drew　a　huge　cross　upon　the　baby　with　her　finger．　She　continued　the　service　in　the　well－known　words，　asking　for　the　baby　to　be　protected　against　the　world　and　against　wickedness．　Her　belief　gave　her　hope；her　sweet　warm　voice　rang　out　the　thanks　that　follow　the　baptism．The　single　candle　was　reflected　in　her　shining　eyes　like　a　diamond．The　children　asked　no　more　questions，but　looked　up　at　her　in　amazement．She　seemed　almost　like　a　god　to　them．

Poor　Sorrow's　fight　against　the　world　and　wickedness　was　a　short　one，　fortunately　perhaps，taking　into　account　his　situation．　In　the　blue　light　of　the　morning　he　breathed　his　last．　Tess　had　been　calm　since　the　baptism　and　she　remained　calm．　She　was　no　longer　worried　about　Sorrow's　afterlife．If　God　did　not　accept　the　baptism，she　did　not　value　His　Heaven，either　for　herself　or　for　her　child．

Tess　thought　a　good　deal　about　the　baptism，　however，　and　wondered　if　it　might　mean　that　Sorrow　could　be　buried　in　the　churchyard，with　a　church　service．　She　went　to　the　parson's　house　after　dark，　and　met　him　near　his　gate．

‘I　should　like　to　ask　you　something，sir．My　baby　was　very　ill，and　I　wanted　you　to　baptize　him，　but　my　father　refused　to　allow　it．So　I　baptized　him　myself．Now　sir，　can　you　tell　me　this，’and　she　looked　him　straight　in　the　eyes，‘　will　it　be　just　the　same　for　him　as　if　you　had　baptized　him？’

The　parson　wanted　to　say　no．　She　had　done　what　should　have　been　his　job．But　the　girl's　strong　feeling　impressed　him．　The　man　and　the　parson　fought　inside　him，　and　the　man　won．

‘My　dear　girl，’he　said，‘it　will　be　just　the　same．’

‘Then　will　you　bury　him　in　the　churchyard？’　she　asked　quickly．

The　parson　felt　trapped．　It　was　a　difficult　question　to　answer．‘Ah，that's　a　different　matter，’he　said．‘1'm　sorry，I　cannot．’

‘Oh　sir！’She　took　his　hand　as　she　spoke．

He　took　it　away，shaking　his　head．

‘Then　I'll　never　come　to　church　again！’she　cried．‘But　perhaps　it　will　be　the　same　for　him？　Tell　me，　have　pity　on　me，　poor　me，tell　me　what　you　really　think！’

The　parson　was　deeply　touched　by　her　emotion．　For　a　surprising　moment　he　forgot　the　strict　rules　of　his　church．

‘It　will　be　just　the　same，’he　answered　kindly．

So　the　baby　was　carried　in　a　cheap　wooden　box　to　the　churchyard　at　nignt．There　is　a　corner　of　the　churchyard　where　the　grass　grows　long，and　where　the　suicides，drunks，　unbaptized　babies　and　other　supposed　criminals　are　laid．　Sorrow　was　buried　here，at　the　cost　of　a　shilling　and　a　pint　of　beer　for　the　gravedigger．Tess　bravely　made　a　little　cross　and　put　it　at　the　head　of　the　grave　one　evening，when　she　could　enter　the　churchyard　without　being　seen．

It　is　all　very　well　saying　that　we　learn　from　experience．　Tess　had　certainly　learnt　from　experience，but　could　not　see　how　to　use　her　knowledge，so　painfully　gained．

So　she　stayed　in　her　parents’　home　during　the　winter，　helping　to　look　after　the　children，　making　clothes　for　them　and　earning　a　little　money　whenever　she　could．Important　dates　came　round　again：the　night　of　her　shame　in　The　Chase，the　baby's　birth　and　death，　her　own　birthday．　One　day　when　she　was　looking　at　her　pretty　face　in　the　mirror，she　thought　of　another　date，even　more　important—her　own　death．　When　it　came　it　would　swallow　up　all　her　prettiness　and　everything　that　had　happened　to　her．When　was　it？It　was　a　day　lying　hidden　among　all　the　other　days　of　the　year，　so　that　she　noticed　nothing　when　it　came　round，and　did　not　know　what　week，　month，season　or　year　it　would　be．

