the cost-第18章

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shed　to　hear　on　the　subject　she　most　wished　to　hear　about。



XIV。

STRAINING　AT　THE　ANCHORS。


Gladys　was　now　twenty…four　and　was　even　more　anxious　to　marry　than　is　the　average　unmarried　person。　　She　had　been　eleven　years　a　wanderer；　she　was　tired　of　it。　　She　had　no　home；　and　she　wanted　a　home。

Her　aunther　mother's　widowed　sisterhad　taken　her　abroad　when　she　was　thirteen。　　John　was　able　to　defy　or　to　deceive　their　mother。　　But　she　could　and　did　enforce　upon　Gladys　the　rigid　rules　which　her　fanatical　nature　had　evolveda　minute　and　crushing　tyranny。　　Therefore　Gladys　preferred　any　place　to　her　home。　　For　ten　years　she　had　been　roaming　western　Europe；　nominally　watched　by　her　lazy；　selfish；　and　physically　and　mentally　near…sighted　aunt。　　Actually　her　only　guardian　had　been　her　own　precocious；　curiously　prudent；　curiously　reckless　self。　　She　had　been　free　to　do　as　she　pleased；　and　she　had　pleased　to　do　very　free　indeed。　　She　had　learned　all　that　her　intense　and　catholic　curiosity　craved　to　know；　had　learned　it　of　masters　of　her　own　selectingthe　men　and　women　who　would　naturally　attract　a　lively　young　person；　eager　to　rejoice　in　an　escape　from　slavery。　　Her　eyes　had　peered　far　into　the　human　heart；　farthest　into　the　corrupted　human　heart；　yet；　with　her　innocence　she　had　not　lost　her　honesty　or　her　preference　for　the　things　she　had　been　brought　up　to　think　clean。

But　she　had　at　last　wearied　of　a　novelty　which　lay　only　in　changes　of　scene　and　of　names；　without　any　important　change　in　characters　or　plot。　　She　began　to　be　bored　with　the　game　of　baffling　the　hopes　inspired　by　her　beauty　and　encouraged　by　her　seeming　simplicity。　　And　when　her　mother　cameas　she　said　to　Pauline；　〃The　only　bearable　view　of　mother　is　a　distant　view。　　I　had　forgot　there　were　such　people　left　on　earthI　had　thought　they'd　all　gone　to　their　own　kind　of　heaven。〃　　So　she　fled　to　America；　to　her　brother　and　his　wife。

Dumont　stayed　eight　days　at　the　Eyrie　on　that　trip；　then　went　back　to　his　congenial　life　in　New　Yorkto　his　business　and　his　dissipation。　　He　tempered　his　indulgence　in　both　nowadays　with　some　exercisehis　stomach；　his　heart；　his　nerves　and　his　doctor　had　together　given　him　a　bad　fright。　　The　evening　before　he　left　he　saw　Pauline　and　Gladys　sitting　apart　and　joined　them。

〃Why　not　invite　Scarborough　to　spend　a　week　up　here？〃　he　asked；　just　glancing　at　his　wife。　　He　never　ventured　to　look　at　her　when　there　was　any　danger　of　their　eyes　meeting。

Her　lips　tightened　and　the　color　swiftly　left　her　cheeks　and　swiftly　returned。

〃Wouldn't　you　like　it；　Gladys？〃　he　went　on。

〃Oh；　DO　ask　him；　Pauline；〃　said　Gladys；　with　enthusiasm。　　Like　her　brother；　she　always　went　straight　to　the　pointshe　was　in　the　habit　of　deciding　for　herself；　of　thinking　what　she　did　was　above　criticism；　and　of　not　especially　caring　if　it　was　criticised。　　〃Please　do！〃

Pauline　waited　longit　seemed　to　her　long　enough　for　time　to　wrinkle　her　heartbefore　answering：　　〃We'll　need　another　man。　　I'll　ask　himif　you　wish。〃

Gladys　pressed　her　hand　gratefullyshe　was　fond　of　Pauline；　and　Pauline　was　liking　her　again　as　she　had　when　they　were　children　and　playmates　and　partners　in　the　woes　of　John　Dumont's　raids　upon　their　games。　　Just　then　Langdon's　sister；　Mrs。　Barrow；　called　Gladys　to　the　other　end　of　the　drawing…room。　　Dumont's　glance　followed　her。

〃I　think　it'd　be　a　good　match；〃　he　said　reflectively。

Pauline's　heart　missed　a　beat　and　a　suffocating　choke　contracted　her　throat。

〃What？〃　she　succeeded　in　saying。

〃Gladys　and　Scarborough；〃　replied　Dumont。　〃She　ought　to　marryshe's　got　no　place　to　go。　　And　it'd　be　good　business　for　herand　for　him；　too；　for　that　matter；　if　she　could　land　him。　　Don't　you　think　she's　attractive　to　men？〃

