sketches new and old-第18章

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Pacific　coast；　so　strong　is　the　wild；　free　love　of　justice　in　the　hearts
of　the　people；　that　whenever　any　secret　and　mysterious　crime　is
committed；　they　say；　〃Let　justice　be　done；　though　the　heavens　fall；〃　and
go　straightway　and　swing　a　Chinaman。

It　was　in　this　way　that　he　found　out　that　by　studying　one　half　of　each
day's　〃local　items；〃　it　would　appear　that　the　police　of　San　Francisco
were　either　asleep　or　dead；　and　by　studying　the　other　half　it　would　seem
that　the　reporters　were　gone　mad　with　admiration　of　the　energy；　the
virtue；　the　high　effectiveness；　and　the　dare…devil　intrepidity　of　that
very　police…making　exultant　mention　of　how　〃the　Argus…eyed　officer　So…
and…so〃　captured　a　wretched　knave　of　a　Chinaman　who　was　stealing
chickens；　and　brought　him　gloriously　to　the　city　prison；　and　how　〃the
gallant　officer　Such…and…such…a…one〃　quietly　kept　an　eye　on　the　movements
of　an　〃unsuspecting；　almond…eyed　son　of　Confucius〃　（your　reporter　is
nothing　if　not　facetious）；　following　him　around　with　that　far…off　look。
of　vacancy　and　unconsciousness　always　so　finely　affected　by　that
inscrutable　being；　the　forty…dollar　policeman；　during　a　waking　interval；
and　captured　him　at　last　in　the　very　act　of　placing　his　hands　in　a
suspicious　manner　upon　a　paper　of　tacks；　left　by　the　owner　in　an　exposed
situation；　and　how　one　officer　performed　this　prodigious　thing；　and
another　officer　that；　and　another　the　otherand　pretty　much　every　one　of
these　performances　having　for　a　dazzling　central　incident　a　Chinaman
guilty　of　a　shilling's　worth　of　crime；　an　unfortunate；　whose　misdemeanor
must　be　hurrahed　into　something　enormous　in　order　to　keep　the　public　from
noticing　how　many　really　important　rascals　went　uncaptured　in　the　mean
time；　and　how　overrated　those　glorified　policemen　actually　are。

It　was　in　this　way　that　the　boy　found　out　that　the　legislature；　being
aware　that　the　Constitution　has　made　America；　an　asylum　for　the　poor　and
the　oppressed　of　all　nations；　and　that；　therefore；　the　poor　and　oppressed
who　fly　to　our　shelter　must　not　be　charged　a　disabling　admission　fee；
made　a　law　that　every　Chinaman；　upon　landing；　must　be　vaccinated　upon　the
wharf；　and　pay　to　the　state's　appointed　officer　ten　dollars　for　the
service；　when　there　are　plenty　of　doctors　in　San　Francisco　who　would　be
glad　enough　to　do　it　for　him　for　fifty　cents。

It　was　in　this　way　that　the　boy　found　out　that　a　Chinaman　had　no　rights
that　any　man　was　bound　to　respect；　that　he　had　no　sorrows　that　any　man
was　bound　to　pity；　that　neither　his　life　nor　his　liberty　was　worth　the
purchase　of　a　penny　when　a　white　man　needed　a　scapegoat；　that　nobody
loved　Chinamen；　nobody　befriended　them；　nobody　spared　them　suffering　when
it　was　convenient　to　inflict　it；　everybody；　individuals；　communities；　the
majesty　of　the　state　itself；　joined　in　hating；　abusing；　and　persecuting
these　humble　strangers。

And；　therefore；　what　could　have　been　more　natural　than　for　this　sunny…
hearted…boy；　tripping　along　to　Sunday…school；　with　his　mind　teeming　with
freshly　learned　incentives　to　high　and　virtuous　action；　to　say
to　himself：

〃Ah；　there　goes　a　Chinaman！　　God　will　not　love　me　if　I　do　not　stone　him。〃

And　for　this　he　was　arrested　and　put　in　the　city　jail。

Everything　conspired　to　teach　him　that　it　was　a　high　and　holy　thing　to
stone　a　Chinaman；　and　yet　he　no　sooner　attempts　to　do　his　duty　than　he　is
punished　for　ithe；　poor　chap；　who　has　been　aware　all　his　life　that　one
of　the　principal　recreations　of　the　police；　out　toward　the　Gold　Refinery；
is　to　look　on　with　tranquil　enjoyment　while　the　butchers　of　Brannan
Street　set　their　dogs　on　unoffending　Chinamen；　and　make　them　flee　for
their　lives。

