three men in a boat-第15章

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swearing　all　the　while；　to　disentangle　it　again。



That　is　my　opinion　of　tow…lines　in　general。　　Of　course；　there　may　be　

honourable　exceptions；　I　do　not　say　that　there　are　not。　　There　may　be　

tow…lines　that　are　a　credit　to　their　profession　…　conscientious；　

respectable　tow…lines　…　tow…lines　that　do　not　imagine　they　are　crochet…

work；　and　try　to　knit　themselves　up　into　antimacassars　the　instant　they　

are　left　to　themselves。　　I　say　there　MAY　be　such　tow…lines；　I　sincerely　

hope　there　are。　　But　I　have　not　met　with　them。



This　tow…line　I　had　taken　in　myself　just　before　we　had　got　to　the　lock。　　

I　would　not　let　Harris　touch　it；　because　he　is　careless。　　I　had　looped　it　

round　slowly　and　cautiously；　and　tied　it　up　in　the　middle；　and　folded　it　

in　two；　and　laid　it　down　gently　at　the　bottom　of　the　boat。　　Harris　had　

lifted　it　up　scientifically；　and　had　put　it　into　George's　hand。　　George　

had　taken　it　firmly；　and　held　it　away　from　him；　and　had　begun　to　unravel　

it　as　if　he　were　taking　the　swaddling　clothes　off　a　new…born　infant；　and；　

before　he　had　unwound　a　dozen　yards；　the　thing　was　more　like　a　badly…made　

door…mat　than　anything　else。



It　is　always　the　same；　and　the　same　sort　of　thing　always　goes　on　in　

connection　with　it。　　The　man　on　the　bank；　who　is　trying　to　disentangle　

it；　thinks　all　the　fault　lies　with　the　man　who　rolled　it　up；　and　when　a　

man　up　the　river　thinks　a　thing；　he　says　it。



〃What　have　you　been　trying　to　do　with　it；　make　a　fishing…net　of　it？　　

You've　made　a　nice　mess　you　have；　why　couldn't　you　wind　it　up　properly；　

you　silly　dummy？〃　he　grunts　from　time　to　time　as　he　struggles　wildly　with　

it；　and　lays　it　out　flat　on　the　tow…path；　and　runs　round　and　round　it；　

trying　to　find　the　end。



On　the　other　hand；　the　man　who　wound　it　up　thinks　the　whole　cause　of　the　

muddle　rests　with　the　man　who　is　trying　to　unwind　it。



〃It　was　all　right　when　you　took　it！〃　he　exclaims　indignantly。　　〃Why　don't　

you　think　what　you　are　doing？　　You　go　about　things　in　such　a　slap…dash　

style。　　You'd　get　a　scaffolding　pole　entangled　you　would！〃



And　they　feel　so　angry　with　one　another　that　they　would　like　to　hang　each　

other　with　the　thing。



Ten　minutes　go　by；　and　the　first　man　gives　a　yell　and　goes　mad；　and　

dances　on　the　rope；　and　tries　to　pull　it　straight　by　seizing　hold　of　the　

first　piece　that　comes　to　his　hand　and　hauling　at　it。　　Of　course；　this　

only　gets　it　into　a　tighter　tangle　than　ever。　　Then　the　second　man　climbs　

out　of　the　boat　and　comes　to　help　him；　and　they　get　in　each　other's　way；　

and　hinder　one　another。　　They　both　get　hold　of　the　same　bit　of　line；　and　

pull　at　it　in　opposite　directions；　and　wonder　where　it　is　caught。　　In　the　

end；　they　do　get　it　clear；　and　then　turn　round　and　find　that　the　boat　has　

drifted　off；　and　is　making　straight　for　the　weir。



This　really　happened　once　to　my　own　knowledge。　　It　was　up　by　Boveney；　one　

rather　windy　morning。　　We　were　pulling　down　stream；　and；　as　we　came　round　

the　bend；　we　noticed　a　couple　of　men　on　the　bank。　　They　were　looking　at　

each　other　with　as　bewildered　and　helplessly　miserable　expression　as　I　

have　ever　witnessed　on　any　human　countenance　before　or　since；　and　they　

held　a　long　tow…line　between　them。　　It　was　clear　that　something　had　

happened；　so　we　eased　up　and　asked　them　what　was　the　matter。



〃Why；　our　boat's　gone　off！〃　they　replied　in　an　indignant　tone。　　〃We　just　

got　out　to　disentangle　the　tow…line；　and　when　we　looked　round；　it　was　

gone！〃



And　they　seemed　hurt　at　what　they　evidently　regarded　as　a　mean　and　

ungrateful　act　on　the　part　of　the　boat。



