my discovery of england-第7章

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It　is　lamentable；　too；　that　at　the　very　same　moment　when　the　Irish　question　was　extinguished；　the　Naval　Question　which　had　lasted　for　nearly　fifty　years　was　absolutely　obliterated　by　disarmament。　Henceforth　the　alarm　of　invasion　is　a　thing　of　the　past　and　the　navy　practically　needless。　Beyond　keeping　a　fleet　in　the　North　Sea　and　one　on　the　Mediterranean；　and　maintaining　a　patrol　all　round　the　rim　of　the　Pacific　Ocean；　Britain　will　cease　to　be　a　naval　power。　　A　mere　annual　expenditure　of　fifty　million　pounds　sterling　will　suffice　for　such　thin　pretence　of　naval　preparedness　as　a　disarmed　nation　will　have　to　maintain。

This　thing　too；　came　as　a　surprise；　or　at　least　a　surprise　to　the　general　public　who　are　unaware　of　the　workings　of　diplomacy。　Those　who　know　about　such　things　were　fully　aware　of　what　would　happen　if　a　whole　lot　of　British　sailors　and　diplomatists　and　journalists　were　exposed　to　the　hospitalities　of　Washington。　The　British　and　Americans　are　both　alike。　You　can't　drive　them　or　lead　them　or　coerce　them；　but　if　you　give　them　a　cigar　they'll　do　anything。　　The　inner　history　of　the　conference　is　only　just　beginning　to　be　known。　But　it　is　whispered　that　immediately　on　his　arrival　Mr。　　Balfour　was　given　a　cigar　by　President　Harding。　Mr。　Balfour　at　once　offered　to　scrap　five　ships；　and　invited　the　entire　American　cabinet　into　the　British　Embassy；　where　Sir　A。　Geddes　was　rash　enough　to　offer　them　champagne。

The　American　delegates　immediately　offered　to　scrap　ten　ships。　Mr。　Balfour；　who　simply　cannot　be　outdone　in　international　courtesy；　saw　the　ten　and　raised　it　to　twenty。　President　Harding　saw　the　twenty；　raised　it　to　thirty；　and　sent　out　for　more　poker　chips。

At　the　close　of　the　play　Lord　Beatty；　who　is　urbanity　itself；　offered　to　scrap　Portsmouth　Dockyard；　and　asked　if　anybody　present　would　like　Canada。　President　Harding　replied　with　his　customary　tact　that　if　England　wanted　the　Philippines；　he　would　think　it　what　he　would　term　a　residuum　of　normalcy　to　give　them　away。　There　is　no　telling　what　might　have　happened　had　not　Mr。　Briand　interposed　to　say　that　any　transfer　of　the　Philippines　must　be　regarded　as　a　signal　for　a　twenty　per　cent　increase　in　the　Boy　Scouts　of　France。　As　a　tactful　conclusion　to　the　matter　President　Harding　raised　Mr。　Balfour　to　the　peerage。

As　things　are；　disarmament　coming　along　with　the　Irish　settlement；　leaves　English　politics　in　a　bad　way。　The　general　outlook　is　too　peaceful　altogether。　One　looks　round　almost　in　vain　for　any　of　those　〃strained　relations〃　which　used　to　be　the　very　basis　of　English　foreign　policy。　In　only　one　direction　do　I　see　light　for　English　politics；　and　that　is　over　towards　Czecho…Slovakia。　It　appears　that　Czecho…Slovakia　owes　the　British　Exchequer　fifty　million　sterling。　I　cannot　quote　the　exact　figure；　but　it　is　either　fifty　million　or　fifty　billion。　In　either　case　Czecho…Slovakia　is　unable　to　pay。　The　announcement　has　just　been　made　by　M。　Sgitzch；　the　new　treasurer；　that　the　country　is　bankrupt　or　at　least　that　he　sees　his　way　to　make　it　so　in　a　week。

It　has　been　at　once　reported　in　City　circles　that　there　are　〃strained　relations〃　between　Great　Britain　and　Czecho…Slovakia。　Now　what　I　advise　is；　that　if　the　relations　are　strained；　keep　them　so。　England　has　lost　nearly　all　the　strained　relations　she　ever　had；　let　her　cherish　the　few　that　she　still　has。　I　know　that　there　are　other　opinions。　The　suggestion　has　been　at　once　made　for　a　〃round　table　conference；〃　at　which　the　whole　thing　can　be　freely　discussed　without　formal　protocols　and　something　like　a　〃gentleman's　agreement〃　reached。　I　say；　don't　do　it。　England　is　being　ruined　by　these　round　table　conferences。　They　are　sitting　round　in　Cairo　and　Calcutta　and　Capetown；　filling　all　the　best　hotels　and　eating　out　the　substance　of　the　taxpayer。

