the lazy tour of two idle apprentices(两个闲荡徒弟的旅行)-第25章
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house； at this very moment； you may find … '
'Not one living creature；' interposed Thomas； 'who is not； in one way
or another； interested in horses； and who is not； in a greater or less degree；
an admirer of them。 Now； I hold opinions in reference to these particular
members of the quadruped creation； which may lay claim （as I believe） to
the disastrous distinction of being unpartaken by any other human being；
civilised or savage； over the whole surface of the earth。 Taking the horse
as an animal in the abstract； Francis； I cordially despise him from every
point of view。'
'Thomas；' said Goodchild； 'confinement to the house has begun to
affect your biliary secretions。 I shall go to the chemist's and get you
some physic。'
'I object；' continued Thomas； quietly possessing himself of his friend's
hat； which stood on a table near him； … 'I object； first； to the personal
appearance of the horse。 I protest against the conventional idea of beauty；
as attached to that animal。 I think his nose too long； his forehead too low；
and his legs （except in the case of the cart…horse） ridiculously thin by
comparison with the size of his body。 Again； considering how big an
animal he is； I object to the contemptible delicacy of his constitution。 Is
he not the sickliest creature in creation？ Does any child catch cold as
easily as a horse？ Does he not sprain his fetlock； for all his appearance
of superior strength； as easily as I sprained my ankle！ Furthermore； to take
him from another point of view； what a helpless wretch he is！ No fine
lady requires more constant waiting…on than a horse。 Other animals can
make their own toilette： he must have a groom。 You will tell me that
this is because we want to make his coat artificially glossy。 Glossy！
Come home with me； and see my cat； … my clever cat； who can groom
herself！ Look at your own dog！ see how the intelligent creature curry…
combs himself with his own honest teeth！ Then； again； what a fool the
horse is； what a poor； nervous fool！ He will start at a piece of white
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paper in the road as if it was a lion。 His one idea； when he hears a noise
that he is not accustomed to； is to run away from it。 What do you say to
those two common instances of the sense and courage of this absurdly
overpraised animal？ I might multiply them to two hundred； if I chose to
exert my mind and waste my breath； which I never do。 I prefer coming
at once to my last charge against the horse； which is the most serious of all；
because it affects his moral character。 I accuse him boldly； in his
capacity of servant to man； of slyness and treachery。 I brand him
publicly； no matter how mild he may look about the eyes； or how sleek he
may be about the coat； as a systematic betrayer； whenever he can get the
chance； of the confidence reposed in him。 What do you mean by
laughing and shaking your head at me？'
'Oh； Thomas； Thomas！' said Goodchild。 'You had better give me my
hat； you had better let me get you that physic。'
'I will let you get anything you like； including a composing draught for
yourself；' said Thomas； irritably alluding to his fellow…apprentice's
inexhaustible activity； 'if you will only sit quiet for five minutes longer；
and hear me out。 I say again the horse is a betrayer of the confidence
reposed in him； and that opinion； let me add； is drawn from my own
personal experience； and is not based on any fanciful theory whatever。
You shall have two instances； two overwhelming instances。 Let me start
the first of these by asking； what is the distinguishing quality which the
Shetland Pony has arrogated to himself； and is still perpetually trumpeting
through the world by means of popular report and books on Natural
History？ I see the answer in your face： it is the quality of being Sure…
Footed。 He professes to have other virtues； such as hardiness and
strength； which you may discover on trial； but the one thing which he
insists on your believing； when you get on his back； is that he may be
safely depended on not to tumble down with you。 Very good。 Some
years ago； I was in Shetland with a party of friends。 They insisted on
taking me with them to the top of a precipice that overhung the sea。 It
was a great distance off； but they all determined to walk to it except me。
I was wiser then than I was with you at Carrock； and I determined to be
carried to the precipice。 There was no carriage…road in the island； and
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nobody offered （in consequence； as I suppose； of the imperfectly… civilised
state of the country） to bring me a sedan…chair； which is naturally what I
should have liked best。 A Shetland pony was produced instead。 I
remembered my Natural History； I recalled popular report； and I got on the
little beast's back； as any other man would have done in my position；
placing implicit confidence in the sureness of his feet。 And how did he
repay that confidence？ Brother Francis； carry your mind on from morning
to noon。 Picture to yourself a howling wilderness of grass and bog；
bounded by low stony hills。 Pick out one particular spot in that
imaginary scene； and sketch me in it； with outstretched arms； curved back；
and heels in the air； plunging headforemost into a black patch of water and
mud。 Place just behind me the legs； the body； and the head of a sure…
footed Shetland pony； all stretched flat on the ground； and you will have
produced an accurate representation of a very lamentable fact。 And the
moral device； Francis； of this picture will be to testify that when
gentlemen put confidence in the legs of Shetland ponies； they will find to
their cost that they are leaning on nothing but broken reeds。 There is my
first instance … and what have you got to say to that？'
'Nothing； but that I want my hat；' answered Goodchild； starting up and
walking restlessly about the room。
'You shall have it in a minute；' rejoined Thomas。 'My second
instance' … （Goodchild groaned； and sat down again） … 'My second instance
is more appropriate to the present time and place； for it refers to a race…
horse。 Two years ago an excellent friend of mine； who was desirous of
prevailing on me to take regular exercise； and who was well enough
acquainted with the weakness of my legs to expect no very active
compliance with his wishes on their part； offered to make me a present of
one of his horses。 Hearing that the animal in question had started in life
on the turf； I declined accepting the gift with many thanks； adding； by way
of explanation； that I looked on a race…horse as a kind of embodied
hurricane； upon which no sane man of my character and habits could be
expected to seat himself。 My friend replied that； however appropriate my
metaphor might be as applied to race…horses in general； it was singularly
unsuitable as applied to the particular horse which he proposed to give me。
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From a foal upwards this remarkable animal had been the idlest and most
sluggish of his race。 Whatever capacities for speed he might possess he
had kept so strictly to himself； that no amount of training had ever brought
them out。 He had been found hopelessly slow as a racer； and hopelessly
lazy as a hunter； and was fit for nothing but a quiet； easy life of it with an
old gentleman or an invalid。 When I heard this account of the horse； I
don't mind confessing that my heart warmed to him。 Visions of Thomas
Idle ambling serenely on the back of a steed as lazy as himself； presenting
to a restless world the soothing and composite spectacle of a kind of
sluggardly Centaur； too peaceable in his habits to alarm anybody； swam
attractively before my eyes。 I went to look at the horse in the stable。
Nice fellow！ he was fast asleep with a kitten on his back。 I saw him
taken out for an airing by the groom。 If he had had trousers on his legs I
should not have known them from my own； so deliberately were they
lifted up； so gently were they put down； so slowly did they get over the
ground。 From that moment I gratefully accepted my friend's offer。 I went
home； the horse followed me … by a slow train。 Oh； Francis； how
devoutly I believed in that horse I how carefully I looked after all his little
comforts！ I had never gone the length of hiring a man…servant to wait on
myself； but I went to the expense of hiring one to wait upon him。 If I
thought a little of myself when I bought the softest saddle that could be
had for money； I thought also of my horse。 When the man at the shop
afterwards offered me spurs and a whip； I turned from him with horror。
When I sallied out for my first ride； I went purposely unarmed with the
means of hurrying my steed。 He proceeded at his own pace every step of
the way； and when he stopped； at last； and blew out both his sides with a
heavy sigh； and turned his sleepy head and looked behind him； I took him
home again； as I might take home an artless child who said to me； 〃If you
please； sir； I am tired。〃 For a we
