under western eyes-第12章

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had　done　all　that　was　necessary　to　betray　himself。　　Precious

little　had　been　needed　to　deceive　him。



〃I　have　said　no　word　to　him　that　was　not　strictly　true。

Not　one　word；〃　Razumov　argued　with　himself。



Once　engaged　on　this　line　of　thought　there　could　be　no　question

of　doing　useful　work。　　The　same　ideas　went　on　passing　through　his

mind；　and　he　pronounced　mentally　the　same　words　over　and　over

again。　　He　shut　up　all　the　books　and　rammed　all　his　papers　into

his　pocket　with　convulsive　movements；　raging　inwardly　against　Haldin。



As　he　was　leaving　the　library　a　long　bony　student　in　a　threadbare

overcoat　joined　him；　stepping　moodily　by　his　side。　　Razumov

answered　his　mumbled　greeting　without　looking　at　him　at　all。



〃What　does　he　want　with　me？　　〃he　thought　with　a　strange　dread

of　the　unexpected　which　he　tried　to　shake　off　lest　it　should

fasten　itself　upon　his　life　for　good　and　all。　　And　the　other；

muttering　cautiously　with　downcast　eyes；　supposed　that　his

comrade　had　seen　the　news　of　de　P…'s　executionerthat　was

the　expression　he　usedhaving　been　arrested　the　night

before　last。　。　。　。



〃I've　been　illshut　up　in　my　rooms；〃　Razumov　mumbled

through　his　teeth。



The　tall　student；　raising　his　shoulders；　shoved　his　hands　deep

into　his　pockets。　　He　had　a　hairless；　square；　tallowy　chin　which

trembled　slightly　as　he　spoke；　and　his　nose　nipped　bright　red　by

the　sharp　air　looked　like　a　false　nose　of　painted　cardboard

between　the　sallow　cheeks。　　His　whole　appearance　was　stamped　with

the　mark　of　cold　and　hunger。　　He　stalked　deliberately　at

Razumov's　elbow　with　his　eyes　on　the　ground。



〃It's　an　official　　statement；〃　he　　continued　　in　　the　same

cautious　mutter。〃　　It　may　be　a　lie。　　But　there　was　somebody

arrested　between　midnight　and　one　in　the　morning　on　Tuesday。

This　is　certain。〃



And　talking　rapidly　under　the　cover　of　his　downcast　air；　he　told

Razumov　that　this　was　known　through　an　inferior　Government　clerk

employed　at　the　Central　Secretariat。　　That　man　belonged　to　one　of

the　revolutionary　circles。　　〃The　same；　in　fact；　I　am　affiliated

to；〃　remarked　the　student。



They　were　crossing　a　wide　quadrangle。　An　infinite　distress

possessed　Razumov；　annihilated　his　energy；　and　before　his　eyes

everything　appeared　confused　and　as　if　evanescent。　　He　dared　not

leave　the　fellow　there。　　〃He　may　be　affiliated　to　the　police；〃

was　the　thought　that　passed　through　his　mind。　　〃Who　could　tell？〃

But　eyeing　the　miserable　frost…nipped；　famine…struck　figure　of

his　companion　he　perceived　the　absurdity　of　his　suspicion。



〃But　Iyou　knowI　don't　belong　to　any　circle。　　I。　。　。〃



He　dared　not　say　any　more。　Neither　dared　he　mend　his　pace。　　The

other；　raising　and　setting　down　his　lamentably　shod　feet　with

exact　deliberation；　protested　in　a　low　tone　that　it　was　not

necessary　for　everybody　to　belong　to　an　organization。　　The　most

valuable　personalities　remained　outside。　　Some　of　the　best　work

was　done　outside　the　organization。　　Then　very　fast；　with　whispering；

feverish　lips



〃The　　man　arrested　in　the　street　was　Haldin。〃



And　accepting　Razumov's　dismayed　silence　as　natural　enough；　he

assured　him　that　there　was　no　mistake。　　That　Government　clerk　was

on　night　duty　at　the　Secretariat。　　Hearing　a　great　noise　of

footsteps　in　the　hall　and　aware　that　political　prisoners　were

brought　over　sometimes　at　night　from　the　fortress；　he　opened　the

door　of　the　room　in　which　he　was　working；　suddenly。　　Before　the

gendarme　on　duty　could　push　him　back　and　slam　the　door　in　his

face；　he　had　seen　a　prisoner　being　partly　carried；　partly　dragged