＇I　have　many　such　memories　in　my　mind；　but　am　thinking　just　at　present
of　one　particular　one；　where　the　Brannan　Street　butchers　set　their　dogs
on　a　Chinaman　who　was　quietly　passing　with　a　basket　of　clothes　on　his
head；　and　while　the　dogs　mutilated　his　flesh；　a　butcher　increased　the
hilarity　of　the　occasion　by　knocking　some　of　the　Chinaman's　teeth　down
his　throat　with　half　a　brick。　　This　incident　sticks　in　my　memory　with　a
more　malevolent　tenacity；　perhaps；　on　account　of　the　fact　that　I　was　in
the　employ　of　a　San　Francisco　journal　at　the　time；　and　was　not　allowed　to
publish　it　because　it　might　offend　some　of　the　peculiar　element　that
subscribed　for　the　paper。＇

Keeping　in　mind　the　tuition　in　the　humanities　which　the　entire　〃Pacific
coast〃　gives　its　youth；　there　is　a　very　sublimity　of　incongruity　in　the
virtuous　flourish　with　which　the　good　city　fathers　of　San　Francisco
proclaim　（as　they　have　lately　done）　that　〃The　police　are　positively
ordered　to　arrest　all　boys；　of　every　description　and　wherever　found；　who
engage　in　assaulting　Chinamen。〃

Still；　let　us　be　truly　glad　they　have　made　the　order；　notwithstanding　its
inconsistency；　and　let　us　rest　perfectly　confident　the　police　are　glad；
too。　　Because　there　is　no　personal　peril　in　arresting　boys；　provided　they
be　of　the　small　kind；　and　the　reporters　will　have　to　laud　their
performances　just　as　loyally　as　ever；　or　go　without　items。

The　new　form　for　local　items　in　San　Francisco　will　now　be：　〃The　ever…
vigilant　and　efficient　officer　So…and…so　succeeded；　yesterday　afternoon；
in　arresting　Master　Tommy　Jones；　after　a　determined　resistance；〃　etc。；
etc。；　followed　by　the　customary　statistics　and　final　hurrah；　with　its
unconscious　sarcasm：　〃We　are　happy　in　being　able　to　state　that　this　is
the　forty…seventh　boy　arrested　by　this　gallant　officer　since　the　new
ordinance　went　into　effect。　　The　most　extraordinary　activity　prevails　in
the　police　department。　　Nothing　like　it　has　been　seen　since　we　can
remember。〃






THE　JUDGE'S　〃SPIRITED　WOMAN〃

〃I　was　sitting　here；〃　said　the　judge；　〃in　this　old　pulpit；　holding　court；
and　we　were　trying　a　big；　wicked…looking　Spanish　desperado　for　killing
the　husband　of　a　bright；　pretty　Mexican　woman。　It　was　a　lazy　summer　day；
and　an　awfully　long　one；　and　the　witnesses　were　tedious。　　None　of　us　took
any　interest　in　the　trial　except　that　nervous；　uneasy　devil　of　a　Mexican
woman　because　you　know　how　they　love　and　how　they　hate；　and　this　one　had
loved　her　husband　with　all　her　might；　and　now　she　had　boiled　it　all　down
into　hate；　and　stood　here　spitting　it　at　that　Spaniard　with　her　eyes；
and　I　tell　you　she　would　stir　me　up；　too；　with　a　little　of　her　summer
lightning；　occasionally。　　Well；　I　had　my　coat　off　and　my　heels　up；
lolling　and　sweating；　and　smoking　one　of　those　cabbage　cigars　the　San
Francisco　people　used　to　think　were　good　enough　for　us　in　those　times；
and　the　lawyers　they　all　had　their　coats　off；　and　were　smoking　and
whittling；　and　the　witnesses　the　same；　and　so　was　the　prisoner。　　Well；
the　fact　is；　there　warn't　any　interest　in　a　murder　trial　then；　because
the　fellow　was　always　brought　in　'not　guilty；'　the　jury　expecting　him　to
do　as　much　for　them　some　time；　and；　although　the　evidence　was　straight
and　square　against　this　Spaniard；　we　knew　we　could　not　convict　him
without　seeming　to　be　rather　high…handed　and　sort　of　reflecting　on　every
gentleman　in　the　community；　for　there　warn't　any　carriages　and　liveries
then；　and　so　the　only　'style'　there　was；　was　to　keep　your　private
graveyard。　　But　that　woman　seemed　to　have　her　heart　set　on　hanging　that
Spaniard；　and　you'd　ought　to　have　seen　how　she　would　glare　on　him　a
minute；　and　then　look　up　at　me　in　her　pleading　way；　and　then　turn　and　for
the　next　five　minutes　search　the　jury's　faces；　and　by　and　by　drop　her
face　in　her　hands　for　just　a　little　while　as　if　she　was　most　ready　to
give　up；　but　out　she'd　come　again　directly；　and　be　as　live　and　anxious　as
ever。　　But　when　the　jury　announced　the　verdictNot　Guiltyand　I　told
the　prisoner　he　was　acquitted　and　free　to　go；　that　woman　rose　up　till　she
appeared　to　be　as　tall　and　grand　as　a　seventy…four…gun　ship；　and　says
she：

