jeremy-第10章

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of　anger　and　dismay。

〃Come；　now；　things　aren't　so　bad　as　all　that。　You　be　a　good　boy；　and
go　and　tell　your　father　you're　sorry。　。　。〃　or　〃Well；　then；　Master
Jeremy；　there'll　be　another　time；　I　dare　say；　you　can　go　to　the　the…
ayter。　。　。〃

But　she　found　no　response。　If　there　was　one　thing　that　she　hated；　it
was　sulks。　Here　they　were；　sulks　of　the　worstand　so；　like　many
wiser　than　herself；　she　covered　up　with　a　word　a　situation　that　she
did　not　understand；　and　left　it　at　that。

The　evening　came　on；　the　curtains　were　drawn。　Tea　arrived；　still
Jeremy　sat　there；　not　speaking；　not　raising　his　eyes；　a　condemned
creature。　Mary　and　Helen　and　Hamlet　had　had　a　wretched　day。　They　all
sympathised　with　him。

The　girls　went　to　dress。　Seven　o'clock　struck。　They　were　taken
downstairs　by　Nurse；　who　had　her　evening　out。　Rose；　the　housemaid；
would　sit　with　Master　Jeremy。

Doors　closed；　doors　opened；　voices　echoed；　carriage…wheels　were
heard。

Jeremy　and　Hamlet　were　left　to　themselves。　。　。




III


The　last　door　had　closed；　and　the　sudden　sense　that　everyone　had
gone　and　that　he　might　behave　now　as　he　pleased；　removed　the　armour
in　which　all　day　he　had　encased　himself。

He　raised　his　head；　looked　about　the　deserted　nursery；　and　then；
with　the　sudden　consciousness　of　that　other　lighted　and　busied　place
where　Whittington　was　pursuing　his　adventures；　he　burst　into　tears。
He　sobbed；　his　head　down　upon　his　arms；　and　his　body　squeezed
together　so　that　his　knees　were　close　to　his　nose　and　his　hair　in
his　boots。　Hamlet　restored　him　to　himself。　Instead　of　assisting　his
master's　grief；　as　a　sentimental　dog　would　have　done；　by　sighing　or
sniffing　or　howling；　he　yawned；　stretched　himself；　and　rolled　on　the
carpet。　He　did　not　believe　in　giving　way　to　feelings；　and　he　was
surprised；　and　perhaps　disappointed；　at　Jeremy's　lack　of　restraint。

Jeremy　felt　this；　and　in　a　little　while　sobs　came　very　slowly；　and
at　last　were　only　little　shudders；　rather　pleasant　and　healthy。　He
looked　about　him；　rubbed　his　red　nose　with　a　hideously　dirty
handkerchief；　and　felt　immensely　sleepy。

No；　he　would　not　cry　any　more。　Rose　would　shortly　appear；　and　he　did
not　intend　to　cry　before　housemaids。　Nevertheless；　his　desolation
was　supreme。　He　was　a　liar。　He　had　told　lies　before；　but　they　had
not　been　discovered；　and　so　they　were　scarcely　lies。　。　。　Now；　in
some　strange　way；　the　publication　of　his　lie　had　shown　him　what
truly　impossible　things　lies　were。　He　had　witnessed　this　effect　upon
the　general　public；　he　had　not　believed　that　he　was　so　wicked。　He
did　not　even　now　feel　really　wicked；　but　he　saw　quite　clearly　that
there　was　one　world　for　liars　and　one　for　truthful　men。　He　wanted；
terribly　badly；　someone　to　tell　him　that　he　was　still　in　the　right
world。　。　。

And　then；　on　the　other　side；　the　thought　that　Mary　and　Helen　were　at
this　very　moment　witnessing　the　coloured　history　of　Dick
Whittinglon；　the　history　that　he　had　pursued　ceaselessly　during　all
these　days　and　nightsthat　picture　of　them　all　in　the　lighted
theatreonce　more　nearly　overcame　him。　But　he　pulled　himself
together。

He　sniffed；　left　his　dirty　handkerchief；　and　went　slowly　and
sorrowfully　to　drag　out　his　toy　village　from　its　corner　and　see
whether　anything　could　be　done　with　it。　。　。。　After　all；　he　was　going
to　school　in　September。　His　punishment　could　not　be　quite　limitless。
Hamlet　had　just　shown　his　approval　of　this　manly　conduct　by
strolling　up　and　sniffing　at　the　Noah　family；　who　were；　as　usual；　on
their　way　to　church；　when　the　door　suddenly　opened；　and　in　came
Uncle　Samuel。

Jeremy　had　forgotten　his　uncle；　and　now　blinked　up　at　him　from　the
floor；　where　he　was　squatting；　rather　ashamed　of　his　swollen　eyes
and　red　nose。

Uncle　Samuel；　however；　had　no　time　for　details；　he　was　apparently　in
a　hurry。　He　did　not　wear　his　blue　painting…smock；　but　was　in　a
comparatively　clean　black　suit；　and　on　the　back　of　his　head　was　a
squashy　brown　hat。