〃Very；〃　said　Pauline；　lifelessly。

〃Don't　you　think　it　would　be　a　good　match？〃　he　went　on。

〃Very；〃　she　said；　looking　round　wildly；　as　her　breath　came　more　and　more　quickly。

Langdon　strolled　up。

〃Am　I　interrupting　a　family　council？〃　he　asked。

〃Oh；　no；〃　Dumont　replied；　rising。　　〃Take　my　chair。〃　　And　he　was　gone。

〃This　room　is　too　warm；〃　said　Pauline。　　〃No；　don't　open　the　window。　　Excuse　me　a　moment。〃　　She　went　into　the　hall；　threw　a　golf　cape　round　her　shoulders　and　stepped　out　on　the　veranda；　closing　the　door…window　behind　her。　　It　was　a　moonless；　winter　nightstars　thronging　the　blue…black　sky；　the　steady　lamp　of　a　planet　set　in　the　southern　horizon。

When　she　had　been　walking　there　for　a　quarter　of　an　hour　the　door…window　opened　and　Langdon　looked　out。　　〃Ohthere　you　are！〃　he　said。

〃Won't　you　join　me？〃　　Her　tone　assured　him　that　he　would　not　be　intruding。　　He　got　a　hat　and　overcoat　and　they　walked　up　and　down　together。

〃Those　stars　irritate　me；〃　he　said　after　a　while。　　〃They　make　me　appreciate　that　this　world's　a　tiny　grain　of　sand　adrift　in　infinity；　and　that　I'mthere's　nothing　little　enough　to　express　the　human　atom　where　the　earth's　only　a　grain。　　And　then　they　go　on　to　taunt　me　with　how　short…lived　I　am　and　how　it'll　soon　be　all　over　for　mefor　ever。　　A　futile　little　insect；　buzzing　about；　waiting　to　be　crushed　under　the　heel　of　the　Great　Executioner。〃

〃Sometimes　I　feel　that；〃　answered　Pauline。　　〃But　againoften；　as　a　childand　since；　when　everything　has　looked　dark　and　ugly　for　me；　I've　gone　where　I　could　see　them。　　And　they　seemed　to　draw　all　the　fever　and　the　fear　out　of　me；　and　to　put　there　instead　a　sort　ofnot　happiness；　not　even　content；　butcourage。〃

They　were　near　the　rail　now；　she　gazing　into　the　southern　sky；　he　studying　her　face。　　It　seemed　to　him　that　he　had　not　seen　any　one　so　beautiful。　　She　was　all　in　black　with　a　diamond　star　glittering　in　her　hair　high　above　her　forehead。　　She　looked　like　a　splendid　plume　dropped　from　the　starry　wing　of　night。

〃The　stars　make　you　feel　that　way；〃　he　said；　in　the　light　tone　that　disguises　a　compliment　as　a　bit　of　raillery；　〃because　you're　of　their　family。　　And　I　feel　as　I　do　because　I'm　a　blood…relation　of　the　earthworms。〃

Her　face　changed。　　〃Oh；　but　so　am　I！〃　she　exclaimed；　with　a　passion　he　had　never　seen　or　suspected　in　her　before。　　She　drew　a　long　breath；　closed　her　eyes　and　opened　them　very　wide。

〃You　don't　know；　you　can't　imagine；　how　I　long　to　LIVE！　　And　　KNOW　what　‘to　live'　means。〃

〃Then　why　don't　you？〃　he　askedhe　liked　to　catch　people　in　their　confidential　moods　and　to　peer　into　the　hidden　places　in　their　hearts；　not　impudently　but　with　a　sort　of　scientific　curiosity。

〃Because　I'm　a　daughterthat's　anchor　number　one。　　Because　I'm　a　motherthat's　anchor　number　two。　　Because　I'm　a　wifethat's　anchor　number　three。　　And　anchor　number　fourbecause　I'm　under　the　spell　of　inherited　instincts　that　rule　me　though　I　don't　in　the　least　believe　in　them。　　Tied；　hands　and　feet！〃

〃Inherited　instinct。〃　　He　shook　his　head　sadly。　　〃That's　the　skeleton　at　life's　banquet。　　It　takes　away　my　appetite。〃

She　laughed　without　mirth；　then　sighed　with　some　self…mockery。　　〃It　frightens　ME　away　from　the　table。〃



XV。

GRADUATED　PEARLS。


But　Scarborough　declined　her　invitation。　　However；　he　did　come　to　dinner　ten　days　later；　and　Gladys；　who　had　no　lack　of　confidence　in　her　power　to　charm　when　and　whom　she　chose；　was　elated　by　his　friendliness　then　and　when　she　met　him　at　other　houses。

