the hand of ethelberta-第26章

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of　my　position　now　is　that　I　excite　this　superficial　interest　in
many　people　and　a　deep　friendship　in　nobody。　　If　what　all　my
supporters　feel　could　be　collected　into　the　hearts　of　two　or　three
they　would　love　me　better　than　they　love　themselves；　but　now　it
pervades　all　and　operates　in　none。'

'But　it　must　operate　in　this　gentleman？'

'Well；　yesjust　for　the　present。　　But　men　in　town　have　so　many
contrivances　for　getting　out　of　love　that　you　can't　calculate　upon
keeping　them　in　for　two　days　together。　　However；　it　is　all　the　same
to　me。　　There's　onlybut　let　that　be。'

'What　is　there　only？'　said　Picotee　coaxingly。

'Only　one　man；'　murmured　Ethelberta；　in　much　lower　tones。　　'I　mean；
whose　wife　I　should　care　to　be；　and　the　very　qualities　I　like　in　him
will；　I　fear；　prevent　his　ever　being　in　a　position　to　ask　me。'

'Is　he　the　man　you　punished　the　week　before　last　by　forbidding　him
to　come？'

'Perhaps　he　is：　　but　he　does　not　want　civility　from　me。　　Where
there's　much　feeling　there's　little　ceremony。'

'It　certainly　seems　that　he　does　not　want　civility　from　you　to　make
him　attentive　to　you；'　said　Picotee；　stifling　a　sigh；　'for　here　is　a
letter　in　his　handwriting；　I　believe。'

'You　might　have　given　it　to　me　at　once；'　said　Ethelberta；　opening
the　envelope　hastily。　　It　contained　very　few　sentences：　　they　were
to　the　effect　that　Christopher　had　received　her　letter　forbidding
him　to　call；　that　he　had　therefore　at　first　resolved　not　to　call　or
even　see　her　more；　since　he　had　become　such　a　shadow　in　her　path。
Still；　as　it　was　always　best　to　do　nothing　hastily；　he　had　on　second
thoughts　decided　to　ask　her　to　grant　him　a　last　special　favour；　and
see　him　again　just　once；　for　a　few　minutes　only　that　afternoon；　in
which　he　might　at　least　say　Farewell。　　To　avoid　all　possibility　of
compromising　her　in　anybody's　eyes；　he　would　call　at　half…past　six；
when　other　callers　were　likely　to　be　gone；　knowing　that　from　the
peculiar　constitution　of　the　household　the　hour　would　not　interfere
with　her　arrangements。　　There　being　no　time　for　an　answer；　he　would
assume　that　she　would　see　him；　and　keep　the　engagement；　the　request
being　one　which　could　not　rationally　be　objected　to。

'Thereread　it！'　said　Ethelberta；　with　glad　displeasure。　　'Did　you
ever　hear　such　audacity？　　Fixing　a　time　so　soon　that　I　cannot　reply；
and　thus　making　capital　out　of　a　pretended　necessity；　when　it　is
really　an　arbitrary　arrangement　of　his　own。　　That's　real　rebellion
forcing　himself　into　my　house　when　I　said　strictly　he　was　not　to
come；　and　then；　that　it　cannot　rationally　be　objected　toI　don't
like　his　〃rationally。〃'

'Where　there's　much　love　there's　little　ceremony；　didn't　you　say
just　now？'　observed　innocent　Picotee。

'And　where　there's　little　love；　no　ceremony　at　all。　　These　manners
of　his　are　dreadful；　and　I　believe　he　will　never　improve。'

'It　makes　you　care　not　a　bit　about　him；　does　it　not；　Berta？'　said
Picotee　hopefully。

'I　don't　answer　for　that；'　said　Ethelberta。　　'I　feel；　as　many　others
do；　that　a　want　of　ceremony　which　is　produced　by　abstraction　of　mind
is　no　defect　in　a　poet　or　musician；　fatal　as　it　may　be　to　an
ordinary　man。'

'Mighty　me！　You　soon　forgive　him。'

'Picotee；　don't　you　be　so　quick　to　speak。　　Before　I　have　finished；
how　do　you　know　what　I　am　going　to　say？　　I'll　never　tell　you
anything　again；　if　you　take　me　up　so。　　Of　course　I　am　going　to
punish　him　at　once；　and　make　him　remember　that　I　am　a　lady；　even　if
I　do　like　him　a　little。'

'How　do　you　mean　to　punish　him？'　said　Picotee；　with　interest。

'By　writing　and　telling　him　that　on　no　account　is　he　to　come。'

'But　there　is　not　time　for　a　letter'

'That　doesn't　matter。　　It　will　show　him　that　I　did　not　MEAN　him　to
come。'