I　am　told　that　Lloyd　George　has　offered　to　go　to　Czecho…Slovakia。　He　should　be　stopped。　It　is　said　that　Professor　Keynes　has　proved　that　the　best　way　to　deal　with　the　debt　of　Czecho…Slovakia　is　to　send　them　whatever　cash　we　have　left；　thereby　turning　the　exchange　upside　down　on　them；　and　forcing　them　to　buy　all　their　Christmas　presents　in　Manchester。

It　is　wiser　not　to　do　anything　of　the　sort。　England　should　send　them　a　good　old…fashioned　ultimatum；　mobilise　all　the　naval　officers　at　the　Embankment　hotels；　raise　the　income　tax　another　sixpence；　and　defy　them。

If　that　were　done　it　might　prove　a　successful　first　step　in　bringing　English　politics　back　to　the　high　plane　of　conversational　interest　from　which　they　are　threatening　to　fall。



V。　…　Oxford　as　I　See　It

MY　private　station　being　that　of　a　university　professor；　I　was　naturally　deeply　interested　in　the　system　of　education　in　England。　I　was　therefore　led　to　make　a　special　visit　to　Oxford　and　to　submit　the　place　to　a　searching　scrutiny。　Arriving　one　afternoon　at　four　o'clock；　I　stayed　at　the　Mitre　Hotel　and　did　not　leave　until　eleven　o'clock　next　morning。　The　whole　of　this　time；　except　for　one　hour　spent　in　addressing　the　undergraduates；　was　devoted　to　a　close　and　eager　study　of　the　great　university。　When　I　add　to　this　that　I　had　already　visited　Oxford　in　1907　and　spent　a　Sunday　at　All　Souls　with　Colonel　L。　S。　Amery；　it　will　be　seen　at　once　that　my　views　on　Oxford　are　based　upon　observations　extending　over　fourteen　years。

At　any　rate　I　can　at　least　claim　that　my　acquaintance　with　the　British　university　is　just　as　good　a　basis　for　reflection　and　judgment　as　that　of　the　numerous　English　critics　who　come　to　our　side　of　the　water。　I　have　known　a　famous　English　author　to　arrive　at　Harvard　University　in　the　morning；　have　lunch　with　President　Lowell；　and　then　write　a　whole　chapter　on　the　Excellence　of　Higher　Education　in　America。　I　have　known　another　one　come　to　Harvard；　have　lunch　with　President　Lowell；　and　do　an　entire　book　on　the　Decline　of　Serious　Study　in　America。　Or　take　the　case　of　my　own　university。　I　remember　Mr。　Rudyard　Kipling　coming　to　McGill　and　saying　in　his　address　to　the　undergraduates　at　2。30　P。M。；　〃You　have　here　a　great　institution。〃　But　how　could　he　have　gathered　this　information？　As　far　as　I　know　he　spent　the　entire　morning　with　Sir　Andrew　Macphail　in　his　house　beside　the　campus；　smoking　cigarettes。　When　I　add　that　he　distinctly　refused　to　visit　the　Palaeontologic　Museum；　that　he　saw　nothing　of　our　new　hydraulic　apparatus；　or　of　our　classes　in　Domestic　Science；　his　judgment　that　we　had　here　a　great　institution　seems　a　little　bit　superficial。　I　can　only　put　beside　it；　to　redeem　it　in　some　measure；　the　hasty　and　ill…formed　judgment　expressed　by　Lord　Milner；　〃McGill　　is　a　noble　university〃：　and　the　rash　and　indiscreet　expression　of　　the　Prince　of　Wales；　when　we　gave　him　an　LL。D。　degree；　〃McGill　has　　a　glorious　future。〃

To　my　mind　these　unthinking　judgments　about　our　great　college　do　harm；　and　I　determined；　therefore；　that　anything　that　I　said　about　Oxford　should　be　the　result　of　the　actual　observation　and　real　study　based　upon　a　bona　fide　residence　in　the　Mitre　Hotel。

On　the　strength　of　this　basis　of　experience　I　am　prepared　to　make　the　following　positive　and　emphatic　statements。　Oxford　is　a　noble　university。　It　has　a　great　past。　It　is　at　present　the　greatest　university　in　the　world：　and　it　is　quite　possible　that　it　has　a　great　future。　Oxford　trains　scholars　of　the　real　type　better　than　any　other　place　in　the　world。　Its　methods　are　antiquated。　It　despises　science。　Its　lectures　are　rotten。　It　has　professors　who　never　teach　and　students　who　never　learn。　It　has　no　order；　no　arrangement；　no　system。　Its　curriculum　is　unintelligible。　It　has　no　president。　It　has　no　state　legislature　to　tell　it　how　to　teach；　and　yet；it　gets　there。　Whether　we　like　it　or　not；　Oxford　gives　something　to　its　students；　a　life　and　a　mode　of　thought；　which　in　America　as　yet　we　can　emulate　but　not　equal。