〃'Judge；　do　I　understand　you　to　say　that　this　man　is　not　guilty　that
murdered　my　husband　without　any　cause　before　my　own　eyes　and　my　little
children's；　and　that　all　has　been　done　to　him　that　ever　justice　and　the
law　can　do？'

〃'The　same；'　says　I。

〃And　then　what　do　you　reckon　she　did？　　Why；　she　turned　on　that　smirking
Spanish　fool　like　a　wildcat；　and　out　with　a　'navy'　and　shot　him　dead　in
open　court！〃

〃That　was　spirited；　I　am　willing　to　admit。〃

〃Wasn't　it；　though？〃　said　the　judge　admiringly。

〃I　wouldn't　have　missed　it　for　anything。　　I　adjourned　court　right　on　the
spot；　and　we　put　on　our　coats　and　went　out　and　took　up　a　collection　for
her　and　her　cubs；　and　sent　them　over　the　mountains　to　their　friends。
Ah；　she　was　a　spirited　wench！〃






INFORMATION　WANTED

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　〃WASHINGTON；　December　10；　1867。

〃Could　you　give　me　any　information　respecting　such　islands；　if　any；　as
the　government　is　going　to　purchase？〃

It　is　an　uncle　of　mine　that　wants　to　know。　　He　is　an　industrious　man　and
well　disposed；　and　wants　to　make　a　living　in　an　honest；　humble　way；　but
more　especially　he　wants　to　be　quiet。　　He　wishes　to　settle　down；　and　be
quiet　and　unostentatious。　　He　has　been　to　the　new　island　St。　Thomas；　but
he　says　he　thinks　things　are　unsettled　there。　　He　went　there　early　with
an　attache　of　the　State　Department；　who　was　sent　down　with　money　to　pay
for　the　island。　　My　uncle　had　his　money　in　the　same　box；　and　so　when　they
went　ashore；　getting　a　receipt；　the　sailors　broke　open　the　box　and　took
all　the　money；　not　making　any　distinction　between　government　money；　which
was　legitimate　money　to　be　stolen；　and　my　uncle's；　which　was　his　own
private　property；　and　should　have　been　respected。　　But　he　came　home　and
got　some　more　and　went　back。　　And　then　he　took　the　fever。　　There　are
seven　kinds　of　fever　down　there；　you　know；　and；　as　his　blood　was　out　of
order　by　reason　of　loss　of　sleep　and　general　wear　and　tear　of　mind；　he
failed　to　cure　the　first　fever；　and　then　somehow　he　got　the　other　six。
He　is　not　a　kind　of　man　that　enjoys　fevers；　though　he　is　well　meaning　and
always　does　what　he　thinks　is　right；　and　so　he　was　a　good　deal　annoyed
when　it　appeared　he　was　going　to　die。

But　he　worried　through；　and　got　well　and　started　a　farm。　　He　fenced　it
in；　and　the　next　day　that　great　storm　came　on　and　washed　the　most　of　it
over　to　Gibraltar；　or　around　there　somewhere。　　He　only　said；　in　his
patient　way；　that　it　was　gone；　and　he　wouldn't　bother　about　trying　to
find　out　where　it　went　to；　though　it　was　his　opinion　it　went　to
Gibraltar。

Then　he　invested　in　a　mountain；　and　started　a　farm　up　there；　so　as　to　be
out　of　the　way　when　the　sea　came　ashore　again。　　It　was　a　good　mountain；
and　a　good　farm；　but　it　wasn't　any　use；　an　earthquake　came　the　next　night
and　shook　it　all　down。　　It　was　all　fragments；　you　know；　and　so　mixed　up
with　another　man's　property　that　he　could　not　tell　which　were　his
fragments　without　going　to　law；　and　he　would　not　do　that；　because　his
main　object　in　going　to　St。　Thomas　was　to　be　quiet。　　All　that　he　wanted
was　to　settle　down　and　be　quiet。

He　thought　it　all　over；　and　finally　he　concluded　to　try　the　low　ground
again；　especially　as　he　wanted　to　start　a　brickyard　this　time。　　He　bought
a　flat；　and　put　out　a　hundred　thousand　bricks　to　dry　preparatory　to
baking　them。　　But　luck　appeared　to　be　again