the new machiavelli-第24章

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watched　us　approaching　and　smiled　faintly；　her　eyes　at　mine。



There　was　some　greeting；　and　two　of　them　laughed　together。



We　passed。



〃Glorious　girls　they　were；〃　said　Willersley；　and　suddenly　an　immense　

sense　of　boredom　enveloped　me。　　I　saw　myself　striding　on　down　that　

winding　road；　talking　of　politics　and　parties　and　bills　of　

parliament　and　all　sorts　of　dessicated　things。　　That　road　seemed　to　

me　to　wind　on　for　ever　down　to　dust　and　infinite　dreariness。　　I　knew　

it　for　a　way　of　death。　　Reality　was　behind　us。



Willersley　set　himself　to　draw　a　sociological　moral。　　〃I'm　not　so　

sure；〃　he　said　in　a　voice　of　intense　discriminations；　〃after　all；　

that　agricultural　work　isn't　good　for　women。〃



〃Damn　agricultural　work！〃　I　said；　and　broke　out　into　a　vigorous　

cursing　of　all　I　held　dear。　　〃Fettered　things　we　are！〃　I　cried。　　〃I　

wonder　why　I　stand　it！〃



〃Stand　what？〃



〃Why　don't　I　go　back　and　make　love　to　those　girls　and　let　the　world　

and　you　and　everything　go　hang？　　Deep　breasts　and　rounded　limbsand　

we　poor　emasculated　devils　go　tramping　by　with　the　blood　of　youth　in　

us！　。　。　。〃



〃I'm　not　quite　sure；　Remington；〃　said　Willersley；　looking　at　me　with　

a　deliberately　quaint　expression　over　his　glasses；　〃that　picturesque　

scenery　is　altogether　good　for　your　morals。〃



That　fever　was　still　in　my　blood　when　we　came　to　Locarno。







13





Along　the　hot　and　dusty　lower　road　between　the　Orrido　of　Traffiume　

and　Cannobio　Willersley　had　developed　his　first　blister。　　And　partly　

because　of　that　and　partly　because　there　was　a　bag　at　the　station　

that　gave　us　the　refreshment　of　clean　linen　and　partly　because　of　

the　lazy　lower　air　into　which　we　had　come；　we　decided　upon　three　or　

four　days'　sojourn　in　the　Empress　Hotel。



We　dined　that　night　at　a　table…d'hote；　and　I　found　myself　next　to　an　

Englishwoman　who　began　a　conversation　that　was　resumed　presently　in　

the　hotel　lounge。　　She　was　a　woman　of　perhaps　thirty…three　or　

thirty…four；　slenderly　built；　with　a　warm　reddish　skin　and　very　

abundant　fair　golden　hair；　the　wife　of　a　petulant…looking　heavy…

faced　man　of　perhaps　fifty…three；　who　smoked　a　cigar　and　dozed　over　

his　coffee　and　presently　went　to　bed。　　〃He　always　goes　to　bed　like　

that；〃　she　confided　startlingly。　　〃He　sleeps　after　all　his　meals。　　I　

never　knew　such　a　man　to　sleep。〃



Then　she　returned　to　our　talk；　whatever　it　was。



We　had　begun　at　the　dinner　table　with　itineraries　and　the　usual　

topographical　talk；　and　she　had　envied　our　pedestrian　travel。　　〃My　

husband　doesn't　walk；〃　she　said。　　〃His　heart　is　weak　and　he　cannot　

manage　the　hills。〃



There　was　something　friendly　and　adventurous　in　her　manner；　she　

conveyed　she　liked　me；　and　when　presently　Willersley　drifted　off　to　

write　letters　our　talk　sank　at　once　to　easy　confidential　undertones。　　

I　felt　enterprising；　and　indeed　it　is　easy　to　be　daring　with　people　

one　has　never　seen　before　and　may　never　see　again。　　I　said　I　loved　

beautiful　scenery　and　all　beautiful　things；　and　the　pointing　note　in　

my　voice　made　her　laugh。　　She　told　me　I　had　bold　eyes；　and　so　far　as　

I　can　remember　I　said　she　made　them　bold。　　〃Blue　they　are；〃　she　

remarked；　smiling　archly。　　〃I　like　blue　eyes。〃　　Then　I　think　we　

compared　ages；　and　she　said　she　was　the　Woman　of　Thirty；　〃George　

Moore's　Woman　of　Thirty。〃



I　had　not　read　George　Moore　at　the　time；　but　I　pretended　to　

understand。



That；　I　think；　was　our　limit　that　evening。　　She　went　to　bed；　smiling　

good…night　quite　prettily　down　the　big　staircase；　and　I　and　

