the titan-第45章
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re is always safety in numbers； and she felt that if Cowperwood were going to go on like this it would not be possible for him in the long run to take a definite interest in any one； and so； all things considered； and other things being equal； he would probably just as leave remain married to her as not。
But what a comment； she could not help reflecting； on her own charms！ What an end to an ideal union that had seemed destined to last all their days！ She； Aileen Butler； who in her youth had deemed herself the peer of any girl in charm； force； beauty； to be shoved aside thus early in her lifeshe was only fortyby the younger generation。 And such silly snips as they wereStephanie Platow！ and Cecily Haguenin！ and Florence Cochrane； in all likelihood another pasty…faced beginner！ And here she wasvigorous； resplendent； smooth of face and body； her forehead； chin； neck； eyes without a wrinkle； her hair a rich golden reddish glow； her step springing； her weight no more than one hundred and fifty pounds for her very normal height； with all the advantages of a complete toilet cabinet； jewels； clothing； taste； and skill in material selectionbeing elbowed out by these upstarts。 It was almost unbelievable。 It was so unfair。 Life was so cruel； Cowperwood so temperamentally unbalanced。 Dear God！ to think that this should be true！ Why should he not love her？ She studied her beauty in the mirror from time to time； and raged and raged。 Why was her body not sufficient for him？ Why should he deem any one more beautiful？ Why should he not be true to his reiterated protestations that he cared for her？ Other men were true to other women。 Her father had been faithful to her mother。 At the thought of her own father and his opinion of her conduct she winced； but it did not change her point of view as to her present rights。 See her hair！ See her eyes！ See her smooth； resplendent arms！ Why should Cowperwood not love her？ Why； indeed？
One night； shortly afterward； she was sitting in her boudoir reading； waiting for him to come home； when the telephone…bell sounded and he informed her that he was compelled to remain at the office late。 Afterward he said he might be obliged to run on to Pittsburg for thirty…six hours or thereabouts； but he would surely be back on the third day； counting the present as one。 Aileen was chagrined。 Her voice showed it。 They had been scheduled to go to dinner with the Hoecksemas； and afterward to the theater。 Cowperwood suggested that she should go alone； but Aileen declined rather sharply； she hung up the receiver without even the pretense of a good…by。 And then at ten o'clock he telephoned again； saying that he had changed his mind； and that if she were interested to go anywherea later supper； or the likeshe should dress； otherwise he would come home expecting to remain。
Aileen immediately concluded that some scheme he had had to amuse himself had fallen through。 Having spoiled her evening； he was coming home to make as much hay as possible out of this bit of sunshine。 This infuriated her。 The whole business of uncertainty in the matter of his affections was telling on her nerves。 A storm was in order； and it had come。 He came bustling in a little later； slipped his arms around her as she came forward and kissed her on the mouth。 He smoothed her arms in a make…believe and yet tender way； and patted her shoulders。 Seeing her frown； he inquired； 〃What's troubling Babykins？〃
〃Oh； nothing more than usual；〃 replied Aileen； irritably。 〃Let's not talk about that。 Have you had your dinner？〃
〃Yes； we had it brought in。〃 He was referring to McKenty； Addison； and himself； and the statement was true。 Being in an honest position for once； he felt called upon to justify himself a little。 〃It couldn't be avoided to…night。 I'm sorry that this business takes up so much of my time； but I'll get out of it some day soon。 Things are bound to ease up。〃
Aileen withdrew from his embrace and went to her dressing…table。 A glance showed her that her hair was slightly awry； and she smoothed it into place。 She looked at her chin； and then went back to her bookrather sulkily； he thought。
〃Now； Aileen； what's the trouble？〃 he inquired。 〃Aren't you glad to have me up here？ I know you have had a pretty rough road of it of late； but aren't you willing to let bygones be bygones and trust to the future a little？〃
〃The future！ The future！ Don't talk to me about the future。 It's little enough it holds in store for me；〃 she replied。
Cowperwood saw that she was verging on an emotional storm； but he trusted to his powers of persuasion； and her basic affection for him； to soothe and quell her。
〃I wish you wouldn't act this way； pet；〃 he went on。 〃You know I have always cared for you。 You know I always shall。 I'll admit that there are a lot of little things which interfere with my being at home as much as I would like at present； but that doesn't alter the fact that my feeling is the same。 I should think you could see that。〃
〃Feeling！ Feeling！〃 taunted Aileen； suddenly。 〃Yes； I know how much feeling you have。 You have feeling enough to give other women sets of jade and jewels； and to run around with every silly little snip you meet。 You needn't come home here at ten o'clock； when you can't go anywhere else； and talk about feeling for me。 I know how much feeling you have。 Pshaw！〃
She flung herself irritably back in her chair and opened her book。 Cowperwood gazed at her solemnly； for this thrust in regard to Stephanie was a revelation。 This woman business could grow peculiarly exasperating at times。
