the cost-第13章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


g　face　with　a　mouth　made　to　utter　impertinences　and　eyes　that　invited　them。

Mrs。　Fanshaw　was　speaking〃You're　very　tired；　aren't　you？〃

〃Very；〃　replied　Pauline；　with　a　struggle　to　smile。

〃What　a　child　you　look！　　It　seems　absurd　that　you　are　a　married　woman。　　Why；　you　haven't　your　full　growth　yet。〃　　And　on　an　impulse　of　intuitive　sympathy　Mrs。　Fanshaw　pressed　her　arm；　and　Pauline　was　suddenly　filled　with　gratitude；　and　liked　her　from　that　moment。

Alone　in　her　sitting…room　at　the　hotel；　she　went　up　to　the　mirror　over　the　mantel；　and；　staring　absently　at　herself；　put　her　hands　up　mechanically　to　take　out　her　hat…pins。　　〃No；　I'll　keep　my；　hat　on；〃　she　thought；　without　knowing　why。　　And　she　sat；　hat　and　wrap　on；　and　looked　at　a　book。　　Half　an　hour；　and　she　took　off　her　hat　and　wrap；　put　them　in　a　chair　near　where　she　was　sitting。　　The　watched　hands　of　the　clock　crawled　wearily　round　to　half…past　one；　to　two；　to　half…past　two；　to　threeeach　half…hour　an　interminable　stage。　　She　wandered　to　the　window　and　looked　down　into　empty　Fifth　Avenue。　　When　she　felt　that　at　least　an　hour　had　passed；　she　turned　to　look　at　the　clock　againtwenty…five　minutes　to　four。　　Her　eyes　were　heavy。

〃He　is　not　coming；〃　she　said　aloud；　and；　leaving　the　lights　on　in　the　sitting…room；　locked　herself　in　the　bedroom。

At　five　o'clock　she　started　up　and　seized　the　dressing…gown　on　the　chair　near　the　head　of　the　bed。　　She　listenedheard　him　muttering　in　the　sitting…room。　　She　knew　now　that　a　crash　of　some　kind　had　roused　her。　　Several　minutes　of　profound　silence；　then　through　the　door　came　a　steady；　heavy　snore。

The　dressing…gown　dropped　from　her　hand。　　She　slid　from　the　bed；　slowly　crossed　the　room；　softly　opened　the　door；　looked　into　the　sitting…room。　　A　table　and　a　chair　lay　upset　in　the　middle　of　the　floor。　　He　was　on　a　sofa；　sprawling；　disheveled；　snoring。

Slowly　she　advanced　toward　himshe　was　barefooted；　and　the　white　nightgown　clinging　to　her　slender　figure　and　the　long　braid　down　her　back　made　her　look　as　young　as　her　soulthe　soul　that　gazed　from　her　fixed；　fascinated　eyes；　the　soul　of　a　girl　of　eighteen；　full　as　much　child　as　woman　still。　　She　sat　down　before　him　in　a　low　chair；　her　elbows　on　her　knees；　her　chin　supported　by　her　hands；　her　eyes　never　leaving　his　swollen；　dark　red；　brutish　facea　cigar　stump；　much　chewed；　lay　upon　his　cheek　near　his　open　mouth。　　He　was　as　absurd　and　as　repulsive　as　a　gorged　pig　asleep　in　a　wallow。

The　dawn　burst　into　broad　day；　but　she　sat　on　motionless　until　the　clock　struck　the　half…hour　after　six。　　Then　she　returned　to　the　bedroom　and　locked　herself　in　again。

Toward　noon　she　dressed　and　went　into　the　sitting…room。　　He　was　gone　and　it　had　been　put　to　rights。　　When　he　came；　at　twenty　minutes　to　one；　she　was　standing　at　the　window；　but　she　did　not　turn。

〃Did　you　get　my　note？〃　he　asked；　in　a　carefully　careless　tone。　　He　went　on　to　answer　himself：　　〃No；　there　it　is　on　the　floor　just　where　I　put　it；　under　the　bedroom　door。　　No　matterit　was　only　to　say　I　had　to　go　out　but　would　be　back　to　lunch。　　Sorry　I　was　kept　so　late　last　night。　　Glad　you　didn't　wait　up　for　mebut　you　might　have　left　the　bedroom　door　openit'd　have　been　perfectly　safe。〃　　He　laughed　good…naturedly。　　〃As　it　was；　I　was　so　kind…hearted　that　I　didn't　disturb　you；　but　slept　on　the　sofa。〃

As　he　advanced　toward　her　with　the　obvious　intention　of　kissing　her；　she　slowly　turned　and　faced　him。　　Their　eyes　met　and　he　stopped　shorther　look　was　like　the　eternal　ice　that　guards　the　pole。

〃I　saw　you　at　the　theater　last　night；〃　she　said　evenly。　　〃And　this　morning；　I　sat　and　watched　you　as　you　lay　on　the　sofa　over　there。〃

