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CARE。  I confess�察�a very fair foundation for a lover to build upon。



MEL。  For my Lord Froth�察�he and his wife will be sufficiently taken

up with admiring one another and Brisk's gallantry�察�as they call it。

I'll observe my uncle myself�察�and Jack Maskwell has promised me to

watch my aunt narrowly�察�and give me notice upon any suspicion。  As

for Sir Paul�察�my wise father´in´law that is to be�察�my dear Cynthia

has such a share in his fatherly fondness�察�he would scarce make her

a moment uneasy to have her happy hereafter。



CARE。  So you have manned your works�察�but I wish you may not have

the weakest guard where the enemy is strongest。



MEL。  Maskwell�察�you mean�察�prithee why should you suspect him��



CARE。  Faith I cannot help it�察�you know I never liked him�此 �I am a

little superstitious in physiognomy。



MEL。  He has obligations of gratitude to bind him to me�此 �his

dependence upon my uncle is through my means。



CARE。  Upon your aunt�察�you mean。



MEL。  My aunt��



CARE。  I'm mistaken if there be not a familiarity between them you

do not suspect�察�notwithstanding her passion for you。



MEL。  Pooh�察�pooh� �nothing in the world but his design to do me

service�察�and he endeavours to be well in her esteem�察�that he may be

able to effect it。



CARE。  Well�察�I shall be glad to be mistaken�察�but your aunt's

aversion in her revenge cannot be any way so effectually shown as in

bringing forth a child to disinherit you。  She is handsome and

cunning and naturally wanton。  Maskwell is flesh and blood at best��

and opportunities between them are frequent。  His affection to you��

you have confessed�察�is grounded upon his interest�察�that you have

transplanted�察�and should it take root in my lady�察�I don't see what

you can expect from the fruit。



MEL。  I confess the consequence is visible�察�were your suspicions

just。  But see�察�the company is broke up�察�let's meet 'em。





SCENE IV。





��To them�А�LORD TOUCHWOOD�察�LORD FROTH�察�SIR PAUL PLYANT�察�and BRISK。



LORD TOUCH。  Out upon't�察�nephew。  Leave your father´in´law and me to

maintain our ground against young people��



MEL。  I beg your lordship's pardon。  We were just returning。



SIR PAUL。  Were you�察�son�拭 �Gadsbud�察�much better as it is。  Good��

strange�  �I swear I'm almost tipsy�察�t'other bottle would have been

too powerful for me��as sure as can be it would。  We wanted your

company�察�but Mr。 Briskwhere is he�拭 �I swear and vow he's a most

facetious person�察�and the best company。  And�察�my Lord Froth�察�your

lordship is so merry a man�察�he�察�he�察�he。



LORD FROTH。  Oh�察�foy�察�Sir Paul�察�what do you mean�拭 �Merry�  �Oh��

barbarous�  �I'd as lieve you called me fool。



SIR PAUL。  Nay�察�I protest and vow now�察�'tis true�察�when Mr。 Brisk

jokes�察�your lordship's laugh does so become you�察�he�察�he�察�he。



LORD FROTH。  Ridiculous�  �Sir Paul�察�you're strangely mistaken�察�I

find champagne is powerful。  I assure you�察�Sir Paul�察�I laugh at

nobody's jest but my own�察�or a lady's�察�I assure you�察�Sir Paul。



BRISK。  How�拭�how�察�my lord�拭�what�察�affront my wit�  �Let me perish�察�do

I never say anything worthy to be laughed at��



LORD FROTH。  Oh�察�foy�察�don't misapprehend me�察�I don't say so�察�for I

often smile at your conceptions。  But there is nothing more

unbecoming a man of quality than to laugh�察�'tis such a vulgar

expression of the passion�察�everybody can laugh。  Then especially to

laugh at the jest of an inferior person�察�or when anybody else of the

same quality does not laugh with oneridiculous�  �To be pleased

with what pleases the crowd�  �Now when I laugh�察�I always laugh

alone。



BRISK。  I suppose that's because you laugh at your own jests�察�i'gad��

