the essays of montaigne, v17-第1章

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The　Essays　of　Montaigne；　V17

by　Michel　de　Montaigne

Translated　by　Charles　Cotton

Edited　by　William　Carew　Hazilitt

1877







CONTENTS　OF　VOLUME　17。

IX。　　　Of　Vanity



CHAPTER　IX

OF　VANITY

There　is；　peradventure；　no　more　manifest　vanity　than　to　write　of　it　so
vainly。　　That　which　divinity　has　so　divinely　expressed　to　us　＇〃Vanity
of　vanities：　all　is　vanity。〃Eccles。；　i。　2。＇　ought　to　be　carefully　and
continually　meditated　by　men　of　understanding。　　Who　does　not　see　that　I
have　taken　a　road；　in　which；　incessantly　and　without　labour；　I　shall
proceed　so　long　as　there　shall　be　ink　and　paper　in　the　world？　　I　can　give
no　account　of　my　life　by　my　actions；　fortune　has　placed　them　too　low：　I
must　do　it　by　my　fancies。　　And　yet　I　have　seen　a　gentleman　who　only
communicated　his　life　by　the　workings　of　his　belly：　you　might　see　on　his
premises　a　show　of　a　row　of　basins　of　seven　or　eight　days'　standing；　it
was　his　study；　his　discourse；　all　other　talk　stank　in　his　nostrils。
Here；　but　not　so　nauseous；　are　the　excrements　of　an　old　mind；　sometimes
thick；　sometimes　thin；　and　always　indigested。　　And　when　shall　I　have　done
representing　the　continual　agitation　and　mutation　of　my　thoughts；　as　they
come　into　my　head；　seeing　that　Diomedes　wrote　six　thousand　books　upon　the
sole　subject　of　grammar？

　　　　　＇It　was　not　Diomedes；　but　Didymus　the　grammarian；　who；　as　Seneca
　　　　　（Ep。；　88）　tells　us；　wrote　four　not　six　thousand　books　on　questions
　　　　　of　vain　literature；　which　was　the　principal　study　of　the　ancient
　　　　　grammarian。Coste。　　But　the　number　is　probably　exaggerated；　and　for
　　　　　books　we　should　doubtless　read　pamphlets　or　essays。＇

What；　then；　ought　prating　to　produce；　since　prattling　and　the　first
beginning　to　speak；　stuffed　the　world　with　such　a　horrible　load　of
volumes？　　So　many　words　for　words　only。　　O　Pythagoras；　why　didst　not　thou
allay　this　tempest？　　They　accused　one　Galba　of　old　for　living　idly；　he
made　answer；　〃That　every　one　ought　to　give　account　of　his　actions；　but
not　of　his　home。〃　　He　was　mistaken；　for　justice　also　takes　cognisance　of
those　who　glean　after　the　reaper。

But　there　should　be　some　restraint　of　law　against　foolish　and　impertinent
scribblers；　as　well　as　against　vagabonds　and　idle　persons；　which　if　there
were；　both　I　and　a　hundred　others　would　be　banished　from　the　reach　of　our
people。　　I　do　not　speak　this　in　jest：　scribbling　seems　to　be　a　symptom　of
a　disordered　and　licentious　age。　　When　did　we　write　so　much　as　since　our
troubles？　when　the　Romans　so　much；　as　upon　the　point　of　ruin？　　Besides
that；　the　refining　of　wits　does　not　make　people　wiser　in　a　government：
this　idle　employment　springs　from　this；　that　every　one　applies　himself
negligently　to　the　duty　of　his　vocation；　and　is　easily　debauched　from　it。
The　corruption　of　the　age　is　made　up　by　the　particular　contribution　of
every　individual　man；　some　contribute　treachery；　others　injustice；
irreligion；　tyranny；　avarice；　cruelty；　according　to　their　power；　the
weaker　sort　contribute　folly；　vanity；　and　idleness；　of　these　I　am　one。
It　seems　as　if　it　were　the　season　for　vain　things；　when　the　hurtful
oppress　us；　in　a　time　when　doing　ill　is　common；　to　do　but　what　signifies
nothing　is　a　kind　of　commendation。　　'Tis　my　comfort；　that　I　shall　be　one
of　the　last　who　shall　be　called　in　question；　and　whilst　the　greater
offenders　are　being　brought　to　account；　I　shall　have　leisure　to　amend：
for　it　would；　methinks；　be　against　reason　to　punish　little
inconveniences；　whilst　we　are　infested　with　the　greater。　　As　the
physician　Philotimus　said　to　one　who　presented　him　his　finger　to　dress；
and　who　he　perceived；　both　by　his　complexion　and　his　breath；　had　an　ulcer
in　his　lungs：　〃Friend；　it　is　not　now　time　to　play　with　your　nails。〃
＇Plutarch；　How　we　may　distinguish　a　Flatterer　from　a　Friend。＇