He　was　taken　completely　off　his　guard。　　With　a　gasp　that　was　a　kind　of　groan　he　dropped　into　a　chair；　the　surface　of　his　mind　strewn　with　the　wreckage　of　the　lying　excuses　he　had　got　ready。

〃Please　don't　try　to　explain；〃　she　went　on　in　the　same　even　tone。　　〃I　understand　now　aboutabout　Paris　andeverything。　　I　know　thatfather　was　right。〃

He　gave　her　a　terrified　glanceno　tears；　no　trace　of　excitement；　only　calmness　and　all　the　strength　he　knew　was　in　her　nature　and；　in　addition；　a　strength　he　had　not　dreamed　was　there。

〃What　do　you　intend　to　do？〃　he　asked　after　a　long　silence。

She　did　not　answer　immediately。　　When　she　did；　she　was　not　looking　at　him。

〃When　I　married　youacross　the　river　from　Battle　Field；〃　she　said；　〃I　committed　a　crime　against　my　father　and　mother。　　This　ismy　punishmentthe　beginning　of　it。　　And　nowthere'll　be　thethebaby〃　　A　pause；　then：　　〃I　must　bear　the　consequencesif　I　can。　　But　I　shall　not　be　your　wifenevernever　again。　　If　you　wish　me　to　stay　on　that　condition；　I'll　try。　　If　not〃

〃You　MUST　stay；　Pauline；〃　he　interrupted。　　〃I　don't　care　what　terms　you　make；　you　must　stay。　　It's　no　use　for　me　to　try　to　defend　myself　when　you're　in　this　mood。　　You　wouldn't　listen。　　But　you're　right　about　not　going。　　If　you　did；　it'd　break　your　father's　and　mother's　hearts。　　I　admit　I　did　drink　too　much　last　night；　and　made　a　fool　of　myself。　　But　if　you　were　more　experienced；　you'd〃

He　thought　he　had　worked　his　courage　up　to　the　point　where　he　could　meet　her　eyes。　　He　tried　it。　　Her　look　froze　his　flow　of　words。　　〃I　KNOW　that　you　were　false　from　the　beginning；〃　she　said。

〃The　man　I　thought　you　were　never　existedand　I　know　it。　　We　won't　speak　of　thiseverafter　now。　　Surely　you　can't　wish　me　to　stay？〃　　And　into　her　voice　surged　all　her　longing　to　go；　all　her　hope　that　he　would　reject　the　only　terms　on　which　self…respect　would　let　her　stay。

〃Wish　you　to　stay？〃　he　repeated。　　And　he　faced　her；　looking　at　her；　his　chest　heaving　under　the　tempest　of　hate　and　passion　that　was　raging　in　himhate　because　she　was　defying　and　dictating　to　him；　passion　because　she　was　so　beautiful　as　she　stood　there；　like　a　delicate；　fine　hot…house　rose　poised　on　a　long；　graceful　stem。　　〃No　wonder　I　LOVE　you！〃　he　exclaimed　between　his　clenched　teeth。

A　bright　spot　burned　in　each　of　her　cheeks　and　her　look　made　him　redden　and　lower　his　eyes。

〃Now　that　I　understand　these　last　five　months；〃　she　said；　〃that　from　you　is　an　insult。〃

His　veins　and　muscles　swelled　with　the　fury　he　dared　not　show；　for　he　saw　and　felt　how　dangerous　her　mood　was。

〃I'll　agree　to　whatever　you　like；　Pauline；〃　he　said　humbly。　　〃Only；　we　mustn't　have　a　flare…up　and　a　scandal。　　I'll　never　speak　to　you　again　aboutabout　anything　you　don't　want　to　hear。〃

She　went　into　her　bedroom。　　When；　after　half　an　hour；　she　reappeared；　she　was　ready　to　go　down　to　lunch。　　In　the　elevator　he　stole　a　glance　at　herthere　was　no　color　in　her　face；　not　even　in　her　lips。　　His　rage　had　subsided；　he　was　ashamed　of　himselfbefore　her。　　But　he　felt　triumphant　too。

〃I　thought　she'd　go；　sure；　in　spite　of　her　fear　of　hurting　her　father　and　mother；〃　he　said　to　himself。　　〃A　mighty　close　squeak。　　I　was　stepping　round　in　a　powder　magazine；　with　every　word　a　lit　match。〃

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　In　January　she　sank　into　a　profound　lassitude。　　Nothing　interested　her；　everything　wearied　her。　　As　the　time　drew　near；　her　mother　came　to　stay　with　her；　and　day　after　day　the　two　women　sat　silent；　Mrs。　Gardiner　knitting；　Pauline　motionless；　hands　idle　in　her　lap；　mind　vacant。　　If　she　had　any　emotion；　it　was　a　hope　that　she　would　die　and　take　her　child　with　her。

〃That　would　settle　everything；　settle　it　right；〃　she　reflected；　with　youth's　morbid　fondness　for　finalities。

