treatises on friendship and old age-第3章

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confidence　in　myself。　For　the　theme　is　a　noble　one；　and　we　are　（as
Fannius　has　said）　at　leisure。　But　who　am　I？　and　what　ability　have
I？　What　you　propose　is　all　very　well　for　professional　philosophers；
who　are　used；　particularly　if　Greeks；　to　have　the　subject　for
discussion　proposed　to　them　on　the　spur　of　the　moment。　　It　is　a
task　of　considerable　difficulty；　and　requires　no　little　practice。　
Therefore　for　a　set　discourse　on　friendship　you　must　go；　I　think；　to
professional　lecturers。　All　I　can　do　is　to　urge　on　you　to　regard
friendship　as　the　greatest　thing　in　the　world；　for　there　is　nothing
which　so　fits　in　with　our　nature；　or　is　so　exactly　what　we　want　in
prosperity　or　adversity。

But　I　must　at　the　very　beginning　lay　down　this　principle…
_friendship　can　only　exist　between　good　men_。　　I　do　not；　however；
press　this　too　closely；　like　the　philosophers　who　push　their
definitions　to　a　superfluous　accuracy。　They　have　truth　on　their
side；　perhaps；　but　it　is　of　no　practical　advantage。　　Those；　I　mean；
who　say　that　no　one　but　the　〃wise〃　is　〃good。〃　Granted；　by　all
means。　But　the　〃wisdom〃　they　mean　is　one　to　which　no　mortal
ever　yet　attained。　We　must　concern　ourselves　with　the　facts　of
everyday　life　as　we　find　it…not　imaginary　and　ideal　perfections。
Even　Gaius　Fannius；　Manius　Curius；　and　Tiberius　Coruncanius；
whom　our　ancestors　decided　to　be　〃wise；〃　I　could　never　declare　to
be　so　according　to　their　standard。　　Let　them；　then；　keep　this　word
〃wisdom〃　to　themselves。　Everybody　is　irritated　by　it；　no　one
understands　what　it　means。　　Let　them　but　grant　that　the　men　I
mentioned　were　〃good。〃　No；　they　won't　do　that　either。　No　one　but
the　〃wise〃　can　be　allowed　that　title；　say　they。　Well；　then；　let　us
dismiss　them　and　manage　as　best　we　may　with　our　own　poor
mother　wit；　as　the　phrase　is。

We　mean　then　by　the　〃good〃　_those　whose　actions　and　lives　leave
no　question　as　to　their　honour；　purity；　equity；　and　liberality；　who
are　free　from　greed；　lust；　and　violence；　and　who　have　the　courage
of　their　convictions_。　The　men　I　have　just　named　may　serve　as
examples。　　Such　men　as　these　being　generally　accounted　〃good；〃
let　us　agree　to　call　them　so；　on　the　ground　that　to　the　best　of
human　ability　they　follow　nature　as　the　most　perfect　guide　to　a
good　life。

Now　this　truth　seems　clear　to　me；　that　nature　has　so　formed　us　that
a　certain　tie　unites　us　all；　but　that　this　tie　becomes　stronger　from
proximity。　　So　it　is　that　fellow…citizens　are　preferred　in　our
affections　to　foreigners；　relations　to　strangers；　for　in　their　case
Nature　herself　has　caused　a　kind　of　friendship　to　exist；　though　it　is
one　which　lacks　some　of　the　elements　of　permanence。　　Friendship
excels　relationship　in　this；　that　whereas　you　may　eliminate
affection　from　relationship；　you　cannot　do　so　from　friendship。　
Without　it　relationship　still　exists　in　name；　friendship　does　not。
You　may　best　understand　this　friendship　by　considering　that；
whereas　the　merely　natural　ties　uniting　the　human　race　are
indefinite；　this　one　is　so　concentrated；　and　confined　to　so　narrow　a
sphere；　that　affection　is　ever　shared　by　two　persons　only　or　at　most
by　a　few。

6。　Now　friendship　may　be　thus　defined：　a　complete　accord　on　all
subjects　human　and　divine；　joined　with　mutual　goodwill　and
affection。　And　with　the　exception　of　wisdom；　I　am　inclined　to
think　nothing　better　than　this　has　been　given　to　man　by　the
immortal　gods。　　There　are　people　who　give　the　palm　to　riches　or　to
good　health；　or　to　power　and　office；　many　even　to　sensual
pleasures。　　This　last　is　the　ideal　of　brute　beasts；　and　of　the　others
we　may　say　that　they　are　frail　and　uncertain；　and　depend　less　on
our　own　prudence　than　on　the　caprice　of　fortune。　Then　there　are
those　who　find　the　〃chief　good〃　in　virtue。　　Well；　that　is　a　noble
doctrine。　　But　the　very　virtue　they　talk　of　is　the　parent　and
preserver　of　friendship；　and　without　it　friendship　cannot　possibly
exist。