〃Come　on；〃　he　said；　〃or　we　shall　be　too　late。〃

Jeremy　choked。　〃Too　late？〃　he　repeated。

〃You're　coming；　aren't　youto　the　Pantomime？　They　sent　me　back　for
you。〃

The　room　suddenly　got　on　to　its　legs；　like　the　food　and　the　families
during　Alice's　feast　in　the　〃Looking　Glass；〃　and　swung　round；
lurching　from　side　to　side；　and　causing　the　fire　to　run　into　the　gas
and　the　gas　to　fly　out　of　the　window。

〃Idon'tunderstand；〃　Jeremy　stammered。

〃Well；　if　you　don't　understand　in　half　a　shake；〃　said　Uncle　Samuel；
〃you　won't　see　any　of　the　show　at　all。　Go　on。　Wash　your　face。　There
are　streaks　of　dirt　all　down　it　as　though　you　were　a　painted　Indian；
stick　on　your　cap　and　coat　and　boots　and　come　along。〃

Exactly　as　one　moves　in　sleep　so　Jeremy　now　moved。　He　had　once　had　a
wonderful　dream；　in　which　he　had　been　at　a　meal　that　included　every
thing　that　he　had　most　lovedfish…cakes；　sausages；　ices；　strawberry
jam；　sponge…　cake；　chocolates；　and　scrambled　eggsand　he　had　been
able　to　eat；　and　eat；　and　had　never　been　satisfied；　and　had　never
felt　sicka　lovely　dream。

He　often　thought　of　it。　And　now　in　the　same　bewildering　fashion　he
found　his　boots　and　cap　and　coat　and　then；　deliberately　keeping　from
him　the　thought　of　the　Pantomime　lest　he　should　suddenly　wake　up；　he
said：

〃I'm　ready；　Uncle。〃

Samuel　Trefusia　looked　at　him。

〃You're　a　strange　kid；〃　he　said；　〃you　take　everything　so　quietly
but；　thank　God；　I　don't　understand　children。〃

〃There's　Hamlet；〃　　said　　Jeremy；　　wondering　whether　perhaps　the
dream　would　extend　to　his　friend。　〃I　suppose　he　can't　come　too。〃

〃No；　he　certainly　can't；〃　said　Uncle　Samuel　grimly。

〃And　there's　Rose。　She'll　wonder　where　I've　gone。〃

〃I've　told　her。　Don't　you　worry。　What　a　conscientious　infant　you
are。　Just　like　your　father。　Anything　else？〃

〃No；〃　said　Jeremy　breathlessly；　and　nearly　murdered　himself　going
downstairs　because　he　shut　his　eyes　in　order　to　continue　the　dream
so　long　as　it　was　possible。　Then　in　the　cold　night　air；　grasping　his
uncle's　hand　with　a　feverish　hold；　he　stammered：

〃Is　it　really　true？　　Are　we　goingreally？〃

〃Of　course　we're　going。　Come　onstep　out　or　you'll　miss　the　Giant。〃

〃Butbutoh！〃　he　drew　a　deep　breath。　〃Then　they　don't　think　me　a
liar　any　more？？

〃Theywho？〃

〃Father　and　Mother　and　everyone。〃

〃Don't　you　think　about　them。　You'd　better　enjoy　yourself。〃

〃But　you　said　you　wouldn't　go　to　the　Pantomimenot　for　anything？〃

〃Well；　I've　changed　my　mind。　Don't　talk　so　much。　You　know　I　hate　you
children　chattering。　Always　got　something　to　say。〃

So　Jeremy　was　silent。　They　raced　down　Orange　Street；　Jeremy　being
almost　carried　off　his　feet。　This　was　exactly　like　a　dream。　This
rushing　movement　and　the　way　that　the　lamp…posts　ran　up　to　you　as
though　they　were　going　to　knock　you　down；　and　the　way　that　the　stars
crackled　and　sputtered　and　trembled　overhead。　But　Uncle　Samuel's
hand　was　flesh　and　blood；　and　the　heel　of　Jeremy's　right　shoe　hurt
him　and　he　felt　the　tickle　of　his　sailor…collar　at　the　back　of　his
neck；　just　as　he　did　when　he　was　awake。

Then　there　they　were　at　the　Assembly　Rooms　door；　Jeremy　having
become　so　breathless　that　Uncle　Samuel　had　to　hold　him　up　for　a
moment　or　he'd　have　fallen。

〃Bit　too　fast　for　you；　was　it？　Well；　you　shouldn't　be　so　fat。　You
eat　too　much。　Now　we're　not　going　to　sit　with　your　father　and
motherthere　isn't　room　for　you　there。　So　don't　you　go　calling　out
to　them　or　anything。　We're　sitting　in　the　back　and　you'd　better　be
quiet　or　they'll　turn　you　out。〃

