short stories and essays-第5章

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in　their　native　places；　might　have　some　notion　of　how　bountifully　the
world　is　equipped　with　beauty；　and　how　it　is　governed　by　many　laws　which
are　not　enforced　by　policemen。　　I　think　that　would　interest　them　very
much；　and　I　shall　not　mind　their　plucking　my　Barmecide　blossoms；　and
carrying　them　home　by　the　armfuls。　　When　good…will　costs　nothing　we　ought
to　practise　it　even　with　the　tramps；　and　these　are　very　welcome；　in　their
wanderings　over　the　city　pave；　to　rest　their　weary　limbs　in　any　of　my
pleached　bowers　they　come　to。






A　CIRCUS　IN　THE　SUBURBS

We　dwellers　in　cities　and　large　towns；　if　we　are　well…to…do；　have　more
than　our　fill　of　pleasures　of　all　kinds；　and　for　now　many　years　past　we
have　been　used　to　a　form　of　circus　where　surfeit　is　nearly　as　great
misery　as　famine　in　that　kind　could　be。　　For　our　sins；　or　some　of　our
friends'　sins；　perhaps；　we　have　now　gone　so　long　to　circuses　of　three
rings　and　two　raised…platforms　that　we　scarcely　realize　that　in　the
country　there　are　still　circuses　of　one　ring　and　no　platform　at　all。
We　are　accustomed；　in　the　gross　and　foolish…superfluity　of　these　city
circuses；　to　see　no　feat　quite　through；　but　to　turn　our　greedy　eyes　at
the　most　important　instant　in　the　hope　of　greater　wonders　in　another
ring。　　We　have　four　or　five　clowns；　in　as　many　varieties　of　grotesque
costume；　as　well　as　a　lady　clown　in　befitting　dress；　but　we　hear　none　of
them　speak；　not　even　the　lady　clown；　while　in　the　country　circus　the　old
clown　of　our　childhood；　one　and　indivisible；　makes　the　same　style　of
jokes；　if　not　the　very　same　jokes；　that　we　used　to　hear　there。　　It　is　not
easy　to　believe　all　this；　and　I　do　not　know　that　I　should　quite　believe
it　myself　if　I　had　not　lately　been　witness　of　it　in　the　suburban　village
where　I　was　passing　the　summer。




I。

The　circus　announced　itself　in　the　good　old　way　weeks　beforehand　by　the
vast　posters　of　former　days　and　by　a　profusion　of　small　bills　which　fell
upon　the　village　as　from　the　clouds；　and　left　it　littered　everywhere　with
their　festive　pink。　　They　prophesied　it　in　a　name　borne　by　the　first
circus　I　ever　saw；　which　was　also　an　animal　show；　but　the　animals　must
all　have　died　during　the　fifty　years　past；　for　there　is　now　no　menagerie
attached　to　it。　　I　did　not　know　this　when　I　heard　the　band　braying
through　the　streets　of　the　village　on　the　morning　of　the　performance；
and　for　me　the　mangy　old　camels　and　the　pimpled　elephants　of　yore　led　the
procession　through　accompanying　ranks　of　boys　who　have　mostly　been　in
their　graves　for　half　a　lifetime；　the　distracted　ostrich　thrust　an
advertising　neck　through　the　top　of　its　cage；　and　the　lion　roared　to
himself　in　the　darkness　of　his　moving　prison。　　I　felt　the　old　thrill　of
excitement；　the　vain　hope　of　something　preternatural　and　impossible；　and
I　do　not　know　what　could　have　kept　me　from　that　circus　as　soon　as　I　had
done　lunch。　　My　heart　rose　at　sight　of　the　large　tent　（which　was　yet　so
very　little　in　comparison　with　the　tents　of　the　three…ring　and　two…
platform　circuses）；　the　alluring　and　illusory　sideshows　of　fat　women　and
lean　men；　the　horses　tethered　in　the　background　and　stamping　under　the
fly…bites；　the　old；　weather…beaten　grand　chariot；　which　looked　like　the
ghost　of　the　grand　chariot　which　used　to　drag　me　captive　in　its　triumph；
and　the　canvas　shelters　where　the　cooks　were　already　at　work　over　their
kettles　on　the　evening　meal　of　the　circus　folk。

