short stories and essays-第18章

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between　the　roses　and　syringas　of　their　grassy　door…yards；　which　were　as
neat　and　prim　as　their　own　persons；　or　the　best　chamber　in　their　white…
walled；　green…shuttered；　story…and…a…half　house；　and　as　perfectly　kept　as
the　very　kitchen　itself。

The　trolley…line　had　been　opened　only　since　the　last　September；　but　in　an
effect　of　familiar　use　it　was　as　if　it　had　always　been　there；　and　it
climbed　and　crooked　and　clambered　about　with　the　easy　freedom　of　the
country　road　which　it　followed。　　It　is　a　land　of　low　hills；　broken　by
frequent　reaches　of　the　sea；　and　it　is　most　amusing；　most　amazing；　to　see
how　frankly　the　trolley…car　takes　and　overcomes　its　difficulties。　　It
scrambles　up　and　down　the　little　steeps　like　a　cat；　and　whisks　round　a
sharp　and　sudden　curve　with　a　feline　screech；　broadening　into　a　loud
caterwaul　as　it　darts　over　the　estuaries　on　its　trestles。　　Its　course
does　not　lack　excitement；　and　I　suppose　it　does　not　lack　danger；　but　as
yet　there　have　been　no　accidents；　and　it　is　not　so　disfiguring　as　one
would　think。　　The　landscape　has　already　accepted　it；　and　is　making　the
best　of　it；　and　to　the　country　people　it　is　an　inestimable　convenience。
It　passes　everybody's　front　door　or　back　door；　and　the　farmers　can　get
themselves　or　their　produce　（for　it　runs　an　express　car）　into　Portsmouth
in　an　hour；　twice　an　hour；　all　day　long。　　In　summer　the　cars　are　open；
with　transverse　seats；　and　stout　curtains　that　quite　shut　out　a　squall　of
wind　or　rain。　　In　winter　the　cars　are　closed；　and　heated　by　electricity。
The　young　motorman　whom　I　spoke　with；　while　we　waited　on　a　siding　to　let
a　car　from　the　opposite　direction　get　by；　told　me　that　he　was　caught　out
in　a　blizzard　last　Winter；　and　passed　the　night　in　a　snowdrift。　　〃But　the
cah　was　so　wa'm；　I　neva　suff'ed　a　mite。〃

〃Well；〃　I　summarized；　〃it　must　be　a　great　advantage　to　all　the　people
along　the　line。〃

〃Well；　you　wouldn't　'a'　thought　so；　from　the　kick　they　made。〃

〃I　suppose　the　cottagers〃the　summer　colony〃didn't　like　the　noise。〃

〃Oh　yes；　that's　what　I　mean。　　The's　whe'　the　kick　was。　　The　natives　like
it。　　I　guess　the　summa　folks　'll　like　it；　too。〃

He　looked　round　at　me　with　enjoyment　of　his　joke　in　his　eye；　for　we　both
understood　that　the　summer　folks　could　not　help　themselves；　and　must　bow
to　the　will　of　the　majority。






THE　ART　OF　THE　ADSMITH

The　other　day；　a　friend　of　mine；　who　professes　all　the　intimacy　of　a　bad
conscience　with　many　of　my　thoughts　and　convictions；　came　in　with　a　bulky
book　under　his　arm；　and　said；　〃I　see　by　a　guilty　look　in　your　eye　that
you　are　meaning　to　write　about　spring。〃

〃I　am　not；〃　I　retorted；　〃and　if　I　were；　it　would　be　because　none　of　the
new　things　have　been　said　yet　about　spring；　and　because　spring　is　never
an　old　story；　any　more　than　youth　or　love。〃

〃I　have　heard　something　like　that　before；〃　said　my　friend；　〃and　I
understand。　　The　simple　truth　of　the　matter　is　that　this　is　the　fag…end
of　the　season；　and　you　have　run　low　in　your　subjects。　　Now　take　my　advice
and　don't　write　about　spring；　it　will　make　everybody　hate　you；　and　will
do　no　good。　　Write　about　advertising。〃　　He　tapped　the　book　under　his　arm
significantly。　　〃Here　is　a　theme　for　you。〃




I。

He　had　no　sooner　pronounced　these　words　than　I　began　to　feel　a　weird　and
potent　fascination　in　his　suggestion。　　I　took　the　book　from　him　and
looked　it　eagerly　through。　　It　was　called　Good　Advertising；　and　it　was
written　by　one　of　the　experts　in　the　business　who　have　advanced　it　almost
to　the　grade　of　an　art；　or　a　humanity。

〃But　I　see　nothing　here；〃　I　said；　musingly；　〃which　would　enable　a　self…
respecting　author　to　come　to　the　help　of　his　publisher　in　giving　due　hold
upon　the　public　interest　those　charming　characteristics　of　his　book　which
no　one　else　can　feel　so　penetratingly　or　celebrate　so　persuasively。〃

