sketches new and old-第20章

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and　greatly　resembled　it　in　all　particulars；　is　it　not　possible；　nay
certain；　that　this　last　is　the　Autumnal　Equi〃

〃　O…o…o！〃　　〃O…o…o！　go　to　bed！　go　to　bed！〃　with　annoyed　derision　from
everybody。　　So　the　poor　old　Woodlouse　retreated　out　of　sight；　consumed
with　shame。

Further　discussion　followed；　and　then　the　united　voice　of　the　commission
begged　Lord　Longlegs　to　speak。　　He　said：

〃Fellow…scientists；　it　is　my　belief　that　we　have　witnessed　a　thing　which
has　occurred　in　perfection　but　once　before　in　the　knowledge　of　created
beings。　　It　is　a　phenomenon　of　inconceivable　importance　and　interest；
view　it　as　one　may；　but　its　interest　to　us　is　vastly　heightened　by　an
added　knowledge　of　its　nature　which　no　scholar　has　heretofore　possessed
or　even　suspected。　　This　great　marvel　which　we　have　just　witnessed；
fellow…savants　（it　almost　takes　my　breath　away）；　is　nothing　less　than　the
transit　of　Venus！〃

Every　scholar　sprang　to　his　feet　pale　with　astonishment。　　Then　ensued
tears；　handshakings；　frenzied　embraces；　and　the　most　extravagant
jubilations　of　every　sort。　　But　by　and　by；　as　emotion　began　to　retire
within　bounds；　and　reflection　to　return　to　the　front；　the　accomplished
Chief　Inspector　Lizard　observed：

〃But　how　is　this？　　Venus　should　traverse　the　sun's　surface；　not　the
earth's。〃

The　arrow　went　home。　　It　earned　sorrow　to　the　breast　of　every　apostle　of
learning　there；　for　none　could　deny　that　this　was　a　formidable　criticism。
But　tranquilly　the　venerable　Duke　crossed　his　limbs　behind　his　ears　and
said：

〃My　friend　has　touched　the　marrow　of　our　mighty　discovery。　　Yesall　that
have　lived　before　us　thought　a　transit　of　Venus　consisted　of　a　flight
across　the　sun's　face；　they　thought　it；　they　maintained　it；　they　honestly
believed　it；　simple　hearts；　and　were　justified　in　it　by　the　limitations
of　their　knowledge；　but　to　us　has　been　granted　the　inestimable　boon　of
proving　that　the　transit　occurs　across　the　earth's　face；　for　we　have　SEEN
it！〃

The　assembled　wisdom　sat　in　speechless　adoration　of　this　imperial
intellect。　　All　doubts　had　instantly　departed；　like　night　before　the
lightning。

The　Tumble…Bug　had　just　intruded；　unnoticed。　　He　now　came　reeling　forward
among　the　scholars；　familiarly　slapping　first　one　and　then　another　on　the
shoulder；　saying　〃Nice　（'ic）　nice　old　boy！〃　and　smiling　a　smile　of
elaborate　content。　　Arrived　at　a　good　position　for　speaking；　he　put　his
left　arm　akimbo　with　his　knuckles　planted　in　his　hip　just　under　the　edge
of　his　cut…away　coat；　bent　his　right　leg；　placing　his　toe　on　the　ground
and　resting　his　heel　with　easy　grace　against　his　left　shin；　puffed　out
his　aldermanic　stomach；　opened　his　lips；　leaned　his　right　elbow　on
Inspector　Lizard's　shoulder；　and

But　the　shoulder　was　indignantly　withdrawn　and　the　hard…handed　son　of
toil　went　to　earth。　　He　floundered　a　bit；　but　came　up　smiling；　arranged
his　attitude　with　the　same　careful　detail　as　before；　only　choosing
Professor　Dogtick's　shoulder　for　a　support；　opened　his　lips　and

Went　to　earth　again。　　He　presently　scrambled　up　once　more；　still　smiling；
made　a　loose　effort　to　brush　the　dust　off　his　coat　and　legs；　but　a　smart
pass　of　his　hand　missed　entirely；　and　the　force　of　the　unchecked　impulse
stewed　him　suddenly　around；　twisted　his　legs　together；　and　projected　him；
limber　and　sprawling；　into　the　lap　of　the　Lord　Longlegs。　　Two　or　three
scholars　sprang　forward；　flung　the　low　creature　head　over　heels　into　a
corner；　and　reinstated　the　patrician；　smoothing　his　ruffled　dignity　with
many　soothing　and　regretful　speeches。　　Professor　Bull　Frog　roared　out：

〃No　more　of　this；　sirrah　Tumble…Bug！　　Say　your　say　and　then　get　you　about
your　business　with　speed！　　Quickwhat　is　your　errand？　　Come　move　off　a
trifle；　you　smell　like　a　stable；　what　have　you　been　at？〃