along　the　hall　by　a　lot　of　policemen。　　He　was　being　used　very

brutally。　　And　the　clerk　had　recognized　Haldin　perfectly。　　Less

than　half　an　hour　afterwards　General　T　　arrived　at　the

Secretariat　to　examine　that　prisoner　personally。



〃Aren't　you　astonished？〃　　concluded　the　gaunt　student。



〃No；〃　said　Razumov　roughlyand　at　once　regretted　his　answer。



〃Everybody　supposed　Haldin　was　in　the　provinces　with　his

people。　　Didn't　you？〃



The　student　turned　his　big　hollow　eyes　upon　Razumov；　who　said

unguardedly



〃His　people　are　abroad。〃



He　could　have　bitten　his　tongue　out　with　vexation。

The　student　pronounced　in　a　tone　of　profound　meaning

〃So！　　You　alone　were　aware。　。　。〃　and　stopped。



〃They　have　sworn　my　ruin；〃　thought　Razumov。〃　　Have　You　spoken　of

this　to　anyone　else？〃　he　asked　with　bitter　curiosity。



The　other　shook　his　head。



〃No；　only　to　you。　　Our　circle　thought　that　as　Haldin　had　been

often　heard　expressing　a　warm　appreciation　of　your　character。　。　。〃



Razumov　could　not　restrain　a　gesture　of　angry　despair　which　the

other　must　have　misunderstood　in　some　way；　because　he　ceased

speaking　and　turned　away　his　black；　lack…lustre　eyes。



They　moved　side　by　side　in　silence。　　Then　the　gaunt　student　began

to　whisper　again；　with　averted　gaze



〃As　we　have　at　present　no　one　affiliated　inside　the　fortress　so

as　to　make　it　possible　to　furnish　him　with　a　packet　of　poison；　we

have　considered　already　some　sort　of　retaliatory　actionto

follow　very　soon。　。　。〃



Razumov　trudging　on　interrupted



〃Were　you　acquainted　with　Haldin？　　Did　he　know　where　you　live？〃



〃I　had　the　happiness　to　hear　him　speak　twice；〃　his　companion

answered　in　the　feverish　whisper　contrasting　with　the　gloomy

apathy　of　his　face　and　bearing。　　〃He　did　not　know　where

I　live　。　。　。　。　　I　am　lodging　poorly　with　an　artisan　family。　。　。　。

I　have　just　a　corner　in　a　room。　　It　is　not　very　practicable　to

see　me　there；　but　if　you　should　need　me　for　anything　I　am　ready。　。　。　。



Razumov　trembled　with　rage　and　fear。　　He　was　beside　himself；

but　kept　his　voice　low。



〃You　are　not　to　come　near　me。　　You　are　not　to　speak　to　me。　　Never

address　a　single　word　to　me。　　I　forbid　you。〃



〃Very　well；〃　said　the　other　submissively；　showing　no　surprise

whatever　at　this　abrupt　prohibition。　　〃You　don't　wish　for　secret

reasons。　。　。perfectly。　。　。I　understand。〃



He　edged　away　at　once；　not　looking　up　even；　and　Razumov　saw　his

gaunt；　shabby；　famine…stricken　figure　cross　the　street　obliquely

with　lowered　head　and　that　peculiar　exact　motion　of　the　feet。



He　watched　him　as　one　would　watch　a　vision　out　of　a　nightmare；

then　he　continued　on　his　way；　trying　not　to　think。　　On　his

landing　the　landlady　seemed　to　be　waiting　for　him。　　She　was　a

short；　thick；　shapeless　woman　with　a　large　yellow　face　wrapped　up

everlastingly　in　a　black　woollen　shawl。　　When　she　saw　him　come　up

the　last　flight　of　stairs　she　flung　both　her　arms　up　excitedly；

then　clasped　her　hands　before　her　face。



〃Kirylo　Sidorovitchlittle　fatherwhat　have　you　been　doing？

And　such　a　quiet　young　man；　too！　　The　police　are　just　gone　this

moment　after　searching　your　rooms。〃



Razumov　gazed　down　at　her　with　silent；　scrutinizing　attention。

Her　puffy　yellow　countenance　was　working　with　emotion。　　She

screwed　up　her　eyes　at　him　entreatingly。



〃Such　a　sensible　young　man！　　Anybody　can　see　you　are　sensible。

And　nowlike　thisall　at　once。　。　。　。　　What　is　the　good　of　mixing

yourself　up　with　these　Nihilists？　　Do　give　over；　little　father。

They　are　unlucky　people。〃



Razumov　moved　his　shoulders　slightly。



〃Or　is　it　that　some　secret　enemy　has　been　calumniating　you；