In　a　flash　Tess　changed　from　simple　girl　to　complicated　woman．Her　face　was　often　thoughtful，and　there　was　sometimes　a　tragic　note　in　her　voice．Her　eyes　grew　larger　and　more　expressive．She　became　a　beautiful　woman．　She　had　suffered，but　had　gained　a　certain　self－confidence　from　her　experiences．

Although　the　village　people　had　almost　forgotten　her　trouble，　she　decided　she　could　never　be　really　happy　in　Marlott．Trying　to　claim　relationship　with　the　rich　d’Urbervilles　seemed　so　foolish　and　shameful　to　her．　She　thought　her　family　would　never　be　respected　there　again．　Even　now　she　felt　hope　rise　within　her，hope　of　finding　a　place　with　no　family　connections　and　no　memories．In　escaping　from　Marlott　she　intended　to　destroy　the　past．Perhaps　now　she　could　make　up　for　her　crime　against　society．

Consequently　she　looked　hard　for　work　away　from　Marlott．　She　finally　heard　that　a　dairyman　some　miles　to　the　south　needed　a　good　milkmaid　for　the　summer．Having　decided　to　go　there，she　promised　herself　there　would　be　no　more　hopeless　dreams．She　would　simply　be　the　dairymaid　Tess，　and　nothing　more．Even　her　mother　no　longer　talked　about　their　connection　with　the　noble　d’Urbervilles．

But　in　spite　of　Tess's　decision　to　forget　her　ancestors，　the　dairy，　called　Talbothays，especially　attracted　her　because　it　was　near　the　former　lands　of　the　old　d’Urberville　family．　She　would　be　able　to　look　at　them，　and　not　only　observe　that　the　noble　d’Urberville　family　had　lost　its　greatness，but　also　remember　that　a　poor　descendant　had　lost　her　innocence．She　wondered　if　some　good　might　come　of　being　in　the　land　of　her　ancestors．Hope　and　youthful　energy　rose　up　in　her　again，like　leaves　on　a　young　tree　in　spring．

　　



　



A　New　Life

　　

8

　　

And　so　it　was　that　on　a　beautiful　morning　in　May，two　to　three　years　after　her　return　from　Trantridge，Tess　Durbeyfield　left　home　for　the　second　time．She　was　going　in　the　opposite　direction　this　time．When　she　reached　the　first　hill，she　looked　back　at　Marlott　and　her　father's　house　with　sadness　in　her　heart．

She　travelled　partly　by　carriage　and　partly　on　foot，carrying　her　basket．Not　far　to　her　left　she　could　see　the　trees　which　surrounded　Kingsbere，with　its　church　where　her　ancestors　lay　in　their　tombs．She　could　no　longer　admire　or　respect　them．　She　almost　hated　them　for　ruining　her　life．Nothing　of　theirs　was　left　except　the　old　seal　and　spoon．

‘Huh！I　have　as　much　of　mother　as　father　in　me！’she　said．

‘All　my　prettiness　comes　from　her，and　she　was　only　a　dairymaid．’

Her　walk　took　two　hours，until　she　reached　the　hill　overlooking　the　Valley　of　the　Great　Dairies．　This　valley　was　watered　by　the　river　Froom，and　produced　huge　amounts　of　milk　and　butter，more　even　than　Tess's　Vale　of　Blackmoor，　which　was　known　as　the　Vale　of　Little　Dairies．

As　she　stood　and　looked，she　realized　the　valleys　were　quite　different．Here　the　fields　and　farms　were　much　larger．　She　saw　more　cows　at　a　glance　than　she　had　ever　seen　before．The　evening　sun　shone　on　their　red，white　and　brown　bodies．She　thought　that　this　view　was　perhaps　not　as　beautiful　as　a　view　of　Blackmoor　Vale，which　she　knew　so　well．There　the　sky　was　deep　blue，the　smell　of　the　earth　was　heavy　in　the　air，the　streams　ran　slowly　and　silently．But　this　view　was　more　cheerful．　Here　the　air　was　clear　and　light，　and　the　river　Froom　rushed　as　fast　as　the　shadow　of　a　cloud．

Either　the　change　in　the　quality　of　the　air，or　the　feeling　that　she　was　going　to　start　a　new　life　here，　made　her　feel　much　happier．She　ran　along，　her　hopes　and　the　sunshine　warming　her．