〃Please　（'ic！）　please　your　worship　I　chanced　to　light　upon　a　find。　　But
no　m（e…uck！）　matter　'bout　that。　　There's　b（'ic　！）　been　another　find
whichbeg　pardon；　your　honors；　what　was　that　th（'ic！）　thing　that　ripped
by　here　first？〃

〃It　was　the　Vernal　Equinox。〃

〃Inf（'ic！）fernal　equinox。　　'At's　all　right。　　D（'ic　！）　Dunno　him。　　What's
other　one？〃

〃The　transit　of　Venus。

〃G（'ic　！）　Got　me　again。　　No　matter。　　Las'　one　dropped　something。〃

〃Ah；　indeed！　　Good　luck！　　Good　news！　　Quick　what　is　it？〃

〃M（'ic！）　Mosey　out　'n'　see。　　It'll　pay。〃

No　more　votes　were　taken　for　four…and…twenty　hours。　　Then　the　following
entry　was　made：

〃The　commission　went　in　a　body　to　view　the　find。　　It　was　found　to　consist
of　a　hard；　smooth；　huge　object　with　a　rounded　summit　surmounted　by　a
short　upright　projection　resembling　a　section　of　a　cabbage　stalk　divided
transversely。　　This　projection　was　not　solid；　but　was　a　hollow　cylinder
plugged　with　a　soft　woody　substance　unknown　to　our　regionthat　is；　it
had　been　so　plugged；　but　unfortunately　this　obstruction　had　been
heedlessly　removed　by　Norway　Rat；　Chief　of　the　Sappers　and　Miners；　before
our　arrival。　　The　vast　object　before　us；　so　mysteriously　conveyed　from
the　glittering　domains　of　space；　was　found　to　be　hollow　and　nearly　filled
with　a　pungent　liquid　of　a　brownish　hue；　like　rainwater　that　has　stood
for　some　time。　　And　such　a　spectacle　as　met　our　view！　　Norway　Rat　was
perched　upon　the　summit　engaged　in　thrusting　his　tail　into　the
cylindrical　projection；　drawing　it　out　dripping；　permitting　the
struggling　multitude　of　laborers　to　suck　the　end　of　it；　then　straightway
reinserting　it　and　delivering　the　fluid　to　the　mob　as　before。　　Evidently
this　liquor　had　strangely　potent　qualities；　for　all　that　partook　of　it
were　immediately　exalted　with　great　and　pleasurable　emotions；　and　went
staggering　about　singing　ribald　songs；　embracing；　fighting；　dancing；
discharging　irruptions　of　profanity；　and　defying　all　authority。　　Around
us　struggled　a　massed　and　uncontrolled　mobuncontrolled　and　likewise
uncontrollable；　for　the　whole　army；　down　to　the　very　sentinels；　were　mad
like　the　rest；　by　reason　of　the　drink。　　We　were　seized　upon　by　these
reckless　creatures；　and　within　the　hour　we；　even　we；　were
undistinguishable　from　the　restthe　demoralization　was　complete　and
universal。　　In　time　the　camp　wore　itself　out　with　its　orgies　and　sank
into　a　stolid　and　pitiable　stupor；　in　whose　mysterious　bonds　rank　was
forgotten　and　strange　bedfellows　made；　our　eyes；　at　the　resurrection；
being　blasted　and　our　souls　petrified　with　the　incredible　spectacle　of
that　intolerable　stinking　scavenger；　the　Tumble…Bug；　and　the　illustrious
patrician　my　Lord　Grand　Daddy；　Duke　of　Longlegs；　lying　soundly　steeped　in
sleep；　and　clasped　lovingly　in　each　other's　arms；　the　like　whereof　hath
not　been　seen　in　all　the　ages　that　tradition　compasseth；　and　doubtless
none　shall　ever　in　this　world　find　faith　to　master　the　belief　of　it　save
only　we　that　have　beheld　the　damnable　and　unholy　vision。　　Thus
inscrutable　be　the　ways　of　God；　whose　will　be　done！

