silas marner(织工马南)-第47章
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“Yes； I’m afraid we must give up the hope of having her for a
daughter。 It wouldn’t be right to want to force her to come to us
against her will。 We can’t alter her bringing up and what’s come of
it。”
“No；” said Godfrey； with a keen decisiveness of tone； in contrast
with his usually careless and unemphatic speech； “there’s debts
we can’t pay like money debts； by paying extra for the years that
have slipped by。 While I’ve been putting off and putting off； the
trees have been growing—it’s too late now。 Marner was in the
right in what he said about a man’s turning away a blessing from
his door： it falls to somebody else。 I wanted to pass for childless
once； Nancy—I shall pass for childless now against my wish。”
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Nancy did not speak immediately； but after a little while she
asked； “You won’t make it known； then； about Eppie’s being your
daughter？”
“No； where would be the good to anybody？—only harm。 I must
do what I can for her in the state of life she chooses。 I must see
who it is she’s thinking of marrying。”
“If it won’t do any good to make the thing known；” said Nancy；
who thought she might now allow herself the relief of entertaining
a feeling which she had tried to silence before； “I should be very
thankful for father and Priscilla never to be troubled with knowing
what was done in the past； more than about Dunsey： it can’t be
helped； their knowing that。”
“I shall put it in my will—I think I shall put it in my will。 I
shouldn’t like to leave anything to be found out； like this about
Dunsey；” said Godfrey； meditatively。 “But I can’t see anything but
difficulties that ’ud come from telling it now。 I must do what I can
to make her happy in her own way。 I’ve a notion；” he added； after
a moment’s pause； “it’s Aaron Winthrop she meant she was
engaged to。 I remember seeing him with her and Marner going
away from church。”
“Well； he’s very sober and industrious；” said Nancy； trying to
view the matter as cheerfully as possible。
Godfrey fell into thoughtfulness again。 Presently he looked up
at Nancy sorrowfully； and said—“She’s a very pretty； nice girl；
isn’t she； Nancy？”
“Yes； dear； and with just your hair and eyes： I wondered it had
never struck me before。”
“I think she took a dislike to me at the thought of my being her
father： I could see a change in her manner after that。”
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“She couldn’t bear to think of not looking on Marner as her
father；” said Nancy； not wishing to confirm her husband’s painful
impression。
“She thinks I did wrong by her mother as well as by her。 She
thinks me worse than I am。 But she must think it； she can never
know all。 It’s part of my punishment； Nancy； for my daughter to
dislike me。 I should never have got into that trouble if I’d been
true to you—if I hadn’t been a fool。 I’d no right to expect anything
but evil could come of that marriage—and when I shirked doing a
father’s part too。”
Nancy was silent： her spirit of rectitude would not let her try to
soften the edge of what she felt to be a just compunction。 He spoke
again after a little while； but the tone was rather changed： there
was tenderness mingled with the previous self…reproach。
“And I got you； Nancy； in spite of all； and yet I’ve been
grumbling and uneasy because I hadn’t something else—as if I
deserved it。”
“You’ve never been wanting to me； Godfrey；” said Nancy； with
quiet sincerity。 “My only trouble would be gone if you resigned
yourself to the lot that’s been given us。”
“Well； perhaps it isn’t too late to mend a bit there。 Though it is
too late to mend some things； say what they will。”
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Chapter 21
he next morning； when Silas and Eppie were seated at
their breakfast； he said to her—“Eppie； there’s a thing I’ve
T
had on my mind to do this two year； and now the money’s
been brought back to us； we can do it。 I’ve been turning it over
and over in the night； and I think we’ll set out tomorrow； while the
fine days last。 We’ll leave the house and everything for your
godmother to take care on； and we’ll make a little bundle o’ things
and set out。”
“Where to go； daddy？” said Eppie； in much surprise。
