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co´operate�察�failing to grip。 And the common soldiers�察�too�察�they
were just what our streets and country´side had made them�察�no sudden
magic came out of the war bugles for them。 Neither splendid nor
disgraceful were they��just ill´trained and fairly plucky and
wonderfully good´tempered menpaying for it。 And how it lowered
our vitality all that first winter to hear of Nicholson's Nek�察�and
then presently close upon one another�察�to realise the bloody waste
of Magersfontein�察�the shattering retreat from Stormberg�察�Colenso
Colenso�察�that blundering battle�察�with White�察�as it seemed�察�in
Ladysmith near the point of surrender� �and so through the long
unfolding catalogue of bleak disillusionments�察�of aching�察�
unconcealed anxiety lest worse should follow。 To advance upon your
enemy singing about his lack of cleanliness and method went out of
fashion altogether� �The dirty retrogressive Boer vanished from our
scheme of illusion。
All through my middle Cambridge period�察�the guns boomed and the
rifles crackled away there on the veldt�察�and the horsemen rode and
the tale of accidents and blundering went on。 Men�察�mules�察�horses�察�
stores and money poured into South Africa�察�and the convalescent
wounded streamed home。 I see it in my memory as if I had looked at
it through a window instead of through the pages of the illustrated
papers�察�I recall as if I had been there the wide open spaces�察�the
ragged hillsides�察�the open order attacks of helmeted men in khaki�察�
the scarce visible smoke of the guns�察�the wrecked trains in great
lonely places�察�the burnt isolated farms�察�and at last the blockhouses
and the fences of barbed wire uncoiling and spreading for endless
miles across the desert�察�netting the elusive enemy until at last�察�
though he broke the meshes again and again�察�we had him in the toils。
If one's attention strayed in the lecture´room it wandered to those
battle´fields。
And that imagined panorama of war unfolds to an accompaniment of
yelling newsboys in the narrow old Cambridge streets�察�of the flicker
of papers hastily bought and torn open in the twilight�察�of the
doubtful reception of doubtful victories�察�and the insensate
rejoicings at last that seemed to some of us more shameful than
defeats。 。 。 。
7
A book that stands out among these memories�察�that stimulated me
immensely so that I forced it upon my companions�察�half in the spirit
of propaganda and half to test it by their comments�察�was Meredith's
ONE OF OUR CONQUERORS。 It is one of the books that have made me。
In that I got a supplement and corrective of Kipling。 It was the
first detached and adverse criticism of the Englishman I had ever
encountered。 It must have been published already nine or ten years
when I read it。 The country had paid no heed to it�察�had gone on to
the expensive lessons of the War because of the dull aversion our
people feel for all such intimations�察�and so I could read it as a
book justified。 The war endorsed its every word for me�察�underlined
each warning indication of the gigantic dangers that gathered
against our system across the narrow seas。 It discovered Europe to
me�察�as watching and critical。
But while I could respond to all its criticisms of my country's
intellectual indolence�察�of my country's want of training and
discipline and moral courage�察�I remember that the idea that on the
continent there were other peoples going ahead of us�察�mentally alert
while we fumbled�察�disciplined while we slouched�察�aggressive and
preparing to bring our Imperial pride to a reckoning�察�was extremely
novel and distasteful to me。 It set me worrying of nights。 It put
all my projects for social and political reconstruction upon a new
uncomfortable footing。 It made them no longer merely desirable but
urgent。 Instead of pride and the love of making one might own to a
baser motive。 Under Kipling's sway I had a little forgotten the
continent of Europe�察�treated it as a mere envious echo to our own
world´wide display。 I began now to have a disturbing sense as it
were of busy searchlights over the horizon。 。 。 。
One consequence of the patriotic chagrin Meredith produced in me was
an attempt to belittle his merit。 ;It isn't a good novel�察�anyhow�察─�
I said。
The charge I brought against it was�察�I remember�察�a lack of unity。
It professed to be a study of the English situation in the early
nineties�察�but it was all deflected�察�I said�察�and all the interest was
confused by the story of Victor Radnor's fight with society to
vindicate the woman he had loved and never married。 Now in the
retrospect and with a mind full of bitter enlightenment�察�I can do
Meredith justice�察�and admit the conflict was not only essential but
cardinal in his picture�察�that the terrible inflexibility of the rich
aunts and the still more terrible claim of Mrs。 Burman Radnor�察�the
;infernal punctilio�察─�and Dudley Sowerby's limitations�察�were the
central substance of that inalertness the book set itself to assail。
So many things have been brought together in my mind that were once
remotely separated。 A people that will not valiantly face and
understand and admit love and passion can understand nothing
whatever。 But in those days what is now just obvious truth to me
was altogether outside my range of comprehension。 。 。 。
8
As I seek to recapitulate the interlacing growth of my apprehension