〃This　day；　by　order；　did　the　engineer…in…chief；　Herr　Spider；　rig　the
necessary　tackle　for　the　overturning　of　the　vast　reservoir；　and　so　its
calamitous　contents　were　discharged　in　a　torrent　upon　the　thirsty　earth；
which　drank　it　up；　and　now　there　is　no　more　danger；　we　reserving　but　a
few　drops　for　experiment　and　scrutiny；　and　to　exhibit　to　the　king　and
subsequently　preserve　among　the　wonders　of　the　museum。　　What　this　liquid
is　has　been　determined。　　It　is　without　question　that　fierce　and　most
destructive　fluid　called　lightning。　　It　was　wrested；　in　its　container；
from　its　storehouse　in　the　clouds；　by　the　resistless　might　of　the　flying
planet；　and　hurled　at　our　feet　as　she　sped　by。　　An　interesting　discovery
here　results。　　Which　is；　that　lightning；　kept　to　itself；　is　quiescent；　it
is　the　assaulting　contact　of　the　thunderbolt　that　releases　it　from
captivity；　ignites　its　awful　fires；　and　so　produces　an　instantaneous
combustion　and　explosion　which　spread　disaster　and　desolation　far　and
wide　in　the　earth。〃

After　another　day　devoted　to　rest　and　recovery；　the　expedition　proceeded
upon　its　way。　　Some　days　later　it　went　into　camp　in　a　pleasant　part　of
the　plain；　and　the　savants　sallied　forth　to　see　what　they　might　find。
Their　reward　was　at　hand。　　Professor　Bull　Frog　discovered　a　strange　tree；
and　called　his　comrades。　　They　inspected　it　with　profound　interest。　　It
was　very　tall　and　straight；　and　wholly　devoid　of　bark；　limbs；　or　foliage。
By　triangulation　Lord　Longlegs　determined　its　altitude；　Herr　Spider
measured　its　circumference　at　the　base　and　computed　the　circumference　at
its　top　by　a　mathematical　demonstration　based　upon　the　warrant　furnished
by　the　uniform　degree　of　its　taper　upward。　　It　was　considered　a　very
extraordinary　find；　and　since　it　was　a　tree　of　a　hitherto　unknown
species；　Professor　Woodlouse　gave　it　a　name　of　a　learned　sound；　being
none　other　than　that　of　Professor　Bull　Frog　translated　into　the　ancient
Mastodon　language；　for　it　had　always　been　the　custom　with　discoverers　to
perpetuate　their　names　and　honor　themselves　by　this　sort　of　connection
with　their　discoveries。

Now　Professor　Field…Mouse　having　placed　his　sensitive　ear　to　the　tree；
detected　a　rich；　harmonious　sound　issuing　from　it。　　This　surprising　thing
was　tested　and　enjoyed　by　each　scholar　in　turn；　and　great　was　the
gladness　and　astonishment　of　all。　　Professor　Woodlouse　was　requested　to
add　to　and　extend　the　tree's　name　so　as　to　make　it　suggest　the　musical
quality　it　possessedwhich　he　did；　furnishing　the　addition　Anthem
Singer；　done　into　the　Mastodon　tongue。

By　this　time　Professor　Snail　was　making　some　telescopic　inspections。
He　discovered　a　great　number　of　these　trees；　extending　in　a　single　rank；
with　wide　intervals　between；　as　far　as　his　instrument　would　carry；　both
southward　and　northward。　　He　also　presently　discovered　that　all　these
trees　were　bound　together；　near　their　tops；　by　fourteen　great　ropes；　one
above　another；　which　ropes　were　continuous；　from　tree　to　tree；　as　far　as
his　vision　could　reach。　　This　was　surprising。　　Chief　Engineer　Spider　ran
aloft　and　soon　reported　that　these　ropes　were　simply　a　web　hung　thereby
some　colossal　member　of　his　own　species；　for　he　could　see　its　prey
dangling　here　and　there　from　the　strands；　in　the　shape　of　mighty　shreds
and　rags　that　had　a　woven　look　about　their　texture　and　were　no　doubt　the
discarded　skins　of　prodigious　insects　which　had　been　caught　and　eaten。
And　then　he　ran　along　one　of　the　ropes　to　make　a　closer　inspection；　but
felt　a　smart　sudden　burn　on　the　soles　of　his　feet；　accompanied　by　a
paralyzing　shock；　wherefore　he　let　go　and　swung　himself　to　the　earth　by　a
thread　of　his　own　spinning；　and　advised　all　to　hurry　at　once　to　camp；
lest　the　monster　should　appear　and　get　as　much　interested　in　the　savants
as　they　were　in　him　and　his　works。　　So　they　departed　with　speed；　making
notes　about　the　gigantic　web　as　they　went。　　And　that　evening　the
naturalist　of　the　expedition　built　a　beautiful　model　of　the　colossal
spider；　having　no　need　to　see　it　in　order　to　do　this；　because　he　had
picked　up　a　fragment　of　its　vertebra　by　the　tree；　and　so　knew　exactly
what　the　creature　looked　like　and　what　its　habits　and　its　preferences
were　by　this　simple　evidence　alone。　　He　built　it　with　a　tail；　teeth；
fourteen　legs；　and　a　snout；　and　said　it　ate　grass；　cattle；　pebbles；　and
dirt　with