〃I　expected　some　such　objection　from　you；〃　said　my　friend。　　〃You　will
admit　that　there　is　everything　else　here？〃

〃Everything　but　that　most　essential　thing。　　You　know　how　we　all　feel
about　it：　the　bitter　disappointment；　the　heart…sickening　sense　of
insufficiency　that　the　advertised　praises　of　our　books　give　us　poor
authors。　　The　effect　is　far　worse　than　that　of　the　reviews；　for　the
reviewer　is　not　your　ally　and　copartner；　while　your　publisher〃

〃I　see　what　you　mean；〃　said　my　friend。　　〃But　you　must　have　patience。
If　the　author　of　this　book　can　write　so　luminously　of　advertising　in
other　respects；　I　am　sure　he　will　yet　be　able　to　cast　a　satisfactory
light　upon　your　problem。　　The　question　is；　I　believe；　how　to　translate
into　irresistible　terms　all　that　fond　and　exultant　regard　which　a　writer
feels　for　his　book；　all　his　pervasive　appreciation　of　its　singular
beauty；　unique　value；　and　utter　charm；　and　transfer　it　to　print；　without
infringing　upon　the　delicate　and　shrinking　modesty　which　is　the
distinguishing　ornament　of　the　literary　spirit？〃

〃Something　like　that。　　But　you　understand。〃

〃Perhaps　a　Roentgen　ray　might　be　got　to　do　it；〃　said　my　friend；
thoughtfully；　〃or　perhaps　this　author　may　bring　his　mind　to　bear　upon　it
yet。　　He　seems　to　have　considered　every　kind　of　advertising　except　book…
advertising。〃

〃The　most　important　of　all！〃　I　cried；　impatiently。

〃You　think　so　because　you　are　in　that　line。　　If　you　were　in　the　line　of
varnish；　or　bicycles；　or　soap；　or　typewriters；　or　extract　of　beef；　or　of
malt〃

〃Still　I　should　be　interested　in　bookadvertising；　because　it　is　the
most　vital　of　human　interests。〃

〃Tell　me；〃　said　my　friend；　〃do　you　read　the　advertisements　of　the　books
of　rival　authors？〃

〃Brother　authors；〃　I　corrected　him。

〃Well；　brother　authors。〃

I　said；　No；　candidly；　I　did　not；　and　I　forbore　to　add　that　I　thought　them
little　better　than　a　waste　of　the　publishers'　money。




II。

My　friend　did　not　pursue　his　inquiry　to　my　personal　disadvantage；　but
seemed　to　prefer　a　more　general　philosophy　of　the　matter。

〃I　have　often　wondered；〃　he　said；　〃at　the　enormous　expansion　of
advertising；　and　doubted　whether　it　was　not　mostly　wasted。　　But　my
author；　here；　has　suggested　a　brilliant　fact　which　I　was　unwittingly
groping　for。　　When　you　take　up　a　Sunday　paper〃I　shuddered；　and　my
friend　smiled　intelligence〃　you　are　simply　appalled　at　the　miles　of
announcements　of　all　sorts。　　Who　can　possibly　read　them？　　Who　cares　even
to　look　at　them？　　But　if　you　want　something　in　particularto　furnish　a
house；　or　buy　a　suburban　place；　or　take　a　steamer　for　Europe；　or　go；　to
the　theatrethen　you　find　out　at　once　who　reads　the　advertisements；　and
cares　to　look　at　them。　　They　respond　to　the　multifarious　wants　of　the
whole　community。　　You　have　before　you　the　living　operation　of　that　law　of
demand　and　supply　which　it　has　always　been　such　a　bore　to　hear　about。
As　often　happens；　the　supply　seems　to　come　before　the　demand；　but　that's
only　an　appearance。　　You　wanted　something；　and　you　found　an　offer　to　meet
your　want。〃

〃Then　you　don't　believe　that　the　offer　to　meet　your　want　suggested　it？〃

〃I　see　that　my　author　believes　something　of　the　kind。　　We　may　be　full　of
all　sorts　of　unconscious　wants　which　merely　need　the　vivifying　influence
of　an　advertisement　to　make　them　spring　into　active　being；　but　I　have　a
feeling　that　the　money　paid　for　advertising　which　appeals　to　potential
wants　is　largely　thrown　away。　　You　must　want　a　thing；　or　think　you　want
it；　otherwise　you　resent　the　proffer　of　it　as　a　kind　of　impertinence。〃

〃There　are　some　kinds　of　advertisements；　all　the　same；　that　I　read
without　the　slightest　interest　in　the　subject　matter。　　Simply　the　beauty
of　the　style　attracts　me。〃