Let　us；　I　repeat；　use　the　word　virtue　in　the　ordinary　acceptation　and
meaning　of　the　term；　and　do　not　let　us　define　it　in　high…flown
language。　Let　us　account　as　good　the　persons　usually　considered
so；　such　as　Paulus；　Cato；　Gallus；　Scipio；　and　Philus。　　Such　men　as
these　are　good　enough　for　everyday　life；　and　we　need　not　trouble
ourselves　about　those　ideal　characters　which　are　nowhere　to　be
met　with。

Well；　between　men　like　these　the　advantages　of　friendship　are
almost　more　than　I　can　say。　To　begin　with；　how　can　life　he　worth
living；　to　use　the　words　of　Ennius；　which　lacks　that　repose　which
is　to　be　found　in　the　mutual　good…will　of　a　friend？　What　can　be
more　delightful　than　to　have　some　one　to　whom　you　can　say
everything　with　the　same　absolute　confidence　as　to　yourself？　　Is
not　prosperity　robbed　of　half　its　value　if　you　have　no　one　to　share
your　joy？　On　the　other　hand；　misfortunes　would　be　hard　to　bear　if
there　were　not　some　one　to　feel　them　even　more　acutely　than
yourself。　　In　a　word；　other　objects　of　ambition　serve　for　particular
ends…riches　for　use；　power　for　securing　homage；　office　for
reputation；　pleasure　for　enjoyment；　health　for'　freedom　from　pain
and　the　full　use　of　the　functions　of　the　body。　　But　friendship
embraces　innumerable　advantages。　Turn　which　way　you　please；
you　will　find　it　at　hand。　It　is　everywhere；　and　yet　never　out　of
place；　never　unwelcome。　Fire　and　water　themselves；　to　use　a
common　expression；　are　not　of　more　universal　use　than　friendship。
I　am　not　now　speaking　of　the　common　or　modified　form　of　it；
though　even　that　is　a　source　of　pleasure　and　profit；　but　of　that　true
and　complete　friendship　which　existed　between　the　select　few　who
are　known　to　fame。　　Such　friendship　enhances　prosperity；　and
relieves　adversity　of　its　burden　by　halving　and　sharing　it。

7。　And　great　and　numerous　as　are　the　blessings　of　friendship；　this
certainly　is　the　sovereign　one；　that　it　gives　us　bright　hopes　for　the
future　and　forbids　weakness　and　despair。　In　the　face　of　a　true
friend　a　man　sees　as　it　were　a　second　self。　　So　that　where　his　friend
is　he　is；　if　his　friend　be　rich；　he　is　not　poor；　though　he　be　weak；　his
friend's　strength　is　his；　and　in　his　friend's　life　he　enjoys　a　second
life　after　his　own　is　finished。　This　last　is　perhaps　the　most　difficult
to　conceive。　But　such　is　the　effect　of　the　respect；　the　loving
remembrance；　and　the　regret　of　friends　which　follow　us　to　the
grave。　　While　they　take　the　sting　out　of　death；　they　add　a　glory　to
the　life　of　the　survivors。　Nay；　if　you　eliminate　from　nature　the　tie
of　affection；　there　will　be　an　end　of　house　and　city；　nor　will　so
much　as　the　cultivation　of　the　soil　be　left。　　If　you　don't　see　the
virtue　of　friendship　and　harmony；　you　may　learn　it　by　observing
the　effects　of　quarrels　and　feuds。　Was　any　family　ever　so　well
established；　any　State　so　firmly　settled；　as　to　be　beyond　the　reach
of　utter　destruction　from　animosities　and　factions？　This　may　teach
you　the　immense　advantage　of　friendship。

