a mortal antipathy-第44章

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which　we　had　the　pleasure　of　beating　got　some　glimpses　of　Georgina；

our　handsome　stroke　oar。　　I　believe　he　took　it　into　his　head　that　it

was　she　who　threw　the　bouquet　that　won　the　race　for　us。　　He　was；　as

you　know；　greatly　mistaken；　and　ought　to　have　made　love　to　me；　only

he　did　n't。　　Well；　it　seems　he　came　posting　down　to　the　Institute

just　before　the　vacation　was　over；　and　there　got　a　sight　of　Georgina。

I　wonder　whether　she　told　him　she　didn't　fling　the　bouquet！　　Anyhow；

the　acquaintance　began　in　that　way；　and　now　it　seems　that　this　young

fellow；　good…looking　and　a　bright　scholar；　but　with　a　good　many

months　more　to　pass　in　college；　is　her　captive。　　It　was　too　bad。

Just　think　of　my　bouquet's　going　to　another　girl's　credit！　　No

matter；　the　old　Atalanta　story　was　paid　off；　at　any　rate。



You　want　to　know　all　about　dear　Dr。　Butts。　　They　say　he　has　just　been

offered　a　Professorship　in　one　of　the　great　medical　colleges。　　I

asked　him　about　it；　and　he　did　not　say　that　he　had　or　had　not。

〃But；〃　said　be；　〃suppose　that　I　had　been　offered　such　a　place；　do　you

think　I　ought　to　accept　it　and　leave　Arrowhead　Village？　　Let　us　talk

it　over；〃　said　he；　〃just　as　if　I　had　had　such　an　offer。〃　　I　told　him

he　ought　to　stay。　　There　are　plenty　of　men　that　can　get　into　a

Professor's　chair；　I　said；　and　talk　like　Solomons　to　a　class　of

wondering　pupils：　but　once　get　a　really　good　doctor　in　a　place；　a　man

who　knows　all　about　everybody；　whether　they　have　this　or　that

tendency；　whether　when　they　are　sick　they　have　a　way　of　dying　or　a

way　of　getting　well；　what　medicines　agree　with　them　and　what　drugs

they　cannot　take；　whether　they　are　of　the　sort　that　think　nothing　is

the　matter　with　them　until　they　are　dead　as　smoked　herring；　or　of　the

sort　that　send　for　the　minister　if　they　get　a　stomach…ache　from

eating　too　many　cucumbers；who　knows　all　about　all　the　people　within

half　a　dozen　miles　（all　the　sensible　ones；　that　is；　who　employ　a

regular　practitioner）；such　a　man　as　that；　I　say；　is　not　to　be

replaced　like　a　missing　piece　out　of　a　Springfield　musket　or　a

Waltham　watch。　　Don't　go！　　said　I。　　Stay　here　and　save　our　precious

lives；　if　you　can；　or　at　least　put　us　through　in　the　proper　way；　so

that　we　needn't　be　ashamed　of　ourselves　for　dying；　if　we　must　die。

Well；　Dr。　Butts　is　not　going　to　leave　us。　　I　hope　you　will　have　no

unwelcome　occasion　for　his　services；you　are　never　ill；　you　know；

but；　anyhow；　he　is　going　to　be　here；　and　no　matter　what　happens　he

will　be　on　hand。



The　village　news　is　not　of　a　very　exciting　character。　　Item　1。　　A　new

house　is　put　up　over　the　ashes　of　the　one　in　which　your　husband　lived

while　he　was　here。　　It　was　planned　by　one　of　the　autochthonous

inhabitants　with　the　most　ingenious　combination　of　inconveniences

that　the　natural　man　could　educe　from　his　original　perversity　of

intellect。　　To　get　at　any　one　room　you　must　pass　through　every　other。

It　is　blind；　or　nearly　so；　on　the　only　side　which　has　a　good

prospect；　and　commands　a　fine　view　of　the　barn　and　pigsty　through

numerous　windows。　　Item　2。　　We　have　a　small　fire…engine　near　the　new

house　which　can　be　worked　by　a　man　or　two；　and　would　be　equal　to　the

emergency　of　putting　out　a　bunch　of　fire…crackers。　　Item　3。　　We　have

a　new　ladder；　in　a　bog；　close　to　the　new　fire…engine；　so　if　the　new

house　catches　fire；　like　its　predecessor；　and　there　should　happen　to；

be　a　sick　man　on　an　upper　floor；　he　can　be　got　out　without　running

the　risk　of　going　up　and　down　a　burning　staircase。　　What　a　blessed

thing　it　was　that　there　was　no　fire…engine　near　by　and　no　ladder　at