ha�察�ha�察�ha。



LORD FROTH。  He�察�he�察�I swear though�察�your raillery provokes me to a

smile。



BRISK。  Ay�察�my lord�察�it's a sign I hit you in the teeth�察�if you show

'em。



LORD FROTH。  He�察�he�察�he�察�I swear that's so very pretty�察�I can't

forbear。



CARE。  I find a quibble bears more sway in your lordship's face than

a jest。



LORD TOUCH。  Sir Paul�察�if you please we'll retire to the ladies�察�and

drink a dish of tea to settle our heads。



SIR PAUL。  With all my heart。  Mr。 Brisk�察�you'll come to us�察�or call

me when you joke�察�I'll be ready to laugh incontinently。





SCENE V。





MELLEFONT�察�CARELESS�察�LORD FROTH�察�BRISK。



MEL。  But does your lordship never see comedies��



LORD FROTH。  Oh yes�察�sometimes�察�but I never laugh。



MEL。  No��



LORD FROTH。  Oh no�察�never laugh indeed�察�sir。



CARE。  No� �why�察�what d'ye go there for��



LORD FROTH。  To distinguish myself from the commonalty and mortify

the poets�察�the fellows grow so conceited�察�when any of their foolish

wit prevails upon the side´boxes。  I swear��he�察�he�察�he�察�I have

often constrained my inclinations to laugh��he�察�he�察�he�察�to avoid

giving them encouragement。



MEL。  You are cruel to yourself�察�my lord�察�as well as malicious to

them。



LORD FROTH。  I confess I did myself some violence at first�察�but now

I think I have conquered it。



BRISK。  Let me perish�察�my lord�察�but there is something very

particular in the humour�察�'tis true it makes against wit�察�and I'm

sorry for some friends of mine that write�察�but�察�i'gad�察�I love to be

malicious。  Nay�察�deuce take me�察�there's wit in't�察�too。  And wit must

be foiled by wit�察�cut a diamond with a diamond�察�no other way�察�i'gad。



LORD FROTH。  Oh�察�I thought you would not be long before you found

out the wit。



CARE。  Wit�  �In what�拭 �Where the devil's the wit in not laughing

when a man has a mind to't��



BRISK。  O Lord�察�why can't you find it out�拭 �Why�察�there 'tis�察�in the

not laughing。  Don't you apprehend me�拭 �My lord�察�Careless is a very

honest fellow�察�but harkee�察�you understand me�察�somewhat heavy�察�a

little shallow�察�or so。  Why�察�I'll tell you now�察�suppose now you come

up to menay�察�prithee�察�Careless�察�be instructed。  Suppose�察�as I was

saying�察�you come up to me holding your sides�察�and laughing as if you

wouldwellI look grave�察�and ask the cause of this immoderate

mirth。  You laugh on still�察�and are not able to tell me�察�still I

look grave�察�not so much as smile。



CARE。  Smile�察�no�察�what the devil should you smile at�察�when you

suppose I can't tell you��



BRISK。  Pshaw�察�pshaw�察�prithee don't interrupt me。  But I tell you��

you shall tell me at last�察�but it shall be a great while first。



CARE。  Well�察�but prithee don't let it be a great while�察�because I

long to have it over。



BRISK。  Well then�察�you tell me some good jest or some very witty

thing�察�laughing all the while as if you were ready to die�察�and I

hear it�察�and look thus。  Would not you be disappointed��



CARE。  No�察�for if it were a witty thing I should not expect you to

understand it。



LORD FROTH。  Oh�察�foy�察�Mr。 Careless�察�all the world allows Mr。 Brisk

to have wit�察�my wife says he has a great deal。  I hope you think her

a judge。



BRISK。  Pooh�察�my lord�察�his voice goes for nothing�察�I can't tell how

to make him apprehend。  Take it t'other way。  Suppose I say a witty

thing to you��



CARE。  Then I shall be disappointed indeed。



MEL。  Let him alone�察�Brisk�察�he is obstinately bent not to be

instructed。



BRISK。  I'm sorry for him�察�the deuce take me。



MEL。  Shall we go to the ladies�察�my lord��



LORD FROTH。  With all my heart�察�methinks we are a solitude without