They　say　that　a　certain　philosopher　of　Agrigentum；　in　a　Greek
poem；　pronounced　with　the　authority　of　an　oracle　the　doctrine　that
whatever　in　nature　and　the　universe　was　unchangeable　was　so　in
virtue　of　the　binding　force　of　friendship；　whatever　was　changeable
was　so　by　the　solvent　power　of　discord。　　And　indeed　this　is　a　truth
which　everybody　understands　and　practically　attests　by　experience。　
For　if　any　marked　instance　of　loyal　friendship　in　confronting　or
sharing　danger　comes　to　light；　every　one　applauds　it　to　the　echo。
What　cheers　there　were；　for　instance；　all　over　the　theatre　at　a
passage　in　the　new　play　of　my　friend　and　guest　Pacuvius；　where
the　king；　not　knowing　which　of　the　two　was　Orestes；　Pylades
declared　himself　to　be　Orestes；　that　he　might　die　in　his　stead；　while
the　real　Orestes　kept　on　asserting　that　it　was　he。　　The　audience　rose
_en　masse_　and　clapped　their　hands。　And　this　was　at　an　incident　in
fiction：　what　would　they　have　done；　must　we　suppose；　if　it　had
been　in　real　life？　You　can　easily　see　what　a　natural　feeling　it　is；
when　men　who　would　not　have　had　the　resolution　to　act　thus
themselves；　shewed　how　right　they　thought　it　in　another。

I　don't　think　I　have　any　more　to　say　about　friendship。　If　there　is　any
more；　and　I　have　no　doubt　there　is　much；　you　must；　if　you　care　to
do　so；　consult　those　who　profess　to　discuss　such　matters。

_Fannius_。　We　would　rather　apply　to　you。　　Yet　I　have　often
consulted　such　persons；　and　have　heard　what　they　had　to　say　with　a
certain　satisfaction。　　But　in　your　discourse　one　somehow　feels　that
there　is　a　different　strain。

_Scaevola_。　You　would　have　said　that　still　more；　Fannius；　if　you
had　been　present　the　other　day　in　Scipio's　pleasure…grounds　when
we　had　the　discussion　about　the　State。　How　splendidly　he　stood　up
for　justice　against　Philus's　elaborate　speech。

_Fannius_。　　Ah！　it　was　naturally　easy　for　the　justest　of　men　to
stand　up　for　justice。

_Scaevola_。　Well；　then；　what　about　friendship？　Who　could
discourse　on　it　more　easily　than　the　man　whose　chief　glory　is　a
friendship　maintained　with　the　most　absolute　fidelity；　constancy；
and　integrity？

8。　_Laclius_。　Now　you　are　really　using　force。　It　makes　no
difference　what　kind　of　force　you　use：　force　it　is。　For　it　is　neither
easy　nor　right　to　refuse　a　wish　of　my　sons…in…law；　particularly
when
the　wish　is　a　creditable　one　in　itself。

Well；　then；　it　has　very　often　occurred　to　me　when　thinking　about
friendship；　that　the　chief　point　to　be　considered　was　this：　is　it
weakness　and　want　of　means　that　make　friendship　desired？　I
mean；　is　its　object　an　interchange　of　good　offices；　so　that　each　may
give　that　in　which　he　is　strong；　and　receive　that　in　which　he　is
weak？　Or　is　it　not　rather　true　that；　although　this　is　an　advantage
naturally　belonging　to　friendship；　yet　its　original　cause　is　quite
other；　prior　in　time；　more　noble　in　character；　and　springing　more
directly　from　our　nature　itself？　The　Latin　word　for　friendship…
_amicitia_…is　derived　from　that　for　love…_amor_；　and　love　is
certainly　the　prime　mover　in　contracting　mutual　affection。　
For　as　to　material　advantages；　it　often　happens　that　those　are
obtained　even　by　men　who　are　courted　by　a　mere　show　of
friendship　and　treated　with　respect　from　interested　motives。　　But
friendship　by　its　nature　admits　of　no　feigning；　no　pretence：　as　far
as　it　goes　it　is　both　genuine　and　spontaneous。　Therefore　I　gather
that　friendship　springs　from　a　natural　impulse　rather　than　a　wish
for　help：　from　an　inclination　of　the　heart；　combined　with　a　certain
instinctive　feeling　of　love；　rather　than　from　a　deliberate　calculation
of　the　material　advantage　it　was　likely　to　confer。　The　strength　of
this　feeling　you　may　notice　in　certain　animals。　They　show　such
love　to　their　offspring　for　a　certain　period；　and　are　so　beloved　by
them；　that　they　clearly　have　a　share　in　this　natural；　instinctive
affection。　But　of　course　it　is　more　evident　in　the　case　of　man：　first；
in　the　natural　affection　between　children　and　their　parents；　an
affection　which　only　shocking　wickedness　can　sunder；　and　next；
when　the　passion　of　love　has　attained　to　a　like　strength…on　our
finding；　that　is；　some　one　person　with　whose　character　and　nature
we　are　in　full　sympathy；　because　we　think　that　we　perceive　in　him
what　I　may　call　the　beacon…light　of　virtue。