〃I　know。　　But　does　it　ever　move　you　to　get　what　you　don't　want？〃

〃Never；　and　I　should　be　glad　to　know　what　your　author　thinks　of　that　sort
of　advertising：　the　literary；　or　dramatic；　or　humorous；　or　quaint。〃

〃He　doesn't　contemn　it；　quite。　　But　I　think　he　feels　that　it　may　have　had
its　day。　　Do　you　still　read　such　advertisements　with　your　early　zest？〃

〃No；　the　zest　for　nearly　everything　goes。　　I　don't　care　so　much　for
Tourguenief　as　I　used。　　Still；　if　I　come　upon　the　jaunty　and　laconic
suggestions　of　a　certain　well…known　clothing…house；　concerning　the
season's　wear；　I　read　them　with　a　measure　of　satisfaction。　　The
advertising　expert〃

〃This　author　calls　him　the　adsmith。〃

〃Delightful！　　Ad　is　a　loathly　little　word；　but　we　must　come　to　it。　　It's
as　legitimate　as　lunch。　　But　as　I　was　saying；　the　adsmith　seems　to　have
caught　the　American　business　tone；　as　perfectly　as　any　of　our　novelists
have　caught　the　American　social　tone。〃

〃Yes；〃　said　my　friend；　〃and　he　seems　to　have　prospered　as　richly　by　it。
You　know　some　of　those　chaps　make　fifteen　or　twenty　thousand　dollars　by
adsmithing。　　They　have　put　their　art　quite　on　a　level　with　fiction
pecuniarily。〃

〃Perhaps　it　is　a　branch　of　fiction。〃

〃No；　they　claim　that　it　is　pure　fact。　　My　author　discourages　the
slightest　admixture　of　fable。　　The　truth；　clearly　and　simply　expressed；
is　the　best　in　an　ad。

〃It　is　best　in　a　wof；　too。　　I　am　always　saying　that。〃

〃Wof？〃

〃Well；　work　of　fiction。　　It's　another　new　word；　like　lunch　or　ad。〃

〃But　in　a　wof；〃　said　my　friend；　instantly　adopting　it；　〃my　author
insinuates　that　the　fashion　of　payment　tempts　you　to　verbosity；　while　in
an　ad　the　conditions　oblige　you　to　the　greatest　possible　succinctness。
In　one　case　you　are　paid　by　the　word；　in　the　other　you　pay　by　the　word。
That　is　where　the　adsmith　stands　upon　higher　moral　ground　than　the
wofsmith。〃

〃I　should　think　your　author　might　have　written　a　recent　article　in
'The　…；　reproaching　fiction　with　its　unhallowed　gains。〃

〃If　you　mean　that　for　a　sneer；　it　is　misplaced。　　He　would　have　been
incapable　of　it。　　My　author　is　no　more　the　friend　of　honesty　in
adsmithing　than　he　is　of　propriety；　He　deprecates　jocosity　in
apothecaries　and　undertakers；　not　only　as　bad　taste；　but　as　bad　business；
and　he　is　as　severe　as　any　one　could　be　upon　ads　that　seize　the　attention
by　disgusting　or　shocking　the　reader。

〃He　is　to　be　praised　for　that；　and　for　the　other　thing；　and　I　shouldn't
have　minded　his　criticising　the　ready　wofsmith。　　I　hope　he　attacks　the
use　of　display　type；　which　makes　our　newspapers　look　like　the　poster…
plastered　fences　around　vacant　lots。　　In　New　York　there　is　only　one　paper
whose　advertisements　are　not　typographically　a　shock　to　the　nerves。〃

〃Well；〃　said　my　friend；　〃he　attacks　foolish　and　ineffective　display。〃

〃It　is　all　foolish　and　ineffective。　　It　is　like　a　crowd　of　people　trying
to　make　themselves　heard　by　shouting　each　at　the　top　of　his　voice。
A　paper　full　of　display　advertisements　is　an　image　of　our　whole　congested
and　delirious　state　of　competition；　but　even　in　competitive　conditions　it
is　unnecessary；　and　it　is　futile。　　Compare　any　New　York　paper　but　one
with　the　London　papers；　and　you　will　see　what　I　mean。　　Of　course　I　refer
to　the　ad　pages；　the　rest　of　our　exception　is　as　offensive　with　pictures
and　scare　heads　as　all　the　rest。　　I　wish　your　author　could　revise　his
opinions　and　condemn　all　display　in　ads。〃

〃I　dare　say　he　will　when　he　knows　what　you　think；〃　said　my　friend；　with
imaginable　sarcasm。




III。

〃I　wish；〃　I　went　on；　〃that　he　would　give　us　some　philosophy　of　the
prodigious　increase