At　hearing　the　very　merciful　nature　of　the　punishment；　Picotee
sighed　without　replying；　and　Ethelberta　despatched　her　note。　　The
hour　of　appointment　drew　near；　and　Ethelberta　showed　symptoms　of
unrest。　　Six　o'clock　struck　and　passed。　　She　walked　here　and　there
for　nothing；　and　it　was　plain　that　a　dread　was　filling　her：　　her
letter　might　accidentally　have　had；　in　addition　to　the　moral　effect
which　she　had　intended；　the　practical　effect　which　she　did　not
intend；　by　arriving　before；　instead　of　after；　his　purposed　visit　to
her；　thereby　stopping　him　in　spite　of　all　her　care。

'How　long　are　letters　going　to　Bloomsbury？'　she　said　suddenly。

'Two　hours；　Joey　tells　me；'　replied　Picotee；　who　had　already
inquired　on　her　own　private　account。

'There！'　exclaimed　Ethelberta　petulantly。　　'How　I　dislike　a　man　to
misrepresent　things！　　He　said　there　was　not　time　for　a　reply！'

'Perhaps　he　didn't　know；'　said　Picotee；　in　angel　tones；　'and　so　it
happens　all　right；　and　he　has　got　it；　and　he　will　not　come　after
all。'

They　waited　and　waited；　but　Christopher　did　not　appear　that　night；
the　true　case　being　that　his　declaration　about　insufficient　time　for
a　reply　was　merely　an　ingenious　suggestion　to　her　not　to　be　so　cruel
as　to　forbid　him。　　He　was　far　from　suspecting　when　the　letter　of
denial　did　reach　himabout　an　hour　before　the　time　of　appointment
that　it　was　sent　by　a　refinement　of　art；　of　which　the　real　intention
was　futility；　and　that　but　for　his　own　misstatement　it　would　have
been　carefully　delayed。

The　next　day　another　letter　came　from　the　musician；　decidedly　short
and　to　the　point。　　The　irate　lover　stated　that　he　would　not　be　made
a　fool　of　any　longer：　　under　any　circumstances　he　meant　to　come　that
self…same　afternoon；　and　should　decidedly　expect　her　to　see　him。

'I　will　not　see　him！'　said　Ethelberta。　　'Why　did　he　not　call　last
night？'

'Because　you　told　him　not　to；'　said　Picotee。

'Good　gracious；　as　if　a　woman's　words　are　to　be　translated　as
literally　as　Homer！　　Surely　he　is　aware　that　more　often　than　not
〃No〃　is　said　to　a　man's　importunities　because　it　is　traditionally
the　correct　modest　reply；　and　for　nothing　else　in　the　world。　　If　all
men　took　words　as　superficially　as　he　does；　we　should　die　of　decorum
in　shoals。'

'Ah；　Berta！　how　could　you　write　a　letter　that　you　did　not　mean
should　be　obeyed？'

'I　did　in　a　measure　mean　it；　although　I　could　have　shown　Christian
forgiveness　if　it　had　not　been。　　Never　mind；　I　will　not　see　him。
I'll　plague　my　heart　for　the　credit　of　my　sex。'

To　ensure　the　fulfilment　of　this　resolve；　Ethelberta　determined　to
give　way　to　a　headache　that　she　was　beginning　to　be　aware　of；　go　to
her　room；　disorganize　her　dress；　and　ruin　her　hair　by　lying　down；　so
putting　it　out　of　her　power　to　descend　and　meet　Christopher　on　any
momentary　impulse。

Picotee　sat　in　the　room　with　her；　reading；　or　pretending　to　read；
and　Ethelberta　pretended　to　sleep。　　Christopher's　knock　came　up　the
stairs；　and　with　it　the　end　of　the　farce。

'I'll　tell　you　what；'　said　Ethelberta　in　the　prompt　and　broadly…
awake　tone　of　one　who　had　been　concentrated　on　the　expectation　of
that　sound　for　a　length　of　time；　'it　was　a　mistake　in　me　to　do　this！
Joey　will　be　sure　to　make　a　muddle　of　it。'

Joey　was　heard　coming　up　the　stairs。　　Picotee　opened　the　door；　and
said；　with　an　anxiety　transcending　Ethelberta's；　'Well？'

'O；　will　you　tell　Mrs。　Petherwin　that　Mr。　Julian　says　he'll　wait。'

'You　were　not　to　ask　him　to　wait；'　said　Ethelberta；　within。

'I　know　that；'　said　Joey；　'and　I　didn't。　　He's　doing　that　out　of　his
own　head。'

'Then　let　Mr。　Julian　wait；　by　all　means；'　said　Ethelberta。　　'Allow
him　to　wait　if　he　likes；　but　tell　him　it　is　uncertain　if　I　shall　be
able　to　come　down。'