I　expected　to　be　kept　a　long　while　from　the　ticket…wagon　by　the　crowd；
but　there　was　no　crowd；　and　perhaps　there　never　used　to　be　much　of　a
crowd。　　I　bought　my　admittances　without　a　moment's　delay；　and　the　man　who
sold　me　my　reserve　seats　had　even　leisure　to　call　me　back　and　ask　to　look
at　the　change　he　had　given　me；　mostly　nickels。　　〃I　thought　I　didn't　give
you　enough；〃　he　said；　and　he　added　one　more；　and　sent　me　on　to　the
doorkeeper　with　my　faith　in　human　nature　confirmed　and　refreshed。
It　was　cool　enough　outside；　but　within　it　was　very　warm；　as　it　should　be；
to　give　the　men　with　palm…leaf　fans　and　ice…cold　lemonade　a　chance。　　They
were　already　making　their　rounds；　and　crying　their　wares　with　voices　from
the　tombs　of　the　dead　past；　and　the　child　of　the　young　mother　who　took　my
seat…ticket　from　me　was　going　to　sleep　at　full　length　on　the　lowermost
tread　of　the　benches；　so　that　I　had　to　step　across　its　prostrate　form。
These　reserved　seats　were　carpeted；　but　I　had　forgotten　how　little　one
rank　was　raised　above　another；　and　how　very　trying　they　were　upon　the
back　and　legs。　　But　for　the　carpeting；　I　could　not　see　how　I　was
advantaged　above　the　commoner　folk　in　the　unreserved　seats；　and　I
reflected　how　often　in　this　world　we　paid　for　an　inappreciable　splendor。
I　could　not　see　but　they　were　as　well　off　as　I；　they　were　much　more　gayly
dressed；　and　some　of　them　were　even　smoking　cigars；　while　they　were
nearly　all　younger　by　ten；　twenty；　forty；　or　fifty　years；　and　even　more。
They　did　not　look　like　the　country　people　whom　I　rather　hoped　and
expected　to　see；　but　were　apparently　my　fellow…villagers；　in　different
stages　of　excitement。　　They　manifested　by　the　usual　signs　their
impatience　to　have　the　performance　begin；　and　I　confess　that　I　shared
this；　though　I　did　not　take　part　in　the　demonstration。




II。

I　have　no　intention　of　following　the　events　seriatim。　　Front　time　to　time
during　their　progress　I　renewed　my　old　one…sided　acquaintance　with　the
circus…men。　　They　were　quite　the　same　people；　I　believe；　but　strangely
softened　and　ameliorated；　as　I　hope　I　am；　and　looking　not　a　day　older；
which　I　cannot　say　of　myself；　exactly。　　The　supernumeraries　were　patently
farmer　boys　who　had　entered　newly　upon　that　life　in　a　spirit　of
adventure；　and　who　wore　their　partial　liveries；　a　braided　coat　here　and　a
pair　of　striped　trousers　there；　with　a　sort　of　timorous　pride；　a
deprecating　bravado；　as　if　they　expected　to　be　hooted　by　the　spectators
and　were　very　glad　when　they　were　not。　　The　man　who　went　round　with　a　dog
to　keep　boys　from　hooking　in　under　the　curtain　had　grown　gentler；　and　his
dog　did　not　look　as　if　he　would　bite　the　worst　boy　in　town。　　The　man　came
up　and　asked　the　young　mother　about　her　sleeping　child；　and　I　inferred
that　the　child　had　been　sick；　and　was　therefore　unusually　interesting　to
all　the　great；　kind…hearted；　simple　circus　family。　　He　was　good　to　the
poor　supes；　and　instructed　them；　not　at　all　sneeringly；　how　best　to
manage　the　guy　ropes　for　the　nets　when　the　trapeze　events　began。

There　was；　in　fact；　an　air　of　pleasing　domesticity　diffused　over　the
whole　circus。　　This　was；　perhaps；　partly　an　effect　from　our　extreme
proximity　to　its　performances；　I　had　never　been　on　quite　such　intimate
terms　with　equitation　and　aerostation　of　all　kinds；　but　I　think　it　was
also　largely　from　the　good　hearts　of　the　whole　company。　　A　circus　must
become；　during　the　season；　a　great　brotherhood　and　sisterhood；　especially
sisterhood；　and　its　members　must　forget　finally　that　they　are　not　united
by　ties　of　blood。　　I　dare　say　they　often　become　so；　as　husbands　and　wives
and　fathers　and　mothers；　if　not　as　brothers。