She　looked　at　her　best　as　she　ran　laughing　into　the　warm　wind．The　desire　for　pleasure，　which　is　in　every　living　thing，　had　finally　won　over　Tess．　She　was，after　all，only　a　young　woman　of　twenty，　who　had　not　finished　growing　up．　No　event，however　unpleasant，could　have　marked　her　for　ever．　She　was　young　and　strong　and　beautiful，　and　could　not　remain　sad　for　long．

Her　hopes　rose　higher　than　ever．　She　wanted　to　show　how　grateful　she　was　for　this　second　chance．She　started　singing　love　songs，but　found　they　were　not　enough　to　express　her　feelings．She　remembered　the　Sunday　mornings　of　her　girlhood，and　sang：‘Oh　sun　and　moon…　Oh　stars…　Oh　children　of　men…　Praise　the　Lord！　Praise　Him　for　ever！’　until　she　stopped　suddenly　and　murmured，　‘But　perhaps　I　don't　quite　know　the　Lord　yet．’

This　was　probably　a　pagan　feeling　in　a　religious　form．　People　who　live　in　the　country　and　are　close　to　nature，　like　Tess，keep　many　of　the　pagan　ideas　of　their　ancestors　in　their　souls．Religion　learned　in　church　comes　much　later，　and　does　not　touch　them　deeply．

Tess　was　happy　to　be　making　her　way　independently　in　life．　She　really　wanted　to　live　honestly　and　work　hard，unlike　her　father．Tess　had　her　mother's　energy　and　the　energy　of　her　youth　to　help　her　recover　from　her　experience．　Women　do　usually　live　through　such　experiences．‘Where　there's　life　there's　hope’　is　still　true　for　most‘betrayed’women．

As　Tess，full　of　enthusiasm，came　downhill　towards　the　dairy，she　suddenly　heard　the　milking　call，again　and　again，　from　all　parts　of　the　valley．It　was　half－past　four，　when　the　dairy　people　brought　in　the　cows．　Tess　followed　the　red　and　white　animals，with　their　great　bags　of　milk　under　them，into　the　farmyard．　She　saw　the　long　sheds，　and　the　wooden　posts，　shining　and　smooth　where　the　cows　had　rubbed　against　them　over　the　years．　She　saw　the　cows　between　the　posts，the　sun　throwing　their　shadows　on　the　wall　as　carefully　as　a　painter　paints　a　beautiful　king　or　queen．As　the　cows　waited　for　their　turn，the　milk　fell　in　drops　on　the　ground．

The　dairymaids　and　men　had　come　from　their　cottages　as　they　saw　the　cows　arriving　from　the　fields．　Each　girl　sat　on　her　three－legged　stool　as　she　milked，her　right　cheek　resting　on　the　cow's　body，watching　Tess　arrive．The　men　milked　with　their　hats　low　over　their　eyes　and　did　not　see　her．One　of　them　was　a　middle－aged　man，the　head－dairyman　she　was　looking　for．He　worked　six　days　a　week　in　his　white　milking　clothes，　milking　and　butter－making，　and　on　the　seventh　he　wore　his　best　suit　to　take　his　family　proudly　to　church．　Because　of　this　people　nearby　used　to　say：

Dairyman　Dick

All　the　week，

On　Sundays　Mister　Richard　Crick．

Most　dairymen　are　usually　bad－tempered　at　milking　time，　but　Mr　Crick　was　glad　to　get　a　new　dairymaid　at　this　busy　time　of　the　year．So　he　received　Tess　warmly　and　asked　her　how　her　family　were．

‘When　I　was　a　boy　I　knew　your　part　of　the　country　very　well，’be　said．‘An　old　woman　of　ninety—she's　dead　now　but　she　used　to　live　near　here—she　once　told　me　there　was　an　ancient　noble　family　of　a　name　like　yours，who　came　from　here　originally．But　I　didn't　take　any　notice　of　an　old　woman　like　that．’

‘Oh　no，　that's　just　a　story，’said　Tess．

Then　Mr　Crick　turned　to　business．‘You　can　milk　well，my　girl？I　don't　want　my　cows　drying　up，especially　just　now．’

‘Oh　yes，I　can，’answered　Tess．

He　looked　at　her　delicate　hands　and　pale　face．

‘Quite　sure　you're　strong　enough　for　this　sort　of　life？　It's　comfortable　enough　here　for　rough　count