“To my old country—to the town where I was born—up
Lantern Yard。 I want to see Mr。 Paston； the minister： something
may ha’ come out to make ’em know I was innicent o’ the robbery。
And Mr。 Paston was a man with a deal o’ light—I want to speak to
him about the drawing o’ the lots。 And I should like to talk to him
about the religion o’ this countryside； for I partly think he doesn’t
know on it。”
Eppie was very joyful； for there was the prospect not only of
wonder and delight at seeing a strange country； but also of coming
back to tell Aaron all about it。 Aaron was so much wiser than she
was about most things—it would be rather pleasant to have this
little advantage over him。 Mrs。 Winthrop； though possessed with a
dim fear of dangers attendant on so long a journey； and requiring
many assurances that it would not take them out of the region of
carriers’ carts and slow wagons； was nevertheless well pleased
that Silas should revisit his own country； and find out if he had
been cleared from that false accusation。
“You’d be easier in your mind for the rest o’ your life； Master
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Marner；” said Dolly “—that you would。 And if there’s any light to
be got up the Yard as you talk on； we’ve need of it i’ this world；
and I’d be glad on it myself； if you could bring it back。”
So on the fourth day from that time； Silas and Eppie； in their
Sunday clothes； with a small bundle tied in a blue linen
handkerchief； were making their way through the streets of a
great manufacturing town。 Silas； bewildered by the changes thirty
years had brought over his native place； had stopped several
persons in succession to ask them the name of this town； that he
might be sure he was not under a mistake about it。
“Ask for Lantern Yard； father—ask this gentleman with the
tassels on his shoulders a…standing at the shop door； he isn’t in a
hurry like the rest；” said Eppie； in some distress at her father’s
bewilderment； and ill at ease； besides； amidst the noise； the
movement； and the multitude of strange； indifferent faces。
“Eh； my child； he won’t know anything about it；” said Silas：
“gentlefolks didn’t ever go up the Yard。 But happen somebody can
tell me which is the way to Prison Street； where the jail is。 I know
the way out o’ that as if I’d seen it yesterday。”
With some difficulty； after many turnings and new inquiries；
they reached Prison Street； and the grim walls of the jail； the first
object that answered to any image in Silas’s memory； cheered him
with the certitude； which no assurance of the town’s name had
hitherto given him； that he was in his native place。
“Ah；” he said； drawing a long breath； “there’s the jail； Eppie；
that’s just the same： I aren’t afraid now。 It’s the third turning on
the left hand from the jail doors—that’s the way we must go。”
“Oh； what a dark； ugly place！” said Eppie。 “How it hides the
sky！ It’s worse than the Workhouse。 I’m glad you don’t live in this
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town now； father。 Is Lantern Yard like this street？”
“My precious child；” said Silas； smiling； “it isn’t a big street like
this。 I never was easy i’ this street myself； but I was fond o’
Lantern Yard。 The shops here are all altered； I think—I can’t
make ’em out； but I shall know the turning； because it’s the third。”
“Here it is；” he said； in a tone of satisfaction； as they came to a
narrow alley。 “And then we must go to the left again； and then
straight for’ard for a bit； up Shoe Lane； and then we shall be at the
entry next to the o’erhanging window； where there’s the nick in
the road for the water to run。 Eh； I can see it all。”
“Oh； father； I’m like as if I was stifled；” said Eppie。 “I couldn’t
ha’ thought as any folks lived i’ this way； so close together。 How
pretty the Stone…pits ’ull look when we get back！”
“It looks comical to me； child； now—and smells bad。 I can’t
think as it usened to smell so。”
Here and there a sallow； begrimed face looked out from a
gloomy doorway at the strangers； and increased Eppie’s
uneasiness； so that it was a longed…for relief when they issued from
the alleys into Shoe Lane； where there was a broader strip of sky。
“Dear heart！” said Silas； “why； there’s people coming out o’ the
Yard as if they’d been to chapel at this time o’