The　domestic　effect　was　heightened　almost　poignantly　when　a　young　lady　in
a　Turkish…towel　bath…gown　came　out　and　stood　close　by　the　band；　waiting
for　her　act　on　a　barebacked　horse　of　a　conventional　pattern。　　She　really
looked　like　a　young　goddess　in　a　Turkish…towel　bath…gown：　goddesses　must
have　worn　bath…gowns；　especially　Venus；　who　was　often　imagined　in　the
bath；　or　just　out　of　it。　　But　when　this　goddess　threw　off　her　bath…gown；
and　came　bounding　into　the　ring　as　gracefully　as　the　clogs　she　wore　on
her　slippers　would　let　her；　she　was　much　more　modestly　dressed　than　most
goddesses。　　What　I　am　trying　to　say；　however；　is　that；　while　she　stood
there　by　the　band；　she　no　more　interested　the　musicians　than　if　she　were
their　collective　sister。　　They　were　all　in　their　shirt…sleeves　for　the
sake　of　the　coolness；　and　they　banged　and　trumpeted　and　fluted　away　as
indifferent　to　her　as　so　many　born　brothers。

Indeed；　when　the　gyrations　of　her　horse　brought　her　to　our　side　of　the
ring；　she　was　visibly　not　so　youthful　and　not　so　divine　as　she　might　have
been；　but　the　girl　who　did　the　trapeze　acts；　and　did　them　wonderfully；
left　nothing　to　be　desired　in　that　regard；　though　really　I　do　not　see　why
we　who　have　neither　youth　nor　beauty　should　always　expect　it　of　other
people。　　I　think　it　would　have　been　quite　enough　for　her　to　do　the
trapeze　acts　so　perfectly；　but　her　being　so　pretty　certainly　added　a
poignancy　to　the　contemplation　of　her　perils。　　One　could　follow　every
motion　of　her　anxiety　in　that　close　proximity：　the　tremor　of　her　chin　as
she　bit　her　lips　before　taking　her　flight　through　the　air；　the　straining
eagerness　of　her　eye　as　she　measured　the　distance；　the　frown　with　which
she　forbade　herself　any　shrinking　or　reluctance。




III。

How　strange　is　life；　how　sad　and　perplexing　its　contradictions！　　Why
should　such　an　exhibition　as　that　be　supposed　to　give　pleasure？　　Perhaps
it　does　not　give　pleasure；　but　is　only　a　necessary　fulfilment　of　one　of
the　many　delusions　we　are　in　with　regard　to　each　other　in　this
bewildering　world。　　They　are　of　all　sorts　and　degrees；　these　delusions；
and　I　suppose　that　in　the　last　analysis　it　was　not　pleasure　I　got　from
the　clown　and　his　clowning；　clowned　he　ever　so　merrily。　　I　remember　that
I　liked　hearing　his　old　jokes；　not　because　they　were　jokes；　but　because
they　were　old　and　endeared　by　long　association。　　He　sang　one　song　which　I
must　have　heard　him　sing　at　my　first　circus　（I　am　sure　it　was　he）；　about
〃Things　that　I　don't　like　to　see；〃　and　I　heartily　agreed　with　him　that
his　book　of　songs；　which　he　sent　round　to　be　sold；　was　fully　worth　the
half…dime　asked　for　it；　though　I　did　not　buy　it。

Perhaps　the　rival　author　in　me　withheld　me；　but；　as　a　brother　man；　I　will
not　allow　that　I　did　not　feel　for　him　and　suffer　with　him　because　of　the
thick；　white　pigment　which　plentifully　coated　his　face；　and；　with　the
sweat　drops　upon　it；　made　me　think　of　a　newly　painted　wall　in　the　rain。
He　was　infinitely　older　than　his　personality；　than　his　oldest　joke
（though　you　never　can　be　sure　how　old　a　joke　is）；　and；　representatively；
I　dare　say　he　outdated　the　pyramids。　　They　must　have　made　clowns　whiten
their　faces　in　the　dawn　of　time；　and　no　doubt　there　were　drolls　among　the
antediluvians　who　enhanced　the　effect　of　their　fun　by　that　means。　　All
the　same；　I　pitied　this　clown　for　it；　and　I　fancied　in　his　wildest
waggery　the　note　of　a　real　irascibility。　　Shall　I　say　that　he　seemed　the
only　member　of　that　little　circus　who　was　not　of　an　amiable　temper？　　But
I　do　not　blame　him；　and　I　think　it　much　to　have　seen　a　clown　once　more
who　jested　audibly　with　the　ringmaster　and　always　got　the　better　of　him
in　repartee。　　It　was　long　since　I　had　known　that　pleasure。




IV。

Throughout　the　performance　at　this　circus　I　was　troubled　by　a　curious
question；　whether　it　were　really　of　the　same　moral　and　material　grandeur
as　the　circuses　it　brought　to　memory；　or　whether　these　were　thin　and
slight；　too。　　We　all　know　how　the　places　of　our　childhood；　the　heights；
the　distances；　shrink　and　dwindle　when　we　go　back　to　them；　and　was　it
possible　that　I