And　yet　I　saw；　some　years　ago；　a　person；　whose　name　and　memory　I　have　in
very　great　esteem；　in　the　very　height　of　our　great　disorders；　when　there
was　neither　law　nor　justice；　nor　magistrate　who　performed　his　office；　no
more　than　there　is　now；　publish　I　know　not　what　pitiful　reformations
about　cloths；　cookery；　and　law　chicanery。　　Those　are　amusements　wherewith
to　feed　a　people　that　are　ill…used；　to　show　that　they　are　not　totally
forgotten。　　Those　others　do　the　same；　who　insist　upon　prohibiting
particular　ways　of　speaking；　dances；　and　games；　to　a　people　totally
abandoned　to　all　sorts　of　execrable　vices。　　'Tis　no　time　to　bathe　and
cleanse　one's　self；　when　one　is　seized　by　a　violent　fever；　it　was　for　the
Spartans　alone　to　fall　to　combing　and　curling　themselves；　when　they　were
just　upon　the　point　of　running　headlong　into　some　extreme　danger　of　their
life。

For　my　part；　I　have　that　worse　custom；　that　if　my　slipper　go　awry；　I　let
my　shirt　and　my　cloak　do　so　too；　I　scorn　to　mend　myself　by　halves。

When　I　am　in　a　bad　plight；　I　fasten　upon　the　mischief；　I　abandon　myself
through　despair；　I　let　myself　go　towards　the　precipice；　and；　as　they　say；
〃throw　the　helve　after　the　hatchet〃；　I　am　obstinate　in　growing　worse；　and
think　myself　no　longer　worth　my　own　care；　I　am　either　well　or　ill
throughout。　　'T　is　a　favour　to　me；　that　the　desolation　of　this　kingdom
falls　out　in　the　desolation　of　my　age：　I　better　suffer　that　my　ill　be
multiplied；　than　if　my　well　had　been　disturbed。＇That；　being　ill；　I
should　grow　worse；　than　that；　being　well；　I　should　grow　ill。＇　The　words
I　utter　in　mishap　are　words　of　anger：　my　courage　sets　up　its　bristles；
instead　of　letting　them　down；　and；　contrary　to　others；　I　am　more　devout
in　good　than　in　evil　fortune；　according　to　the　precept　of　Xenophon；　if
not　according　to　his　reason；　and　am　more　ready　to　turn　up　my　eyes　to
heaven　to　return　thanks；　than　to　crave。　　I　am　more　solicitous　to　improve
my　health；　when　I　am　well；　than　to　restore　it　when　I　am　sick；
prosperities　are　the　same　discipline　and　instruction　to　me　that
adversities　and　rods　are　to　others。　　As　if　good　fortune　were　a　thing
inconsistent　with　good　conscience；　men　never　grow　good　but　in　evil
fortune。　　Good　fortune　is　to　me　a　singular　spur　to　modesty　and
moderation：　an　entreaty　wins；　a　threat　checks　me；　favour　makes　me　bend；
fear　stiffens　me。

Amongst　human　conditions　this　is　common　enough：　to　be　better　pleased　with
foreign　things　than　with　our　own；　and　to　love　innovation　and　change：

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　〃Ipsa　dies　ideo　nos　grato　perluit　haustu；
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　Quod　permutatis　hora　recurrit　equis：〃

　　　　　＇〃The　light　of　day　itself　shines　more　pleasantly　upon　us　because　it
　　　　　changes　its　horses　every　hour。〃　　Spoke　of　a　water　hour…glass；
　　　　　adds　　Cotton。＇

I　have　my　share。　　Those　who　follow　the　other　extreme；　of　being　quite
satisfied　and　pleased　with　and　in　themselves；　of　valuing　what　they　have
above　all　the　rest；　and　of　concluding　no　beauty　can　be　greater　than　what
they　see；　if　they　are　not　wiser　than　we；　are　really　more　happy；　I　do　not
envy　their　wisdom；　but　their　good　fortune。

This　greedy　humour　of　new　and　unknown　things　helps　to　nourish　in　me　the
desire　of　travel；　but　a　great　many　more　circumstances　contribute　to　it；
I　am　very　willing　to　quit　the　government　of　my　house。　　There　is；　I
confess；　a　kind　of　convenience　in　commanding；　though　it　were　but　in　a
barn；　and　in　being　obeyed　by　one's　people；　but　'tis　too　uniform　and
languid　a　pleasure；　and　is；　moreover；　of　necessity　mixed　with　a　thousand
vexatious　thoughts：　one　while　the　poverty　and　the　oppression　of　your
tenants：　another；　quarrels　amongst　neighbours：　another；　the　trespasses
they　make　upon　you　afflict　you；