We　found　the　truant　for　them　half　a　mile　further　down；　held　by　some　

rushes；　and　we　brought　it　back　to　them。　　I　bet　they　did　not　give　that　

boat　another　chance　for　a　week。



I　shall　never　forget　the　picture　of　those　two　men　walking　up　and　down　the　

bank　with　a　tow…line；　looking　for　their　boat。



One　sees　a　good　many　funny　incidents　up　the　river　in　connection　with　

towing。　　One　of　the　most　common　is　the　sight　of　a　couple　of　towers；　

walking　briskly　along；　deep　in　an　animated　discussion；　while　the　man　in　

the　boat；　a　hundred　yards　behind　them；　is　vainly　shrieking　to　them　to　

stop；　and　making　frantic　signs　of　distress　with　a　scull。　　Something　has　

gone　wrong；　the　rudder　has　come　off；　or　the　boat…hook　has　slipped　

overboard；　or　his　hat　has　dropped　into　the　water　and　is　floating　rapidly　

down　stream。



He　calls　to　them　to　stop；　quite　gently　and　politely　at　first。



〃Hi！　stop　a　minute；　will　you？〃　he　shouts　cheerily。　　〃I've　dropped　my　hat　

over…board。〃



Then：　〃Hi！　　Tom　…　Dick！　can't　you　hear？〃　not　quite　so　affably　this　time。



Then：　〃Hi！　　Confound　YOU；　you　dunder…headed　idiots！　　Hi！　stop！　　Oh　you　…　

！〃



After　that　he　springs　up；　and　dances　about；　and　roars　himself　red　in　the　

face；　and　curses　everything　he　knows。　　And　the　small　boys　on　the　bank　

stop　and　jeer　at　him；　and　pitch　stones　at　him　as　he　is　pulled　along　past　

them；　at　the　rate　of　four　miles　an　hour；　and　can't　get　out。



Much　of　this　sort　of　trouble　would　be　saved　if　those　who　are　towing　would　

keep　remembering　that　they　are　towing；　and　give　a　pretty　frequent　look　

round　to　see　how　their　man　is　getting　on。　　It　is　best　to　let　one　person　

tow。　　When　two　are　doing　it；　they　get　chattering；　and　forget；　and　the　

boat　itself；　offering；　as　it　does；　but　little　resistance；　is　of　no　real　

service　in　reminding　them　of　the　fact。



As　an　example　of　how　utterly　oblivious　a　pair　of　towers　can　be　to　their　

work；　George　told　us；　later　on　in　the　evening；　when　we　were　discussing　

the　subject　after　supper；　of　a　very　curious　instance。



He　and　three　other　men；　so　he　said；　were　sculling　a　very　heavily　laden　

boat　up　from　Maidenhead　one　evening；　and　a　little　above　Cookham　lock　they　

noticed　a　fellow　and　a　girl；　walking　along　the　towpath；　both　deep　in　an　

apparently　interesting　and　absorbing　conversation。　　They　were　carrying　a　

boat…hook　between　them；　and；　attached　to　the　boat…hook　was　a　tow…line；　

which　trailed　behind　them；　its　end　in　the　water。　　No　boat　was　near；　no　

boat　was　in　sight。　　There　must　have　been　a　boat　attached　to　that　tow…line　

at　some　time　or　other；　that　was　certain；　but　what　had　become　of　it；　what　

ghastly　fate　had　overtaken　it；　and　those　who　had　been　left　in　it；　was　

buried　in　mystery。　　Whatever　the　accident　may　have　been；　however；　it　had　

in　no　way　disturbed　the　young　lady　and　gentleman；　who　were　towing。　　They　

had　the　boat…hook　and　they　had　the　line；　and　that　seemed　to　be　all　that　

they　thought　necessary　to　their　work。



George　was　about　to　call　out　and　wake　them　up；　but；　at　that　moment；　a　

bright　idea　flashed　across　him；　and　he　didn't。　　He　got　the　hitcher　

instead；　and　reached　over；　and　drew　in　the　end　of　the　tow…line；　and　they　

made　a　loop　in　it；　and　put　it　over　their　mast；　and　then　they　tidied　up　

the　sculls；　and　went　and　sat　down　in　the　stern；　and　lit　their　pipes。



And　that　young　man　and　young　woman　towed　those　four　hulking　chaps　and　a　

heavy　boat　up　to　Marlow。



George　said　he　never　saw　so　much　thoughtful　sadness　concentrated　into　one　

glance　before；　as　when；　at　the　lock；　that　young　couple　grasped　the　idea　

that；　for　the　last　two　miles；　they　had　been　towing　the　wrong　boat。　　