Joey　then　retired；　and　the　two　sisters　remained　in　silence。

'I　wonder　if　he's　gone；'　Ethelberta　said；　at　the　end　of　a　long　time。

'I　thought　you　were　asleep；'　said　Picotee。　　'Shall　we　ask　Joey？　　I
have　not　heard　the　door　close。'

Joey　was　summoned；　and　after　a　leisurely　ascent；　interspersed　by
various　gymnastic　performances　over　the　handrail　here　and　there；
appeared　again。

'He's　there　jest　the　same：　　he　don't　seem　to　be　in　no　hurry　at　all；'
said　Joey。

'What　is　he　doing？'　inquired　Picotee　solicitously。

'O；　only　looking　at　his　watch　sometimes；　and　humming　tunes；　and
playing　rat…a…tat…tat　upon　the　table。　　He　says　he　don't　mind　waiting
a　bit。'

'You　must　have　made　a　mistake　in　the　message；'　said　Ethelberta；
within。

'Well；　no。　　I　am　correct　as　a　jineral　thing。　　I　jest　said　perhaps
you　would　be　engaged　all　the　evening；　and　perhaps　you　wouldn't。'

When　Joey　had　again　retired；　and　they　had　waited　another　ten
minutes；　Ethelberta　said；　'Picotee；　do　you　go　down　and　speak　a　few
words　to　him。　　I　am　determined　he　shall　not　see　me。　　You　know　him　a
little；　you　remember　when　he　came　to　the　Lodge？'

'What　must　I　say　to　him？'

Ethelberta　paused　before　replying。　　'Try　to　find　out　ifif　he　is
much　grieved　at　not　seeing　me；　and　saygive　him　to　understand　that
I　will　forgive　him；　Picotee。'

'Very　well。'

'And　Picotee'

'Yes。'

'If　he　says　he　MUST　see　meI　think　I　will　get　up。　　But　only　if　he
says　MUST：　　you　remember　that。'

Picotee　departed　on　her　errand。　　She　paused　on　the　staircase
trembling；　and　thinking　between　the　thrills　how　very　far　would　have
been　the　conduct　of　her　poor　slighted　self　from　proud　recalcitration
had　Mr。　Julian's　gentle　request　been　addressed　to　her　instead　of　to
Ethelberta；　and　she　went　some　way　in　the　painful　discovery　of　how
much　more　tantalizing　it　was　to　watch　an　envied　situation　that　was
held　by　another　than　to　be　out　of　sight　of　it　altogether。　　Here　was
Christopher　waiting　to　bestow　love；　and　Ethelberta　not　going　down　to
receive　it：　　a　commodity　unequalled　in　value　by　any　other　in　the
whole　wide　world　was　being　wantonly　wasted　within　that　very　house。
If　she　could　only　have　stood　to…night　as　the　beloved　Ethelberta；　and
not　as　the　despised　Picotee；　how　different　would　be　this　going　down！
Thus　she　went　along；　red　and　pale　moving　in　her　cheeks　as　in　the
Northern　Lights　at　their　strongest　time。

Meanwhile　Christopher　had　sat　waiting　minute　by　minute　till　the
evening　shades　grew　browner；　and　the　fire　sank　low。　　Joey；　finding
himself　not　particularly　wanted　upon　the　premises　after　the　second
inquiry；　had　slipped　out　to　witness　a　nigger　performance　round　the
corner；　and　Julian　began　to　think　himself　forgotten　by　all　the
household。　　The　perception　gradually　cooled　his　emotions　and　enabled
him　to　hold　his　hat　quite　steadily。

When　Picotee　gently　thrust　open　the　door　she　was　surprised　to　find
the　room　in　darkness；　the　fire　gone　completely　out；　and　the　form　of
Christopher　only　visible　by　a　faint　patch　of　light；　which；　coming
from　a　lamp　on　the　opposite　side　of　the　way　and　falling　upon　the
mirror；　was　thrown　as　a　pale　nebulosity　upon　his　shoulder。　　Picotee
was　too　flurried　at　sight　of　the　familiar　outline　to　know　what　to
do；　and；　instead　of　going　or　calling　for　a　light；　she　mechanically
advanced　into　the　room。　　Christopher　did　not　turn　or　move　in　any
way；　and　then　she　perceived　that　he　had　begun　to　doze　in　his　chair。

Instantly；　with　the　precipitancy　of　the　timorous；　she　said；　'Mr。
Julian！'　and　touched　him　on　the　shouldermurmuring　then；　'O；　I　beg
pardon；　II　will　get　a　light。'

Christopher's　consciousness　returned；　and　his　first　act；　before
rising；　was　to　exclaim；　in　a　confused　manner；　'Ahyou　have　come
thank　you；　Berta！'　then　impulsively　to　seiz