the courtship of susan bell-第5章

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morning　Susan　got　up　to　give　Aaron　his　breakfast；　but　Mrs。　Bell　got
up　also。　　Susan　boldly　declared　her　right　to　do　so；　and　Mrs。　Bell
found　no　objection　which　she　could　urge。

But　after　that　Aaron　was　always　absent　till　seven　or　eight　in　the
evening；　when　he　would　return　to　his　tea。　　Then　came　the　hour　or　two
of　lovers'　intercourse。

But　they　were　very　tame；　those　hours。　　The　widow　still　felt　an
undefined　fear　that　she　was　wrong；　and　though　her　heart　yearned　to
know　that　her　daughter　was　happy　in　the　sweet　happiness　of　accepted
love；　yet　she　dreaded　to　be　too　confident。　　Not　a　word　had　been　said
about　money　matters；　not　a　word　of　Aaron　Dunn's　relatives。　　So　she
did　not　leave　them　by　themselves；　but　waited　with　what　patience　she
could　for　the　return　of　her　wise　counsellors。

And　then　Susan　hardly　knew　how　to　behave　herself　with　her　accepted
suitor。　　She　felt　that　she　was　very　happy；　but　perhaps　she　was　most
happy　when　she　was　thinking　about　him　through　the　long　day；
assisting　in　fixing　little　things　for　his　comfort；　and　waiting　for
his　evening　return。　　And　as　he　sat　there　in　the　parlour；　she　could
be　happy　then　too；　if　she　were　but　allowed　to　sit　still　and　look　at
him；not　stare　at　him；　but　raise　her　eyes　every　now　and　again　to
his　face　for　the　shortest　possible　glance；　as　she　had　been　used　to
do　ever　since　he　came　there。

But　he；　unconscionable　lover；　wanted　to　hear　her　speak；　was　desirous
of　being　talked　to；　and　perhaps　thought　that　he　should　by　rights　be
allowed　to　sit　by　her；　and　hold　her　hand。　　No　such　privileges　were
accorded　to　him。　　If　they　had　been　alone　together；　walking　side　by
side　on　the　green　turf；　as　lovers　should　walk；　she　would　soon　have
found　the　use　of　her　tongue；have　talked　fast　enough　no　doubt。
Under　such　circumstances；　when　a　girl's　shyness　has　given　way　to
real　intimacy；　there　is　in　general　no　end　to　her　power　of　chatting。
But　though　there　was　much　love　between　Aaron　and　Susan；　there　was　as
yet　but　little　intimacy。　　And　then；　let　a　mother　be　ever　so
motherlyand　no　mother　could　have　more　of　a　mother's　tenderness
than　Mrs。　Bellstill　her　presence　must　be　a　restraint。　　Aaron　was
very　fond　of　Mrs。　Bell；　but　nevertheless　he　did　sometimes　wish　that
some　domestic　duty　would　take　her　out　of　the　parlour　for　a　few　happy
minutes。　　Susan　went　out　very　often；　but　Mrs。　Bell　seemed　to　be　a
fixture。

Once　for　a　moment　he　did　find　his　love　alone；　immediately　as　he　came
into　the　house。　　〃My　own　Susan；　you　do　love　me？　do　say　so　to　me
once。〃　　And　he　contrived　to　slip　his　arm　round　her　waist。　　〃Yes；〃
she　whispered；　but　she　slipped　like　an　eel　from　his　hands；　and　left
him　only　preparing　himself　for　a　kiss。　　And　then　when　she　got　to　her
room；　half　frightened；　she　clasped　her　hands　together；　and　bethought
herself　that　she　did　really　love　him　with　a　strength　and　depth　of
love　which　filled　her　whole　existence。　　Why　could　she　not　have　told
him　something　of　all　this？

And　so　the　few　days　of　his　second　sojourn　at　Saratoga　passed　away；
not　altogether　satisfactorily。　　It　was　settled　that　he　should　return
to　New　York　on　Saturday　night；　leaving　Saratoga　on　that　evening；　and
as　the　BeckardsHetta　was　already　regarded　quite　as　a　Beckardwere
to　be　back　to　dinner　on　that　day；　Mrs。　Bell　would　have　an
opportunity　of　telling　her　wondrous　tale。　　It　might　be　well　that　Mr。
Beckard　should　see　Aaron　before　his　departure。

On　that　Saturday　the　Beckards　did　arrive　just　in　time　for　dinner。
It　may　be　imagined　that　Susan's　appetite　was　not　very　keen；　nor　her
manner　very　collected。　　But　all　this　passed　by　unobserved　in　the
importance　attached　to　the　various　Beckard　arrangements　which　came
under　discussion。　　Ladies　and　gentlemen　circumstanced　as　were　Hetta
and　Mr。　Beckard　are　perhaps　a　little　too　apt　to　think　that　their　own
affairs　are　paramount。　　But　after　dinner　Susan　vanished　at　once；　and
when　Hetta　prepared　to　follow　her；　desirous　of　further　talk　about
matrimonial　arrangements；　her　mother　stopped　her；　and　the　disclosure
was　made。