Kirylo　Sidorovitch？　　The　world　is　full　of　black　hearts　and　false

denunciations　nowadays。　　There　is　much　fear　about。〃



〃Have　you　heard　that　I　have　been　denounced　by　some　one？〃

asked　Razumov；　without　taking　his　eyes　off　her　quivering　face。



But　she　had　not　heard　anything。　　She　had　tried　to　find　out　by

asking　the　police　captain　while　his　men　were　turning　the　room

upside　down。　　The　police　captain　of　the　district　had　known　her

for　the　last　eleven　years　and　was　a　humane　person。　　But　he　said

to　her　on　the　landing；　looking　very　black　and　vexed



〃My　good　woman；　do　not　ask　questions。　　I　don't　know　anything

myself。　The　order　comes　from　higher　quarters。〃



And　indeed　there　had　appeared；shortly　after　the　arrival　of　the

policemen　of　the　district；　a　very　superior　gentleman　in　a　fur

coat　and　a　shiny　hat；　who　sat　down　in　the　room　and　looked　through

all　the　papers　himself。　　He　came　alone　and　went　away　by　himself；

taking　nothing　with　him。　　She　had　been　trying　to　put　things

straight　a　little　since　they　left。



Razumov　turned　away　brusquely　and　entered　his　rooms。



All　his　books　had　been　shaken　and　thrown　on　the　floor。　　His

landlady　followed　him；　and　stooping　painfully　began　to　pick　them

up　into　her　apron。　　His　papers　and　notes　which　were　kept　always

neatly　sorted　（they　all　related　to　his　studies）　had　been　shuffled

up　and　heaped　together　into　a　ragged　pile　in　the　middle　of　the　table。



This　disorder　affectecI　him　profoundly；　unreasonably。　　He　sat

down　and　stared。　　He　had　a　distinct　sensation　of　his　very

existence　being　undermined　in　some　mysterious　manner；　of　his

moral　supports　falling　away　from　him　one　by　one。　　He　even

experienced　a　slight　physical　giddiness　and　made　a　movement

as　if　to　reach　for　something　to　steady　himself　with。



The　old　woman；　rising　to　her　feet　with　a　low　groan；　shot　all

the　books　she　had　collected　in　her　apron　on　to　the　sofa　and　left

the　room　muttering　and　sighing。



It　was　only　then　that　he　noticed　that　the　sheet　of　paper　which

for　one　night　had　remained　stabbed　to　the　wall　above　his　empty

bed　was　lying　on　top　of　the　pile。



When　he　had　taken　it　down　the　day　before　he　had　folded　it　in

four；　absent…mindedly；　before　dropping　it　on　the　table。　　And　now

he　saw　it　lying　uppermost；　spread　out；　smoothed　out　even　and

covering　all　the　confused　pile　of　pages；　the　record　of　his

intellectual　life　for　the　last　three　years。　　It　had　not　been

flung　there。　　　It　had　been　placed　theresmoothed　out；　too！　　He

guessed　in　that　an　intention　of　profound　meaningor　perhaps　some

inexplicable　mockery。



He　sat　staring　at　the　piece　of　paper　till　his　eyes　began　to

smart。　　He　did　not　attempt　to　put　his　papers　in　order；　either

that　evening　or　the　next　daywhich　he　spent　at　home　in　a　state

of　peculiar　irresolution。　　This　irresoIution　bore　upon　the

question　whether　he　should　continue　to　liveneither　more　nor

less。　　But　its　nature　was　very　far　removed　from　the　hesitation　of

a　man　contemplating　suicide。　　The　idea　of　laying　violent　hands

upon　his　body　did　not　occur　to　Razumov。　　The　unrelated　organism

bearing　that　label；　walking；　breathing；　wearing　these　clothes；

was　of　no　importance　to　anyone；　unless　maybe　to　the　landlady。

The　true　Razumov　had　his　being　in　the　willed；　in　the　determined

futurein　that　future　menaced　by　the　lawlessness　of

autocracyfor　autocracy　knows　no　lawand　the　lawlessness　of

revolution。　　The　feeling　that　his　moral　personality　was　at　the

mercy　of　these　lawless　forces　was　so　strong　that　he　asked　himself

seriously　if　it　were　worth　while　to　go　on　accomplishing　the　men

tal　functions　of　that　existence　which　seemed　no　longer　his　own。



〃What　is　the　good　of　ex