〃I'll　be　quiet；〃　gasped　Jeremy。

Uncle　Samuel　paused　at　a　lighted　hole　in　the　wall　and　spoke　to　a
large　lady　in　black　silk　who　was　drinking　a　cup　of　tea。　Jeremy
caught　the　jingle　of　money。　Then　they　moved　forward；　stumbling　in
the　dark　up　a　number　of　stone　steps；　pushing　at　a　heavy　black
curtain；　then　suddenly　bathed　in　a　bewildering　glow　of　light　and
scent　and　colour。

Jeremy's　first　impression；　as　he　fell　into　this　new　world；　was　of　an
ugly；　harsh；　but　funny　voice　crying　out　very　loudly　indeed：　〃Oh；　my
great　aunt！　Oh；　my　great　aunt！　Oh；　my　great　aunt！〃　A　roar　of
laughter　rose　about　him；　almost　lifting　him　off　his　feet；　and　close
to　his　car　a　Glebeshire　voice　sobbed：　〃Eh；　my　dear。　Poor　worm！　Poor
worm！〃

He　was　aware　then　of　a　strong　smell　of　oranges；　of　Uncle　Samuel
pushing　him　forward；　of　stumbling　over　boots；　knees；　and　large　hands
that　were　clapping　in　his　very　nose；　of　falling　into　a　seat　and　then
clinging　to　it　as　though　it　was　his　only　hope　in　this　strange
puzzling　world。　The　high　funny　voice　rose　again：　〃Oh；　my　great　aunt！
Oh；　my　great　aunt！〃　And　again　it　was　followed　by　the　rough　roar　of
delighted　laughter。

He　was　aware　then　that　about　him　on　every　side　gas　was　sizzling；　and
then；　as　he　recovered　slowly　his　breath；　his　gaze　was　drawn　to　the
great　blaze　of　light　in　the　distance；　against　which　figures　were
dimly　moving；　and　from　the　heart　of　which　the　strange　voice　came。　He
heard　a　woman's　voice；　then　several　voices　together；　then　suddenly
the　whole　scene　shifted　into　focus；　his　eyes　were　tied　to　the　light；
the　oranges　and　the　gas　and　the　smell　of　clothes　and　heated　bodies
slipped　back　into　distancehe　was　caught　into　the　world　where　he
had　longed　to　be。

He　saw　that　it　was　a　shopand　he　loved　shops。　His　heart　beat
thickly　as　his　eyes　travelled　up　and　up　and　up　over　the　rows　and
rows　of　shelves；　here　were　bales　of　cloth；　red　and　green　and　blue；
carpets　from　the　East；　table…covers；　sheets　and　blankets。　Behind　the
long　yellow　counters　young　men　in　strange　clothes　were　standing。　In
the　middle　of　the　scene　was　a　funny　old　woman；　her　hat　tumbling　off
her　head；　her　shabby　skirt　dragging；　large　boots；　and　a　red　nose。　It
was　from　this　strange　creature　that　the　deep　ugly　voice　proceeded。
She　had；　this　old　woman；　a　number　of　bales　of　cloth　under　her　arms；
and　she　tried　to　carry　them　all；　but　one　slipped；　and　then　another；
and　then　another；　she　bent　to　pick　them　up　and　her　hat　fell　off；　she
turned　for　her　hat　and　all　the　bales　tumbled　together。　Jeremy　began
to　laugheveryone　laughed；　the　strange　voice　came　again　and　again；
lamenting；　bewailing；　she　had　secured　one　bale；　a　smile　of　cautious
triumph　began　to　spread　over　her　ugly　face；　then　the　bales　all　fell
again；　and　once　more　she　was　on　her　knees。　It　was　then　that　her
voice　or　some　movement　brought　to　Jeremy's　eyes　so　vividly　the
figure　of　their　old　gardener；　Jordan；　that　he　turned　round　to　Uncle
Samuel；　and　suddenly　grasping　that　gentleman's　fat　thigh；　exclaimed
convulsively：　〃Why；　she's　a　man！〃

What　a　strange　topsy…turvy　world　this　was　in　which　women　were　men；
and　shops　turned　（as　with　a　sudden　creaking　and　darkness　and
clattering　did　this　one）　into　gardens　by　the　sea。　Jeremy　drew　his
breath　deeply　and　held　on。　His　mouth　was　open　and　his　hair　on　end。　。
。

It　is　impossible　to　define　exactly　Jeremy's　ultimate　impression　as
the　entertainment　proceeded。　Perhaps　he　had　no　ultimate　impression。
It　cannot　in　reality　have　been　a　very　wonderful　Pantomime。　Even　at
Drury　Lane　thirty　years　back　there　were　many　things　that　they　did
not　know；　and　it　is　not　likely　that　a　touring　company　fitted　into　so
inadequate　an　old　building　as　our　Assembly　Rooms　would　have　provided
anything　very　fine。　But　Jeremy　will　never　again　discover