〃Proposed　to　her！〃　said　Hetta；　who　perhaps　thought　that　one　marriage
in　a　family　was　enough　at　a　time。

〃Yes；　my　loveand　he　did　it；　I　must　say；　in　a　very　honourable　way；
telling　her　not　to　make　any　answer　till　she　had　spoken　to　me；now
that　was　very　nice；　was　it　not；　Phineas？〃　　Mrs。　Bell　had　become　very
anxious　that　Aaron　should　not　be　voted　a　wolf。

〃And　what　has　been　said　to　him　since？〃　asked　the　discreet　Phineas。

〃Whynothing　absolutely　decisive。〃　　Oh；　Mrs。　Bell！　　〃You　see　I　know
nothing　as　to　his　means。〃

〃Nothing　at　all；〃　said　Hetta。

〃He　is　a　man　that　will　always　earn　his　bread；〃　said　Mr。　Beckard；　and
Mrs。　Bell　blessed　him　in　her　heart　for　saying　it。

〃But　has　he　been　encouraged？〃　asked　Hetta。

〃Well；　yes；　he　has；〃　said　the　widow。

〃Then　Susan　I　suppose　likes　him？〃　asked　Phineas。

〃Well；　yes；　she　does；〃　said　the　widow。　　And　the　conference　ended　in
a　resolution　that　Phineas　Beckard　should　have　a　conversation　with
Aaron　Dunn；　as　to　his　worldly　means　and　position；　and　that　he；
Phineas；　should　decide　whether　Aaron　might；　or　might　not　be　at　once
accepted　as　a　lover；　according　to　the　tenor　of　that　conversation。
Poor　Susan　was　not　told　anything　of　all　this。　　〃Better　not；〃　said
Hetta　the　demure。　　〃It　will　only　flurry　her　the　more。〃　　How　would
she　have　liked　it；　if　without　consulting　her；　they　had　left　it　to
Aaron　to　decide　whether　or　no　she　might　marry　Phineas？

They　knew　where　on　the　works　Aaron　was　to　be　found；　and　thither　Mr。
Beckard　rode　after　dinner。　　We　need　not　narrate　at　length　the
conference　between　the　young　men。　　Aaron　at　once　declared　that　he
had　nothing　but　what　he　made　as　an　engineer；　and　explained　that　he
held　no　permanent　situation　on　the　line。　　He　was　well　paid　at　that
present　moment；　but　at　the　end　of　summer　he　would　have　to　look　for
employment。

〃Then　you　can　hardly　marry　quite　at　present；〃　said　the　discreet
minister。

〃Perhaps　not　quite　immediately。〃

〃And　long　engagements　are　never　wise；〃　said　the　other。

〃Three　or　four　months；〃　suggested　Aaron。　　But　Mr。　Beckard　shook　his
head。

The　afternoon　at　Mrs。　Bell's　house　was　melancholy。　　The　final
decision　of　the　three　judges　was　as　follows。　　There　was　to　be　no
engagement；　of　course　no　correspondence。　　Aaron　was　to　be　told　that
it　would　be　better　that　he　should　get　lodgings　elsewhere　when　he
returned；　but　that　he　would　be　allowed　to　visit　at　Mrs。　Bell's
house；and　at　Mrs。　Beckard's；　which　was　very　considerate。　　If　he
should　succeed　in　getting　a　permanent　appointment；　and　if　he　and
Susan　still　held　the　same　mind；　why　then&c。　&c。　　Such　was　Susan's
fate；　as　communicated　to　her　by　Mrs。　Bell　and　Hetta。　　She　sat　still
and　wept　when　she　heard　it；　but　she　did　not　complain。　　She　had
always　felt　that　Hetta　would　be　against　her。

〃Mayn't　I　see　him；　then？〃　she　said　through　her　tears。

Hetta　thought　she　had　better　not。　　Mrs。　Bell　thought　she　might。
Phineas　decided　that　they　might　shake　hands；　but　only　in　full
conclave。　　There　was　to　be　no　lovers'　farewell。　　Aaron　was　to　leave
the　house　at　half…past　five；　but　before　he　went　Susan　should　be
called　down。　　Poor　Susan！　　She　sat　down　and　bemoaned　herself；
uncomplaining；　but　very　sad。

Susan　was　soft；　feminine；　and　manageable。　　But　Aaron　Dunn　was　not
very　soft；　was　especially　masculine；　and　in　some　matters　not　easily
manageable。　　When　Mr。　Beckard　in　the　widow's　presenceHetta　had
retired　in　obedience　to　her　loverinformed　him　of　the　court's
decision；　there　came　over　his　face　the　look　which　he　had　worn　when
he　burned　the　picture。　　〃Mrs。　Bell；〃　he　said；　〃had　encouraged　his
engagement；　and　he　did　not　understand　why　other　people　should　now
come　and　disturb　it。〃