George　fancied　that；　if　it　had　not　been　for　the　restraining　influence　of　

the　sweet　woman　at　his　side；　the　young　man　might　have　given　way　to　

violent　language。



The　maiden　was　the　first　to　recover　from　her　surprise；　and；　when　she　did；　

she　clasped　her　hands；　and　said；　wildly：



〃Oh；　Henry；　then　WHERE　is　auntie？〃



〃Did　they　ever　recover　the　old　lady？〃　asked　Harris。



George　replied　he　did　not　know。



Another　example　of　the　dangerous　want　of　sympathy　between　tower　and　towed　

was　witnessed　by　George　and　myself　once　up　near　Walton。　　It　was　where　the　

tow…path　shelves　gently　down　into　the　water；　and　we　were　camping　on　the　

opposite　bank；　noticing　things　in　general。　　By…and…by　a　small　boat　came　

in　sight；　towed　through　the　water　at　a　tremendous　pace　by　a　powerful　

barge　horse；　on　which　sat　a　very　small　boy。　　Scattered　about　the　boat；　in　

dreamy　and　reposeful　attitudes；　lay　five　fellows；　the　man　who　was　

steering　having　a　particularly　restful　appearance。



〃I　should　like　to　see　him　pull　the　wrong　line；〃　murmured　George；　as　they　

passed。　　And　at　that　precise　moment　the　man　did　it；　and　the　boat　rushed　

up　the　bank　with　a　noise　like　the　ripping　up　of　forty　thousand　linen　

sheets。　　Two　men；　a　hamper；　and　three　oars　immediately　left　the　boat　on　

the　larboard　side；　and　reclined　on　the　bank；　and　one　and　a　half　moments　

afterwards；　two　other　men　disembarked　from　the　starboard；　and　sat　down　

among　boat…hooks　and　sails　and　carpet…bags　and　bottles。　　The　last　man　

went　on　twenty　yards　further；　and　then　got　out　on　his　head。



This　seemed　to　sort　of　lighten　the　boat；　and　it　went　on　much　easier；　the　

small　boy　shouting　at　the　top　of　his　voice；　and　urging　his　steed　into　a　

gallop。　　The　fellows　sat　up　and　stared　at　one　another。　　It　was　some　

seconds　before　they　realised　what　had　happened　to　them；　but；　when　they　

did；　they　began　to　shout　lustily　for　the　boy　to　stop。　　He；　however；　was　

too　much　occupied　with　the　horse　to　hear　them；　and　we　watched　them；　

flying　after　him；　until　the　distance　hid　them　from　view。



I　cannot　say　I　was　sorry　at　their　mishap。　　Indeed；　I　only　wish　that　all　

the　young　fools　who　have　their　boats　towed　in　this　fashion　…　and　plenty　

do　…　could　meet　with　similar　misfortunes。　　Besides　the　risk　they　run　

themselves；　they　become　a　danger　and　an　annoyance　to　every　other　boat　

they　pass。　　Going　at　the　pace　they　do；　it　is　impossible　for　them　to　get　

out　of　anybody　else's　way；　or　for　anybody　else　to　get　out　of　theirs。　　

Their　line　gets　hitched　across　your　mast；　and　overturns　you；　or　it　

catches　somebody　in　the　boat；　and　either　throws　them　into　the　water；　or　

cuts　their　face　open。　　The　best　plan　is　to　stand　your　ground；　and　be　

prepared　to　keep　them　off　with　the　butt…end　of　a　mast。



Of　all　experiences　in　connection　with　towing；　the　most　exciting　is　being　

towed　by　girls。　　It　is　a　sensation　that　nobody　ought　to　miss。　　It　takes　

three　girls　to　tow　always；　two　hold　the　rope；　and　the　other　one　runs　

round　and　round；　and　giggles。　　They　generally　begin　by　getting　themselves　

tied　up。　　They　get　the　line　round　their　legs；　and　have　to　sit　down　on　the　

path　and　undo　each　other；　and　then　they　twist　it　round　their　necks；　and　

are　nearly　strangled。　　They　fix　it　straight；　however；　at　last；　and　start　

off　at　a　run；　pulling　the　boat　along　at　quite　a　dangerous　pace。　　At　the　

end　of　a　hundred　yards　they　are　naturally　breathless；　and　suddenly　stop；　

and　all　sit　down　on　the　grass　and　laugh；　and　your　boat　drifts　out　to　mid…

stream　and　turns　round；　before　you　know　what　has　happened；　or　can　get　

hold　of　a　scull。　　Then　they　stand　up；　and　are　surprised。



〃Oh；　look！〃　they　say；　〃he's　gone　right　out　into　the　middle。