Willersley　went　out　to　smoke　in　the　garden。　　My　head　was　full　of　

her；　and　I　found　it　necessary　to　talk　about　her。　　So　I　made　her　a　

problem　in　sociology。　　〃Who　the　deuce　are　these　people？〃　I　said；　and　

how　do　they　get　a　living？　　They　seem　to　have　plenty　of　money。　　He　

strikes　me　as　beingWillersley；　what　is　a　drysalter？　　I　think　he's　

a　retired　drysalter。〃



Willersley　theorised　while　I　thought　of　the　woman　and　that　

provocative　quality　of　dash　she　had　displayed。　　The　next　day　at　

lunch　she　and　I　met　like　old　friends。　　A　huge　mass　of　private　

thinking　during　the　interval　had　been　added　to　our　effect　upon　one　

another。　　We　talked　for　a　time　of　insignificant　things。



〃What　do　you　do；〃　she　asked　rather　quickly；　〃after　lunch？　　Take　a　

siesta？〃



〃Sometimes；〃　I　said；　and　hung　for　a　moment　eye　to　eye。



We　hadn't　a　doubt　of　each　other；　but　my　heart　was　beating　like　a　

steamer　propeller　when　it　lifts　out　of　the　water。



〃Do　you　get　a　view　from　your　room？〃　she　asked　after　a　pause。



〃It's　on　the　third　floor；　Number　seventeen；　near　the　staircase。　　My　

friend's　next　door。〃



She　began　to　talk　of　books。　　She　was　interested　in　Christian　

Science；　she　said；　and　spoke　of　a　book。　　I　forget　altogether　what　

that　book　was　called；　though　I　remember　to　this　day　with　the　utmost　

exactness　the　purplish　magenta　of　its　cover。　　She　said　she　would　

lend　it　to　me　and　hesitated。



Wlllersley　wanted　to　go　for　an　expedition　across　the　lake　that　

afternoon；　but　I　refused。　　He　made　some　other　proposals　that　I　

rejected　abruptly。　　〃　I　shall　write　in　my　room；〃　I　said。



〃Why　not　write　down　here？〃



〃I　shall　write　in　my　room；〃　I　snarled　like　a　thwarted　animal；　and　he　

looked　at　me　curiously。　　〃Very　well；〃　he　said；　〃then　I'll　make　some　

notes　and　think　about　that　order　of　ours　out　under　the　magnolias。〃



I　hovered　about　the　lounge　for　a　time　buying　postcards　and　

feverishly　restless；　watching　the　movements　of　the　other　people。　　

Finally　I　went　up　to　my　room　and　sat　down　by　the　windows；　staring　

out。　　There　came　a　little　tap　at　the　unlocked　door　and　in　an　

instant；　like　the　go　of　a　taut　bowstring；　I　was　up　and　had　it　open。



〃Here　is　that　book；〃　she　said；　and　we　hesitated。



〃COME　IN！〃　I　whispered；　trembling　from　head　to　foot。



〃You're　just　a　boy；〃　she　said　in　a　low　tone。



I　did　not　feel　a　bit　like　a　lover；　I　felt　like　a　burglar　with　the　

safe…door　nearly　opened。　　〃Come　in；〃　I　said　almost　impatiently；　for　

anyone　might　be　in　the　passage；　and　I　gripped　her　wrist　and　drew　her　

towards　me。



〃What　do　you　mean？〃　she　answered　with　a　faint　smile　on　her　lips；　and　

awkward　and　yielding。



I　shut　the　door　behind　her；　still　holding　her　with　one　hand；　then　

turned　upon　hershe　was　laughing　nervouslyand　without　a　word　drew　

her　to　me　and　kissed　her。　　And　I　remember　that　as　I　kissed　her　she　

made　a　little　noise　almost　like　the　purring　miaow　with　which　a　cat　

will　greet　one　and　her　face；　close　to　mine；　became　solemn　and　

tender。



She　was　suddenly　a　different　being　from　the　discontented　wife　who　

had　tapped　a　moment　since　on　my　door；　a　woman　transfigured。　。　。　。



That　evening　I　came　down　to　dinner　a　monster　of　pride；　for　behold！　I　

was　a　man。　　I　felt　myself　the　most　wonderful　and　unprecedented　of　

adventurers。　　It　was　hard　to　believe　that　any　one　in　the　world　

before　had　done　as　much。　　My　mistress　and　I　met　smiling；　we　carried　

things　off　admirably；　and　it　seemed　to　me　that　Willersley　was　the　

dullest　old　dog　in　the　world。　　I　wanted　to　give　him　advice。　　I　

wanted　to　give　him　derisive　pokes。　　After　dinner　and　coffee　in　the　

lounge　I　was　too　excited　and　hilarious　to　go　to　bed；　I　made　him　come　