〃Not　an　engagement；　Aaron；〃　said　Mrs。　Bell　piteously。

〃He　was　able　and　willing　to　work；〃　he　said；　〃and　knew　his
profession。　　What　young　man　of　his　age　had　done　better　than　he　had？〃
and　he　glanced　round　at　them　with　perhaps　more　pride　than　was　quite
becoming。

Then　Mr。　Beckard　spoke　out；　very　wisely　no　doubt；　but　perhaps　a
little　too　much　at　length。　　Sons　and　daughters；　as　well　as　fathers
and　mothers；　will　know　very　well　what　he　said；　so　I　need　not　repeat
his　words。　　I　cannot　say　that　Aaron　listened　with　much　attention；
but　he　understood　perfectly　what　the　upshot　of　it　was。　　Many　a　man
understands　the　purport　of　many　a　sermon　without　listening　to　one
word　in　ten。　　Mr。　Beckard　meant　to　be　kind　in　his　manner；　indeed　was
so；　only　that　Aaron　could　not　accept　as　kindness　any　interference　on
his　part。

〃I'll　tell　you　what；　Mrs。　Bell；〃　said　he。　　〃I　look　upon　myself　as
engaged　to　her。　　And　I　look　on　her　as　engaged　to　me。　　I　tell　you　so
fairly；　and　I　believe　that's　her　mind　as　well　as　mine。〃

〃But；　Aaron；　you　won't　try　to　see　heror　to　write　to　her；not　in
secret；　will　you？〃

〃When　I　try　to　see　her；　I'll　come　and　knock　at　this　door；　and　if　I
write　to　her；　I'll　write　to　her　full　address　by　the　post。　　I　never
did　and　never　will　do　anything　in　secret。〃

〃I　know　you're　good　and　honest；〃　said　the　widow　with　her
handkerchief　to　her　eyes。

〃Then　why　do　you　separate　us？〃　asked　he；　almost　roughly。　　〃I　suppose
I　may　see　her　at　any　rate　before　I　go。　　My　time's　nearly　up　now；　I
guess。〃

And　then　Susan　was　called　for；　and　she　and　Hetta　came　down　together。
Susan　crept　in　behind　her　sister。　　Her　eyes　were　red　with　weeping；
and　her　appearance　was　altogether　disconsolate。　　She　had　had　a　lover
for　a　week；　and　now　she　was　to　be　robbed　of　him。

〃Good…bye；　Susan；〃　said　Aaron；　and　he　walked　up　to　her　without
bashfulness　or　embarrassment。　　Had　they　all　been　compliant　and
gracious　to　him　he　would　have　been　as　bashful　as　his　love；　but　now
his　temper　was　hot。　　〃Good…bye；　Susan；〃　and　she　took　his　hand；　and
he　held　hers　till　he　had　finished。　　〃And　remember　this；　I　look　upon
you　as　my　promised　wife；　and　I　don't　fear　that　you'll　deceive　me。
At　any　rate　I　shan't　deceive　you。〃

〃Good…bye；　Aaron；〃　she　sobbed。

〃Good…bye；　and　God　bless　you；　my　own　darling！〃　　And　then　without
saying　a　word　to　any　one　else；　he　turned　his　back　upon　them　and　went
his　way。

There　had　been　something　very　consolatory；　very　sweet；　to　the　poor
girl　in　her　lover's　last　words。　　And　yet　they　had　almost　made　her
tremble。　　He　had　been　so　bold；　and　stern；　and　confident。　　He　had
seemed　so　utterly　to　defy　the　impregnable　discretion　of　Mr。　Beckard；
so　to　despise　the　demure　propriety　of　Hetta。　　But　of　this　she　felt
sure；　when　she　came　to　question　her　heart；　that　she　could　never；
never；　never　cease　to　love　him　better　than　all　the　world　beside。
She　would　waitpatiently　if　she　could　find　patienceand　then；　if
he　deserted　her；　she　would　die。

In　another　month　Hetta　became　Mrs。　Beckard。　　Susan　brisked　up　a
little　for　the　occasion；　and　looked　very　pretty　as　bridesmaid。　　She
was　serviceable　too　in　arranging　household　matters；　hemming　linen
and　sewing　table…cloths；　though　of　course　in　these　matters　she　did
not　do　a　tenth　of　what　Hetta　did。

Then　the　summer　came；　the　Saratoga　summer　of　July；　August；　and
September；　during　which　the　widow's　house　was　full；　and　Susan's
hands　saved　the　pain　of　her　heart；　for　she　was　forced　into
occupation。　　Now　that　Hetta　was　gone　to　her　own　duties；　it　was
necessary　that　Susan's　part　in　the　household　should　be　more
prominent。

Aaron　did　not