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　〃Aut　verberatae　grandine　vineae；
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　Fundusque　mendax；　arbore　nunc　aquas
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　Culpante；　nunc　torrentia　agros
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　Sidera；　nunc　hyemes　iniquas。〃

　　　　　＇〃Or　hail…smitten　vines　and　the　deceptive　farm；　now　trees　damaged
　　　　　by　the　rains；　or　years　of　dearth；　now　summer's　heat　burning　up　the
　　　　　petals；　now　destructive　winters。〃Horatius；　Od。；　iii。　I；　29。＇

and　that　God　scarce　in　six　months　sends　a　season　wherein　your　bailiff　can
do　his　business　as　he　should；　but　that　if　it　serves　the　vines；　it　spoils
the　meadows：

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　〃Aut　nimiis　torret　fervoribus　aetherius　sol；
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　Aut　subiti　perimunt　imbres；　gelidoeque　pruinae；
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　Flabraque　ventorum　violento　turbine　vexant；〃

　　　　　＇〃Either　the　scorching　sun　burns　up　your　fields；　or　sudden　rains　or
　　　　　frosts　destroy　your　harvests；　or　a　violent　wind　carries　away　all
　　　　　before　it。〃Lucretius；　V。　216。＇

to　which　may　be　added　the　new　and　neat…made　shoe　of　the　man　of　old；　that
hurts　your　foot；

　　　　　＇Leclerc　maliciously　suggests　that　this　is　a　sly　hit　at　Montaigne's
　　　　　wife；　the　man　of　old　being　the　person　mentioned　in　Plutarch's　Life
　　　　　of　Paulus　Emilius；　c。　3；　who；　when　his　friends　reproached　him　for
　　　　　repudiating　his　wife；　whose　various　merits　they　extolled；　pointed　to
　　　　　his　shoe；　and　said；　〃That　looks　a　nice　well…made　shoe　to　you；　but　I
　　　　　alone　know　where　it　pinches。〃＇

and　that　a　stranger　does　not　understand　how　much　it　costs　you；　and　what
you　contribute　to　maintain　that　show　of　order　that　is　seen　in　your
family；　and　that　peradventure　you　buy　too　dear。

I　came　late　to　the　government　of　a　house：　they　whom　nature　sent　into　the
world　before　me　long　eased　me　of　that　trouble；　so　that　I　had　already
taken　another　bent　more　suitable　to　my　humour。　　Yet；　for　so　much　as　I
have　seen；　'tis　an　employment　more　troublesome　than　hard；　whoever　is
capable　of　anything　else；　will　easily　do　this。　　Had　I　a　mind　to　be　rich；
that　way　would　seem　too　long；　I　had　served　my　kings；　a　more　profitable
traffic　than　any　other。　　Since　I　pretend　to　nothing　but　the　reputation　of
having　got　nothing　or　dissipated　nothing；　conformably　to　the　rest　of　my
life；　improper　either　to　do　good　or　ill　of　any　moment；　and　that　I　only
desire　to　pass　on；　I　can　do　it；　thanks　be　to　God；　without　any　great
endeavour。　　At　the　worst；　evermore　prevent　poverty　by　lessening　your
expense；　'tis　that　which　I　make　my　great　concern；　and　doubt　not　but　to　do
it　before　I　shall　be　compelled。　　As　to　the　rest；　I　have　sufficiently
settled　my　thoughts　to　live　upon　less　than　I　have；　and　live　contentedly：

　　　　　　　　　　〃Non　aestimatione　census；　verum　victu　atque　cultu；
　　　　　　　　　　terminantur　pecunix　modus。〃

　　　　　＇〃'Tis　not　by　the　value　of　possessions；　but　by　our　daily　subsistence
　　　　　and　tillage；　that　our　riches　are　truly　estimated。〃
　　　　　Cicero；　Paradox；　vi。　3。＇

My　real　need　does　not　so　wholly　take　up　all　I　have；　that　Fortune　has　not
whereon　to　fasten　her　teeth　without　biting　to　the　quick。　　My　presence；
heedless　and　ignorant　as　it　is；　does　me　great　service　in　my　domestic
affairs；　I　employ　myself　in　them；　but　it　goes　against　the　hair；　finding
that　I　have　this　in　my　house；　that　though　I　burn　my　candle　at　one　end　by
myself；　the　other　is　not　spared。

Journeys　do　me　no　harm　but　only　by　their　expense；　which　is　great；　and
more　than　I　am　well　able　to　bear；　being　always　wont　to　travel　with　not
only　a　necessary；　but　a　handsome　equipage；　I　must　make　them　so　much
shorter　and　fewer；　I　spend　therein　but　the　froth；　and　what　I　have
reserved　for　such　uses；　delaying　and　deferring　my　motion　till　that　be
ready。　　I　will　not　that　the　pleasure　of　going　abroad　sp