of the world�察�as I flounder among the half´remembered developments
that found me a crude schoolboy and left me a man�察�there comes out�察�
as if it stood for all the rest�察�my first holiday abroad。 That did
not happen until I was twenty´two。 I was a fellow of Trinity�察�and
the Peace of Vereeniging had just been signed。
I went with a man named Willersley�察�a man some years senior to
myself�察�who had just missed a fellowship and the higher division of
the Civil Service�察�and who had become an enthusiastic member of the
London School Board�察�upon which the cumulative vote and the support
of the ;advanced; people had placed him。 He had�察�like myself�察�a
small independent income that relieved him of any necessity to earn
a living�察�and he had a kindred craving for social theorising and
some form of social service。 He had sought my acquaintance after
reading a paper of mine ��begotten by the visit of Chris Robinson�� on
the limits of pure democracy。 It had marched with some thoughts of
his own。
We went by train to Spiez on the Lake of Thun�察�then up the Gemmi�察�
and thence with one or two halts and digressions and a little modest
climbing we crossed over by the Antrona pass ��on which we were
benighted�� into Italy�察�and by way of Domo D'ossola and the Santa
Maria Maggiore valley to Cannobio�察�and thence up the lake to Locarno
��where�察�as I shall tell�察�we stayed some eventful days�� and so up the
Val Maggia and over to Airolo and home。
As I write of that long tramp of ours�察�something of its freshness
and enlargement returns to me。 I feel again the faint pleasant
excitement of the boat train�察�the trampling procession of people
with hand baggage and laden porters along the platform of the
Folkestone pier�察�the scarcely perceptible swaying of the moored boat
beneath our feet。 Then�察�very obvious and simple�察�the little emotion
of standing out from the homeland and seeing the long white Kentish
cliffs recede。 One walked about the boat doing one's best not to
feel absurdly adventurous�察�and presently a movement of people
directed one's attention to a white lighthouse on a cliff to the
east of us�察�coming up suddenly�察�and then one turned to scan the
little different French coast villages�察�and then�察�sliding by in a
pale sunshine came a long wooden pier with oddly dressed children
upon it�察�and the clustering town of Boulogne。
One took it all with the outward calm that became a young man of
nearly three and twenty�察�but one was alive to one's finger´tips with
pleasing little stimulations。 The custom house examination excited
one�察�the strangeness of a babble in a foreign tongue�察�one found the
French of City Merchants' and Cambridge a shy and viscous flow�察�and
then one was standing in the train as it went slowly through the
rail´laid street to Boulogne Ville�察�and one looked out at the world
in French�察�porters in blouses�察�workmen in enormous purple trousers�察�
police officers in peaked caps instead of helmets and romantically
cloaked�察�big carts�察�all on two wheels instead of four�察�green
shuttered casements instead of sash windows�察�and great numbers of
neatly dressed women in economical mourning。
;Oh� �there's a priest� ─�one said�察�and was betrayed into suchlike
artless cries。
It was a real other world�察�with different government and different
methods�察�and in the night one was roused from uneasy slumbers and
sat blinking and surly�察�wrapped up in one's couverture and with
one's oreiller all awry�察�to encounter a new social phenomenon�察�the
German official�察�so different in manner from the British�察�and when
one woke again after that one had come to Bale�察�and out one tumbled
to get coffee in Switzerland。 。 。 。
I have been over that route dozens of times since�察�but it still
revives a certain lingering youthfulness�察�a certain sense of
cheerful release in me。
I remember that I and Willersley became very sociological as we ran
on to Spiez�察�and made all sorts of generalisations from the steeply
sloping fields on the hillsides�察�and from the people we saw on
platforms and from little differences in the way things were done。
The clean prosperity of Bale and Switzerland�察�the big clean
stations�察�filled me with patriotic misgivings�察�as I thought of the
vast dirtiness of London�察�the mean dirtiness of Cambridgeshire。 It
came to me that perhaps my scheme of international values was all
wrong�察�that quite stupendous possibilities and challenges for us and
our empire might be developing hereand I recalled Meredith's
Skepsey in France with a new understanding。
Willersley had dressed himself in a world´worn Norfolk suit of
greenish grey tweeds that ended unfamiliarly at his rather
impending�察�spectacled�察�intellectual visage。 I didn't�察�I remember�察�
like the contrast of him with the drilled Swiss and Germans about
us。 Convict coloured stockings and vast hobnail boots finished him
below�察�and all his luggage was a borrowed rucksac that he had tied
askew。 He did not want to shave in the train�察�but I made him at one
of the Swiss stationsI dislike these Oxford slovenlinessesand
then confound him� �he cut himself and bled。 。 。 。
Next morning we were breathing a thin exhilarating air that seemed
to have washed our very veins to an incredible cleanliness�察�and
eating hard´boiled eggs in a vast clear space of rime´edged rocks�察�
snow´mottled�察�above a blue´gashed glacier。 All about us the
mo