When　it　was　all　over　and　she　came　out　from　under　the　opiate；　she　lay　for　a　while；　open…eyed　but　unseeing；　too　inert　to　grope　for　the　lost　thread　of　memory。　　She　felt　a　stirring　in　the　bed　beside　her；　the　movement　of　some　living　thing。　　She　looked　and　there；　squeezed　into　the　edge　of　the　pillow　was　a　miniature　head　of　a　little　old　manwrinkled；　copperish。　　Yet　the　face　was　fatludicrously　fat。　　A　painfully　homely　face　with　tears　running　from　the　closed　eyes；　with　an　open　mouth　that　driveled　and　drooled。

〃What　is　it？〃　she　thought；　looking　with　faint　curiosity。　　〃And　why　is　it　here？〃

Two　small　fists　now　rose　aimlessly　in　the　air　above　the　face　and　flapped　about；　and　a　very　tempest　of　noise　issued　from　the　sagging　mouth。

〃A　baby；〃　she　reflected。　　Then　memory　came〃MY　baby！〃

She　put　her　finger　in　the　way　of　the　wandering　fists。　　First　one　of　them；　then　the　other；　awkwardly　unclosed　and　as　awkwardly　closed　upon　it。　　She　smiled。　　The　grip　tightened　and　tightened　and　tightened　until　she　wondered　how　hands　so　small　and　new　could　cling　so　close　and　hard。　　Then　that　electric　clasp　suddenly　tightened　about　her　heart。　　She　burst　into　tears　and　drew　the　child　against　her　breast。　　The　pulse　of　its　current　of　life　was　beating　against　her　ownand　she　felt　it。　　She　sobbed；　laughed　softly；　sobbed　again。

Her　mother　was　bending　anxiously　over　her。

〃What's　the　matter；　dearest？〃　she　asked。　　〃What　do　you　wish？〃

〃Nothing！〃　Pauline　was　smiling　through　her　tears。　　〃Oh；　mother；　I　am　SO　happy！〃　she　murmured。

And　her　happiness　lasted　with　not　a　break；　with　hardly　a　pause；　all　that　spring　and　all　that　summeror；　so　long　as　her　baby's　helplessness　absorbed　the　whole　of　her　time　and　thought。



XI。

YOUNG　AMERICA。


When　Pierson；　laggard　as　usual；　returned　to　Battle　Field　a　week　after　the　end　of　the　long　vacation；　he　found　Scarborough　just　establishing　himself。　　He　had　taken　two　small　and　severely　plain　rooms　in　a　quaint　old　frame　cottage；　one　story　high；　but　perched　importantly　upon　a　bank　at　the　intersection　of　two　much…traveled　streets。

〃What　luck？〃　asked　Pierson；　lounging　in　on　him。

〃A　hundred　days'　campaign；　a　thousand　dollars　net；〃　replied　the　book　agent。　　〃And　I'm　hard　as　oak　from　tramping　those　roads；　and　I've　learnedyou　ought　to　have　been　along；　Pierson。　　I　know　people　as　I　never　could　have　come　to　know　them　by　any　other　meanswhat　they　think；　what　they　want；　how　they　can　be　reached。〃

There　was　still　much　of　the　boy　in　Pierson's　face。　　But　Scarborough　looked　the　man；　developed；　ready。

Pierson　wandered　into　the　bedroom　to　complete　his　survey。　　〃I　see　you're　going　to　live　by　the　clock；〃　he　called　out　presently。　　He　had　found；　pasted　to　the　wall；　Scarborough's　schedule　of　the　daily　division　of　his　time；　just　above　it；　upon　a　shelf；　was　a　new　alarm　clock；　the　bell　so　big　that　it　overhung　like　a　canopy。　　〃You　don't　mean　you're　going　to　get　up　at　four？〃

〃Every　morningall　winter；〃　replied　Scarborough；　without　stopping　his　unpacking。　　〃You　see；　I'm　going　to　finish　this　yeartake　the　two　years　in　one。　　Then　I've　registered　in　a　law　officeJudge　Holcombe's。　　And　there's　my　speakingI　must　practise　that　every　day。〃

Pierson　came　back　to　the　sitting…room　and　collapsed　into　a　chair。　　〃I　see　you　allow　yourself　five　hours　for　sleep；〃　he　said。　　〃It's　too　much；　old　man。　　You're　self…indulgent。〃

〃That's　a　mistake；〃　replied　Scarborough。　〃Since　making　out　the　schedule　I've　decided　to　cut　sleep　down　to　four　hours　and　a　half。〃

〃That's　more　like　it！〃

〃We　all　sleep　too　much；〃　he　continued。　　〃And　as　I　shan't　smoke；　or　drink；　or　worry；　I'll　need　even　less　than　the　average　man。　　I'm　going　to　do　nothing　but　work。　　A　man　doesn't　need　much　rest　from　mere　work。〃

〃What！　　No　play？〃

〃Play　all　the　time。　　I've　simply　changed　my　playthings。〃

Pierson　seated　himself　at　the　table　and　stared　gloomily　at　his　friend。

〃Look　here；　old　man。　　For