〃He's　not　a　bit　sentimental；〃　she　told　Pauline；　whose　silence　whenever　she　tried　to　discuss　him　did　not　discourage　her。　　〃But　if　he　ever　does　care　for　a　woman　he'll　care　in　the　same　tremendous　way　that　he　sweeps　things　before　him　in　his　career。　　Don't　you　think　so？〃

〃Yes；〃　said　Pauline。

She　had　now　lingered　at　Saint　X　two　months　beyond　the　time　she　originally　set。　　She　told　herself　she　had　reached　the　limit　of　endurance；　that　she　must　fly　from　the　spectacle　of　Gladys'　growing　intimacy　with　Scarborough；　she　told　Gladys　it　was　impossible　for　her　longer　to　neglect　the　new　house　in　Fifth　Avenue。　　With　an　effort　she　added：　　〃You'd　rather　stay　on　here；　wouldn't　you？〃

〃I　detest　New　York；〃　replied　Gladys。　　〃And　I've　never　enjoyed　myself　in　my　whole　life　as　I'm　enjoying　it　here。〃

So　she　went　East　alone；　went　direct　to　Dawn　Hill；　their　country　place　at　Manhasset；　Long　Island；　which　Dumont　never　visited。　　She　invited　Leonora　Fanshaw　down　to　stand　between　her　thoughts　and　herself。　　Only　the　society　of　a　human　being；　one　who　was　light…hearted　and　amusing；　could　tide　her　back　to　any　sort　of　peace　in　the　old　lifeher　books　and　her　dogs；　her　horseback　and　her　drawing　and　her　gardening。　　A　life　so　full　of　events；　so　empty　of　event。　　It　left　her　hardly　time　for　proper　sleep；　yet　it　had　not　a　single　one　of　those　vivid　threads　of　intense　and　continuous　interestand　one　of　them　is　enough　to　make　bright　the　dullest　pattern　that　issues　from　the　Loom。

In　her　〃splendor〃　her　nearest　approach　to　an　intimacy　had　been　with　Leonora。

She　had　no　illusions　about　the　company　she　was　keeping　in　the　East。　　To　her　these　〃friends〃　seemed　in　no　proper　sense　either　her　friends　or　one　another's。　　Drawn　together　from　all　parts　of　America；　indeed　of　the　world；　by　the　magnetism　of　millions；　they　had　known　one　another　not　at　all　or　only　slightly　in　the　period　of　life　when　thorough　friendships　are　made；　even　where　they　had　been　associates　as　children；　the　association　had　rarely　been　of　the　kind　that　creates　friendship's　democratic　intimacy。　　They　had　no　common　traditions；　no　real　class…feeling；　no　common　enthusiasmsunless　the　passion　for　keeping　rich；　for　getting　richer；　for　enjoying　and　displaying　riches；　could　be　called　enthusiasm。　　They　were　mere　intimate　acquaintances；　making　small　pretense　of　friendship；　having　small　conception　of　it　or　desire　for　it　beyond　that　surface　politeness　which　enables　people　whose　selfish　interests　lie　in　the　same　direction　to　get　on　comfortably　together。

She　divided　them　into　two　classes。　　There　were　those　who；　like　herself；　kept　up　great　establishments　and　entertained　lavishly　and　engaged　in　the　courteous　but　fierce　rivalry　of　fashionable　ostentation。　　Then　there　were　those　who　hung　about　the　courts　of　the　rich；　invited　because　they　filled　in　the　large　backgrounds　and　contributed　conversation　or　ideas　for　new　amusements；　accepting　because　they　loved　the　atmosphere　of　luxury　which　they　could　not　afford　to　create　for　themselves。

Leonora　was　undeniably　in　the　latter　class。　　But　she　was　associated　in　Pauline's　mind　with　the　period　before　her　splendor。　　She　had　been　friendly　when　Dumont　was　unknown　beyond　Saint　X。　　The　others　sought　herwell；　for　the　same　reasons　of　desire　for　distraction　and　dread　of　boredom　which　made　her　welcome　them。　　But　Leonora；　she　more　than　half　believed；　liked　her　to　a　certain　extent　for　herself〃likes　me　better　than　I　like　her。〃　　And　at　times　she　was　self…reproachful　for　being　thus　exceeded　in　self…giving。　　Leonora；　for　example；　told　her　her　most　intimate　secrets；　some　of　them　far　from　creditable　to　her。　　Pauline　told　nothing　in　return。　　She　sometimes　longed　for　a　confidant；　or；　rather；　for　some　person　who　would　understand　without　being　told；　some　one　like　Olivia；　but　her　imagination　refused　to　picture　Leonora　as　that　kind　of　friend。　　Even　more　pronounced　than　her　frankness；　and　she　was　frank　to　her　own　hurt；　was　her　biting　cynicismit　was　undeniably　amusing；　it　did　not　exactly　inspire　distrust；　but　it　put　Pauline　vaguely　on　guard。　　Also；　she　was　candidly