〃What do you mean； anyhow？〃 he observed； cautiously and with much seeming candor。 〃I haven't given any jade or jewels to any one； nor have I been running around with any 'little snips；' as you call them。 I don't know what you are talking about； Aileen。〃
〃Oh； Frank；〃 commented Aileen； wearily and incredulously； 〃you lie so！ Why do you stand there and lie？ I'm so tired of it； I'm so sick of it all。 How should the servants know of so many things to talk of here if they weren't true？ I didn't invite Mrs。 Platow to come and ask me why you had given her daughter a set of jade。 I know why you lie； you want to hush me up and keep quiet。 You're afraid I'll go to Mr。 Haguenin or Mr。 Cochrane or Mr。 Platow； or to all three。 Well； you can rest your soul on that score。 I won't。 I'm sick of you and your lies。 Stephanie Platowthe thin stick！ Cecily Hagueninthe little piece of gum！ And Florence Cochraneshe looks like a dead fish！〃 （Aileen had a genius for characterization at times。） 〃If it just weren't for the way I acted toward my family in Philadelphia； and the talk it would create； and the injury it would do you financially； I'd act to…morrow。 I'd leave youthat's what I'd do。 And to think that I should ever have believed that you really loved me； or could care for any woman permanently。 Bosh！ But I don't care。 Go on！ Only I'll tell you one thing。 You needn't think I'm going to go on enduring all this as I have in the past。 I'm not。 You're not going to deceive me always。 I'm not going to stand it。 I'm not so old yet。 There are plenty of men who will be glad to pay me attention if you won't。 I told you once that I wouldn't be faithful to you if you weren't to me； and I won't be。 I'll show you。 I'll go with other men。 I will！ I will！ I swear it。〃
〃Aileen；〃 he asked； softly； pleadingly； realizing the futility of additional lies under such circumstances； 〃won't you forgive me this time？ Bear with me for the present。 I scarcely understand myself at times。 I am not like other men。 You and I have run together a long time now。 Why not wait awhile？ Give me a chance！ See if I do not change。 I may。〃
〃Oh yes； wait！ Change。 You may change。 Haven't I waited？ Haven't I walked the floor night after night！ when you haven't been here？ Bear with youyes； yes！ Who's to bear with me when my heart is breaking？ Oh； God！〃 she suddenly added； with passionate vigor； 〃I'm miserable！ I'm miserable！ My heart aches！ It aches！〃
She clutched her breast and swung from the room； moving with that vigorous stride that had once appealed to him so； and still did。 Alas； alas！ it touched him now； but only as a part of a very shifty and cruel world。 He hurried out of the room after her； and （as at the time of the Rita Sohlberg incident） slipped his arm about her waist； but she pulled away irritably。 〃No； no！〃 she exclaimed。 〃Let me alone。 I'm tired of that。〃
〃You're really not fair to me； Aileen；〃 with a great show of feeling and sincerity。 〃You're letting one affair that came between us blind your whole point of view。 I give you my word I haven't been unfaithful to you with Stephanie Platow or any other woman。 I may have flirted with them a little； but that is really nothing。 Why not be sensible？ I'm not as black as you paint me。 I'm moving in big matters that are as much for your concern and future as for mine。 Be sensible； be liberal。〃
There was much argumentthe usual charges and counterchargesbut； finally； because of her weariness of heart； his petting； the unsolvability of it all； she permitted him for the time being to persuade her that there were still some crumbs of affection left。 She was soul…sick； heartsick。 Even he； as he attempted to soothe her； realized clearly that to establish the reality of his love in her belief he would have to make some much greater effort to entertain and comfort her； and that this； in his present mood； and with his leaning toward promiscuity； was practically impossible。 For the time being a peace might be patched up； but in view of what she expected of himher passion and selfish individuality it could not be。 He would have to go on； and she would have to leave him； if needs be； but he could not cease or go back。 He was too passionate； too radiant； too individual and complex to belong to any one single individual alone。
Chapter XXX
Obstacles
The impediments that can arise to baffle a great and swelling career are strange and various。 In some instances all the cross…waves of life must be cut by the strong swimmer。 With other personalities there is a chance； or force； that happily allies itself with them； or they quite unconsciously ally themselves with it； and find that there is a tide that bears them on。 Divine will？ Not necessarily。 There is no understanding of it。 Guardian spirits？ There are many who so believe； to their utter undoing。 （Witness Macbeth）。 An unconscious drift in the direction of right； virtue； duty？ These are banners of mortal manufacture。 Nothing is proved； all is permitted。
Not long after Cowperwood's accession to control on the West Side； for instance； a contest took place between his corporation and a citizen by the name of Redmond Purdyreal…estate investor； property…trader； and money…lenderwhich set Chicago by the ears。 The La Salle and Washington Street tunnels were now in active service； but because of the great north and south area of the West Side； necessitating the cabling of Van Buren Street and Blue Island Avenue； there was need of a third tunnel somewhere south of Washington Street； preferably at Van Buren Street； because the business heart was thus more directly reached。 Cowperwood was willing and anxious to build