hand　on　the　day　of　the　great　rescue！　　If　there　had　been；　what　a

change　in　your　programme　of　life！　　You　remember　that　〃cup　of　tea

spilt　on　Mrs。　Masham's　apron；〃　which　we　used　to　read　of　in　one　of

Everett's　Orations；　and　all　its　wide…reaching　consequences　in　the

affairs　of　Europe。　　I　hunted　up　that　cup　of　tea　as　diligently　as　ever

a　Boston　matron　sought　for　the　last　leaves　in　her　old　caddy　after　the

tea…chests　had　been　flung　overboard　at　Griffin's　wharf；but　no

matter　about　that；　now。　　That　is　the　way　things　come　about　in　this

world。　　I　must　write　a　lecture　on　lucky　mishaps；　or；　more　elegantly；

fortunate　calamities。　　It　will　be　just　the　converse　of　that　odd　essay

of　Swift's　we　read　together；　the　awkward　and　stupid　things　done　with

the　best　intentions。　　Perhaps　I　shall　deliver　the　lecture　in　your

city：　you　will　come　and　hear　it；　and　bring　him；　won't

you；　dearest？

Always；　your　loving



LURIDA。









MISS　LURIDA　VINCENT　TO　MRS。　EUTHYMIA　KIRKWOOD。



It　seems　forever　since　you　left　us；　dearest　Euthymia！　　And　are　you；

and　is　your　husband；　and　Paolo；good　Paolo；are　you　all　as　well　and

happy　as　you　have　been　and　as　you　ought　to　be？　　I　suppose　our　small

village　seems　a　very　quiet　sort　of　place　to　pass　the　winter　in；　now

that　you　have　become　accustomed　to　the　noise　and　gayety　of　a　great

city。　　For　all　that；　it　is　a　pretty　busy　place　this　winter；　I　can

tell　you。　　We　have　sleighing　parties；I　never　go　to　them；　myself；

because　I　can't　keep　warm；　and　my　mind　freezes　up　when　my　blood　cools

down　below　95　or　96　deg。　Fahrenheit。　　I　had　a　great　deal　rather　sit

by　a　good　fire　and　read　about　Arctic　discoveries。　　But　I　like　very

well　to　hear　the　bells'　jingling　and　to　see　the　young　people　trying

to　have　a　good　time　as　hard　as　they　do　at　a　picnic。　　It　may　be　that

they　do；　but　to　me　a　picnic　is　purgatory　and　a　sleigh…ride　that　other

place；　where；　as　my　favorite　Milton　says；　〃frost　performs　the　effect

of　fire。〃　　I　believe　I　have　quoted　him　correctly；　I　ought　to；　for　I

could　repeat　half　his　poems　from　memory　once；　if　I　cannot　now。



You　must　have　plenty　of　excitement　in　your　city　life。　　I　suppose　you

recognized　yourself　in　one　of　the　society　columns　of　the　〃Household

Inquisitor：〃　〃Mrs。　E。　　K。；　very　beautiful；　in　an　elegant；〃　etc。；　etc；

〃with　pearls；〃　etc。；　etc。；as　if　you　were　not　the　ornament　of　all

that　you　wear；　no　matter　what　it　is！



I　am　so　glad　that　you　have　married　a　scholar！　　Why　should　not

Mauriceyou　both　tell　me　to　call　him　sotake　the　diplomatic　office

which　has　been　offered　him？　　It　seems　to　me　that　he　would　find

himself　in　exactly　the　right　place。　　He　can　talk　in　two　or　three

languages；　has　good　manners；　and　a　wife　whowell；　what　shall　I　say

of　Mrs。　Kirkwood　but　that　〃she　would　be　good　company　for　a　queen；〃　as

our　old　friend　the　quondam　landlady　of　the　Anchor　Tavern　used　to　say？

I　should　so　like　to　see　you　presented　at　Court！　　It　seems　to　me　that

I　should　be　willing　to　hold　your　train　for　the　sake　of　seeing　you　in

your　court　feathers　and　things。



As　for　myself；　I　have　been　thinking　of　late　that　I　would　become

either　a　professional　lecturer　or　head　mistress　of　a　great　school　or

college　for　girls。　　I　have　tried　the　first　business　a　little。　　Last

month　I　delivered　a　lecture　on　Quaternions。　　I　got　three　for　my

audience；　two　came　over　from　the　Institute；　and　one　from　that　men's

college　which　they　try　to　make　out　to　be　a　university；　and　where　no

female　is　admitted　unless　she　belongs　among　the　quadrupeds。　　I

enjoyed　lecturing；　but　the　subject　is　a　difficult　one；　and　I　don't

think　any　one　of　them　had　any　very　clear　notion　of　what　I　was　talking

about；　except　Rhodora；and　I　know　she　did　n't。　　To　tell　the　truth；　I