If　anybody　doubts　this　let　him　go　and　take　a　room　at　the　Mitre　Hotel　（ten　and　six　for　a　wainscotted　bedroom；　period　of　Charles　I）　and　study　the　place　for　himself。

These　singular　results　achieved　at　Oxford　are　all　the　more　surprising　when　one　considers　the　distressing　conditions　under　which　the　students　work。　The　lack　of　an　adequate　building　fund　compels　them　to　go　on　working　in　the　same　old　buildings　which　they　have　had　for　centuries。　The　buildings　at　Brasenose　College　have　not　been　renewed　since　the　year　1525。　In　New　College　and　Magdalen　the　students　are　still　housed　in　the　old　buildings　erected　in　the　sixteenth　century。　At　Christ　Church　I　was　shown　a　kitchen　which　had　been　built　at　the　expense　of　Cardinal　Wolsey　in　1527。　Incredible　though　it　may　seem；　they　have　no　other　place　to　cook　in　than　this　and　are　compelled　to　use　it　to…day。　On　the　day　when　I　saw　this　kitchen；　four　cooks　were　busy　roasting　an　ox　whole　for　the　students'　lunch：　this　at　least　is　what　I　presumed　they　were　doing　from　the　size　of　the　fire…place　used；　but　it　may　not　have　been　an　ox；　perhaps　it　was　a　cow。　On　a　huge　table；　twelve　feet　by　six　and　made　of　slabs　of　wood　five　inches　thick；　two　other　cooks　were　rolling　out　a　game　pie。　I　estimated　it　as　measuring　three　feet　across。　In　this　rude　way；　unchanged　since　the　time　of　Henry　VIII；　the　unhappy　Oxford　students　are　fed。　I　could　not　help　contrasting　it　with　the　cosy　little　boarding　houses　on　Cottage　Grove　Avenue　where　I　used　to　eat　when　I　was　a　student　at　Chicago；　or　the　charming　little　basement　dining…rooms　of　the　students'　boarding　houses　in　Toronto。　But　then；　of　course；　Henry　VIII　never　lived　in　Toronto。

The　same　lack　of　a　building…fund　necessitates　the　Oxford　students；　living　in　the　identical　old　boarding　houses　they　had　in　the　sixteenth　and　seventeenth　centuries。　Technically　they　are　called　〃quadrangles；〃　〃closes〃　and　〃rooms〃；　but　I　am　so　broken　in　to　the　usage　of　my　student　days　that　I　can't　help　calling　them　boarding　houses。　In　many　of　these　the　old　stairway　has　been　worn　down　by　the　feet　of　ten　generations　of　students：　the　windows　have　little　latticed　panes：　there　are　old　names　carved　here　and　there　upon　the　stone；　and　a　thick　growth　of　ivy　covers　the　walls。　The　boarding　house　at　St。　John's　College　dates　from　1509；　the　one　at　Christ　Church　from　the　same　period。　A　few　hundred　thousand　pounds　would　suffice　to　replace　these　old　buildings　with　neat　steel　and　brick　structures　like　the　normal　school　at　Schenectady；　N。Y。；　or　the　Peel　Street　High　School　at　Montreal。　But　nothing　is　done。　A　movement　was　indeed　attempted　last　autumn　towards　removing　the　ivy　from　the　walls；　but　the　result　was　unsatisfactory　and　they　are　putting　it　back。　Any　one　could　have　told　them　beforehand　that　the　mere　removal　of　the　ivy　would　not　brighten　Oxford　up；　unless　at　the　same　time　one　cleared　the　stones　of　the　old　inscriptions；　put　in　steel　fire…escapes；　and　in　fact　brought　the　boarding　houses　up　to　date。

But　Henry　VIII　being　dead；　nothing　was　done。　Yet　in　spite　of　its　dilapidated　buildings　and　its　lack　of　fire…escapes；　ventilation；　sanitation；　and　up…to…date　kitchen　facilities；　I　persist　in　my　assertion　that　I　believe　that　Oxford；　in　its　way；　is　the　greatest　university　in　the　world。　I　am　aware　that　this　is　an　extreme　statement　and　needs　explanation。　Oxford　is　much　smaller　in　numbers；　for　example；　than　the　State　University　of　Minnesota；　and　is　much　poorer。　It　has；　or　had　till　yesterday；　fewer　students　than　the　University　of　Toronto。　To