with　me　down　to　the　cafe　under　the　arches　by　the　pier；　and　there　

drank　beer　and　talked　extravagant　nonsense　about　everything　under　

the　sun；　in　order　not　to　talk　about　the　happenings　of　the　afternoon。　　

All　the　time　something　shouted　within　me：　〃I　am　a　man！　　I　am　a　

man！〃　。　。　。



〃What　shall　we　do　to…morrow？〃　said　he。



〃I'm　for　loafing；〃　I　said。　　〃Let's　row　in　the　morning　and　spend　to…

morrow　afternoon　just　as　we　did　to…day。〃



〃They　say　the　church　behind　the　town　is　worth　seeing。〃



〃We'll　go　up　about　sunset；　that's　the　best　time　for　it。　　We　can　

start　about　five。〃



We　heard　music；　and　went　further　along　the　arcade　to　discover　a　

place　where　girls　in　operatic　Swiss　peasant　costume　were　singing　and　

dancing　on　a　creaking；　protesting　little　stage。　　I　eyed　their　

generous　display　of　pink　neck　and　arm　with　the　seasoned　eye　of　a　man　

who　has　lived　in　the　world。　　Life　was　perfectly　simple　and　easy；　I　

felt；　if　one　took　it　the　right　way。



Next　day　Willersley　wanted　to　go　on；　but　I　delayed。　　Altogether　I　

kept　him　back　four　days。　　Then　abruptly　my　mood　changed；　and　we　

decided　to　start　early　the　following　morning。　　I　remember；　though　a　

little　indistinctly；　the　feeling　of　my　last　talk　with　that　woman　

whose　surname；　odd　as　it　may　seem；　either　I　never　learnt　or　I　have　

forgotten。　　（Her　christian　name　was　Milly。）　　She　was　tired　and　

rather　low…spirited；　and　disposed　to　be　sentimental；　and　for　the　

first　time　in　our　intercourse　I　found　myself　liking　her　for　the　sake　

of　her　own　personality。　　There　was　something　kindly　and　generous　

appearing　behind　the　veil　of　naive　and　uncontrolled　sensuality　she　

had　worn。　　There　was　a　curious　quality　of　motherliness　in　her　

attitude　to　me　that　something　in　my　nature　answered　and　approved。　　

She　didn't　pretend　to　keep　it　up　that　she　had　yielded　to　my　

initiative。　　〃I've　done　you　no　harm；〃　she　said　a　little　doubtfully；　

an　odd　note　for　a　man's　victim！　　And；　〃we've　had　a　good　time。　　You　

have　liked　me；　haven't　you？〃



She　interested　me　in　her　lonely　dissatisfied　life；　she　was　childless　

and　had　no　hope　of　children；　and　her　husband　was　the　only　son　of　a　

rich　meat　salesman；　very　mean；　a　mighty　smoker〃he　reeks　of　it；〃　

she　said；　〃always〃and　interested　in　nothing　but　golf；　billiards　

（which　he　played　very　badly）；　pigeon　shooting；　convivial　Free　

Masonry　and　Stock　Exchange　punting。　　Mostly　they　drifted　about　the　

Riviera。　　Her　mother　had　contrived　her　marriage　when　she　was　

eighteen。　　They　were　the　first　samples　I　ever　encountered　of　the　

great　multitude　of　functionless　property　owners　which　encumbers　

modern　civilisationbut　at　the　time　I　didn't　think　much　of　that　

aspect　of　them。　。　。　。



I　tell　all　this　business　as　it　happened　without　comment；　because　I　

have　no　comment　to　make。　　It　was　all　strange　to　me；　strange　rather　

than　wonderful；　and；　it　may　be；　some　dream　of　beauty　died　for　ever　

in　those　furtive　meetings；　it　happened　to　me；　and　I　could　scarcely　

have　been　more　irresponsible　in　the　matter　or　controlled　events　less　

if　I　had　been　suddenly　pushed　over　a　cliff　into　water。　　I　swam；　of　

coursefinding　myself　in　it。　　Things　tested　me；　and　I　reacted；　as　I　

have　told。　　The　bloom　of　my　innocence；　if　ever　there　had　been　such　a　

thing；　was　gone。　　And　here　is　the　remarkable　thing　about　it；　at　the　

time　and　for　some　days　I　was　over…weeningly　proud；　I　have　never　been　

so　proud　before　or　since；　I　felt　I　had　been　promoted　to　virility；　I　

was　unable　to　conceal　my　exultation　from　Willersley。　　It　was　a　mood　

of　shining　shameless　ungracious　self…approval。　　As　he　and　I　went　

along　in　the　cool　morning　sunshine　by　the　rice　fields　in　the　throat