'em。



MEL。  Or what say you to another bottle of champagne��



LORD FROTH。  Oh�察�for the universe not a drop more�察�I beseech you。

Oh�察�intemperate�  �I have a flushing in my face already。  ��Takes out

a pocket´glass and looks in it。��



BRISK。  Let me see�察�let me see�察�my lord�察�I broke my glass that was

in the lid of my snuff´box。  Hum�  �Deuce take me�察�I have encouraged

a pimple here too。  ��Takes the glass and looks。��



LORD FROTH。  Then you must mortify him with a patch�察�my wife shall

supply you。  Come�察�gentlemen�察�ALLONS�察�here is company coming。





SCENE VI。





LADY TOUCHWOOD and MASKWELL。



LADY TOUCH。  I'll hear no more。  You are false and ungrateful�察�come��

I know you false。



MASK。  I have been frail�察�I confess�察�madam�察�for your ladyship's

service。



LADY TOUCH。  That I should trust a man whom I had known betray his

friend��



MASK。  What friend have I betrayed�拭�or to whom��



LADY TOUCH。  Your fond friend Mellefont�察�and to me�察�can you deny it��



MASK。  I do not。



LADY TOUCH。  Have you not wronged my lord�察�who has been a father to

you in your wants�察�and given you being�拭 �Have you not wronged him in

the highest manner�察�in his bed��



MASK。  With your ladyship's help�察�and for your service�察�as I told

you before。  I can't deny that neither。  Anything more�察�madam��



LADY TOUCH。  More�  �Audacious villain�  �Oh�察�what's more�察�is most my

shame。  Have you not dishonoured me��



MASK。  No�察�that I deny�察�for I never told in all my life�此 �so that

accusation's answered�察�on to the next。



LADY TOUCH。  Death�察�do you dally with my passion�拭 �Insolent devil��

But have a care��provoke me not�察�for�察�by the eternal fire�察�you

shall not 'scape my vengeance。  Calm villain�  �How unconcerned he

stands�察�confessing treachery and ingratitude�  �Is there a vice more

black�拭 �Oh�察�I have excuses thousands for my faults�察�fire in my

temper�察�passions in my soul�察�apt to ev'ry provocation�察�oppressed at

once with love�察�and with despair。  But a sedate�察�a thinking villain��

whose black blood runs temperately bad�察�what excuse can clear��



MASK。  Will you be in temper�察�madam�拭 �I would not talk not to be

heard。  I have been ��she walks about disordered�А�a very great rogue

for your sake�察�and you reproach me with it�察�I am ready to be a rogue

still�察�to do you service�察�and you are flinging conscience and honour

in my face�察�to rebate my inclinations。  How am I to behave myself��

You know I am your creature�察�my life and fortune in your power�察�to

disoblige you brings me certain ruin。  Allow it I would betray you��

I would not be a traitor to myself�此 �I don't pretend to honesty��

because you know I am a rascal�察�but I would convince you from the

necessity of my being firm to you。



LADY TOUCH。  Necessity�察�impudence�  �Can no gratitude incline you�察�no

obligations touch you�拭 �Have not my fortune and my person been

subjected to your pleasure�拭 �Were you not in the nature of a

servant�察�and have not I in effect made you lord of all�察�of me�察�and

of my lord�拭 �Where is that humble love�察�the languishing�察�that

adoration�察�which once was paid me�察�and everlastingly engaged��



MASK。  Fixt�察�rooted in my heart�察�whence nothing can remove 'em�察�yet

you ´



LADY TOUCH。  Yet�察�what yet��



MASK。  Nay�察�misconceive me not�察�madam�察�when I say I have had a

gen'rous and a faithful passion�察�which you had never favoured�察�but

through revenge and policy。



LADY TOUCH。  Ha��



MASK。  Look you�察�madam�察�we are alone��pray contain yourself and

hear me。  You know you loved your nephew when I first sighed for

you�察�I quickly found it�此 �an argument that I loved�察�f

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