was　lecturing　to　instruct　myself。　　I　mean　to　try　something　easier

next　time。　　I　have　thought　of　the　Basque　language　and　literature。

What　do　you　say　to　that？



The　Society　goes　on　famously。　　We　have　had　a　paper　presented　and　read

lately　which　has　greatly　amused　some　of　us　and　provoked　a　few　of　the

weaker　sort。　　The　writer　is　that　crabbed　old　Professor　of　Belles…

Lettres　at　that　men's　college　over　there。　　He　is　dreadfully　hard　on

the　poor　〃poets；〃　as　they　call　themselves。　　It　seems　that　a　great

many　young　persons；　and　more　especially　a　great　many　young　girls；　of

whom　the　Institute　has　furnished　a　considerable　proportion；　have

taken　to　sending　him　their　rhymed　productions　to　be　criticised；

expecting　to　be　praised；　no　doubt；　every　one　of　them。　　I　must　give

you　one　of　the　sauciest　extracts　from　his　paper　in　his　own　words：



〃It　takes　half　my　time　to　read　the　'poems'　sent　me　by　young　people　of

both　sexes。　　They　would　be　more　shy　of　doing　it　if　they　knew　that　I

recognize　a　tendency　to　rhyming　as　a　common　form　of　mental　weakness；

and　the　publication　of　a　thin　volume　of　verse　as　prima　facie　evidence

of　ambitious　mediocrity；　if　not　inferiority。　　Of　course　there　are

exceptions　to　this　rule　of　judgment；　but　I　maintain　that　the

presumption　is　always　against　the　rhymester　as　compared　with　the　less

pretentious　persons　about　him　or　her；　busy　with　some　useful　calling；

too　busy　to　be　tagging　rhymed　commonplaces　together。　　Just　now

there　seems　to　be　an　epidemic　of　rhyming　as　bad　as　the　dancing　mania；

or　the　sweating　sickness。　　After　reading　a　certain　amount　of

manuscript　verse　one　is　disposed　to　anathematize　the　inventor　of

homophonous　syllabification。　　＇This　phrase　made　a　great　laugh　when　it

was　read。＇　This；　that　is　rhyming；　must　have　been　found　out　very

early；



　　　　　'Where　are　you；　Adam？'



　　　　　'Here　am　I；　Madam；'



but　it　can　never　have　been　habitually　practised　until　after　the　Fall。

The　intrusion　of　tintinnabulating　terminations　into　the

conversational　intercourse　of　men　and　angels　would　have　spoiled

Paradise　itself。　　Milton　would　not　have　them　even　in　Paradise　Lost；

you　remember。　　For　my　own　part；　I　wish　certain　rhymes　could　be

declared　contraband　of　written　or　printed　language。　　Nothing　should

be　allowed　to　be　hurled　at　the　world　or　whirled　with　it；　or　furled

upon　it　or　curled　over　it；　all　eyes　should　be　kept　away　from　the

skies；　in　spite　of　os　homini　sublime　dedit；　youth　should　be　coupled

with　all　the　virtues　except　truth；　earth　should　never　be　reminded　of

her　birth；　death　should　never　be　allowed　to　stop　a　mortal's　breath；

nor　the　bell　to　sound　his　knell；　nor　flowers　from　blossoming　bowers

to　wave　over　his　grave　or　show　their　bloom　upon　his　tomb。　　We　have

rhyming　dictionaries；let　us　have　one　from　which　all　rhymes　are

rigorously　excluded。　　The　sight　of　a　poor　creature　grubbing　for

rhymes　to　fill　up　his　sonnet；　or　to　cram　one　of　those　voracious；

rhyme…swallowing　rigmaroles　which　some　of　our　drudging　poetical

operatives　have　been　exhausting　themselves　of　late　to　satiate　with

jingles；　makes　my　head　ache　and　my　stomach　rebel。　　Work；　work　of　some

kind；　is　the　business　of　men　and　women；　not　the　making　of　jingles！

No；no；no！　　I　want　to　see　the　young　people　in　our　schools　and

academies　and　colleges；　and　the　graduates　of　these　institutions；

lifted　up　out　of　the　little　Dismal　Swamp　of　self…contemplating　and

self…indulging　and　self…commiserating　emotionalism　which　is

surfeiting　the　land　with　those　literary　sandwiches；thin　slices　of

tinkling　sentimentality　between　two　covers　looking　like　hard…baked

gilt　gingerbread。　　But　what　faces　these　young　folks　make　up　at　my

good　a